21. Leo
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
As I walk outside of the building, I see Aria getting into her car. She was in a better mood today. All of her issues with landing a triple Axel seem to have vanished. She skated well today—flawlessly, really. It feels like I’m always in awe of her. I’m completely captivated by her beauty on and off the ice. I’ve never witnessed someone quite as graceful as she is. I’m simply caught in Aria Reed’s orbit.
After she told me her thoughts on our performance, we made some adjustments and worked through the kinks. I don’t know how many times we went through the routine today until it felt like we had it right. It’s absolutely perfect. We removed a few things Delaney and I had decided on together. Not much changed, but there are some very noticeable differences and some grand features we’ve added in.
It isn't completely different, but it's ours.
The performance and the routine belongs to no one other than Aria and I. I know it brings her peace of mind, but I like it. There's something about it never being done by anyone but the two of us that makes me feel something deep inside. It's an unfamiliar feeling. It's comforting and simultaneously exhilarating. Her in my arms as we move around the rink just feels… right.
She makes me feel more alive than I ever thought was possible.
I stop by the trunk of my car and load my things into it as I watch her pull out of her parking space. She didn't see me when she came out of the locker room with some of the other girls. I caught the tail end of her conversation, but it was all I needed to hear.
She has plans to go get dinner with Griffin.
My lungs deflate in defeat. I ruined their last date, so she's giving him another chance. I have no one to blame but myself. I've been such an asshole to her, I shouldn't blame her for wanting to spend time with someone who isn't me. I don’t want a relationship or a commitment. I shouldn’t even care.
I want her to feel secure and safe with me. I don't want to come off as a threat to her anymore. We've crossed so many lines, everything is so goddamn blurry, but I don't want any of that to come between us or our partnership.
Keeping her at arm’s length feels wrong, but I know I can't let her get close. My resolve has broken completely. If I let her in, I won't ever let her out. She's forever etched into my memories already. The sounds of her moans, the feeling of her skin. Aria Reed is under my skin and I've given up trying to figure out how to get her out. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm terrified of her. I'm terrified of the things she makes me feel. She has me questioning everything in life. She has me fucked up and I'm struggling to conceal it anymore.
She's the one who has always been a threat… I just didn't realize it until now.
She's out for my heart.
And I just might give it to her.
None of that really matters right now. Not when she's going out with another man. As much as I want to follow her and tell her she's making a mistake, I know I can't. I have to show her I'm not the asshole I've pretended to be. The things in the past—they don't matter anymore. I can let bygones be bygones and move on. There's no reason to hate her. We've both grown as people. We've grown up and have started to grow together.
I want to be a part of that. I don't want to sit on the sidelines and watch her anymore.
It's not right for me to interfere in her life, and I'm here for her whenever she needs me. There will never be strings attached. My feelings for her are no longer conditional. If Aria decides she wants nothing to do with me, I will never fault her for that. I might not like it, but that's her choice. I have no control over that. All I can do is treat her better, make her feel respected, and let her know that I care about her. Being cold to her wasn't beneficial to anyone. If anything, it was causing more of a strain between us. It was being harmful more than it was being helpful.
Griffin doesn't deserve her. I don't deserve her. If I think about it, I don't know that there is anyone who truly does. I hope she will one day see that he isn't the man she thinks he is. She doesn't know the measures he took to try to sabotage me when we were younger. Thankfully the allegations he made were never brought to light. No one that we skated with ever knew what was going on behind closed doors. When we were in high school, I beat him in a competition. He was livid and decided to retaliate. He went to the judges and claimed I was doing drugs. They launched an investigation and I wasn't allowed to skate until they cleared things.
It was all a lie, and they knew as soon as I took the drug test that came back clean. That only pissed Griffin off even more. He was at the rink the one night Aria and I skated together. We thought no one else was there, but when we were getting off the ice, I saw Griffin sneaking out of the building. The next Monday at school, he made a comment about how we looked together.
It wasn’t long after that when I saw him walking around the school with Aria on his arm.
