Chapter 12 Lexi
Lexi
Iwake up to silence.
No texts. No calls. No notifications lighting up my phone screen.
It’s been three days since that night in the forest. Three days since Koa tied me to a tree and left me there, blind and terrified. Three days, and he hasn’t reached out once.
I tell myself I don’t care. Tell myself it’s better this way—less complicated, safer.
But there’s a knot in my stomach that says otherwise.
I roll over, grab my phone from the nightstand, and check again. Nothing from Axel.
My chest tightens.
I open my messages, type out a text to Axel. Can we talk?
I stare at it for a long moment. Then delete it without sending.
What’s the point? He’s made it clear he doesn’t want my help. Doesn’t want me.
I switch to my conversation with Thea instead.
Lexi: I should transfer out of here.
I hit send before I can second-guess it.
Her response comes immediately.
Thea: NO. Don’t you dare.
Thea: I’m serious. I will die.
Thea: You’re not running away. We’ll figure this out together. I promise I’m going to make this the best college experience ever. Trust me.
I sigh, toss my phone onto the bed, and stare at the ceiling.
Scarlett’s already gone to class. The room is too quiet, too still. I should get up, get dressed, go to my morning lecture. But I can’t make myself move.
Instead, I grab my laptop and start doing research.
I pull up the website for the university I turned down—the one in California with the better dorms, the better campus, the better everything. I find the financial aid office number and dial before I can talk myself out of it.
It rings three times before a woman answers. “Financial aid, this is Gloria.”
“Hi, um, I was wondering if it’s too late to—” I pause, trying to find the right words. “I was accepted for this fall semester, but I declined. Is there any way I could still enroll?”
Silence on the other end. Then, “What’s your name, hon?”
“Lexi Kane.”
I hear typing. More silence.
“I’m sorry,” Gloria says, her voice gentle but firm. “Enrollment closed August first. We can’t process late applications. We’re full.”
My heart sinks. “Are you sure? There’s no exception or—”
“I’m sorry. But you’re welcome to apply again for spring semester if you’d like.”
Spring semester. Four months away. An eternity.
“Okay. Thank you.”
I hang up and drop my phone onto the bed.
Of course it’s too late. Of course I’m stuck here.
My phone buzzes. Thea again.
Thea: I’m talking to housing today. We’re getting you out of that room with Boring Beige Barbie and into mine. Mark my words.
Despite everything, I smile.
Lexi: You’re the best.
Thea: I know. Now get your ass out of bed and go to class.
I don’t go to class because I don’t have one until this afternoon.
So for the good part of the morning, I rot in bed, scrolling through social media. I’m only on Instagram to stalk influencers—girls with perfect lives, perfect bodies, perfect boyfriends. I don’t post. Don’t interact. Just watch from the shadows like a ghost.
An hour passes. Then two.
My phone buzzes again.
Thea: I heard there’s a party this weekend. You in?
I sit up, suddenly interested.
Lexi: YES. I need to dance and let loose.
Thea: That’s my girl. Friday night. Sigma house. Wear something cute.
Lexi: Deal.
By the time Friday arrives, I still haven’t heard from Axel or Koa.
The silence from Axel hurts more than I want to admit. The silence from Koa... I don’t know what that is. Relief, maybe. Or dread.
Either way, I’ve gotten into a groove. Classes, studying, pretending everything’s fine. The first week is over, and I’ve survived.
That counts for something.
Thea and I don’t get too dolled up for the party. We’re not those girls—the ones in bodycon dresses and heels, makeup done to perfection. We keep it simple.
I throw on a tight knit t-shirt—black, long-sleeved, high-necked to cover the bite mark on my chest. It’s faded to a sick yellow-green now, but it’s still visible. Still a reminder.
Baggy jeans that fall straight to the ground. White sneakers. Hair pulled back in a ponytail.
Thea’s outfit is almost identical, except her shirt is cropped and she’s wearing silver hoops that catch the light.
“We look hot,” she says, checking herself in the mirror.
“We look normal.”
“We’re perfect. Never try-hards.”
We head out, cutting across campus toward Greek Row. The party’s already raging when we arrive—music thumping, people spilling out onto the lawn, red Solo cups everywhere.
Inside, it’s packed. Bodies pressed together, the air thick with sweat and cheap beer and weed.
