Chapter 12
Elena
Several weeks had passed, and I found myself more and more often at the Niessens’ house.
It was still strange to be in a house where people talked to each other, but it was a kind of strangeness I was beginning to associate with my everyday life.
A daily routine that I cherished far more than I dared admit.
If only I had known how fragile this new normal was.
I was scrolling on Alex's phone, looking for movie ideas on his Disney+ account, when a message from Tiago popped up. I tried to swipe away the message, ending up opening the inbox unintentionally.
“Oh shit!”
I wanted to close the messages, but the content caught my eye.
Tiago: There's a party, are you coming tonight?
Alex: Some other time
Tiago: I convinced Melissa to come
Alex: Okay, just let me cancel my plans
Tiago: See you
Disappointment washed over me. What an idiot I'd been to think Alex wanted to spend time with me for real.
As if he, Alex Niessen, the flirt and the heartthrob, wanted us to be friends.
I'd fallen for it like the fool I was. I should have learned my lesson, that it was too good to be true.
I was never anyone's first choice. I wasn't even a second choice—I was just needlessly filling space.
What an idiot! I felt my eyes prickle, tears about to escape.
It seemed my heart was just made to be broken, over and over again, never giving me time to pick up the pieces.
I grabbed my things and got up to leave the room when Alex walked in.
“Where are you going?” asked the stranger in front of me.
Because deep down, that was all he was. I lowered my eyes. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. He didn't need to know I was broken. Hell, he didn't need to know he was the one who had broken me this time.
“I'm going home. Where else would I go?”
My tone was more biting than I'd intended. I could no longer keep my emotions in check. I had to get out of here before I collapsed.
“We were going to work on our physics project.”
“I'll send you my part.”
“You suck at physics.”
“I'll manage.”
Every time I moved towards the door, Alex blocked my path. “Why are you suddenly trying to run away from me?”
I hoped he would let me go, and that I'd never have to see him again. “You were going to find a way to get rid of me tonight anyway, so I'd better go.”
“How do you know that?”
So he wasn't even trying to deny it. That hurt. I took a breath, trying to keep the tears at bay, and lifted my head toward him. I handed him back his phone and knew I was in for a rough time if I didn't leave now.
A dangerous gleam danced in Alex's eyes. “You really can't stop digging, even when I tell you not to.”
His voice was deeper than usual, his tone more than accusatory. As much as I wanted to be as far away from him as possible, I couldn't let him walk all over me. All my life, people had stepped on me, forgetting that I was a human being like any other. I'd had enough.
“It was an accident. I didn't want to see the message.”
“Stop lying!”
He was accusing me of lying when he had intended to abandon me with a lame excuse? I felt like murder. Except I wasn't the only one about to explode.
“You're a hypocrite, Elena. You always pretend to be understanding, but the truth is you're just like everyone else. You don't respect other people's privacy.”
Without realizing what I was doing, I slapped him across the face. Alex was unable to react, caught off guard. My palm throbbed, but I ignored it.
“And when did you ever respect mine?” I burst into tears. “You never gave me a choice; you never asked me for anything. You're an asshole and a liar, and I never want to see you again!”
This wasn't fair. Why was I just an object to everyone? For the first time, I was finally seeing Alex's true face, and I hated it. I had to leave.
“Fucking hell!” shouted Alex.
Cold fear made my body turn to stone. More than ever, I hoped to disappear for good.
***
Alex
“Fucking hell!” shouted Alex, beside himself.
In a fit of rage, he struck the wall. Alex felt the pain in his hand but ignored it.
He turned back to Elena to tell her a piece of his mind.
His heart sank when he saw her petrified.
Her eyes wide open, Elena was frozen in fear.
His anger went up in smoke, and guilt took over.
She wasn't like the others. Elena had a history of violence in her own home.
Without thinking, Alex had become the kind of person who had traumatized her all these years.
“Hey, it's just me.”
He took a step towards her, waking her from her torpor.
Elena took a few steps back, putting as much distance between herself and him as possible.
Alex felt sadness wash over him. How could he have lost his temper with her?
Elena's back hit the wall. Realizing she was trapped, she slid to the floor and hid her face.
Her whole body trembled as if it already knew what was going to happen.
Alex slowly approached and sat down opposite her.
He put his hand on Elena's arm, only for her body to shake harder.
Not knowing what to do, Alex removed her arms from her eyes so he could see her face.
“Lena, please, look at me.”
Elena tugged at her arms, trying to pull away from Alex, but he didn’t let go. He'd be unable to live with himself if she hated him.
“Please,” he implored.
Elena looked up. Her cheeks were streaked with tears, her gaze panicked. “Please don't hurt me.”
His heart broke as he heard her speak. “I could never hurt you.” Alex wiped her cheeks, trying to be as delicate as possible.
He moved beside her and beckoned her closer.
Elena hesitated, and Alex found himself begging her with his eyes.
He wouldn't be able to watch himself in a mirror if she started seeing him as a monster. Please, not you.
Elena finally moved closer and accepted his embrace.
“I'm sorry I scared you. I know you may not believe me, but I would never lay a hand on you.”
He had hoped that touching her would calm her down, but her body kept shaking. Because of him. What had he done?
“I'm scared, Alex.”
“I know. I won't do it again.”
“You don’t want to hit me?”
“I was never going to hit you.”
Elena pursed her lips, unconvinced.
“I've never hit a woman, and I never will. I have a certain code, you know.”
Elena smiled at him, even though her lip was still wobbling, and Alex felt as though he could breathe again. At least a little.
“Your hand is bleeding.”
“Shit.”