CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
JASE
“ I thought it would be… bigger.”
Kija frowns at me. “I do not have to let you stay here.”
“I’m just saying, it looked larger on screen. Was it just good angles? Do you do that when you take nudes, too?” I joke as I look around his not-small-at-all apartment.
“This is Hannam, I don’t need more space or to take nudes with an address like this,” he says, smug.
I roll my eyes. “I should have left my shoes on when I walked in here.”
“I will toss your luggage out the window.”
“You don’t even have any windows that open,” I point out, gesturing to the giant floor to ceiling glass that gives a pretty stellar view of the city and part of the Han River.
“I will toss your luggage down the garbage chute,” he amends.
Giving him a thumbs-up, I wander around the rest of the apartment, extremely impressed. I knew he was successful, but I’m not sure I realized just how well he was doing. It makes me proud of him, not only for his achievements at his job, but also for still being exactly who he has always been.
Ever since Kija picked me up at the airport—almost two hours ago thanks to the Seoul traffic—it’s been non-stop roasting and joking, and I could not be happier. Like no time has passed since we were last here together, even though it feels like it was a lifetime ago with all that has happened since then.
When I finish my self-guided tour, Kija is waiting for me in the kitchen, holding two cans of our favorite beer. He hands one to me and sits down at his table. “I think the only time I use this thing is when I’m talking to you.”
“Which makes it basically my table then.” I give the polished top a possessive little pat and then crack open the beer. It’s still early-ish in the day here, but my body still thinks it’s last night, so it’s absolutely time for a drink.
“You’re ridiculous,” Kija mutters and takes a long sip. Then adds, “I’m glad you’re here. It’s good to see you, even though I know you’re not really here for me.”
“I’m not not here for you,” I argue.
He stares me down with what I assume is his intimidating business face, and I automatically sit up a little straighter. “I have asked you how many times? And not once did you take me up on my offer. But now Nikko is involved, and you couldn’t get here fast enough.”
I chug the better part of my beer before I tell him, “No comment.”
Kija is right, of course. I did put off visits for years, afraid of spending too much or getting here and then not being able to convince myself to leave again. As much as I missed him and South Korea, I hadn’t come, for a lot of reasons that do seem pretty dumb now.
But with Nikko waiting for me, I wanted to move fast. From the phone call where I first gave Kija my ideas, then reaching out to my parents to tell them I was going to Seoul for a while, and ultimately getting on the plane, had been pretty short. I didn’t want to waste a minute that I could be working on getting closer to Nikko quicker.
“I assume you already have plans to see him?” Kija asks.
Shaking my head, I tell him, “Not anything definite. I mean, obviously I’m going to meet up with him somehow, but we hadn’t figured out when or where yet. I wanted to see how the meeting went, since you said that would probably come up.”
“Here’s what I know,” he begins and it’s fascinating to watch the shift from my best friend Kija to Task Force Kija. “From what I can tell, they seem to be in favor of your proposal. It sounds like the idea of having an in-house language tutor had come up before, but with someone who was multilingual. So don’t be surprised if they ask you to learn Spanish or something, too. I think the job aspect is the easy part. I’ve spoken highly of you, and they can see the results with Nikko. But your relationship with him has caused some… displeasure.”
This is news to me. Now I’m nervous about tomorrow’s meeting in a whole new way. A job interview is one thing. Going in to meet the people who control my boyfriend’s life—and apparently don’t like me—is entirely different. “What? You didn’t say anything about that.”
“It’s not necessarily important, but I think you should know before we go in. Everyone wants to get close to these idols; you know that. They’ll do anything to try. There’s always the assumption of ulterior motives with outsiders,” Kija explains.
I frown, but I get it. It also just pisses me off—the fact that so many crazy people who have tried things in the past have made everyone else’s life more difficult now. “Obviously I want to get close to him. I’ve been close to him and I want to stay close to him.”
“You definitely should not mention just how close you have been to him.”
