30. Annalise
30
ANNALISE
O ne week has already passed since Maksen and I started sleeping together and I couldn’t be happier for it. It felt comforting to have someone holding me, making me feel safe and always at peace. He made me happy.
I wasn’t afraid of anything anymore, and I didn’t have nightmares, which really shocked me.
I raised my gaze towards him, smiling in the corner of my mouth as I saw him already looking at me.
“Today is the day when you’ll meet your father again,” he said as I poured a glass of orange juice.
“Today is also the day when Katya will come back to her new home,” I quickly replied and took a sip from the juice. “Aren’t you nervous to see your future bride?”
His jaw clenched and I was pretty sure that if he could, he would’ve made me shut my mouth. Yet he kept silent and made sure to throw a terrifying glance at me.
“Let’s not call her that way, shall we?” he said, raising his eyes when Taylor entered the kitchen.
He always arrived at this time and I was excited whenever I saw him because I knew there was going to be plenty of delicious healthy dishes on our table.
“Good morning!” he said as he fixed his kitchen apron on his body.
“Good morning to you too!” I instantly replied and gave him a wide smile.
He smiled back, then he started looking into the cabinets. Even if it’s only been a week, I started to love Taylor and appreciate his services.
He reminded me of Olivia more often than I thought, and even though I didn’t want to accept it, I really missed her. I grew up with her and the truth I knew about her made me want to stay away. Now that I moved in with Maksen, I was able to do that daily, but it felt like something was missing.
“Come with me,” Maksen said as he fixed the jacket on his wide shoulders, then started walking to the secondary hallway.
I furrowed my brows in confusion, sitting up from the chair and following him with cautious steps. He didn’t turn to face me as I was walking behind him and I felt like a little puppy following his owner around the house. But the moment we reached the front door, he instantly turned on his heels and looked me deeply in the eyes. I almost bumped into him, but he immediately grabbed me by my waist and made my body stick to his.
“They’ll be here in a few hours and I want you to know that I’ll be treating Katya as my future wife as long as Lukyan will be here,” he explained and I felt a lump getting stuck in my throat. “You understand why, right, Annalise?”
“Yes, I do,” I replied, feeling shivers down my spine as his thumbs started playing on my lower back.
“Promise me that you won’t let this upset you.”
“I promise.”
And I lied so freely that I shocked myself. Is he going to kiss her? Touch her like he does to me? What’s he going to do with her that he also does with me?
Before I could ask myself any other question, he pressed his lips on mine, making my knees melt. It was meaningful. He wanted to assure me that he didn’t want to treat Katya as his future bride, but he had no choice.
I put my hand on his cheek, then I inhaled deeply when he pulled away from the kiss.
“Go to your room until they arrive and stay there.”
I nodded and before turning on my heels to walk away from him, I placed a quick kiss on his lips. He smiled in the most beautiful way possible.
I smiled back and my heart skipped a beat as I walked away from him.
I wasn’t going to be jealous because I knew he loved me, but I couldn’t walk away from him knowing I needed to play a role in front of everyone as if we weren’t a couple yet.
I was laying on the bed when they started talking downstairs. I could recognize Lukyan’s voice out of them all, and Katya’s was so low it couldn’t even be heard.
I stood up and nervously started walking in circles.
I wanted to see Katya and ask her if she was okay. After talking with Maksen, I realized she had done everything for me. She wanted to stick with the plan they put up together, so that she could make me happy and manage to get me out of Lukyan’s clutches.
She had been an awful sister all her life, but now it didn’t matter anymore. She wanted to change and I was going to help her do that. I wanted to get closer to her and truly feel that I had a sister for the first time in my life. And this might be the right moment to do it.
While I was still walking in the room, I heard some strange noises coming from my balcony, and that made me freeze. It wasn’t a bird because the sound was too loud, so I had to check it by myself. I made my way to the white curtain and slowly pulled it aside to take a look.
The moment I tilted my head to see if there was anything — or anyone — there, my brows got closer into a furrow. There was a little blonde girl, standing close to the window and trying to see something inside my room. She instantly looked at me when I opened the balcony’s door, and the moment I stepped outside, she let out a sound of fear.
“Who are you?” I whispered as I got closer to her.
I looked over, seeing that she came out from the room next to mine considering the door was open.
Has she been there all this time?
That’s why Maksen kept that door in the hallway always closed?
“I-I don’t think I’m allowed to talk to you,” she carefully replied. “I shouldn’t be here. I’m so sorry. Don’t tell Mister Brown that you saw me.”
