칠
NIKKO
“ K ija-hyung?” I’m so startled by the video call that I momentarily forget to bow and nearly collide with the screen of my laptop in my haste to correct myself. As soon as I straighten up and can see him again, my first thought is terrible. Something has happened to Jase, and he wants to let me know. I can feel the color draining from my face. “Is…” I don’t even know how to ask, I’m so afraid of what he might say.
He holds a hand up to stop me. “I can see you panicking. Everything—everyone—is fine, Nikko.”
The relief that I feel is so instant and overwhelming it makes me a little lightheaded. I take a shaky breath, willing my heart to go back to normal. If I had any doubts about the depth or strength of my feelings for Jase, I think the last two minutes has made everything crystal clear. I can see him waiting for me to compose myself. “I am sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to check in on you,” he says, giving me a soft smile.
I have known and worked with Kija for most of the time I have been with the group, and while he has always been friendly and casually interested in our lives, he doesn’t just check in on any of us. I wonder if Jase has asked him to do so, and the idea makes me happy. “Oh. I’m well, thank you.”
He looks at me for a long moment, lips quirked into something that’s not quite a smirk, but definitely makes him seem amused. “That’s good. Anything exciting happen recently?”
Of course he’s aware of the time Jase and I spent together. But I don’t know how much Jase might have told him. Part of me hopes he couldn’t help but share everything because, like me, he felt like he might explode keeping it all inside. But the rest of me thinks I might prefer it if he didn’t give all the details and let us keep those amazing moments to ourselves. Even as the other members had tried to get me to tell them. There is so little that I am allowed to have that is all mine, it seemed important to hold those precious experiences close to my heart.
I know I’m blushing when I reply. “I got to see Jase.”
“And?” he prompts, an eyebrow raised, waiting, but he’s smiling now—bright and mischievous.
“He’s wonderful. I’m so glad I got to spend time with him,” I tell him. “But it makes me miss him now.”
“Sounds familiar,” he teases.
That must mean Jase has said the same about me. My heart gets that fizzy feeling again that makes me giggly. “You are being mean, hyung.”
Shaking his head, he says, “No, not mean. I know you were looking forward to seeing him, and I truly did want to see how you were feeling about that now. He’s my best friend, Nikko, and I want you both to be happy. And it makes me pleased to know that you are.”
I can’t stop the grin that takes over my mouth. I needed to hear that; his ongoing support is important to me. “Hyung…” I bite my lip, wondering if it’s appropriate for me to ask what I want to know. When he just waits, looking at me curiously, I decide to take the chance. “Did you think that… when you suggested him for my lessons… did you think…”
Kija laughs softly. “Jase asked me the same thing a while ago,” he explains, and I want to ask him a million more questions about when and how that conversation went. “I didn’t set you up intentionally. But now, it kind of seems like maybe I knew more than I realized, because all of this just makes sense to me. Feels right.”
“Thank you, hyung.” I can see my reflection in the screen, the way I am practically beaming even as there are tears prickling at the back of my eyes. I’ve always been a romantic, a believer in destiny and fate. Kija’s words make something in me light up, like a confirmation I did not realize I had been waiting for. “I want to see him again.”
“So, why don’t you?” he asks. “Invite him to the next stop.”
I blink back at him. The suggestion is so simple, and yet I had not considered it somehow.
Kija chuckles. “I’ll leave you with that. Goodbye, Nikko.”
I wave at him before he disappears, still wondering how it never crossed my mind to arrange for Jase to attend another show.
Lux bangs the door open, apparently having kicked it, since his arms are full of shopping bags from high-end stores. “Why do you look like that?” He drops his purchases on the bed and waves a finger in the general direction of my face.
“I’m going to invite Jase to see us in the next city,” I say, already trying to think of who I need to tell first to make this possible.
“ Ooooh ,” Lux breathes, as he moves to drape himself over me in a hug. “So romantic, ’Ko. I love this for you.”
I let him hold onto me for a moment as I contemplate what I am about to do. “Is it too much?”
“ Too much ? You’re asking if it’s too much to want to bring your boyfriend to see you?” He slides off the mattress and stands in front of me, hands on his hips. “Isn’t this everything you want? And it’s just a plane ticket away.”
I start to argue that he’s not my boyfriend, because we haven’t said that yet. I want him to be. Even though it seems too early, too fast, I think. But I don’t know how any of this works, and that makes me anxious, too. I don’t want to dwell on that now. I glance questioningly at Lux. “Do I ask him first or buy the ticket?”
“Buy the ticket, and then send him the information and tell him to come see you. It’ll be like something out of a movie.” He is practically swooning, all caught up in a cinematic daydream.
Feeling brave from Lux’s enthusiasm, I pull up an airline website and start searching for flights.
???
With each ring, I get a little more nervous. I know it’s late, and Jase is probably in bed. I hope he is sleeping, but I could not wait anymore. Lux is in the shower, and I have a ticket in Jase’s name and an email from our manager that is not exactly permission but also not a denial of my request to be allowed a guest.
Jase finally connects on video, his hair wild and eyes squinted as he adjusts to the light. “ Nikko .”
“Hi. I am sorry I woke you,” I say, but it is only a little bit true.
“No, don’t be sorry. I want to see you anytime I can.” He is quiet for a moment, just looking at me through the screen. “I miss you,” he says in a whisper.
I shake my head. “Do not miss me. Come see me.”
“What? When? How?” He is adorably confused. I wonder if he thinks he’s dreaming.
Tapping my phone to forward the information about the flight, I tell him, “In three days. Everything is arranged. Just say yes.”
Without a second of hesitation, Jase smiles. “Yes.”