“Okay,” I say, leaning close so Thea can hear me over the music. “I’m staying sober. Just like high school.”
She grins. “My designated babysitter.”
“Exactly. I’ll keep an eye on you.”
“You’re the best.”
I grab an empty cup from the kitchen, fill it with water, and hold it like a shield. It’s an old trick—people see the cup and assume you’re drinking. No one asks questions.
We find a spot on the dance floor—really just the living room with the furniture shoved against the walls. The bass vibrates through the floor, through my chest. Thea’s already moving, hips swaying, arms in the air.
I let myself relax. Let the music take over. This is exactly what I needed. I bump and grind on Thea. Thank you, Thea.
Thea’s roommate appears out of nowhere, dragging two other girls with her. They form a circle, laughing and dancing and screaming the lyrics to whatever song is playing.
For a moment, I forget about Axel. Forget about Koa. Forget about the bite mark hidden under my shirt. Forget about drugs and how fucked up my life is.
I’m just a college freshman at a party, dancing with my girlfriends, screaming song lyrics and jumping around, having fun.
It’s moments like these that are important in life.
It’s not that none of my dark sides matter, it’s just that I’m living life in the moment without the constant dread or thoughts consuming my entire soul.
These are the moments where I forget how heavy everything is on my shoulders and can breathe.
I sway my hips, closing my eyes and letting my hair fall down my face after I pull it out of the ponytail. I roll my head back, feeling the bass. I needed this so fucking bad.
Then Thea tugs on my jeans.
And I’m back to reality. “What?”
She points toward the door.
I follow her gaze, expecting to see Koa. My stomach tightens.
But it’s not Koa.
It’s Axel.
He’s hanging on some girl, stumbling, clearly wasted. His eyes are glassy, unfocused. The girl looks annoyed, trying to prop him up.
My stomach churns at the sight of my loser brother, drunk as ever and probably high as a kite.
If there’s one thing I never imagined, it was this…
watching my brother choose drugs over his well-being.
Tears threaten to spill, but fuck that, I’m not going to cry.
I suck it up and another big emotion replaces it.
Rage now simmers under my skin at the sight of him.
The fucking audacity he has to waste his life when he was good at football, smarter than me in math, and had a good heart.
Our parents fucked up big time with him.
I don’t think he’ll ever be normal now. It’s been years of this bullshit.
Hell, he’s even gone to rehab! He knows what he has to do but still doesn’t do it.
“Let’s ignore him,” Thea says, her voice hard. “Like how he’s ignoring you.”
I nod. “If I wasn’t sober, I would be screaming at him right now.”
She laughs. “Good thing you’re sober then.”
We keep dancing. I try to focus on the music, on Thea’s laugh, on anything but my brother making an ass of himself across the room.
My moment of not feeling the world on my shoulders is gone now.
Suddenly, it’s crushing my chest. I just sway and bounce to the beat, even though my night is thoroughly ruined.
But I can feel eyes on me.
I glance around, scanning the crowd. Axel must’ve noticed me.
But No.
It’s gray hooded eyes. He’s tall, massive. His lips twitch.
He’s leaning against the far wall, arms crossed, gray eyes locked on me. He twirls his finger—a slow, deliberate circle.
My stomach plummets to another dimension.
What the hell does that mean?
I turn to Thea, grab her arm. “Can we please move to the other side of the dance floor? Koa’s staring.”
She doesn’t hesitate. Just grabs my hand and leads the way, weaving through the crowd until we’re on the opposite side of the room.
Once he’s out of sight, I relax. Just a little.
“You need to not entertain him,” Thea says.
“I’m dropping him. For sure.”
“Good. He’s bad news, Lex. Like, worse than I thought.”
“I know.”
Then Thea looks up, over my shoulder. Her face shifts—not terrified like it should be. Mesmerized. Maybe even some drool at the side of her mouth.
“Lexi.” The voice behind me is smooth, cold, familiar.
I turn around slowly.
“Koa.”
He grabs the cup from my hand, sniffs it. “I thought you don’t drink.”
“It’s pretend,” drunk Thea blurts out, her words slurring. “So people don’t give her shit for being sober.”
Jesus Christ, Thea.
“Is that so?” Koa’s smirk is sharp, mocking.
I meet his gaze, force myself not to flinch. “Say it ain’t so.”
