CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JASE
“ L et us know if there is anything we can do to make your time with us more pleasant.” The perky, blonde desk attendant beams at me as she hands me the key card to my room. “Enjoy your stay!”
“Uh, thanks,” I mumble, walking away from the strangest check-in experience I’ve ever had. Granted, I don’t stay at hotels a lot—and certainly never at ones this nice—but the whole exchange just seemed kind of over-the-top. That may well have been because my assigned room is apparently on a floor taken up by Task Force, so maybe she has instructions to be extra nice to everyone associated with that. I’m surprised that I’m allowed to stay anywhere near the group, but Nikko assured me he would take care of everything, and he has. From the flight, to the airport pick up, and now my room, I’m just along for the ride.
I’ve felt like my heart has been in my throat since he invited me to see him a few days ago. I dropped everything to make arrangements—finding a pet sitter for Noel, coming down with a fake cough to cover my absence at work for the rest of the week, and squeezing in another shopping trip for both travel necessities and clothes that seemed more, “ Yeah, I’m with the band .”
Standing in the corner of the lobby, watching the numbers of the elevator descend, I can’t help sniffing as I wonder where the subtle, but extremely pleasant, floral scent is coming from. There’s no obvious source, but the air here is distinctly more aromatic than it was over by the desk. Just as the door dings open, I catch sight of some sort of refreshment area with a coffee bar and three very fancy beverage dispensers of fruit-infused water in various flavors.
So this is the kind of stuff I’ve been missing out on with my teacher’s salary.
I’m surprised by the melodic female voice that greets me as I step into the elevator and am informed I’m going up. I can only assume she will also tell me I’m going down if I leave a higher floor and I chuckle, because all I can think is, yes, I would be ecstatic to do so.
Once she announces that I have arrived at the eleventh floor and I begin making my way to my room, I start imagining what could happen while I’m here, just like I have been about every seven seconds since I said “yes” to Nikko’s invitation.
I truly don’t want to rush anything, but I’m also feeling more than a little desperate to really get my hands on him. Letting him make the moves has worked out well so far, but I wonder if he’s hesitating or holding back. I’m not trying to look for signs that aren’t there. If we never move beyond kissing, I’m more than happy to just have him in my arms. But I’ve had a taste of him now, and I’m always going want more if I can have it. He will be the one to decide, though.
Realizing I’d walked right past my room while daydreaming about Nikko again, I turn around and locate the correct door, holding up the keycard and watching a dizzying combination of neon green lights flash in some sort of pattern before it finally lets me in.
As soon as I’m inside, I notice immediately that someone has already been there. I wonder if there’s been a mistake or if Kija has decided to show up and surprise me. But then I recognize the stickers on the suitcase tucked under the table and the sneakers by the dresser from seeing them both multiple times when Nikko would pack while we chatted.
I’m in Nikko’s room.
I drop my own bag, half from shock and partly from not knowing how to react, knowing I’ve got a key to Nikko’s room.
Which is apparently also my room.
We are sharing a room.
My stomach swoops. Did he request this? Did someone just assume this was basically a booty call and figure this would be easier than me sneaking around?
There are still two beds, so we can keep a respectable distance if that’s what he wants. I hope it’s not, but whatever he says goes.
I see that there’s a piece of the hotel stationary on the table and go to grab it. It’s a note written in a mix of Korean and English, Nikko’s handwriting neat and precise in both. He’s telling me to get comfortable, order whatever I might want from room service and promising me he’ll come back as soon as possible after the show, and I can hear every word in his voice as I read it. There’s a little heart, carefully drawn next to his name at the bottom and I have a fleeting thought of trying to find a tattoo studio nearby to ink it on me, this tiny symbol that makes my own heart wild.
My flight delay has already made me arrive later than I anticipated, and I want to wash the plane germs off before I see him. I hesitate for a second before stripping down, but ultimately decide a shower and a quick stroke session to chill out before Nikko gets back is probably the right thing to do.
????
I sit up when I hear the lock click and the door opens. Even in this random hotel room, there’s something that feels kind of domestic about this, waiting for him to come in. To come to me.
