12. Seek and Ye Shall Fight
”I KNOW YOU”RE really not gonna like hearing this, but you can’t wear that brace to Mountain Oak.” Myra points down at my sparkly pink brace. ”It’s pretty, but definitely won”t fly there. Women aren”t supposed to do anything that will call attention to themselves.”
I rub my temples, trying to ease the throb starting between them. ”I feel like a hot pink brace is the least of what will call attention to me.”
I”ve been in Myra”s room for the better part of two hours going over all the instructions she has for me. Earlier today, she got a call from her friends in Arkansas letting her know there’s some sort of get together happening this weekend. Lots of people will be coming into town for it, so Tate and I will have an easier time flying under the radar.
In theory.
”Just be quiet. Don”t look around. Definitely don”t try to talk to any of the men when you’re in a group, including Tate.”
I hold one hand up, closing my eyes as I take a deep breath. ”You should probably stop telling me this, because I”m just getting more and more pissed off and that’s only increasing the chances of me walking right into that place and shanking somebody with a screwdriver.”
The more Myra explains to me, the less confident I am in my ability to keep my shit together. I can deal with an ugly brace on my foot and jean skirts and tops that cover me from my neck to my wrists. I can even handle having to color my hair to hide the teeny tiny caramel streaks I paid a fortune for. I can live without makeup. I can live without jewelry.
But I”m not sure I can control my mouth, and I”m even less confident I can control my face.
”The problem is, if my mouth doesn”t say it, my face will.” I’ve spent years putting my opinion out there. Speaking what”s on my mind. Holding my ground and sticking to my guns. But I can hold all of that in to save these women.
Unfortunately, my expressions have a life of their own.
Myra grips my shoulders, leaning in, serious eyes locking onto mine. ”Just keep your head down. Tune everyone around you out. If you listen to what they say, you”re gonna want to start throwing things. Come up with something that makes you happy to think about, and daydream.”
My heart squeezes a little. ”Is that what you did?”
”It”s what I should”ve done.” One side of Myra”s mouth lifts in a half smile. ”I didn”t. That”s how I ended up locked in a cabin in the middle of the woods where they thought no one could find me.”
I blow out a breath. ”Fine. I’ll tune it all out, keep my head down, and won”t shank anyone with a screwdriver.” I tip my head to one side, knowing I have to slightly amend my promise. ”Probably.”
Myra”s smile lifts a little more. ”You can shank them on the way out. There”s probably more than a few who could stand to suffer a little.”
I tip my head in a nod, holding my serious expression. ”Got it. Only shank after everyone has gotten out.”
Myra gives me a pat on the back. ”Good plan.” She turns to the bed, surveying the stacks of clothes she”s put together for me. We”re packing my bag together to make sure I’ll look as on-brand as possible. She”s shown me how to style my hair and tomorrow we’ll color it to hide my sinful streaks.
Her gaze pauses on my lingerie pile, brows lifting as she looks my way.
”Oh come on. It”s not like they”re going to see my panties.” I grab my pile of thongs protectively, clutching them to my chest. ”At least let me have these.”
Myra ponders for a second, but finally shrugs. ”As long as they don’t show through anything, you’ll be fine.”
My lower half will always be covered with a heavy fabric, but there are some lighter colored button-ups that could give me away if I pair them with the wrong bra. I let out a little groan, just so the universe knows how fucking stupid I think this is, as I fish out the more obnoxiously colored brassieres. ”I”ll go see if I have any more in white or nude.”
After exchanging my bright bras for boring ones, Myra and I pack up my suitcase, stacking it full before zipping it up and rolling it into my room. She pauses in my doorway. ”I”ll always be a phone call away. Our hotel isn’t super close since I might be recognized, so I won”t be able to get to you quickly, but I can definitely talk you through shit.”
”I”ll keep that in mind when I feel like burning everything to the ground.” I look her over, trying to gauge her current state of mind. “Are you going to be okay going back there?”
Myra straightens her shoulders. ”I guess we”ll find out.” She tucks some of her newly highlighted hair behind one ear. ”I”m kind of hoping that doing this will help me move past everything.”
I give her a little smile. ”Me too.”
Myra returns my smile. ”Thanks.”
I’ll let her think I was talking about her.
I do hope this helps her move past some of the shit that happened to her. I also kind of hope it helps me. I”ve carried a lot of anger for a very long time, and it”s suddenly exhausting. I”ve become who I am because of someone I hate, and it”s only just occurred to me that sort of goes against everything I”m trying to do.
After Myra leaves—likely heading across the street to hang out with Felicity—I pack my toiletry bag, foregoing makeup and perfume and only adding the basics. I guess, if nothing else, I”ll be traveling light, which should make it easier to get the fuck out of dodge once our job is done.
