Chapter 13
Alex
A few days later, Alex dropped by Elena’s to work on the project.
She had said everything was fine, still her gaze was unfocused.
Since Alex had lost his temper, it had become impossible to talk to her.
Once he'd calmed down, Elena went home. Even though she had put on a small smile, he understood that she needed some distance.
Few people wanted to keep Alex around once they'd seen that part of him.
He just hoped that, unlike the others, Elena would still want him around.
“Do you need help with your part?”
“I'm done.”
“The weather is nice. Shall we go get ice cream?”
“No, you can go,” she replied, her voice distant.
“How much longer are you going to stay mad?”
Her eyebrows furrowed, her gaze turning icy.
Alex had been used to her cold stares, but this was different.
She no longer trusted him; he could no longer reach her.
If she'd put walls around her heart in the past, this time she was prepared, and Alex wouldn't be able to get through them.
He knew he'd screwed up. He’d thought he'd made things right the last time, but now that Elena was thinking clearly, she didn't seem to want him anymore.
He hadn't expected her rejection to sting so much, but it did.
She was too lovely, and if he'd promised himself he wouldn't let her get too close, she'd found a way into his life.
Now that she was leaving, he didn't want her to.
He had to make it up to her. Alex left the Fleureau house with a heavy heart.
Although Elena was a pain in the ass, he'd come to care about her and enjoy spending time together.
Now that it might be over, he felt empty and alone.
Maybe he should have been honest with her and with himself.
Alex had tried so hard to be her friend, but he'd never let her get close enough for her to become his.
That had been a mistake. And he was going to fix it.
He just hoped that now that she'd seen what was under his mask, she wouldn't let him go.
***
“Are you sure this is what she needs?”
“You don’t like it?” asked Alex, looking at his sister, then at the stuffed toy.
Audrey raised an eyebrow, unconvinced by Alex's choice.
He was holding a white unicorn with a pink and purple holographic mane.
When he pressed its stomach, it played a little country tune.
It was ridiculous; it was exactly what Elena needed.
When they were in elementary school, she'd loved horses.
Alex hoped that by playing the sentimental, nostalgic card, she'd be less reluctant to see him again.
“Are you certain you're trying to make amends here?”
“Who knows?”
Alex had spent the week looking for a gift that would please her, even if what he'd planned had cost him an arm and a leg. He had to prove to her that he cared.
Arriving at Elena's house, he knocked on her door, hiding the stuffed toy behind him. Elena looked up from her book, surprised to see him. She immediately noticed that he was hiding something.
Elena raised her eyebrows. “You didn't tell me you were coming.” Her voice was deeper than usual.
Alex shrugged. “I like to improvise.”
Elena didn't flinch. She waited for Alex to say what he had to say, then for him to leave. He saw it on her face. She had no desire to be in the same room as him. It hurt, but Alex carried on. He couldn't afford to screw up now if he wanted to reclaim his place in her heart.
“I brought you a present.”
Without giving her time to reply, he handed her the unicorn with its large, glittering eyes.
Elena took the plushie with a wary grimace. “Is there a bomb inside?”
Alex rolled his eyes. She was as dramatic as usual, which was a good sign. At least, he hoped it was.
“Thanks, I guess.”
Alex took two tickets out of his pocket and handed them to her.
Elena hesitated for a moment. “What is it?”
“Two tickets for the Nutcracker ballet at Bozar.”
She stared at the tickets without answering. She wanted to take the tickets, but resisted the temptation. Elena finally shook her head. “That's kind, but I can't accept a gift like that.”
Not from you was what she meant. He decided to change tactics. Maybe trying to convince wouldn't work.
“The show is this Friday, and starts at six. Be ready at five. I'll pick you up.”
Without waiting for her reply, he left the room and returned to his car.
Once settled in the Polo, he let his head fall back with a sigh.
The whole forgiveness thing was a lot harder than he'd anticipated, but Alex wasn't going to give up.
He wasn't going to let her go, not if there was still a chance she could forgive him. Alex clung to that small hope.
***
Against all the odds, Elena was ready when he came to pick her up.
Surrounded by soft makeup, her blue eyes were even more intense.
She waited for him on the porch of her house.
All the way there, she remained silent. Out of the corner of his eye, Alex could see her playing nervously with her fingers.