Nikko’s eyes light up as soon as he sees me. The rush of affection that I feel is almost overwhelming. He quickly turns to hang the “do not disturb” sign outside and secures the door, dropping his bag and hurrying to cross the room.
His hair is damp, and I don’t know if it’s from cleaning up at the venue or if he’s still sweaty, but I don’t care. I reach for him as he steps into my space, our arms wrapping around each other simultaneously. We fit together so well, body to body, that I can’t help but think we were made for this. Made to match up, to align just so. Made for each other. It’s kind of trite and a little romance novel, but I don’t know how else to explain it.
Looking into his dark eyes, those stars that I can’t believe are real, that look even brighter in person, and reflect everything I want so badly, I have to kiss him. I need to taste him, to breathe him in, hold him just like this for as long as I can. As long as he’ll let me.
Nikko kisses back tentatively—like he’s still not quite sure of himself, or of us, after this time apart—until I squeeze him a little tighter, and it’s enough to make him bolder. I need him to know this is everything I could want. Just being here with him in this moment.
He moans softly, the sweetest sound against my lips, before pulling away with a shaky breath. “I like seeing you here. In my room. Waiting for me.”
Before I can even respond, he’s shaking his head, then speaking again. “No. Not waiting. I do not want you to wait on me. I like you here. For me. With me. I am sorry you waited.”
I slip my hand along his jawline, thumb brushing over his cheek as I smile at him. “I don’t mind waiting for you,” I say. Leaning in to kiss him again, I don’t even try to stop the words before they escape. “I think I’ve been waiting my whole life for you.”
Nikko gasps, stepping back, and I immediately worry it’s too much. I’ve been too honest, and he’s not ready for it. But as soon as his wide, warm eyes catch mine, I know I don’t have anything to worry about.
“I... I think the same,” he tells me, his fingers clutching at the fabric of my shirt. “I want to hear you say things. I think about them. And then you do. I cannot believe it is real.”
Tilting my head down to rest my forehead against his, I wonder the same thing as I close my eyes. How is this real? How did I get here? I have him to myself somehow. We both want to be here, together. Every fan’s fantasy, but this is actually my life? Incredible.
“Jase?”
It’s only one word, but I know all the ways he says my name, and this is different. I look at him again, our faces so close I feel like I could actually count the stars in his eyes. I give him some space but leave my hands on him, a loose grip keeping our fingers tangled. “Yeah?”
“Can we... If you…” Nikko starts and stops, fidgeting as his gaze roams everywhere around the room except me. His cheeks are turning pink, even as he tries again. “I want to.”
I think for a moment there’s going to be more to that sentence, but when no more words follow, I figure that I need to take some context clues. Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, I gently pull him to the space beside me. “What do you want, Nikko?” I ask quietly. “You just need to tell me, and I’ll give it to you. Believe me.”
“You are here. With me. And I want…”
Suddenly he’s got his hands on either side of my face, guiding me back into another kiss, much more aggressive than he’s ever been. I groan when he gives me a little nibble that’s rougher than he probably intends, but still sends the best kind of shock running through me. “Nikko. Anything. I swear.” I just need him to say the words, and whatever he wants, it’s his.
“I want to feel you,” he breathes, whisper soft. “ Jebal. ”
I kiss him again; I have to. He didn’t need to say please, but damn if that doesn’t spark something inside me. “I want that, too. Want to touch you.”
“Yes. You can.” He stands suddenly, looking at me with determination, like he’s trying to summon some kind of courage. Reaching for the hem of his shirt like he’s about to whip it off, he pauses. “Take this off of me?”
Hearing him say that, watching him request that I undress him, makes me hard so fast I’m kind of dizzy. I slip my hands around his hips, pulling him between my knees. He’s biting his lip, eyes locked on mine, and the desire there is so clear. He wants me. Wants this. As much as I do. But more than that, he trusts me enough to have this experience with me. I exhale, and it’s shaky, but my movements are steady as I slide to his waist, fingers dipping under the fabric of his tee and skimming across his skin, rucking the shirt up as I go.