She ran back to the other half of the balcony, totally disappearing into her room. It felt as if she had been a ghost in my dream, but I knew she was real.
Why did she call him Mister Brown?
There were so many questions going through my mind and I needed answers. I fucking needed answers and if he wasn’t going to give them to me, I was going to find out by myself. I didn’t understand why he would keep her hidden. She seemed scared.
He knew about everything I went through, and he still kept a little girl locked in her room?
What if Maksen was an abuser too?
No .
I was mad that what I went through made me, for even a second, think that Maksen would’ve done to a child what Sylvian did to me.
But why was I mad with him that he kept this a secret while I lied to him all this time about his parents?
I didn’t tell him Olivia was his real mother and I didn’t know when I was going to tell him. It felt as if no moment was right. So why was I angry about him lying to me when I was also hiding the truth?
“Annalise?”
The yell came from behind the door, accompanied by the sounds of the knocks.
I ran my hands over my face, trying to wipe off all the feelings that must have left their mark on me. I stepped inside the room and sat on the bed’s edge, then I put my hair up in a ponytail and tried to let a smile curve my lips.
“You can come in.”
The door opened and Lukyan entered the room. It was a surprise to see him coming to visit me. His face was the same unscrupulous one I knew, but I noticed he was trying to display a mask with me. It didn’t work anymore because I didn’t feel a thing seeing him now.
“Don’t you want to come downstairs and see your sister?”
“I do,” I replied and stood up. “But I wanted to be alone.”
His face changed and the tight-lipped smile made me realize he tried to control the anger he felt. He took a step toward me, rubbing his hands together.
“It’s just a matter of time until you’ll be back home, Annalise.”
“This is my home now,” I gritted my teeth, glaring at him.
He laughed at me and let his glance fall on the floor. Each word he spoke made me even angrier at him.
“Enjoy it while you can.”
Before I could give him a reply, he left the room and the only thing I heard was Maksen calling him. The sound of the slammed door made an echo in the entire house, but also in my heart.
He left me here, angry yet emptier than I’ve ever been. I tried so hard to understand his point of view, to truly see him as my real father, but he kept doing things that proved to me I shouldn’t have.
I took in a deep breath and left the room with tiny steps. Before heading to the stairs, I looked at the door Maksen always kept locked, remembering the awkward moment I met the little girl.
Was it not enough that everyone trampled on my trust?
I had to cast doubt upon the trust I had in Maksen too, and I couldn’t wait for the moment I would ask him for answers.
Their voices started to be louder as I got closer to the living room, and the moment I stepped on the soft carpet, they stopped talking. Katya raised her glance at me and her eyes filled with tears. A smile stretched across her face as she walked towards me and I couldn’t help myself but put my hands around her tiny weakened body.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to her ear.
She hugged me tightly and as I rested my head on her shoulder, I raised my eyes to Maksen. He looked at me and a smile crept onto his face as he tried to comfort me just by looking at me.
But it didn’t work this time as my mind kept wondering who that little girl was.
“You have no reason to apologize,” she said and took a step back to look me in the eyes.
I sighed, grabbing her hands in mine. “I know why you did it, Katya.”
She turned back to make eye contact with Maksen and he shrugged, as if he tried to exclude himself from the situation. “You couldn’t keep your mouth shut, right?”
“He shouldn’t have kept his mouth shut and he didn’t. He told me the truth and I’m sorry that you had to go through this just so I could be happy.”
“We, Anna. Just so we could be happy.”
“You were happy before I destroyed everything.”
She put her hands on both sides of my face and locked me with her eyes.
“I have never felt happier than I do now.”
She seemed genuine considering the way she talked and I tried to believe her even though I had second thoughts. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel better in this situation, but I had enough people trying to act differently with me just so I won’t feel bad. I wasn’t a little girl anymore, and for Katya, I needed to be the bigger sister because that’s who I was.
“Annalise, Boyce will show Katya her room. She’ll have the room next to yours,” Maksen said as I raised my gaze at him.
I furrowed my brows hearing his words, but then I saw Boyce coming towards us and Katya left with Maksen’s man. The moment I turned around, I felt a soft touch on my cheek.
It was him.
“Lukyan suspected that Katya and I were faking it, but I think we won some time to find a way to escape from his claws.”
As I heard him talking, I noticed heat lashing at my insides because the only thing I could think of was the little girl I met. I felt the questions almost leave my mouth and it was hard for me to keep the silence. I just looked at him and faked a smile.
