13. Did You Just Call Me Buddy?
I”M TRYING SO hard to do the right thing here. To be the kind of man I”ve worked for years to become.
For a few days, I managed to do it. I”ve stayed away from Piper for almost seventy-two fucking hours. And every one of them was goddamned miserable. Especially knowing she was so damn close.
But now she’s standing right in front of me. Daring me to reach out and take what I want. And I’m not sure I can resist the temptation. Or if I even want to. ”You shouldn”t have come here.”
Piper rolls her eyes and I swear I feel the movement in my dick. ”Are you seriously going to avoid my question?”
”I”m seriously trying to do what I should. And you”re making it real fucking hard.” She has from the very beginning. This woman came at me swinging and has never let up. The more I get to know her, the worse it becomes, and I don”t know how to fix the situation I”ve gotten myself into.
”You have to make a decision, Tate. Do you think I”m just gonna keep working at your front desk and we’ll just keep sneaky fucking?” She shakes her head at me. ”Because we’re not. Someday I”m going to want something real. I”m going to want a man who isn”t afraid to tell everyone he”s with me. And you”ll have to watch it happen from the office you hide in.”
Thinking about someone else claiming Piper for themselves sends me over the edge. I lose all fucking sense and my mind blanks out on everything except for her. The way I want her. The way I know she wants me. ”Like fucking hell I will.”
I don”t know at what point I grab her, all I know is before I realize it, I’m halfway up the stairs with her over my shoulder, blood pumping through my veins, feeding the surge of jealousy propelling me. Stalking into my room, I bend at the waist and deposit her in the center of my mattress.
She bounces a little against the blankets, arms and legs sprawled out as she glares up at me. ”Fucking caveman.”
I crawl over her, craving her nearness. ”It”s your fault. I”ve never been like this before.” Hooking one arm around her waist, I grip tight and haul her up the king-size mattress until her dark hair is spread across my pillows. ”You know just how to push me, and you love doing it.” She was goading me, and it worked. ”What do you want from me, Piper? To know that I want you?” I run my nose alongside hers, breathing in the sweet smell of her breath. ”Because I fucking do and you know it.” I”ve been so careful not to kiss her because I knew it would be the end. Knew I”d never come back from it.
She scowls at me, and I’m tempted to bite the twist of her full lips. “Because you’ve fucked me twice already?”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with fucking, and you know that too.” I barely ghost my lips across her mouth, teasing myself with what I so desperately want. “It would be so much easier if all I wanted was to fuck you.” I force myself away from the temptation of her mouth, breathing in against the column of her neck. “But you just had to go and be a pain in my ass.”
“Don’t blame this all on me, dick.” Piper wraps the fabric of my T-shirt around one hand, fisting it tight. “Maybe you’re the problem. Did you ever think of that?”
“No. I’ve been too busy losing my shit because of you.” I drag my teeth along her skin, the sharp intake of her breath making my dick twitch in my pants. I shove up to my knees, needing space. “Every goddamned thing you do.” I run my hands over her bare thighs, fingers sliding under the hem of her shorts to reach as much of her as I can as I soak up the sight of her spread across my mattress. “Every goddamned thing you say.” I run my touch higher to grip the curve of her hips. “Every goddamned breath you take. It all drives me fucking insane.” My fingers span her ribs as I drag them higher. “I can’t imagine not having you close to me all day long, but I don’t think I can survive having you that close and not being able to touch you. It was fucking miserable.”
”It was your own fault.” Piper stares up at me, the fire I love so much blazing in her eyes. ”You could”ve touched me whenever you wanted.”
That breaks a little of the frustration driving me. A smile tugs at my lips. ”Liar. The first time we met you aimed your stun gun right at my—”
Piper pulls at the shirt she’s still gripping. Hard. I”m not expecting it, and it sends me toppling forward, barely catching my weight on my forearms. She doesn”t even flinch. Like she never thought for a second I’d allow myself to hurt her. Even by accident.
And then her mouth starts running.