She was still afraid of him. He wanted to take her hands and tell her everything would be all right, that she'd never have to see that part of him again, but Alex couldn't make such a promise.
He'd started spiralling too soon; he didn't know how to be normal anymore.
Alex tried to talk about anything and everything, but just like a few days ago, he was facing a wall.
During the show, her eyes sparkled. She watched each dance move with great attention. When the show was over, Elena finally turned to him. She still wasn’t looking him in the eye, but it was a start. And it was everything he'd hoped for.
“Thank you for tonight. It was lovely.”
Elena smiled at him for the first time in days. Even if her smile was merely polite, Alex considered it a victory. He just had to persevere.
“Are you hungry? We can grab a bite.”
“I'm not hungry.” As she spoke, her stomach rumbled. Elena rolled her eyes. It was almost convincing.
Alex chuckled.
“Well, obviously I'm hungry. But I'll eat when I get home.”
She really wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.
She continued to be stubborn, so Alex decided to take the bull by the horns.
It seemed to work best. He grabbed her hand and headed for the shopping street.
At least she wasn't protesting. Maybe Alex was being too insistent, but he had to talk to her.
He had to apologize. If, after that, she still didn't want him back, he'd accept her choice. Only then.
“Do you like fast food?”
“It's all right.”
They entered a Burger King. Waiting for their order to arrive, they sat down in a corner of the restaurant. Alex tried to lighten the mood.
“I'm sorry, but I can't afford to take you to a five-star restaurant.”
Unlike what he expected, she smiled, and this time, it was genuine. “You should have told me. I could have paid for the food.”
“The whole purpose of this day was to make amends. Letting you pay for anything is out of the question.”
“So you're trying to buy my forgiveness.”
Elena crossed her arms, her eyes now stern.
It was as if she had a switch that could turn her heart to ice in less than a second.
Was this a typical girl thing? Or was it an Elena thing?
Despite her looking like an angry puppy, her quick wit and touchiness kept him on his toes.
One wrong move and the puppy would turn into a rabid dog.
“Yes. No!”
Alex ran a hand through his hair, sighing. He seemed to do everything wrong when it came to her. Why did she always see evil everywhere? Alex took the grunt. If he wanted her to let him back in, he needed to work hard. Her jaw clenched. Any trace of good humour, fragile as it was, was gone.
“Why does my forgiveness mean so much to you?”
“I don't want to leave things the way they are since...” He gestured nervously with his hands, not knowing what to call it. Everything that could go wrong that day had gone wrong.
“I'm not a charity case,” she said harshly. “You don't have to try so hard to clear your conscience. I'll get over it. You can go back to your little life.”
Elena was ready to move on, which disempowered him.
Alex had become used to knowing she didn't find it easy to move on.
Yet, since she'd started working on herself during therapy, she no longer hesitated to sort things out in her life.
Including him. Alex hadn't been as honest about the whole friendship thing as he should have been, and seeing her ready to move on so quickly stung more than he cared to admit.
“You really don't understand, do you?”
She kept her eyes on her cup while she fiddled with the wrapper of her straw.
He couldn't work out what she was thinking.
Everything so clear to him was an enigma to her.
But that was partly his fault. If he hadn't tried to stop her from seeing who he really was, things might have ended differently.
“If I'm trying to make amends, it’s not to have a clear conscience. I want to be able to spend time with you again without your hands trembling every time I come near you. Lena, I'm truly sorry for the way I've behaved towards you.”
She finally looked up. Her blue eyes shone with unshed tears. “Why would you want to spend your time with me?”
“I like your company, that's all.”
Because of all the emotional abuse, Elena was the kind of person who needed regular reassurance.
On top of that, now that she'd made up her mind to get on with her life, Alex was going to have to hang on if he wanted her to keep him around.
Alex didn't know if he'd be up to the task, but he wanted to try.
When they were on the same wavelength, there was something that made their friendship special.
He missed those carefree moments with her.
When they were together, they weren't that angry guy and that traumatized girl, just Elena and Alex.
And he blamed himself for shattering that.
“So, do you forgive me?”
She pretended to think. “That depends. Can I keep Neighomi?”
“Who?”
“The unicorn.”
“Of course. It was a gift.”