And if we have to leave it all behind I won’t miss anything.
After packing everything up and stacking it on my rolling suitcase, I climb onto my bed and switch on the TV. I tend to hang out in my room as much as possible. Christian’s been nice enough to let me live here, the least I can do is offer him and Lydia some privacy to live their life.
But I”m having a hard time paying attention, and an even more difficult time sitting still. I”m nervous. Nervous I”m going to let everyone down. That I’ll be the reason this doesn”t work out.
Myra tried to reassure me, but I didn”t really explain to her the depth of my fears. I know how important this is to her, and I didn”t want her to feel the way I feel.
I give up on trying to relax, and creep out of my room, silently making my way down the steps before slipping out the front door. The security alarm beeps, but at this point Myra and I come and go with enough regularity that hopefully it doesn”t disturb Christian and Lydia where they”re piled up on the sofa watching television at the back of the house. I hobble down the steps, my foot aching the same way it always does at the end of the day. When I hit the sidewalk, I pause, knowing I should follow Myra across to Felicity’s. If nothing else, being around other people will distract me.
But I don”t want a distraction right now. I want understanding. I want reassurance.
And I know exactly where I can find it.
I turn to Tate’s house. The lights are all on, like they have been lately, so I cut across the grass and make my way up to his front porch. I knock lightly because I don”t want to announce to the whole neighborhood where I am. It”s not that I think they would have a problem with it, it”s just that—like with Nancy—Tate and I having a conversation is none of their business.
Within a few seconds of knocking, I can hear his heavy footsteps as they come down the unfinished flooring of the main hall. The door swings open and I let out a little breath when I see him. He”s been a little more distant since Nancy saw us having dinner together earlier in the week, and I don”t like it. Not just that he hasn”t been finding excuses to come around me, but that Nancy seeing us together made him feel like he was doing something wrong.
He”s not. And neither am I.
“Hey.” I try, and fail, to keep my eyes on his face. He’s still wearing his work clothes, but they’re way dirtier now than they were when he left the shop. They’re dotted with something gray and sloppy looking. “What’s all over you?”
His eyes dip as one callused hand wipes at the worn fabric of his T-shirt, smearing whatever the gray stuff is. ”It”s drywall compound.” His attention comes back to my face, concern creasing the spot between his dark brows. ”Is everything okay?”
I smile, even though everything is not okay. ”Yeah. You just said I could come over whenever I wanted, so, here I am.”
Tate blocks the doorway a second longer before finally stepping back, giving me room to come inside. He doesn”t seem thrilled about my presence, but I”m not gonna let it hurt my feelings. I get it.
And I could freaking smack Nancy in the face with a wet sponge for showing up when we were having dinner the other night and making Tate question every second he spends with me. I don”t want to cause her pain, just annoy her the way she’s annoyed me.
The air inside Tate”s house feels different as I move into the foyer. Before, it was a little dusty smelling even though there was no dust anywhere. There”s a certain smell that an unfinished house has, and his definitely had that smell.
But the new scent hanging in the air isn’t anything I’m familiar with. It’s almost minerally and damp. Not necessarily unpleasant, just strange.
My eyes travel up the two-story entryway, following the path of the brand-new walls to where they meet the brand-new ceiling. ”Holy shit. You have been busy.” I”m not sure what it”s supposed to look like at this stage. There”s a bunch of seams and screw holes, but all the studs are covered and everything is fit together perfectly, so I say, ”It looks really good.” I peek his way, offering a grin. ”Almost like an actual house.”
Tate’s chest puffs up a little at my praise, and he seems to relax some. ”If you think this looks good, you should come see the back.”
I follow him down the center hall and into the open area that’s split into a kitchen on the right and a family room on the left. Last time I was here, they were both just like the rest of the house. Nothing but studs and subflooring and exposed wire. The subfloor is still there, but the studs and wiring are all now hidden behind the sheets of drywall I watched him hang from across the yard.
But these sheets have a more finished appearance thanks to the gray mush Tate’s spread across all the seams and screw holes. Without those showing, I can almost imagine what the space will look like when it”s done. ”This is pretty fantastic.” I move closer to the back wall, inspecting the neat lines of compound spread across the boards. ”How do you know how to do all this?”
Tate sets the lid on a bucket of something and stomps it into place with his boot before collecting some scraper looking things and carrying them to a bucket of water. ”I don”t know how to do all of it, but I can figure it out.” He dips the tools into the water, rinsing the compound away before setting them on a towel to dry. ”YouTube is a pretty helpful thing.”
I do a slow spin, looking over all his hard work. ”It”s pretty cool that you”re not afraid to tackle something like this.”
He continues cleaning off the rest of his tools, giving me a shrug. ”It”s not about being cool, I”m just too cheap to pay someone else to do it.”
