Chapter Sixteen Kami #2
“You’re so pretty, Kami,” Taylor said, looking down at me. Then he entered me, carefully but firmly.
I arched my back. He didn’t stop until he was all the way in.
“Oh my God,” I moaned, exhaling deeply as I got used to the feeling of him inside me. He began to move, slowly, watching my reaction to make sure he wasn’t hurting me. Once he could see I liked it and my body was rocking in time, he thrust harder and faster. I gasped, yelped with pleasure.
“Oh, fuck, Kami…” he said, speeding up still more.
I didn’t want to come yet, not so quickly. I pushed him aside and straddled him so I could be in control. In that position, it was easier to touch myself as I rode him. He held my waist and matched my rhythm, guiding me up and down faster and faster.
“I’m going to come,” he said after we’d been at it a while. I was riding him hard, and I never wanted it to end. I knew he was holding out as long as he could so that I could climax first.
I leaned over him, pressing our chests together in search of his mouth, and he pulled me into a deep kiss. Then he grabbed my hips frantically. The headboard was pounding against the wall, but we hardly noticed. All I wanted was to feel his pleasure, to experience his orgasm as he clutched me.
And when he came the sounds he made filled me with joy.
“Holy shit,” he said, squeezing me tightly.
I knew I might not come that first time.
Taylor would need to learn how to touch me.
And I would have to teach him what I liked and didn’t—I’d have to learn for myself what I wanted out of sex.
I didn’t have much experience. So I was surprised when he came back for me after tossing the condom in the trash, leaning over me as he opened my legs, eyes wide with desire for more.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“What do you mean, what am I doing? You didn’t come yet,” he said, kissing my thighs.
That was the word I wanted to hear: yet. He didn’t lie down and fall asleep with a quick kiss good night. He didn’t go immediately into the shower just to come out saying, You know, it’s getting late…
Instead, he said, “Relax. It’s your turn now.”
And he didn’t stop until he’d memorized the first chapters in the manual of my desire. He didn’t stop until he’d learned what I liked and what I didn’t, how fast to go, how much I could take, how long to leave me hanging.
He didn’t stop until he could see I was enjoying it.
And with that, he took with him all I had left to give.
***
It was around six in the morning when I opened my eyes. I didn’t really know where I was at first, but then I saw the stars on the ceiling. I looked at my watch. If Mom had gotten up already and found my room empty, there wasn’t much I could do to avoid punishment.
Looking at Taylor, I remembered the night we’d spent together.
I felt butterflies in my stomach and couldn’t stop myself from smiling.
And why would I? So many bad things had happened, and here was something so good with Taylor.
We were closer than ever. And I had needed that to move on, to leave behind…
My mind froze, and I gathered my things as best as I could.
I had fallen asleep in one of Taylor’s T-shirts, which I took off and folded carefully, leaving it on his bed.
Once I was dressed, I stepped out into the hall.
And as soon as I closed the door, the one across from me opened before I had time to run or hide.
Thiago was there, shirtless, looking forlorn, wounded, and incredulous. I didn’t know what to say or do. I stood motionless with my wool sweater in my hands, staring at the very person I didn’t want to see that morning.
Thiago pursed his lips, and in his green eyes I could see him struggling with his feelings as his mind tied together loose ends and tried to grasp what all this meant.
He seemed to be asking me, How could you do this?
I thought he would walk past me, go do whatever he had opened the door to do, but instead he reached out, pulled me into his room, shut the door, and pressed me against it.
Not only did I not have time to stop him—I didn’t even have time to think.
“You’re mine, understand,” he said, cupping my cheeks in his hands. “You’re mine, and I’m yours, dammit!”
His lips pressed against my mouth, and at first I wanted to stop him, but I melted when his tongue touched mine and his hands slid down to grip my waist. I felt myself melting.
Shit! The explosion of feelings made me tremble against my will!
No! I told myself: No, no, no. Not again.
I pushed him gently, and I was sure he felt it because he hesitated.
I pushed him again, this time harder, and he pulled away, turning his head so I couldn’t see his reaction.
“I can’t do this, Thiago,” I said, feeling at last that I’d made a decision. Taylor loved me, and I loved him. I had decided to give him everything. And I wasn’t going to deceive him anymore. Thiago and I were finished.
When he turned back, I could see the pain in his eyes.
But there was something else there. Something uglier.
“We both know you’re making a mistake,” he said, trying to control his voice.
“You have feelings for me. It doesn’t matter how much you try to deny it.
And even if I wish I didn’t have them for you, I do.
As long as I can remember, you’ve been stuck in my head.
Ever since you used to wear those pigtails, and I’d pull on them just to piss you off.
I always wanted your attention. Why the hell do you think I picked on you so much when we were kids?
I’d see you running to Taylor to defend you or protect you, knowing I’d do it better than he ever could. ”
“Thiago, that was a long time ago,” I said, trying to steady my voice.
“You think things are any different now? That I couldn’t take better care of you than anyone?”
“Thiago, you’re the one who told me we couldn’t be together,” I reminded him, trying not to let my voice betray how fragile I was feeling.
“I changed my mind, OK!” he said loudly, taking a step toward me. “I can’t see you with him. I can’t stand it. I feel like I’m burning inside when I think about the two of you alone together.”
I’d never seen Thiago like this before. Never. He had always tried to hide his feelings. Had always played tough, like nothing got to him, no matter how hard anyone tried.
“I’ve got to go,” I said as he stepped so close to me that I felt like I’d die if I didn’t kiss him or hug him or do something to ease his pain.
“You don’t, though. You’re going because you don’t have what it takes to admit you feel the same way I do.”
“No, I don’t! I love your brother,” I said, lowering my tone.
“You can tell yourself that as many times as you like, but you secretly know I’m the one you want.”
“You’re wrong,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Fine, I’m wrong,” he responded, throwing his hands up in defeat. “I’m not going to keep trying to convince you. I told you what I wanted to say days ago, the same thing I always think when I see you…”
“And what is that?” I couldn’t help but ask. He drew a breath and looked straight through me.
“If you were with me, you wouldn’t walk around with that sad look in your eyes. If you were with me, whoever the hell was trying to hurt you would have stopped, or they’d be fucking dead. Admit it: You picked the wrong brother.”
“That isn’t fair.”
“You’re right, it’s not,” he countered. “But life isn’t fair. And I’m tired of letting everyone around me take the things that should rightfully be mine.”
“You’re only saying this now because you know I’m with him. Before, you wouldn’t give me the time of day. If you even noticed me, it was only to scream at me and hurt my feelings. Or have you forgotten the way you treated me up until a month ago?”
“I wasn’t ready then to accept what I feel for you. What I’ve always felt for you.”
“And now you are?”
“Now I am.” His voice was softer as he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Now I am,” he repeated, and I flinched as his fingers grazed my cheek.
“Stop it.”
“I can’t.” But he did. He drew his hand away and let it fall to his side, taking a step back, looking at me with grief, with sorrow, but then with such anger that everything else disappeared.
“I made a decision yesterday, and I’m not going back on it,” I said.
“Then get out.”
He didn’t have to say it twice.