”I”m so sorry I was trying to protect myself after a group of bloodthirsty biker-gang-looking guys showed up on my doorstep.” She continues yanking on my shirt, like she doesn”t want me to get away. ”What did you expect me to do? Invite you in and feed you cookies? For all I knew, you could”ve been just as bad as them.”
Arguing with her actually relaxes me. It”s familiar. It reminds me she would never let me treat her the way my father treated his wives. ”I hope you”re not insinuating I look like one of those ugly motherfuckers, because—” I suck in a breath as the warm softness of her palms slides over my bare stomach. Sneaky woman wasn”t trying to keep me close, she was working my shirt almost all the way up to my armpits without me realizing it.
I groan, my head dropping to the pillow above her shoulder as the tips of her fingers tease the piercings through my nipples. I’ve thought about touching Piper more times than I can count, but never once did I consider what it might be like to have her touch me. There was no reason.
I”ve always been the giver when it comes to times like this. Always felt the need to prove I wasn”t there to take. It worked for me. Leaving a woman well pleased brought me almost as much satisfaction as my own release. It meant I was different. Meant I wasn”t selfish.
Meant I wasn”t him.
But that lack of forethought has left me grossly unprepared for the sensation of Piper’s hands on my body.
”I like these.” She gives my pierced nipples another flick before her hands shift, gripping the shirt stalled out under my arms. She attempts to fight it higher, but it’s trapped. She squirms around under me, making irritated noises.
Her struggle gives me a few seconds to collect myself, so I lift my head, meeting her narrowed eyes. ”Something wrong, Sugar?”
She wads up the entire front of my shirt, fingers hooking through the neckline. ”I want this off.” For a minute I think she’s going to try and tear through the fabric. But instead she yanks the section in her hands, stretching it away from my body before hooking it over my head, leaving the bulk of the shirt at the back of my neck, but my arms still trapped through their respective holes. ”I don”t have the same hangups about touching each other as you do.” Her intentions register as her hands move to the waistband of my jeans.
I try to roll off of her, realizing this is not going the way I need it to, but Piper moves with me, and by the time my back is on the mattress, she”s straddling my thighs, busy hands halfway through undoing my fly.
”Piper.” However she tangled my shirt around me is starting to cut off my circulation, so I grab at the mess behind my head and wrestle it down my arms, letting it drop once I’m free. ”Slow down.”
She goes still, eyes lifting to mine, one dark brow angling.
”I…” How the fuck am I supposed to explain this to her? That I need to be the one putting in all the work. Because if I”m not, I get a sick feeling in my gut. Because I”m terrified that one day I”ll change. That one day genetics will catch up with me and turn me into the kind of man I came from.
Piper’s expression pinches, forming a line across her brow. She abandons her quest to get me naked and slowly lowers to lay on her side next to me. ”What”s wrong?” All the aggravation and sarcasm is gone from her voice, replaced with genuine concern.
For me.
This is why I can”t fucking stay away from her. Not only is she ready to come at me at any time, anywhere, but she can turn soft just as quickly. Soothing the raw edges I continue to nurse any way I can. She feeds all the parts of me, and they”ve been so fucking hungry for so fucking long.
But confessing the real reasons behind my needs would drag me somewhere I don”t necessarily want to think about, so I simply say, ”I should be the one touching you.”
Piper’s quiet for a second, gaze moving over my face, and I know she”s analyzing what I just said. Digging into it for a deeper meaning. I would do the same thing to her because I”m desperate to know every fucking inch of her. Inside and out.
But she doesn”t ask questions. Doesn”t try to get more. She simply nods before reaching out to pick up my hand, bringing it to rest on her waist. ”Then touch me.”
I hesitate, still struggling with what touching Piper says about me. What it might make me in the eyes of the women who work for me.
“It can be our secret.” Piper scoots closer, bringing the soft line of her body to mine. “No one else needs to know what happens between us. It’s none of their business what we do.”
I know she’s right. We’re both consenting adults. I know I’m not using my position to control her. Couldn’t if I tried.
But this isn’t only about what other people will think of me. I’ve been fighting myself for so long over what I am—what I don’t want to be—and I’m tired.
Piper’s face falls at my hesitation and she gives me a sad smile. ”Fair enough.” Her fingers circle my wrist, lifting it from her body, and she starts to roll away.