It’s not the first time I’ve touched him, but the way he gasps makes it feel like it is, like that night on the rooftop. I lean in to kiss above his hipbones, trailing my lips along the soft definition of his abs. I can feel him trembling, the ragged rhythm of his breathing. “Okay?” I ask, my fingers splayed in the spaces between his ribs, holding him here. Just where I want him. Close enough to breathe him in. I want to drown in the way he smells—post-show sweaty, some kind of clean, crisp leftover cologne, and Nikko .
“ More . M-more than okay.” He fidgets, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself while he waits for me to do what he asked, to get his shirt off.
I could tease him, draw this out just because I’d like to take my time and make every single thing last as long as possible, but there’s so much of him to explore, and I want to give him what he wants. Standing up, I bring his shirt with me, pulling it up over his head and tossing it on the bed.
My gaze drops immediately, taking in his bare chest and the goosebumps that seem to pop up as my eyes roam over him. Raising my head, I bow to kiss him again, wrapping my arms around his waist in a tight hug. “You’re gorgeous, Nikko.” The reverence in my voice is real—I feel lucky to be able to see him like this, touch him like this.
“You, too, Jase,” he murmurs, tugging at my henley, trying to jerk it toward my shoulders. “You do it, too.”
I have to chuckle at his urgency, and I let go of him to quickly take it off. He’s staring at me intently, like he’s trying to memorize every new part of me as it’s revealed. Deciding I might as well just go for it, I whip my jeans off too, not missing the sharp intake of breath I hear when I do so. Glancing back in his direction, my ego gets a pretty significant boost from the way he’s looking at me standing here in my boxer briefs.
Nikko licks his lips slowly, like he’s hungry. Then he does the same, yanking off his own pants.
“ Fuck .” The word escapes me before I can even fully think about it, every single part of my brain caught up in what I’m seeing. He’s lithe, clearly muscular, his body strong and sleek. The black designer label briefs he’s wearing hug him beautifully, just tight enough to make my mouth water, the outline of his half-hard cock clearly visible .
I know he’s probably relying on me to decide what and how we’re going to do this, but as I keep looking at him, I am overwhelmed with a multitude of desires. I want to do everything with him, to him, for him. I want him all over me. I want to taste and touch him everywhere. But I also want to appreciate each new thing that we can share together, to take this slowly enough that he’s comfortable and both of us can fully enjoy being able to experience all of his firsts.
Nikko’s hands are curled into fists at his sides, but rather than seeming nervous, it appears as though he’s trying to hold himself back, to keep from doing something.
I can think of a thousand ways that this could go, and all of them would be perfect, but I am also happy with anything he might have in mind. He said he wanted to feel me. Pulling the bedspread off, I climb onto the mattress and settle back onto the pile of pillows as he watches me. As much as I want to spend the night learning every little thing about him and what he might like, I’m going to let him take control. “C’mere, Nikko,” I beckon, arms open for him.
Instantly he’s hopping onto the bed, but hesitates once he’s close to me, unsure of what he can or should do. I grip his hips gently, guiding him to straddle my thighs, and realize very quickly I am in no way prepared for this moment—Nikko settling on top of me, his expression a mix of wonder and lust.
“What should I do?” he asks, even as his palms press against my chest, thumbs brushing over my nipples.
I have to close my eyes for a second or something embarrassing is going to happen. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone, and there’s never been anyone I’ve wanted this much, cared for so deeply. “Literally anything you want,” I tell him.
Nikko shifts slightly, careful not to make too much contact as he folds himself over me, capturing my lips in a slow, searching kiss. The way he whimpers when he opens up for me might be my new favorite sound. At least until he seems to really let go and sink into it, allowing himself to press the entire length of his body to mine. We both gasp at the increased contact, and he begins to rut against my cock, moaning loudly.
He looks legitimately blissful when his eyes meet mine again. I nod, encouraging him by lifting my hips ever-so-slightly. “Just like that. Right there.”
“I…” Whatever else he was going to say gets lost in the experimental motion of grinding against me in haphazard figure-eights seeking more friction. “ Ooh. ”
My hands settle on his waist, helping him find a rhythm, even though he really doesn’t need any kind of guidance. He’s nudging his nose along the line of my jaw, panting against me as he finds and chases his pleasure. For just a second, I regret that we haven’t taken everything off—that we aren’t moving together completely skin-on-skin. But the nearly overwhelming sensation of our clothed cocks rubbing and brushing is more than enough for now.
