Chapter 17
Elena
A too-sweet show was on TV, but neither Alex nor I had the courage to change it. Alex sighed.
“These cliché movies are ridiculous. And let's not even talk about the stupid nicknames they give each other.”
“Some of them are cute.”
It was true that some couples’ nicknames were really ridiculous. Those like “my love” or “darling”, I found rather endearing. Alex gave me a sidelong glance. He was so judging me.
“I can call you my little Snuggle Bug if you like.”
I laughed. Sometimes I wondered where he got his weird ideas from, no matter how entertaining they were. “Are you serious?”
“Perhaps you prefer Moon of my life?”
I watched him in silence. It was indeed a nickname I'd prefer to “honey bunny” or some other vomit-inducing nonsense.
Alex frowned at my lack of response. “You don't have the reference...”
For a brief moment, I wondered. Did I really want to come across as such a nerd?
This was Alex. As much as I wanted to impress him, he already knew me too well.
So I decided to play along. Even though I was going to look like the biggest geek of all time.
To hell with my dignity. “Shekh ma shieraki anni.”
Alex let out a cry of victory. I burst out laughing, seeing him so proud. It was only a Game of Thrones line, but his eyes sparkled with pleasure.
“I knew it. You are the woman of my life!”
My mouth fell agape. Someone had to tell him not to play with my heartstrings like that. Alex rolled his eyes at the look on my face, a childish smile on his lips.
“Don't take it so seriously. I was only joking.”
If only you really meant it... Instead of continuing to watch the show that was on, Alex put on the first season of Game of Thrones.
After a few episodes, my eyelids grew heavy.
I rested my head against his chest and inhaled his perfume.
His scent had become so familiar that it enveloped me in a cocoon.
Alex put his arms around my shoulders to pull me closer.
At times like this, I felt like I was right where I belonged.
The show long forgotten, I closed my eyes and drifted off.
Suddenly, Alex's heartbeat spiked, and he tensed up like a bow. I moved back to see what was happening, but Alex was already standing up. His gaze resembled that of a wild animal, making my own heart rate climb.
What was happening to him? “Are you okay?”
Staring into space, he didn’t hear me. The moment I touched his arm, he snapped out of his trance and took a step back, putting as much distance between us as possible.
“Alex, what’s wrong?”
“I just remembered I have something urgent to do. I’ll call you later.”
Without giving me time to answer, Alex grabbed his coat and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.
***
In full panic mode, I spent my time pacing back and forth in my room.
Why was it that every time things were going well between us, Alex slipped through my fingers?
Did I expect too much from him? Maybe our kiss had scared him off?
Maybe he thought I was too clingy? Too dependent?
The more I thought about it, the more I was overwhelmed by scenarios, each more negative than the last. And Alex hadn't returned my calls since he'd left that afternoon, which only added to my poor mental state.
I couldn't stand being in the dark any longer, so I called his sister.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it's Lena. Can you do me a favour?”
“Sure?”
“Tell your brother to answer my calls, or I'll gut him.”
The silence at the other end of the line made my palms sweaty.
“Isn’t Alex at your place?”
Realizing what was happening, I tried to save the situation the best I could. I couldn't worry his family until I was sure.
“Oh! He must have gone to the convenience store.”
I hung up and started pacing again. My fear only increased. What had happened to make Alex leave like that? He was avoiding me, and I couldn't help feeling guilty, though I had no idea why. Had I said or done something to upset him? Why would he run away like that?
***
It was past eleven when the ringing of my phone pulled me out of the negative whirlwind my thoughts had become. Alex's name appeared on the screen, and my pulse quickened. My nerves were eating me up.
“Lenaaaa,” Alex sang on the other end of the line.
“Damn it, Alex! Where the hell are you?”
“I miss you.”
My breath caught in my throat. I recognized that way of articulating. Frank often spoke with such a heavy tongue. “Are you drunk?”
“Just a little.”
Alex was completely wasted. I just didn't know if it was only alcohol or worse. What had happened?
“Don't you miss me?”
“Alex, where are you?” I asked impatiently.
“At a party. I'll come back to your place.”
I leapt to my feet and grabbed my shoes and bag. There was no way I was letting him hit the road while he had booze in his system. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything happened. “Don't. I'll come and get you. Give me the address.”