Before he can respond, Axel stumbles over, laughing like a maniac. He points at Koa, swaying on his feet.
“She’s gonna play you, man.”
I look at him with pure disgust. My brother is fucking ridiculous and embarrassing. Koa just stares at me, expression unreadable.
Axel keeps talking, words tumbling out in a drunken rush. “She has a plan. Tell him the plan, Lex. Tell him.”
Thea grabs at him, trying to pull him away. “Axel, shut up—”
“Tell me the plan, Lexi,” Koa says, voice dangerously soft.
Thea mutters under her breath. “This is bad.”
Axel laughs harder, hitting Koa on the chest. “Tell him how in high school you called the cops on my drug dealer.” He’s practically cackling now.
Koa raises a brow at me, almost impressed.
The idiot continues, “Tell him how you don’t believe in love, only in using each other.”
Koa’s eyebrow raises. “Then we agree on something.”
“But tell him your favorite part, Lex.” Axel leans closer to Koa, grinning like an idiot.
“The deal’s off. If it’s her or me, she said it’ll be me.
Just like it was with our parents. I got the shitty end of the stick, and she thinks she can play hero.
” He raises his hands and says, “So now I’m back in the game, Koa. Hook it up!”
The big guy standing next to Koa steps forward, shoulders squared.
Axel puts his hands up, still grinning. “Hey, man. I’m not starting anything.”
I grab Axel by the shirt, yank him toward me. “Will you shut the fuck up already?”
I pour my water into his mouth. He sputters, coughs, spits it out.
“Lex, what the fuck?”
I don’t answer. Just look around the party—at the staring faces, at Koa’s cold eyes, at Thea’s worried expression—and storm off.
I push through the crowd, out the front door, down the steps. The cool night air hits my face, sharp and sobering.
Thea’s footsteps pound behind me. “Lex, wait!”
I stop at the edge of the lawn, hands on my knees, trying to breathe.
“Go back inside, Thea. I’m just leaving.”
“I’ll come with!”
“No. Catch a ride with your roommate. I want to be alone.”
She hesitates. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Go.”
She squeezes my shoulder, then turns and heads back inside.
I start walking.
Away from the party, away from the noise, away from everything.
The sidewalk stretches ahead of me, empty and dark. I shove my hands in my pockets and walk faster, my breath fogging in the cold.
Twenty minutes pass. My feet ache. My chest hurts.
I can’t believe my brother and the shit he said.
Yeah, I called the cops on his drug dealer and got him busted, but that’s not what I was doing with Koa.
No, I wanted to do much worse. It’s because of money-hungry fuckers like Koa that people like my mom die. My chest aches at the reminder.
Then I hear a car engine. Behind me.
I glance over my shoulder.
Headlights. Black car. I can’t tell the model yet, but it’s coming closer.
My heart starts to race.
The car slows. The streetlight catches the body—a black Charger.
Fuck.
I start running.
The car speeds up, pulls alongside me. All the windows roll down.
Axel’s in the backseat. Gagged. Hands tied behind his back. Eyes wide with panic.
I stop, chest heaving. “What the hell are you doing, Koa? We had a deal.”
Koa leans out the driver’s window. “I thought we had a deal too. So either get in the car, or it’s off.”
I stare at Axel. At the gag. At the terror in his eyes.
Fuck.
I yank open the back door and slide in next to my brother.
“If you untie him,” Koa says, eyes meeting mine in the rearview mirror, “things get worse.”
I glare at him but don’t move. Just sit there, hands clenched in my lap, as he drives.
We leave campus. The streetlights disappear. Buildings give way to trees, then nothing.
Finally, we pull into a trailer park. The kind with rusted-out homes and overgrown lawns and broken windows.
Koa parks in front of an empty trailer. Oxy gets out, opens my door, and pulls me out. Koa does the same with Axel, dragging him by the arm.
We walk inside.
The trailer smells like mold and cigarettes. The furniture is old, stained, falling apart. There’s a couch in the center, springs poking through the fabric.
Koa shoves me toward it. “Sit.”
I sit.
Axel’s thrown down beside me, still gagged, still tied.
“What are we doing here?” I ask, my voice steady despite the panic clawing at my throat.
Koa doesn’t answer. Just stares at me with those cold gray eyes.
And I realize—whatever deal I thought we had?
It’s over.