“Why would that even come up?” I cannot fathom a reason that I would be discussing my sex life in a meeting with executives at a music label, even if my partner does work for them.
Kija snorts. “You’d be surprised.”
“I just want to focus on what I can provide for the company and their trainees, idols, whoever—and that I promise to keep my mouth shut about everything,” I say, like he’s the one I need to convince about this. “So I’m trusting you to make sure the conversation stays professional.”
“It’s all professional to them if it involves their idols. They have a reputation to maintain—the company and the clients. They’re going to keep tabs on any relationship, but one of their male idols with an American man?” Kija taps his beer can to mine. “Good luck getting them to pay attention to anything else.”
“Great. Can’t wait.”
??? ??
Despite Kija leading me to believe this meeting was basically a formality, that is not the vibe I am getting at all.
After receiving a very thorough introduction to the expectations of working for the company, including a lengthy lecture on confidentiality, I’d been grilled about my educational background, work experience, and teaching philosophies, followed by a surprise quiz on my Korean skills. Which was fine. I could handle the rules and questions and sitting across from the infamous Yang Bitgaram, founder of Task Force, as he gives me an intense, unwavering stare while his assistant takes furious notes on everything I say.
I am very much not prepared for seeing Seojun again, escorting Nikko—who looks just as confused as I feel—into the room. Nikko glances at Kija, also appearing befuddled by his presence, even as Kija moves his chair over to make room for Nikko to sit next to him.
“Jase, you have already heard everything we have said about the necessity to protect our artists and the lengths we will go to in order to do so,” Yang-nim says, speaking for the first time since we’ve been in this meeting. “I know you have signed the non-disclosure documents in regard to your working relationship with Nikko-yah. As I understand the nature of your relationship has changed, we will need to amend those agreements.”
I nod. “I understand. Protecting your artist is my priority as well.”
“I’m pleased to hear you say that.” Yang-nim smiles, just slightly. Then he’s back to the stern, impassive expression he has had as he turns to address both me and Nikko. “We control the narrative from inside these walls, so there is an element of safety that does not extend beyond here. Your relationship does not, cannot, will not exist in public. I trust you know that and will act accordingly. Any support that you believe I have shown you will not continue if there is so much as a hint of suspicion.”
Nikko politely inclines his head. “Yes, Yang-nim.”
I should probably be more formal, but I didn’t so much like what Yang was insinuating there. “I’m a behind the scenes kind of guy. I’ll do my job here, and I will do it really well. No one will ever need to know how or why the groups at Task Force are more prepared for Western markets than groups at other labels. Because no one needs to know my name. And they definitely don’t need to know about my relationship.”
Yang Bitgaram smiles, for real this time. “I think I like you. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for now. You still have to be very careful, but I won’t try to keep you away from each other.”
“Thank you, Yang-nim!” Nikko exclaims, bolting out of his chair to do a full 90-degree bow.
“Thank you, sir.” I echo his sentiments with a slight nod in his direction, then watch as he stands, taps his assistant on the shoulder, and walks out without another word.
Kija exhales loudly. “Shit. I mean, good job, but that was crazy. Not what I expected, but you were awesome.”
Getting up, I wait for Kija and Nikko to round the table, first giving Kija a handshake-bro-hug and then pulling Nikko into a real hug. I feel bold enough to press a kiss to his temple, and I laugh at the happy little wiggle he does in my arms.
“That’s my cue to leave,” Kija says, shaking his head like he just knows what he’s going to have to deal with now from the two of us. “I’ll catch you back at my place. Eventually.”
“Uh, okay. I can find my way back after I talk to Nikko,” I say, but he’s gone.
“Come with me.” Nikko grabs my wrist and tugs me into a hall, walking rapidly through the long corridor.
“Where are we going?” I ask, trying not to pay attention to the confused and/or concerned looks on the faces of the Task Force employees we are rushing past.
“I want to show you something,” he says, making an abrupt left turn. Three doors down on the right, he stops and punches a code into the keypad. As soon as it clicks open, he’s yanking me inside. “Here.”