Griffin knew exactly what he was doing then and he knows what he’s doing now. I warned her about him, and I don’t know what else I can do without it feeling like I’m crossing a boundary. It’s up to Aria to decide what happens now. I know if I see him again with her, it’s not going to end well, so it’s better if I keep my distance…
For now.
My drive home is extremely uneventful and I pull into my garage before shutting the door behind me. I slip inside the house and it’s as quiet as it always is. Though it’s far too big for one person, the location is amazing. I walk through the house until I’m stepping through the glass French doors that lead to the back deck. It’s right along the coast with a private beach at the end of the yard.
I walk over to the railing and rest my hands against it as I look out at the waves rolling in. The smell of salt and sun drifts across the sand as the breeze blows past me. It’s a cooler evening, but I don’t mind it. I look up at the sky and it’s completely clear. Being out here is the perfect place to stargaze.
There are no streetlights that obscure the view. My property is tucked along the cliffs, so it’s not far from town, but it’s just far enough that you don’t have any of that traffic or the lights. Millions of stars pepper the sky above and the moon hangs heavily in the darkness of the night. It’s a full moon tonight and you can see the craters in the surface of it with the naked eye.
It truly is peaceful here, but sometimes it’s too quiet. A scratching sound at the door draws my attention from the ocean and I turn back to look at the door. Both of my cats are sitting there, staring at me through the glass. I was quick when I walked through the house, they didn’t have a chance to find me until now. A smile pulls on my lips and I walk back inside to see them.
“Well, hello there, Penny,” I say as I crouch down and scratch behind the calico’s ears. The other one pushes his sister out of the way and rubs against my leg. “Yes, you need attention too, don’t you, Max.”
When I first moved in, I realized how empty the house seemed. I thought about getting a dog, but with how much I have to travel for competitions, it didn’t seem fair to get a dog. Charlie was the one who suggested cats. At first I didn’t love the idea, but when she showed me these two one-eyed kittens that needed to be adopted, I couldn’t resist.
My sister and I went and picked them up and they have been more like dogs than any cat I’ve ever met before. Charlie was taking care of them for me until she moved to Orchid City. Now, I have Coach Davis’s teenage daughter stop by to take care of them.
Standing back upright, I walk over to the laundry room where their food is and fill their dishes before heading back into the kitchen. I look around for a moment, unsure of what to do with myself. Today is no different than most days, yet I feel like there are a ton of bricks weighing on my chest.
After rifling through my fridge and cabinets, I find enough ingredients to season the fresh fish in my fridge and make a pasta dish to go with it. Cooking isn’t necessarily my favorite thing to do, but I know how to do it if I need to.
I quickly head upstairs into my bedroom and change into a pair of sweats and no shirt before heading back down. Just as I walk into the kitchen, I see my phone screen is lit up and it’s vibrating away on the counter. My heart begins to race and I lengthen my stride as I move over to it. A frown pulls on my lips when I see the wrong Reed name on my screen.
“Hello?” I say solemnly as I answer the call. The disappointment is heavy in my tone. I don’t know why I was hoping his sister would have been the one calling when she’s out with Griffin right now. She has absolutely no reason to call me—yet I was hoping it was her instead of anyone else.
Austin sucks his teeth. “Hello, Leo.”
“What’s up?” I ask him as I balance my phone between my ear and shoulder as I begin to get my stuff ready to prepare dinner.
“Are you in a prickly mood today?” Austin asks instead of answering me. It’s loud wherever he is and sounds like he’s half shouting over the sounds in the background.
Taking the fish out of the paper packaging, I set it on a plate and begin to season it. “No. I’m just making dinner.”
“What are you making?”
“Fish and pasta that has mixed vegetables with it.” My eyebrows pull together. “Did you just call me because you’re bored?”
“I’m actually on a date right now.”
I pause for a beat, truly confused by this whole interaction. “So, why are you calling me?”