“We’ll find a way somehow,” I replied, taking a deep breath in.
We looked at each other and I felt his eyes lingering on me more than usual. He sensed something was wrong, but he didn’t say a thing as if he was waiting for me to make the first step and open up.
It wasn’t the right time. Not now.
“What’s going on in your mind?”
His tone of voice caressed my soul in a way that made me even angrier. I shouldn’t have felt anything considering that I was actively questioning the trust I’ve put in him. But there I was, feeling my heart beating fast in my chest and my legs trembling out of nervousness.
“I’m hungry.”
I didn’t give him enough time to reply because I turned on my heels and made my way to the kitchen. I didn’t want to look at him anymore until I knew I could ask him what I needed to know.
The image of the little girl continued to come to my mind with every step I took. Her porcelain face carried fear as she stood by me and I thought about the reason she might’ve felt that way.
As I continued to dig deeper into my thoughts, I heard the sound of Maksen’s footsteps following me to the kitchen and my blood’s temperature raised instantly. He was getting on my nerves.
“Why are you following me?” I bursted out, turning on my heels as I reached the kitchen’s counter.
He stopped in front of me, his brows raising up in a hazy furrow. “What do you mean? What’s wrong with you?”
“I said I’m hungry. That does not mean you have to come with me,” I replied, biting my cheek.
His eyes flashed with a darkness I didn’t ever see in him, and all I knew was how quick he moved closer to me. I could feel his chest hitting mine as he let heavy breaths come out between his lips, making me want to hide in the darkest place possible.
He scared me, but he also made me even angrier.
“Tell me what this is all about,” he whispered, brushing my cheek with his rough fingers.
Before I opened my mouth to hit him with every word that came to my mind, I heard Katya approaching us and clearing her throat when she stopped in front of the table. He stepped away, but didn’t take his eyes off of me for a second. He was intimidating me, but I didn’t let it affect me too much. I glanced back at him, then I moved towards Katya.
She came and saved me from a situation I didn’t want to face right now.
“You must be hungry, right?” I asked her, opening the fridge’s door.
“I’m not,” she replied, taking a seat on the chair beside the table. “But I would like a glass of water though.”
I smiled in the corner of my mouth as I took a glass from the cabinet and poured water in it. I gave it to her and she thanked me with a slow tilt of her head. She seemed like she wanted to ask me what happened, but she couldn’t because Maksen’s eyes were still wandering on us.
“How do you like your room?” I asked, putting my elbows on the table’s edge.
She smiled, then took a sip from her water. “It’s really nice and makes me feel comfortable.”
Our conversation felt as if we had a barrier put between us that didn’t let us get closer to each other. I didn’t know why, but I just felt it there. Maybe it was because I had a volcano ready to erupt inside me and I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but what I had to say to Maksen.
No matter how much I would’ve tried to ignore that he hid a little girl under the same roof with me, I just couldn’t do it.
The silence we kept was shattered by Maksen’s ringtone. We both turned to him and I noticed his face expression changing when he took out the phone from his pocket. He swiped with his finger on the screen, then left the kitchen as he started speaking slowly.
As he made his way through the hallway, I looked at Katya and she sighed.
“Are you okay, Anna? You didn’t seem well when I came here.”
I let a sigh escape my mouth, running my hands through my hair strands.
“I keep finding so many things that are not moral, and I need to keep accepting them as part of my reality,” I whispered, looking cautiously around me so nobody could hear me talking.
She gulped, then she let her hands grab mine in a firm grip.
“There are many things you don’t know, ” she replied, her beautiful green eyes gazing at me in despair. “Our family is doing the least moral things you would think of, and it’s not something you could be proud of, but that’s who we are.”
“I know we hurt people, but I think I just came to the realization of this more deeply now.”
“Who told you?”
“Told me what?”
Her expression changed drastically and she tried to break eye contact, but we both turned around when Maksen walked in the kitchen again.
His shadow towered over us when he came closer. My heart skipped a beat when his fragrance hit my senses, but as soon as I heard his sigh, I knew we were going to fall down the hill soon.
“What happened?”
“Lydia was found dead in her house. We need to prepare for the funeral.”
My soul fell on the ground as my body stood strong in front of Katya who bursted out crying. Maksen tried to comfort me by caressing my hand and I kept silent as I looked at my sister. I took her into my arms as my mind tried so hard to digest what Maksen told us.
Aunt Lydia was dead.
I felt many things, but at the same time, I felt nothing.
Only the numbness that scared me the most.