Chapter Fourteen Kami
Chapter Fourteen
Kami
Eventually, I made my way to the north bonfire, where I knew I wouldn’t have to see any of my classmates. It was huge, and the reflection of the flames against the white snow was incredible. All I wanted to do was draw!
Since it wasn’t that late, I decided to turn around and go to the art supply store downtown, which was ten minutes away, to buy a sketchbook and some pencils.
Nothing fancy, but they would do for now.
My urge to capture what I saw all around me was just too intense to ignore.
On my way back, a few yards from the fire, I found a tree stump: the perfect place to sit down and work.
Taylor hadn’t responded to my message. I didn’t know if he was angry at me or just hadn’t picked up his phone, but I also didn’t want to overthink it.
Julian had to have been lying when he said Taylor had been flirting with Ellie.
I didn’t know what the hell he was getting at with that, but if he kept going down that road, he could kiss his so-called friend goodbye forever.
I opened the sketchbook and started drawing. There weren’t many people there, just a few families. The north bonfire was more of a calm place, whereas the parties at the south one always devolved into chaos.
As I sketched curves and lines and crosshatched shadows, I let my mind wander, thinking of all the things that had happened over the past few months: Taylor and Thiago coming back to Carsville, my breakup with Danny, my dad’s financial problems, the divorce, leaving the cheerleading squad, losing my car, getting a job, Dad moving away, meeting Julian…
I stopped for a moment, realizing of all the things on my list Julian was the only good one.
I wondered if I’d been too hard on him. He’d overstepped and stuck his nose in plenty of times when he shouldn’t have, but he was also always there for me.
In fact, he was the only person who had sought me out on that special day to spend time together.
My eyes focused on the flames, their sinuous movements.
Finally, I grabbed my phone, thinking I’d call Julian and tell him I was sorry.
We could take a walk together, maybe. I also wanted to see if Taylor had written back.
That was when I saw all the messages on my notification screen, insults, words no one had ever used with me before:
Slut.
Whore.
Fucking embarrassing.
Imagine what your father would think.
My turn next.
Check out the ex-cheerleader…
My heart was racing as I opened my Instagram. Someone had uploaded a video. From my account.
“Oh my God,” I said aloud, reflexively covering my mouth. It was a video of me. Naked. In bed. With someone feeling me up and recording me.
“Oh my God,” I repeated, wanting to vomit.
You could easily tell it was me. I was unconscious, and someone was touching me all over without my permission.
The thought of me being like that, being recorded without knowing it, was horrifying and made me feel ashamed.
I stiffened, as though frozen, the only sound was the blood pumping through my veins, almost as if it were trying to rouse me from the state of shock I’d been plunged into.
Then I jerked, as if struck by an electric shock.
I dropped my phone, crumpled to the ground, and puked next to the stump where I’d been sitting.
“Are you OK?” a stranger asked. But I couldn’t manage to say anything back.
I grabbed my phone, wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, and watched the video again.
It was short, but it automatically repeated over and over, like a GIF.
You could see my face for just a second, long enough for people to know it was me, then the camera moved down to my breasts, which a hand touched and squeezed, that was it.
I’d never let anyone record me like this.
And I’d only ever slept with one guy.
I got up somehow and started walking, unsure what I was doing, with the video playing over and over in my mind.
Over and over. I crossed town in record time, or so it seemed, reaching the south bonfire and staring at the crowd through tears.
My entire class was there, along with most of the rest of the school, and people were drinking and laughing as they warmed up around the fire.
But I blocked them all out. I saw only one person. The one person I needed to see then.
I walked over to him. Not stopping.
Danny Walker turned around just as my fists flew toward him, taking him by surprise as they landed hard.
“How could you?” I shouted, tears streaming down my cheeks. I was furious as I wiped them away and leaped on him.
I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to see him bleed.
That son of a bitch could have done anything to me, and I didn’t even know it. He’d recorded me half naked and put it on the internet for all the world to see.
“Kamila!” someone behind me shouted.
But I didn’t care.
I saw a stick on the ground next to the log where everyone had been sitting, all the people who had now stood up and were looking at me, speechless but almost all holding their phones in their hands.
They’d seen it.
Of course they had.
Jesus Christ.
I saw red.
Red.
Red.
Red.
I grabbed the stick and held it up high.
Danny said something, but I couldn’t hear him.
All I could see was that video in my head.
Just as I was about to hit him, a strong hand wrapped around my wrist and stopped me.