“Okay.”
The bus ride seemed to take forever. What was he doing on the other side of town at such an hour?
Actually, I knew. I just couldn't figure out why.
I thought everything was fine between us, but apparently, I had been the only one.
Just like a few months earlier, Alex had been about to leave me to party elsewhere too.
I felt torn between sadness and anger. I'd been really stupid to believe he cared about me, and that he'd changed.
Just when I'd thought we'd made some progress, here we were back at square one. Again.
A girl named Melissa opened the door. If I took into account the disgust my presence evoked in her, I wasn't exactly welcome here.
“I'm here for Alex.”
“Why?”
“Because he asked me to.”
For some reason, she didn't feel like letting me through, so I pushed her aside and went into the house. I really wasn't in the mood, and if I had to hit her with a vase to get her to move, then so be it.
Alex was slumped on the sofa in a position that couldn't be comfortable.
He opened his bloodshot eyes and grinned, floating on a cloud of artificial bliss.
Alex had never been this happy to see me while sober.
I wasn't too sure what that meant. I followed him as he staggered to the door. If he falls, I won't pick him up.
“Give me your keys. I'll drive.”
Despite the alcohol clouding his senses, Alex shook his head. “You don't have your license yet.”
As he approached, the smell of weed tickled my nostrils, and I winced. Great. Our relationship really had taken ten steps backward.
“And you're high and drunk. So you're not driving either.”
Without giving him time to react, I took the keys out of his hand.
I prayed we wouldn't run into any cops on the road, or we'd both be in serious trouble.
I helped Alex put on his seatbelt, and for a second, I considered strangling him with it.
I started the Polo. Alex rested his head against the window.
“You're driving too harsh,” my friend muttered.
“If you hadn't drunk so much, I wouldn't have even needed to drive at all!”
Feeling that I was about to explode, I decided to concentrate on the road and ignore him. I was so angry with him that I would have rammed him.
“You're angry.”
Wow, how perceptive.
“I'm not angry.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I'm not. I'm absolutely furious! What you did was selfish and stupid.”
I glared at him, and Alex lowered his eyes. That's right, be ashamed. It wasn't in his nature to be so docile.
He remained silent for the rest of the journey. I parked Alex's car in front of his house before getting out. Audrey opened the front door, surprised to see me get out of her brother's car. She was already in her pyjamas. Alex staggered out of the car.
Still ready to commit murder, I pushed him inside.
“What happened?”
“Your brother's an idiot! That's what happened.”
Alex stumbled down the stairs while I was seething on the inside. My already limited patience seemed to have completely disappeared. “Drunk people piss me off,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose.
At least, unlike my asshole of a father, Alex was just in a good mood when he'd had too much to drink.
He didn't turn into an aggressive jerk who wanted to punch everything that moved, which was an improvement compared to when he was sober.
Maybe that's why he always drank so much at parties.
Audrey and I followed him back to his room.
Alex dropped onto his bed, and his sister gave me a worried look.
“I'll explain when I'm done with him.”
The girl nodded. Poor kid. Hopefully, this didn't happen too often.
“Are you staying over?”
I glanced at my watch. It was already past one in the morning. No more buses were running at this hour, so I nodded. The only thing I'd wanted was to spend a quiet day, and it had turned into a total disaster.
“Okay, you can sleep with me.”
Audrey left the room, closing the door behind her. I turned back to Alex, whose eyes were shut. I poked his leg with my foot to get his attention.
“Oi, Alex, you're not going to sleep just yet.”
He gave me a smile. If he had the slightest idea of what I was thinking, he'd swallow his smile down.
I helped him take off his jacket and noticed a purple mark decorating his neck.
My heart clenched, nausea roiling in my stomach.
Had Alex really run away from me to drink and fuck around?
Was it Melissa? I didn't expect our kiss to mean much to him, but I’d hoped for a bit more respect than this.
Was I really worth so little to him? My eyes burned.
With a jerk, I took off his shoes and threw them on the floor.
I wanted to scream or cry, whichever came first.
“You're super hot when you're angry.”
And now he’s rambling.
“Want to see something sexier?”
“What?”
“My fist in your face!”
“There's no point. He's even more stupid when he's drunk.” Audrey was back with a glass of water and a bucket. She was right.