35. Lydia #2
Sandro looks me over quickly with a smile before pulling me in for a hug. It catches me off guard, and I stiffen at the contact. My eyes go wide as I find Lani’s, signaling for help, but she just stands there, laughing and enjoying my discomfort.
He pulls back and places his hands on either side of my arms. “Sorry. I’m a hugger.”
I smile awkwardly. “Yeah, I’ve gathered that much.”
He laughs and steps back a little. “Hey, if you’re a friend of my sister, you’re a friend of mine. So you might want to get used to it.”
A small laugh escapes me. “Good to know. I’m honestly just not used to all of this quite yet,” I say, waving my hands around, gesturing at the party.
He nods in understanding. “Yeah, it’s a lot at first, but you get used to it. This is one of the more chill parties of the year.”
“Chill?” I blurt out, not believing that this chaos could ever be described as chill.
“Oh, you’re in for a surprise—what was your name again?”
“Lydia,” I tell him.
“Lydia,” he repeats, like it’ll stick better if he says it out loud.
“You’re in for a surprise if you think this is crazy, Lydia.
But it’s all good,” he gestures to himself, “that’s what I’m here for.
” Then he points to his friends behind him.
“And them. We’ll make sure you get the full college experience…
while also staying out of too much trouble,” he says, looking dead at Lani now.
She puts her hand on her chest like she’s offended. “I never get in trouble.”
Her brother gives her a gaping expression. “Trouble is your first, middle, and last name, child. The amount of shit I had to get you and Sienna out of growing up was exhausting.”
Lani looks mock-annoyed. “Well, sorry,” she drags out. “Someone around here had to be the fun one.”
“I wouldn’t call me having to talk a police officer out of arresting my juvenile sister—fun.”
“You’re never going to let that go, huh?”
I can’t help but laugh as my attention bounces from one sibling to the other. “Ugh, I love watching siblings argue. It’s peak entertainment.”
Sandro shakes his head while looking at Lani, then turns his attention to me. “You must know what it’s like, huh? You have siblings?”
My face drops, and I see Lani smack her brother’s arm. He grabs the spot she hit and looks at her, confused. “What did I do?”
I’ve told Lani about Camilla, so I know she’s just trying to be protective of my feelings, and I appreciate her for that.
It’s sweet. But, no matter how much time passes, the pain of not having my big sister around still hurts.
Most days, I’m able to think about her and even talk to her and still feel okay, closer to her even.
But sometimes, like right now, I still get caught off guard with the harsh reality that she’s not actually here anymore.
And she never will be. I’ll never get to experience these new chapters of my life with her.
I hear Lani whisper in a scolding tone, telling him that my sister is dead, and that was insensitive.
I swallow back the sudden emotions and try to play it off like it didn’t affect me. “It’s okay, really, Lani. Thank you, I love you, but it’s okay…Yeah, I did have an older sister, but she died when I was twelve.”
I see Sandro’s face drop with regret. “Damn, I’m so sorry, if I had known—”
I wave my hand to stop him and force out a laugh. “Seriously, it’s okay.”
Simone and Tyler walk up behind us, and I let out a relieved breath at the shift in attention to them from this awkward moment.
“Drink up!” Simone shouts as she hands me and Lani both shots.
Trying to escape my own embarrassment, I quickly toss it back without even thinking, and immediately regret it when I’m doubled over coughing from how strong it is.
“You good?” Tyler asks, laughing a little as he takes a sip from his own cup.
My hands are on my knees as I hold up a finger in the air. “Yeah…just…give me a sec.”
The burn finally subsides, and I stand back up.
“It’s just…been a while since I’ve had a drink…
and that shit right there? Has to have actual motor oil in it, ‘cause what the fuck!” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
“I can normally handle my liquor, but damn. Y’all aren’t taking the black-out theme of this party lightly, huh? ”
Everyone around laughs, and it feels genuine. Not like anyone is laughing at me… just…with me.
Lani introduces her brother to Simone and Tyler, and then, after Sandro talks to them for a moment, he walks over to me and claps his hand around my shoulder.