I react, because the thought of her leaving me like this is more painful than the possibility of what I’ll become if I let myself have her the way I want. She barely makes it onto her back before I”m on her again, pinning her body in place with mine. ”No. Don”t leave.”
”Tate,” she takes a quick breath, ”I can”t keep doing this.” One hand lifts to trace my lips. ”I know how things can happen in the heat of the moment, but if that”s the only time you”re willing to touch me, then I don”t want whatever this is.”
”It”s not about being willing, Piper.” My lips move against her fingers and her eyes lock onto the motion.
”What”s it about then?”
”Me.” I drop my forehead to hers, closing my eyes against how perfect she looks underneath me. ”I”m fucked-up.” Fucked-up isn”t the right word, but I can”t tell her I”m fucking terrified. That everything I do is to prove I”m different than my father. Than the men women call us to get away from. And that the thought of anyone—including me—believing I”m not, cuts into my gut like a knife.
Piper’s other hand comes to the side of my face, and I can”t resist the temptation to open my eyes—to take her in like this again.
She gives me a smile. ”Welcome to the club. I hate to break it to you, but we’re all fucked-up, buddy.”
She”s trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate it, but one part of what she said sets me on edge. ”Did you just call me buddy?” I shake my head at her. ”I”m not your friend, Piper.” I know I”m all over the place. I recognize the way I”m swinging back and forth. I feel every fucking shift. I just don”t know how to stop it. I don”t know how to go back to the way I was.
I”m not sure I can.
Piper lifts her brows. ”What do you want me to call you?” Her chin tips. ”If you”re not my friend, then what does that make you?”
”I”m your boss.” I give her the hard truth, hoping one of us will listen.
But Piper only laughs, the sound light and airy and breaking up the weight pressing down on me. ”I hate to tell you this, but nobody”s the boss of me.” Her eyes narrow as they lock onto mine. ”Nobody.”
I”ve always loved her attitude. Her open willingness to defend not only herself but everyone around her. It makes me weak. It makes me stupid. Stupid enough to think keeping my hands to myself will save me from ruin.
But it’s too late for that. I”m already ruined. Destroyed by a dark-haired hellcat with a spine of steel and a tongue like a blade.
Piper sucks in a surprised breath when my lips claim hers, but her shock lasts less than a heartbeat and then she’s kissing me back. Her hands slide from my face to tangle in my hair, locking into the strands as her tongue meets mine. I groan against her open mouth as I get my first taste of her. It”s both a balm and a flame. Searing and soothing at the same time.
Just like the rest of her.
Like every other time we”ve come together, I sink into desperation. But this time it isn”t about claiming her—owning her any way I can. This time I”m too far gone for that. This time I”m taking. Giving myself what I need and showing her what I can offer.
I grip the hem of her shirt and her arms immediately lift, back arching as I work it up and off. The second it’s cleared her hands, she”s grabbing me again, fingers sinking into my bare shoulders as I work the clasp of her bra open. Once it’s free, I push it out of the way, leaving it tangled between us, unwilling to separate again so soon. Keeping my touch light, I trace across the swell of one small breast, following a path to the puckered nipple tightening under my touch. I groan at the response her body has to me. ”You”re so fucking soft.”
She’s what I need. What I want. I just have to figure out how I can have her without losing everything I’ve worked so hard for.
Dragging my mouth from hers, I slide down her body, lips never leaving her skin. Her back arches as I find the nipple I just stroked, teasing it with my tongue as she makes the softest, sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.
“Tate…” Her hips roll as she tries to get friction where she wants it, already seeking release.
I’ve led her to believe I don’t know how to take my time, and that’s a misunderstanding I need to rectify.
“Shh.” I let the air from my response blow across her spit-slicked skin. “Relax.” I drag my teeth across the puckered flesh.
The next sound Piper makes is a mixture of a scoff and a grunt. “But I need—”
“I know what you need, Sugar.” I flick the tip of her nipple with my tongue, smiling at the way she jerks beneath me. “And I promise I will give you all of it.” I lift my eyes to hers. “Eventually.”