10. Lydia
Lydia
Everything about Eli makes me feel good. We’ve been together for a couple of months now, and I don’t think I was prepared for how much I would enjoy being in a relationship. Everything feels new and exciting with him.
We’re sitting in his room after school, and he’s sitting on his bed, back against the headboard, looking down at some flashcards, studying.
I walk over from the bean bag I was sitting on while reading, and slowly take the cards out of his hands.
He looks at me, confused, and then I smile at him, and his confusion turns into something more mischievous.
I put the cards down beside him and crawl onto his lap, placing my legs on either side of him.
His hands instantly find my hips like magnets.
“What are you doing, Lydia?” he asks in a low, strained voice.
I don’t answer. I just lean down and kiss him.
It’s slow and passionate. Kissing him always makes my skin burn in the best way.
My brain goes haywire at his touch, and nothing else around matters in that moment.
I pull back for a moment to look at him.
It’s still crazy to think he’s my boyfriend, that he picked me, someone like me.
“I think…I’m ready,” is all I say.
“Like…now?”
“No. I mean, I want it to be special,” I tell him, running my hands through his hair. “I think I want it to be the night of my birthday.”
“That’s…in a couple of weeks.”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.”
“I’m sure.”
He takes a moment to take in what I’m saying, what it means.
“I love you,” he whispers.
I just stare at him for a moment. “What did you just say?”
“I said, I love you, Lydia.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
I’m trying to catch my breath, trying to take in this moment. It doesn’t feel real. My heart is pounding, but not out of fear.
“I…I love you too.”
“You do?”
I nod, and I don’t let him say anything else.
I just want to keep kissing him, keep feeling his hands on my body, keep this passion burning.
I can feel his body reacting to my touch underneath me, and it sends a jolt through my body.
I pull back again, resting my forehead to his.
“Okay, we should probably get back to studying before I’m not able to wait until my birthday. ”
He smiles at me. “Would that be a bad thing?”
“I think I’d rather have it planned, be ready, and it be special. I think my birthday would be perfect.”
“Okay.”
He kisses me again before lifting me off his lap and adjusting himself.
My phone rings, and I reach for it on the bed to see Simone calling me.
I answer. “Hey!”
Eli gives me a questioning look, wondering who it is.
I place my hand over the phone and whisper. “It’s Simone.”
He nods and goes back to studying.
“Are you still coming over today?” Simone asks.
“Crap! I totally forgot. I’m um…I’m at Eli’s. We’ve been studying for our exams coming up.”
“Aww, you suck,” she says playfully. “I feel like I never see you anymore.”
Guilt settles over me. I feel like I’ve been so caught up in this new relationship that I’m slacking as a best friend. Simone never did this when she got with Tyler. I don’t want her to feel like I’m neglecting her.
“Let’s plan to all get together this week, okay?”
“Okay girl, but I also need some one-on-one time, pleasseeee.”
I laugh a little. “Okay, that too. Promise.”
“I’ll text you, okay? We need to plan what we’re doing for your birthday too! No more sad and boring birthdays. We’re doing something fun this year!”
“Okay, fine. I’ll let you plan something with me.”
“Talk to you later! Love you!”
“Love you, too,” I tell her, and we hang up.
Eli looks up from his index cards when I get off the phone. “What was that about?”
I walk over and lie down on the bed with him. “I forgot that I was supposed to hang out with her today…and I told her I’d make it up to her. That maybe everyone can get together this week.”
Eli scrunches up his nose.
“What?” I ask.
“It’s just…I mean, I like Tyler and Simone…but sometimes it’s a lot being around Katie and Harper. They’re kind of annoying. I don’t even know how someone like you is friends with girls like them.”
I furrow my brows in confusion. “What does that mean?”
“You know how they are…what they’re known for. How they get around a lot at school.”
“They really don’t. I mean, they might flirt with a lot of guys, but it’s not like they’re sleeping with all of them or anything.”
“They basically are, trust me, I know.”
“Well,” I say, shrugging. “It’s not really my business, honestly.”
“But they’re your friends. It kind of makes you look like you do those things too. You don’t want people to think you’re like that.”
I scoff. “I’m obviously not like that. Everyone knows I’m dating you.”
“You just don’t want people getting the wrong idea about you. I don’t want people thinking the girl I’m with is a hoe.”