“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable asking about siblings.”
“It’s okay, really. You couldn’t have known.”
He nods his head towards where everyone is dancing. “Come on.”
“Huh?”
“Let me make it up to you with a dance,” he tells me, smiling.
Lani quickly butts in on the conversation. “Don’t go flirting with my friends, San. I want her to stay my friend.”
The warmth in my chest at her words, at feeling liked. It makes me feel a little embarrassed, honestly. I feel dumb for getting excited that I have people around me who genuinely like me now.
Sandro waves his sister off. “I’m not flirting.
I feel bad, and now I have to make it up to her, or I’ll go home and think about that moment for the rest of my life.
So, I’m gonna make it up to her by taking her over there and getting her loosened up a little, while letting her be able to dance and not have any creeps on her. Win-win.”
Lani gives him a pointed look. “No funny business.”
He puts his hands up, one holding his drink, the other resting against my shoulder still. “No funny business.”
We head out into the crowd, and Sandro takes my hand, guiding me through the packed bodies that fill the space.
He’s tall and broad, doesn’t really strike me as a career athlete, or like a jock, but he’s built like he probably plays some kind of sport or sports recreationally at least. He’s incredibly good-looking.
His and Lani’s genes are actually insane, and his style is the perfect mix of a little rebellious and chill.
He’s definitely the full package, and I bet he keeps a lot of girls’ attention around campus.
As we start dancing, I’m honestly relieved I don’t feel any pull or attraction to him in that way. Thank goodness. How awkward would it be to have a crush on your friend’s brother—so cliché.
Sandro just comes off as really sweet. I can tell he’s naturally a protective brother and friend. Someone you want around if shit ever goes down. He gives off this energy, like he could easily handle any situation that arises. It’s the confidence that spills off of him.
“Loosen up,” he tells me, trying to guide my movements while still being respectful with his hand placements.
I laugh, trying to step out of my awkward shell. “I’m trying!” I tell him, still laughing. “I’m sorry. I’m not cool like you.”
“If you’re friends with Lelani, trust me, you’re cool.
You just have to get out of your head. Relax and enjoy your night.
Pretend you’re the only one in the room.
” He takes my hands and places them on top of his shoulders.
“Let the music and liquid courage make everything else around fade. Even though you should feel comfortable and confident outside of these kinds of settings, too. There’s something about you, Lydia… something that easily draws people in.”
I shake my head, not believing that. “Trust me, that’s not the case. I’ve never been that kind of girl…I’m not like Lani or Simone.”
He wraps a hand around me, and we sway together with the music. I’m almost sad there’s no spark between us, because any girl would melt on the spot from how effortlessly he makes you feel good about yourself.
“You are,” he tells me matter-of-factly. “You’re the only one who doesn’t see it.”
With that, he quickly parts from me, grabbing a couple more shots and then returning to the spot where we’re dancing. He hands me one, and for a moment, I just let his words sink in.
“Fuck it,” I say, holding up the little plastic shot cup.
“Fuck it,” he says, mirroring me with a smile.
We throw them back at the same time, and it still burns going down, but I don’t double over this time.
We stay there, dancing and laughing, before I feel another set of hands on me. I turn around to see Simone and Lani waving at me to come with them.
“I’m taking my friend back,” Lani tells her brother.
He laughs and drops his hold on me. “Enjoy your night, girls.”
They pull me away, and we stay tangled up and laughing with each other for the rest of the night.
We end up taking more shots, meeting a couple of new people, playing some drunken games, and having an amazing night.
It’s like I’ve entered a whole new dimension since coming to Texas, one where nobody treats me like I’m any different than them.
Maybe it wasn’t me all along; maybe the people I was stuck around in Charlotte were actually the problem, because nobody treats me like the weird girl here.
If anything, people actually do seem drawn to me and the girls like Sandro said.
It’s a new feeling and one I don’t fully trust yet.
The insecure thoughts of knowing how fast things and people can change still linger, but I’m trying not to focus on that.
I want this feeling to be real. I want the dream I’ve always had of fitting in to be my reality.
I really hope it is.