“Stop!” I heard a voice shout, and someone moved in front of me like a shadow, blocking Danny, who was calling me a crazy bitch.
“You bastard!” I shouted as loud as I could.
Thiago held both my hands and looked into my eyes. “Kam, breathe. What happened? Tell me.”
And then, as if I didn’t have enough problems already, I had an anxiety attack. I was hyperventilating so badly I thought I would pass out.
“Thiago…” I said, unable to stop the tears.
“It’s OK. Just tell me what happened. Please. Breathe, Kamila.” His voice was serious and commanding, and after a few seconds I could feel the air entering my lungs again.
“He recorded me,” I said when I finally managed to get a word out. “He recorded me naked and put it on Instagram.”
“I didn’t record shit,” Danny shouted behind Thiago’s back. “Maybe you should be more careful who you sleep with if you don’t want…”
Those were the last words he got out. Thiago let me go, turned around, took two big steps and punched Danny so hard he fell to the ground.
Blood tinged the snow red.
“I’m gonna kill you,” Thiago said in an icy voice that scared me.
He hit him again and again. People tried to pull him off, but no one could stop him.
Thiago was like a madman. Finally, Julian jumped in.
But when he tried to pull Thiago off, he caught an elbow to the lip. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
Then I remembered that video again.
Those images of my naked body being filmed without my consent.
And now that it was on the internet, it would be there forever.
I imagined people looking at it on porno sites, anonymous men all over the world touching themselves and gawking at my body, enjoying something that was supposed to be mine.
What was going to happen now?
How could Danny have done this?
Someone must have called the cops because soon we could hear sirens approaching. Everyone took off, leaving their bottles by the fire so they wouldn’t get fined for underage drinking. Before I knew it, the police had arrested Danny, Thiago, and Julian, cuffing their hands behind their backs.
“Kam, call my brother!” Thiago shouted. He looked so worried, so scared…for me. As if he wished he could just hold me and make it all better, which is exactly what I needed.
I didn’t know what to do. I was alone, and for the first time, I was scared. When the cops pulled away, the few people left were staring at me, probably incapable of believing what I’d done. And of course, they’d all seen the video.
That video would mark a before and after for me. Not even the best hacker in the world would be able to erase it. Little did I know it would cause the death of so many people.
I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. The darkness was approaching and threatening to swallow me up and never let me out again.
For the first time, I needed her. Her. I looked at my phone and dialed.
“Mom,” I moaned. “Please come and pick me up.”
***
“It’s OK,” Mom said, running her fingers through my hair as I lay there crying, arms around her, on the couch. “We’ll press charges against him and the school and anyone who’s been involved in ruining your reputation. I promise you.”
I wiped my face.
“It’s not about my reputation,” I said.
There was a fire in the fireplace, and Mom, Grandma, and I were in the living room after I asked them to pick me up and told them what had happened.
I remembered all the times Danny had wanted to record me when we hooked up. Obviously, I’d always said no. But that asshole… Had he drugged me so he could record me, or had I just been asleep? I had no idea, and now he’d uploaded the video to ruin my life and humiliate me in front of everyone.
“Are you sure it was Danny Walker?” my mother asked.
“Who else would it be, Mom?”
“Aren’t you going out with Taylor Di Bianco?” She pursed her lips.
“Taylor would never do something like that! Are you out of your mind? Jesus… I’m going to go call him.
I just realized he has no idea what’s happened.
He doesn’t know where Thiago is or where I am…
” When I picked up my phone, I saw ten missed calls and dozens of messages from him.
The last one read: If you don’t respond within five minutes, I’m coming to your house.
I looked at the time. He had sent it exactly six minutes before. Just as I went to write back, the doorbell echoed through the living room, making us all jump.
“Who the hell is here at this hour?” my grandmother asked, looking offended.
“It’s Taylor,” I said, getting up.
My mother grabbed my arm.
“I don’t know if you hanging out with guys right now is the best idea, Kamila…”
“He’s my boyfriend…and he’s my best friend too. I need to see him.” I pulled my hand away and ran to the door.
When I opened it, he didn’t even say a word.
He just grabbed me and pulled me into a hug that mended my broken heart, just a little bit.
His big arms squeezed me tight, pressing my ear into his chest. The sound of his slow and steady heartbeat soothed the tension in my chest. He was my soothing balm, the remedy for my never-ending pain.
“It’s going to be OK,” he said. “But you have to tell me everything. And I need to know where my brother is.”