I look at him a little in shock. “Do you think that way about me?”
“No,” he answers quickly. “But I also don’t want them influencing you or anything.”
I shake my head. “You’re the one who said you didn’t care what people thought.”
He pulls me to him and kisses me. “I don’t.”
I wrap my arms around him, but keep a little space between us. “Then why does it matter?”
“I just don’t want you to ever start acting like them.”
“I don’t. They’re just my friends.”
All he answers with is a hum.
“You know I wouldn’t ever talk to another guy, right?”
He watches me closely for a moment. “Yeah, I know that. At least I think I do.”
“Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. It’s only you.”
“Promise?” he asks.
I kiss him deeper this time. “Promise,” I say against his mouth.
“Plus, no other guy wants me.” I laugh a little. “I’m still surprised you did. So trust me, nobody else is looking in my direction.”
He frowns. “That’s not true. Guys look at you all the time. I’ve told you this. You’re hot.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re biased.”
“I’m right.”
“I hear how kids talk at school. People tell me what everyone says about me…about us. They think you’re too good for me, that I’m still the weird girl, and everyone is just waiting for you to come to your senses and break up with me.”
He takes my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “Those people don’t know what they’re talking about. I love you, and I’m never breaking up with you.”
“You think we’ll actually stay together? Like, even after high school?”
“Of course. I don’t wanna be with anyone else.”
I feel like I’m always seeking this constant validation and needing reassurance from him. I don’t mean to come off as insecure, but it’s hard not to be when you’ve never felt this way for someone before…and anyone you’ve ever loved in your life has left you.
* * *
A COUPLE OF WEEKS LATER
I wake up to the sound of my phone buzzing on my nightstand.
I squint at the screen, then answer, voice scratchy. “Hello?”
“Happy birthday, loser! I’m outside. Open the door.”
I sit up, blinking the sleep out of my eyes. “Wait—what?”
“Get up and let me in,” Simone says way too cheerfully.
I mumble, “Okay, okay, I’m coming.”
I roll out of bed, pulling on a shirt and heading downstairs to open the door. Simone hugs me the second she sees me, and then we both walk back up to my room together.
“Get dressed. We’re grabbing breakfast, and then you’re letting me buy you a hot, new birthday outfit.”
I smile before I can stop myself. “You don’t have to do all that.”
“You’re turning sixteen, Lyd. You never let me do anything for you on your birthday. You deserve to be spoiled a little.”
I reluctantly give in and go get dressed to leave.
On the drive over to the mall, Simone turns down the music. “So…there’s this house party tonight…maybe we can go have fun for your birthday?”
“I don’t know, Simone. I feel a little partied-out lately. Haven’t really been in the mood.”
“Okay, that’s fine,” she says, thinking. “Maybe we can just all go out together to dinner or something? Get all the girls and all the guys together?”
I can’t help but think about what Eli said about Katie and Harper, what he always says about them.
I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, even though I would like them to be around.
I want him to have a good time, and I don’t really want to hear him complain about them, so maybe finding a way to do something without them could be better?
“I think I might just enjoy a nice little double date with you and Tyler. Can we just do that?”
She looks at me, trying to pick my brain without asking too many questions. “Sure, if that’s what you wanna do, but I still get to help you pick out a nice outfit. You should look hot on your birthday, no matter what we do or where we go.”
“Fine,” I say, playfully rolling my eyes.
After we eat breakfast together and catch each other up on everything we’ve been missing lately, we head over to the mall.
As we’re looking through a rack of dresses, I feel my phone vibrate with what I assume is a text message.
I pull it out to read it.
Eli: Happy birthday, babe. I’m so lucky to get to spend this year with you on your special day and get to call you my girlfriend. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. I love you
I can’t stop smiling at my phone, reading his message.
Lydia: Aww, you’re so sweet. I love you too. I can’t wait to see you
Eli: What are you doing?
Lydia: I’m at the mall with Simone, picking out something to wear tonight. We’re gonna do a double date dinner with her and Tyler
Eli: You didn’t tell me you were going anywhere this morning?
Lydia: Yeah, Simone just kinda showed up at the house. I didn’t know she was coming. She basically dragged me out of bed and said she was taking me to breakfast and then shopping for an outfit
Eli: Wish you would have told me
Lydia: I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was a big deal
Eli: Feels like you’re hiding things when you don’t tell me until I have to ask