Just when I think this couldn’t get any hotter, he sits up and slides forward to adjust his position. He’s cautious as he situates himself, his thighs braced tight against me as he starts to rock forward and back like he’s riding me.
I am sure I’ve never seen—or felt—anything as incredible as this. His dark hair falls in his face, covering his closed eyes, that perfect mouth slightly open with his heavy breathing, the pink that dusts his cheeks, and spills down over his chest as his movements become more erratic. “Nikko, don’t stop. Let me hear you,” I beg.
“Feels so… so good.” His hips stutter as I thrust up under him, unable to hold back any more. “I think… I… Jase .”
My name has never sounded sexier than when it leaves his mouth in a broken moan. I feel him tense as his fingers dig into my sides, his back arching as he shakes apart. It’s everything I need to send me over the edge as well, gripping whatever part of him I can hold onto as I come undone.
Nikko all but collapses on top of me, burying his head in the crook of my neck, gasping and giggling. “Wow.”
Wow seems insufficient, but I don’t disagree. Coaxing him to raise his head, I pull him into a messy kiss as we both try to catch our breath.
He’s the first to break away for air, inhaling quickly to ask, “Can we do it again?”
I have to laugh at his eagerness, but I’d also go again right now if I wasn’t worn out in the best kind of way. “Yes, but I think we should probably talk some more first, before we do anything else.”
“Oh. Right.” He looks disappointed for about half a second, before he’s smiling again, almost devious. “There are many things I want to try with you.”
“Same,” I tell him, bringing his mouth to mine for another kiss.
I have no idea how I got this lucky.
?? ??
My arm is asleep, and it’s a thousand degrees in this bed.
I shift, trying to get away from the heat and get some blood circulating when I very suddenly realize I am not alone. Nikko is sprawled beside me, pressed up against me as both the source of heat and the solid weight my arm is trapped under. I am instantly no longer concerned with my own comfort, but staying still to make sure I don’t disturb him as he sleeps.
His hair is a mess, sticking up every which way, but his face is absolutely serene, the barest hint of a smile on his perfectly pouty lips. I’m very aware of how much of his skin is on mine, and how this is simultaneously the best and worst way I have ever woken up.
Nikko is right here with me, which is amazing. We kissed and talked until we both couldn’t keep our eyes open, admittedly not all that long after we’d gotten off together. My cock twitches at that particular memory—the way he’d looked and sounded. I’ve never seen anything sexier. And holding him as I drifted off felt more like a dream than anything that could have happened while I was asleep.
To start my day like this, Nikko still in my arms, is incredible. And devastating, because I know the number of times it can happen again is so, so limited.
As though he can sense that I’m about to get sad, he stirs, the faint smile stretching into a real grin that I can feel. He presses a kiss to my shoulder, then yawns, and it’s adorable, like watching a sleepy kitten.
“Good morning,” I whisper, turning to brush my lips against his temple.
He blinks up at me, so soft and open. “This is my favorite morning ever.”
“Mine, too,” I assure him, pulling him a little closer until he’s resting fully on my chest, draped across me. I want to spend the rest of the day in bed, lost in each other, wrapped up in our own little world, just the two of us. But I know it can’t be like that, and what I want ultimately has very little impact on how things will turn out.
“I want to start every day like this,” Nikko murmurs, nuzzling into the crook of my neck. “Let’s pretend we can do that.”
God, I wish we could—that imagining we actually can have this could somehow make it real. I’d take either one, anything that lets me keep this moment longer. But I say, “Sure. Which life is this?”
He thinks for a moment, considering. “Seoul. We stay in bed until we decide it is time to go get coffee at the cafe where we met. After we go, we come back to bed. We would have more energy then…” His words trail off, an insinuation.
I can’t not laugh at him, endeared by his lack of subtlety. “Mm… yes. Energy, very important.”
Slipping one hand around the back of his neck while the other cradles his jaw, I just look at him for a minute, wanting to remember everything about this beautiful boy that I got to spend the night with. Wake up to.
It’s only temporary, but we’re here now. He’s got those stars in his eyes, and I feel like I can see everything I need to know in them.