Chapter 36 #2
I slide my hand down to wrap around his neck, bringing my mouth closer to hover next to his and share a breath or two. “You’re not getting rid of me.” I kiss the corner of his mouth.
“Promise,” he says.
“I swear,” I whisper, kissing a line up his cheekbone.
His ragged exhalation hits my throat, and I shiver. “It’s not that I don’t want him,” Deacon says. “I don’t know what he told you, but I do…I’m just…scared…”
“Scared?”
“Of losing you.”
That’s what he’s afraid of? Is that what started all this? I should have said more while he was still in the kitchen. Deflected some of the blame he was heaping onto Evan. “You won’t.”
“Even if he’s done with this?”
The thought of that breaks my fucking heart. I lean my body against Deacon, tilting his face to see him better. “You’re mine. I meant that.”
He moves one hand between our bodies, over my stiffening cock, and the other down my back. “Are you sure this is what you want? This mess?”
“Yes. All of it,” I tell him.
“Then I need your help. I need you to show me what loving him looks like.”
I can’t tell which I’m more of a simp for. Deacon’s strength or his vulnerability. I press my hips forward, his touch lighting the usual fire inside me. “Whatever you need. I’m not letting either of you go.”
His forehead crashes against mine, and I press my mouth roughly to his, stealing a deep kiss. “Don’t do this,” Deacon murmurs against my lips. “He’ll hate me for this.”
He’s right. My cock is so fucking hard, though. I stop kissing him, but jerk him toward me, rubbing our cocks together through our pants, fighting the urge to touch every inch of his body. “No one could ever hate you.”
He shakes his head. “I think you’ve got that wrong.”
“I couldn’t,” I insist. “And he couldn’t either.”
“I hope that’s true.”
“It’s a fact.” I run my hands up his sculpted chest, needing to reassure him in the only way I know for sure he understands. “You know, he told me to come in here. He said you needed me.”
“I do,” he says quietly, his fingers sliding down my arms.
“So where do you need me?”
“Inside me. Please,” he says without any more hesitation.
I flip him around and walk him toward the bed. I pull his pants down and rub my clothed cock on his naked ass. Deacon is all muscle under smooth skin. He’s ridges and dips and two firm mounds of flesh begging to be touched and fucked and used.
I kiss my way down his back, dropping to my knees to part his cheeks.
“I—” he begins to protest. I lick a stripe up his hole.
“Fuck,” he groans, giving in like I knew he would.
We share a wavelength, him and me. I spit on him before pressing my lips against his rim.
His thighs part, quivering, and I glimpse his fingers beneath his sac, gathering up his balls, touching himself.
With the flat of my tongue, I lick his hole again and again, pressing open mouthed kisses to him as I squeeze his ass hard in my hands.
The taste of him makes me fucking feral—darkly masculine and clean.
He’s obviously prepped, and I don’t know why that makes my dick throb even harder, but it does.
I’m having trouble not soaking him with drool.
When he opens for me, I’m ready. My tongue slides in, and I bury my face between his cheeks. I eat him the fuck out until he’s panting, and I can’t breathe. Pulling away, I slap his ass as I’m wiping my chin.
“Get on the bed,” I say.
He pushes his pants off and offers a hand to me. I take it. Once I’m standing, I walk him there myself.
He lies on his side and watches while I undress. I can’t take my eyes off him either as he leisurely strokes himself, looking like a goddamn dream. His thick length is rigid in his fist, and his eyes are hooded. He’s not looking at my face.
“I shouldn’t have left like that,” he says. “I lost control.”
I pick up the lube from his nightstand and flip the cap. “You shouldn’t have. But I’ll straighten you out.”
“Mmm…” he moans. “Evan should be here.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
He makes a pained noise, nods, and sits up. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to stay if it’s gonna cause more problems.”
“My balls are a little blue,” I say as I grab my underwear from the floor where I dropped them in my haste to forget everything for a few minutes. “Give me just a sec. If you want to be alone, I can–”
He pulls up the sheet to cover half his naked body. “That didn’t mean I wanted you to go. I honestly never want you to go.”
I reach out and push some of his sweaty hair away from his face. He’s so beautiful. Head to toe. Outside and in. “You’re way too easy to fall for.”
“So are you.”
I blink. I wasn’t expecting that. “Maybe we’re just that right for each other.”
He nods. “I think so.”
“It’s really good hearing you say shit like that,” I tell him.
I can’t imagine anything worse than being made to choose between him and Evan, but that first weekend before Evan knew Deacon and I had met, I did see myself choosing this.
I remember thinking Deacon could be the right guy for me. Finally.
There’s a sense of security in his arms I’ve never felt before.
He makes me want to fight for him as hard as he’s fighting to keep me.
This whole sexy caretaking thing he’s got going on?
Absolutely a new kink. I always thought that was my job, but it’s nice to be the one on the receiving end now and then.
I lower myself onto the bed to hug him tight.
I’m worried as fuck about Evan, but I want to give this moment to Deacon because he’s given so much to me.
“Who hired you anyway?” I ask.
“Jeff.”
“Jeff? I might have to give him a raise.”
That finally teases a smile out of him on this rough night.
I kiss it as soon as I see it. “If I can get him in here, can we all talk?”
Deacon nods.
“Because I have some things I need to say to both of you.”
“Just be patient with me,” Deacon says.
“Always.” I stand and pull on my pants and shirt. “Wish me luck.”
“Maybe I should come with you.”
I touch his face. “I’ll let you know when the coast is clear.”
He nods.
Evan isn’t in his room, and when I check the kitchen, I find a note on the counter.
At Sam’s. I’ll be home later.
–Evan
I take the note with me to Deacon’s room and show him.
“I think I might have really fucked this up, Isaac.”
I study the short note again. “Let’s just give him some time. Can I hold you?”
“Yeah.”
I take my pants and shirt back off. We arrange ourselves in bed, chest to chest, and hold each other while we wait.