”I get it.” He finishes rinsing off another tool, but before he can set it down, I take it from him and line it up next to the others. ”I”ve done a fair bit of curb shopping, and a lot of what I’ve found needed work, so I figured out how to make it happen. Over the years I”ve painted dressers and repaired a lot of drawers. I attempted upholstery, but sucked at it, so now I try to stick with hard surfaces.”
Tate rinses another tool, but instead of trying to lay it down, he passes it off. ”You might want to start keeping an eye on curbs again. We’re gonna need a shit load of furniture to fill this place.”
I take the tool and add it to the collection. ”Does that mean you”re willing to hang out with me again?”
Tate hands over the final implement. ”I”ve always been willing to hang out with you.”
I shake my head. ”You”ve been avoiding me since Nancy saw us at dinner Monday.” My lower lip pushes out in a pout and I don”t try to stop it. ”You”ve barely been coming to the front desk at all. And every time I pass your office, the door is closed.”
Tate rocks back to sit on his heels, blowing out a breath. ”I”m your boss, Piper. I hire women who”ve been abused. Give them a safe place to work. To make money of their own so they never have to rely on someone else again.” He rakes one hand through his hair, dragging a thin line of gray squish through the dark strands. ”What would they think if they found out...”
He drifts off, but I”m not gonna let that thought go unfinished.
”If they find out we’re fucking?” I lean closer so he can”t avoid what I”m saying. ”If they found out two consenting adults are choosing to spend time together?”
”I”m—”
I hold one finger up, cutting him off. ”If you’re about to spew some bullshit at me about how being my boss will miraculously make me incapable of telling you to fuck off, then I”m gonna tell you to fuck all the way off.” I cross my arms, giving him a glare. ”And then I”m gonna make you buy me noodles and chicken from my favorite Chinese restaurant.” He tries to open his mouth, but I continue speaking, getting louder. ”Plus an order of crab rangoon.”
I understand what Tate’s trying to say–really I do. He”s trying to be a good man. He”s trying to do the right thing.
He”s just misguided.
But after everything I”ve dealt with tonight, I really don”t have it in me to continue arguing about it. I stand up, wobbling a little on my sore foot. ”You know what? Never mind. If you think spending time around me is wrong, then don”t do it.”
I came over here hoping my mood would improve, but somehow it”s only gotten worse. I can”t even stomp out because my fucking foot hurts, so I”m left lamely hobbling toward the hall.
”That”s the problem, Piper.” Tate”s deep voice echoes through the relatively empty space. ”Spending time with you has never felt wrong. Even though I knew it was.”
I slowly turn to find him walking my way. ”I”ve wanted to get closer to you almost from the very beginning.” He huffs out a laugh. ”That”s why I offered you a job.” He shakes his head. ”Probably not my wisest decision.”
I shrug. ”Then fire me. I can find a different job.”
Tate’s eyes flash and his nostrils flare. ”No.” He moves closer, crowding me. ”That”s another problem. Now that I”m used to having you with me all day, I can”t imagine sitting in my office and not hearing your voice.”
I restrain a shiver, trying to seem unaffected by his closeness and his admission. ”I guess you’re going to have to start making some tough decisions then. You can leave me alone and keep me at your front desk. You can fire me and not have to worry about what anyone else thinks.” I step closer, tipping my head back so my eyes are on his ”Or, I can keep working at the shop and you can decide spending time with me isn”t betraying their trust.” I shake my head. ”Because it”s not. You haven”t done anything wrong.”
I know the girls at the shop have noticed how Tate loiters at the desk, and I”m guessing they”ve noticed how often I”m in his office. If they haven”t already figured out there”s something going on between us, then they’re never going to figure it out.
And no one has said anything. Outside of our interaction with Nancy at the restaurant, not a single person has acted different or weird.
But I know Tate well enough to recognize that his inflated sense of responsibility and decency is going to be a huge issue. So I decide to make the decision for him.
”Actually.” I inch in a little more, bringing us nearly chest to chest. ”I quit. Consider this my two-weeks’ notice.” I tip my head. ”What now?”
A deep rumble moves through his chest as he stares at me, unmoving. Unblinking.
”You”re not quitting.” His words are low and laced with danger, and might be intimidating if I didn”t know him better. But I”m not worried. Nowhere near concerned enough to scan the room for an object I can use as a weapon. Tate would never hurt me. He would never hurt any woman.
In fact, I”d go so far as to say he would probably die to protect one.
He would never take one for granted. Never expect her to worship him. Never turn her against the one person she’s supposed to always protect.
And it has me closing the last bit of space between us and laying down a challenge. ”So does that mean you”ll be leaving me alone, or that you”re going to tell Nancy she can go fuck herself the next time she looks at us funny?”