“What is—” I don’t have a chance to finish asking my question before he’s got his hands twisted in my shirt, pulling me toward him as he backs up against the nearest wall.
Nikko pulls me closer. “You were so hot in there. And I have always wanted to do this,” he confesses, just before his mouth crashes against mine in a fierce kiss.
I am suddenly extremely unconcerned with where we are and very much interested in getting my hands all over him. As his tongue glides over mine, I reach for his thigh, wrapping his leg around me to press our hips together. He whines in the kiss, rocking against me. I can feel he’s already mostly hard and it’s hot as fuck that it takes so little to get him so worked up.
Whatever we’re about to do already seems dangerous and reckless, and that turns me on even more. I’m not this guy. Or I wasn’t that guy. Maybe Nikko is going to teach me a few things about myself, too. I wedge my knee a little further between his legs to let him rut against me, and I groan at the same time he does from the added friction.
“Jase. I want to touch you,” he rasps, lips moving along the line of my jaw.
“Yes. Fuck.” I fumble with my buckle, like I can’t get my pants down fast enough. He giggles breathlessly, fingers wrapping around my cock even before I can shove my underwear out of the way. “Nikko. Let— let me…” I don’t even know what I’m trying to ask for; I just need more of him.
Nikko seems happy to torture me by gently pulsing his fist, then drawing his fingertips over the rigid outline of my cock while I try to figure out how to breathe and undo the zipper on his jeans at the same time. He finally has mercy on me and pushes them down, along with his briefs, his cock bobbing up toward his stomach.
I want to drop to my knees and take him in my mouth, until he’s sliding down the wall because his knees have gone weak. As I’m stepping back to do just that, he stops me, hands around my waist.
“Want to touch you while you kiss me,” he says, voice rough. “Please?”
Like I’d say no to anything he was asking for. I lean toward him, forearms caging him against the wall, and his breath hitches, making me smile against his lips. He opens up for me with a soft moan, his hands sliding down to grab my ass, bringing our bodies as close together as possible. With the space between us gone, our cocks have just enough contact to be maddening as I lick into his mouth. He whimpers in the kiss, trying to move his hips, even as he holds me in place. I break away to breathe. “Nikko…”
“No,” he gasps, trying to chase another kiss.
“Wait, I have an idea,” I tell him, slipping my fingers over the tip of his cock to gather the droplets and ease the slide along his length. I give him a couple of quick strokes, then adjust my stance to bring us in alignment, and wrap my hand around both of us. Nikko moans loudly, immediately thrusting into the ring of my fingers. “Take what you need,” I coax.
He looks down, fascinated by watching his own cock move against mine, each getting wetter with every pass. “Can I?”
I don’t have a chance to answer before he puts his hand on top of mine, the two of us stroking in tandem. I use my other hand to tilt his head so I can kiss him again, even though it’s more like panting against each other’s mouths as he tries to change the pace and his grip. “Keep going,” I tell him as I let go, and it’s only his hand working us both to the edge. “Love the way you feel.”
“C-close,” he stutters, his fingers flexing and tightening around us as he seems to lose the rhythm he had.
“Let me hear you.” I brush my lips from his mouth to his throat, nipping lightly.
“Oh!” he cries, sounding surprised as he spills over his hand and my cock. Slumping back against the wall, he takes a shaky breath. “Can I watch you?”
“Fuck. Yes,” I grunt, fist already tight around my cock, spreading Nikko’s release along my length with quick jerks. I can feel his eyes on me, and that’s enough to have me tensing with a moan, almost there.
Nikko slides further down the wall, until he’s sitting on the floor in front of me. “Jase. Yeogi, ” he says. “Come. Here.”
And opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out.
That’s all it takes.
I’m coming, one hand on my cock, the other braced against the wall to keep me from collapsing as I see white splatter on his tongue, across his cheek. When I catch sight of him licking his lips and swallowing, I honestly think my soul leaves my body for a second.
