Chapter 20
Delaney
It was the middle of the day, and I was staring at my ceiling, thinking about Cole. When I saw him the other day and he placed his hand on my shoulder, it took everything in me to not crumble right then and beg him to forgive me for being such a jerk. Had we fucked up? Yes, but it didn’t warrant me just throwing him away. I threw him away. I threw us away. Things were so great between us, and he’d been rooted in our lives like he was always there.
I’d really made a mess of things and I was too embarrassed to ask him to forgive me and just make things go back to normal.
The house was so quiet. Amaryllis had gone with my mama. She was begging to go to the bookstore and my mama loves going so she took her. I’m certain they were having a great time together because I hadn’t heard anything from them. I wasn’t exactly the best company.
I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to make yet another cup of coffee. I was surviving the day on coffee and naps. It hadn’t helped that my period was full on. All of my emotions were a complete mess, but hey, having my period meant I wasn’t pregnant so that was my glass half full moment. Everything else sucked.
I knew what Cole was doing the day I saw him. He was sizing up Andy. He probably thought we were dating, and the thought makes me laugh because Andy didn’t even come close to Cole. Cole was everything. He was perfect.
My phone buzzed with a text from Amber.
Are you awake? Have you taken a shower? Have you eaten?
Apparently, everyone thought I was letting myself go.
I’m fine. Been lazy all day but drinking my 35th cup of coffee. Haven’t had any water but it’s fine, everything’s fine. And no, I haven’t showered. What for? It’s not like I have a boyfriend that’s gonna smell me.
I hit send and gave it a take that toss onto the counter. If everyone was going to be dramatic then so was I. As I left the kitchen to head for the stairs to go back to my bed, the doorbell rang. Opening the door, it was the only one who could get away with just showing up.
“Hey bitch. No sulking allowed. I’m here to make sure you drink water and take a bath.” Amber was literally sitting outside when she texted me. She was a really great friend. Annoying but great.
“You’re unbelievable.” I rolled my eyes and walked away. “Come in.”
She stepped in, closing the door behind her. “Good afternoon to you too, sunshine. How long are you going to live in this misery? Want me to call, Cole?”
I spun around. “Don’t you dare. Besides, he probably wouldn’t even talk to me. I’m such a fucking dick, again.”
She nodded. “You’re not wrong.”
“Shush. You aren’t supposed to agree with me.” I waved her off.
“Alright enough of this shit. Go shower and get dressed. We are getting out of the house today. Where’s Amaryllis?”
“She’s with mom.” I said to her.
“Ok, good. Go. Upstairs, now!” She had basically shoved me toward the stairs to get cleaned up. Going anywhere was the last thing I wanted to do but I was willing to for her.
***
When I went downstairs after getting ready, I overheard Amber talking. “Yeah…um. Ok, she’s in the shower but I’ll go get her right now…. Ok. Bye.”
“What’s going on?” I said making her jump and turn around. “Get me for what?” Amber looked ghostly.
“Um…Amaryllis is missing.” And that’s when I felt my heart beat so fast and loud. The beating was loud in my ears and Amber was talking but I didn’t hear a word she said. I felt like I was going to pass out and I must’ve looked it too because Amber ran up to me and held me up. “Delaney…hey come on. We have to go.”
In that moment, I thought of my little girl and the moment she was born and every day after. She was mine. I carried her for nine months. I was there for every bad dream and every triumph in her short life. She was mine.
“Delaney, come on. We need to get to your mom.” I grabbed my purse and keys and followed Amber out of the front door.
***
Arriving at the bookstore, I basically jumped out of the car before Amber could even fully stop and put it into park. There were police cars everywhere. I ran up to the front door but was stopped by some young cop. I had to yell, “The girl missing is my daughter,” in his face before he finally stepped aside.
When I got inside my mom was sitting in a chair, holding tissue, and talking to an officer who was kneeled down in front of her taking notes. When she looked up and noticed me, she started crying harder as I approached her. “Oh Delaney. I’m so sorry. We were looking in the children’s section and I turned my back for two seconds to grab a new puzzle for us to put together later.” She was crying even harder.
“Mama, finish. Tell me what happened.” I said to her.
“She was looking for The Secret Garden. She was going on and on about how she and Cole were planning a dance and so she wanted the book too.” My heart was breaking. “The kids’ section isn’t that big, Delaney. It’s not. The puzzles were only a few feet away. When I went back to where she was, she was gone. I was calling her name. I went up and down the few little aisles calling for her and nothing. I went and looked in the bathroom and she wasn’t there either. So, I went up to the front and had them page her. She never came. We’ve searched everywhere. They closed the store…”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My baby girl wasn’t in the store. She wasn’t anywhere.
“Delaney Anderson…” A cop walked toward me. I looked up at him but said nothing as I chewed my thumb nail. “Can you give us a full description of Amaryllis and what she was wearing today. We just want to make sure between your description and your mothers that we have our basis covered to put out a missing child alert.”
A missing child alert. They were going to put out a missing child alert. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I doubled over and put my hands on my knees trying to get some air in my lungs and regulate my breathing. Amber rushed to me again and held me. “Breathe, Delaney. Just breathe.”
Pulling myself together, I managed to rattle off everything they needed to know about Amaryllis before they finally released us to go home. It felt surreal to leave the bookstore without my daughter and still not know where she was.
My dad picked up my mom and they came to my house along with Amber. Every thought imaginable ran through my head. What if Miller had her? What if a complete stranger had her? It hadn’t made sense. She knew better than to go anywhere with a stranger and she absolutely wouldn’t go with her dad. That was clear from the moment she had the school call Cole.
I went up to Amaryllis’ room and sat on her bed. Her bed covered in stuffies. Grabbing one, I brought it to my nose. It smelled like her. Where was she? That’s all I kept asking myself.
Amber came in and sat next to me. “They’ll find her, babe. Have you called Cole? Do you want me to call him?”
“I um…I don’t know. Should I? We haven’t talked in weeks.” Saying that out loud made me cry even harder.
“He loves her. He loves her like she’s his. I think he would be devastated to learn she’s missing and knew nothing about it.” She was right.
“I’ll…I’ll call him. I’ll do it now.” I picked up my phone and dialed Coles number, holding my breath until he answered.
Hello. His voice sounded amazing, and it made it hard to speak because tears came even heavier. “Laney, baby. What’s the matter? Talk to me.” Of course, he was being so kind still. After everything.
I couldn’t talk so I handed the phone to Amber. “Cole, it’s Amber. Delaney can’t stop crying. No…she’s… she’s ok but…Amaryllis is missing.” I listened as she went into the when, where, and how of it all. “OK. Thanks, Cole. Keep us posted. We will be here.” She hung up and looked at me. “He’s going to get the guys and go out looking for her.”
“Where? Where will he look? How do you even begin to look for a little girl? This is my worst nightmare, Amber.” I leaned into her and sobbed. I cried and cried until I felt myself getting tired. I finally laid down in Amaryllis’ bed, cuddled her stuffies, and took something to help calm me down.
“Sleep, my friend. I’ll come get you if we hear anything.” That was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.