“I need an exit strategy,” he explains as the sounds get a little quieter. “I met her through a mutual friend and asked her to dinner, not realizing she’s potentially the most conceited person I’ve ever met. This woman is in love with herself, I swear. She should have taken herself out.”
Laughter rumbles in my chest as I wash my hands. “Where is she now?”
“She’s in the bathroom. I tried to part ways after dinner, but she dragged me to this damn club in New York.” He lets out an exasperated sigh. “I was hoping if I called you, we could make it seem like there’s some kind of emergency so I can bail on this nightmare of a date.”
“Sure, whatever you need.”
I’m a damn sucker for both Reeds, apparently.
“Okay, hold on, I see her coming back,” he says as the sounds in the background get louder again. “Wait, no. What do you mean it is leaking everywhere?”
Pulling my phone away from my ear, I put it on speaker phone and set it down on the counter. Austin doesn’t need me to speak. This is his show now and he’s the main character. He starts rambling on, truly playing the part like there’s an emergency he needs to deal with. I listen to him as I move about the kitchen and start cooking.
“Macy, I’m so sorry to cut this short,” he says to her before his voice comes back through the speaker. “Yeah, hold on, give me a second and I’ll be on my way.” He turns his attention back to his date. All of his sentences are broken up, most likely from him pausing while she responds. “There’s been an emergency at one of the rinks, so I need to get it sorted out. Yeah, I’ll call you. No, we can reschedule. Of course. I really am sorry. I didn’t anticipate this happening. Yes, you’re right. Okay, have a good night.”
I’m laughing to myself, sautéing vegetables with water boiling in another pot and the fish in the oven, when Austin finally comes back onto the phone.
“Good Lord, she did not want me to go.” Austin lets out a sigh and it sounds like he has left the club as his background sounds much quieter now. “Thanks for doing that.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” I tell him. Austin and I have been friends for long enough for him to know that if he ever needs anything, I will do whatever I can to help him.
“What are you doing tonight?” he asks me as I hear the beeping sound of his car. “Are you making dinner for yourself or do you have someone there? I probably should have asked that earlier.”
I chuckle. “Just me and my cats. I’m not cooking dinner for them, though.”
“I don’t get it. You have enough money, let someone else cook the food for you,” Austin tells me like it’s a simple math equation.
“I’m perfectly capable of cooking for myself. Plus, sometimes I like to do it. It occupies my time.”
“You need to find a person to occupy your time,” he counters. “At least find someone you can cook for instead. I picture you sitting at a table that seats, like, eight people all by yourself with a candle in front of your plate. And your cats are sitting on the floor by your feet.”
He paints the scene in my head and I don’t know if I’m offended or find it hilarious. “Jesus, you make it sound like I’m this reclusive monk living alone.”
“I mean, am I that far off?”
I think about it for a second. “I don’t have a dining room table that seats eight people.”
“All right, sorry. I meant six.” He pauses and laughs as I hear his car engine revving in the background. “You know what I’m saying, though. When was the last time you went out with someone who wasn’t me or your sister?”
Okay, he really is making me sound like I have absolutely no one.
“I’ve gone out with your sister.”
Austin is silent for a second. “Is that so?”
Shit. I need to backtrack or something. I didn’t mean to admit that I’ve gone out with her. But then again, it was only ever just as friends. There’s still a way to save myself here.
“Not like that,” I explain half assed. I don’t know what else to say. Might as well throw her and Griffin both under the bus. “She’s out with Griffin Carr right now, anyways.”
Austin makes a disgusted sound. “That fucking tool? I thought he was living over in England.”
“He is. He’s back in Idyll Cove visiting right now.” I leave out the part that she’s already been out with him before and I crashed their date.
His sigh is loud and exaggerated. He’s not happy, that much is clear. Aria is an adult and she’s free to make her own decisions. Plus, it’s not like her older brother can scare guys away like he used to.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I would have rather heard she was out with you or at your house instead of out on a date with him.”
My sigh matches his, but I don’t admit the words out loud to him.
Me fucking too.