Nikko grins when he sees me sway, that pleased glint in his eye. He stands up, tucks himself back into his pants with his non-sticky hand, and takes a few steps to grab a bunch of tissues from a box off a small table near a sofa and gives me some so we can both clean up.
Looking around after I straighten up my clothes, I finally take notice of the details of the room we’re in. There’s the couch on one side, and on the other is a set of shelves holding awards and collectibles, but in the center of it all is a desk covered in fancy equipment. I can’t tell what all of it is, but I can identify two huge monitors, speakers, a keyboard, and what I believe is some sort of sound mixing thing. Oh my god. “Nikko… is this… is this someone’s studio?”
“Yes. Lalo’s,” he says, all nonchalant like we didn’t just literally fuck up his brother’s space. “He gave me the code to get in.”
Somehow I doubt what we did here was what he had in mind. “I can’t decide if I should apologize to Lalo immediately or hope he never finds out.”
Nikko laughs at my expression. “This is one of the few places that are really private,” he explains. “Lalo said we could come in here as long as we did not mess anything up or leave any evidence.”
“So we’re thanking Lalo, then. Got it.” I am incredulous. “That’s a hell of a friend.”
“Yes.” He reaches up to give me a quick kiss. “We will celebrate your new job more later.”
“More? I feel pretty well celebrated right now.” Because, damn .
“More naked,” he says with a wink.
It takes me a second to realize he’s opened the door and is waiting for me to follow.
?
I lie back on the pillows as Nikko settles on my chest, taking deep, slow breaths that I unconsciously start to match. It makes me smile as I realize we’re in sync, because it just feels fitting right now. This kind of mellow afterglow that’s not entirely from the round two celebratory orgasms we just had.
We’re together.
In Seoul.
In another hotel room, signed under someone else’s name, but we’re together.
We have a plan.
To stay together in Seoul.
Yes, I will have to turn my entire life upside, but even everything that I have to do now—quit my job, sell my house, move across the world—doesn’t seem all that daunting. Because in the end I get what I want. What we want.
We can find a way to build a life that works for us. It might look unconventional. It might be really fucking hard sometimes.
But knowing that we can have nights like this makes it all worth it.
As if Nikko can read my mind, he asks, “What are you going to tell people at home?”
“Basically the truth,” I say, as I raise my hand to slip through his hair. “I’m moving back to South Korea because I got a great offer for a job in the education division of an entertainment company. If someone asks for more than that, I’ll tell them about Kija working there. That will be enough.”
“Are you sad you cannot tell anyone more than that?” Nikko asks, tilting his head to be able to look up at me.
“No. I think that’s enough information. I’ve never wanted people all up in my personal business, so this is fine for me,” I tell him, truthfully. I wonder if he feels the same, though, if that’s why he’s asking. “Do you want to tell someone?”
Nikko shrugs. “My parents and the members know, and they are the important ones. I do wish I could be honest with VOX, though. We share so much with them, and they support us so fiercely, it feels wrong to leave out something that should be celebrated. But I know that is not how it works.”
I bow my head to drop a kiss in his hair. “I think they’d be happy for you.”
“Many would be, I think. Not all. But enough, probably,” he says, quietly, then shifts to prop himself up on his elbows. “I am used to hiding the things I am not supposed to let anyone see. And that is fine. But you are such a good thing in my life. I feel like I should not have to keep the good things secret.”
I roll onto my side so we can face each other. “Maybe it’s not fair or right that you’re being asked to do that, but maybe it’s not such a bad thing either. You give a lot to your fans, but you don’t have to give them everything. You are allowed to keep things to yourself.”
“I know. I think I feel selfish wanting you all to myself,” he smiles, bashful, and I have to kiss him.
“I’m yours, naekkeo. What we have is ours.” I need him to know that I don’t care about the secrets or the fans or the company. “You and me.”
“You and me,” he repeats. “Just Jase and Nikko.”