Chapter 41 Lucy
FORTY-ONE
Lucy
Both Miles and I have been incredibly busy since getting back from the camping trip and my conversation with Willa and his conversation with Kingston.
I don’t know if it’s because work is so busy or if it’s because we don’t want to discuss the feelings that are obviously growing.
Either way, I’m grateful I haven’t had to put my heart out there to get stomped on just yet.
But when I get home late one evening, there’s an unfamiliar car parked near the sidewalk, and I brace myself to meet more of Miles’s family.
Before I even reach the front porch, Miles steps outside and hurries toward me, stopping me.
He looks concerned. “Listen, I didn’t know he was going to be here, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to kick him out or let him stay. You just say the word, and I’ll do what you want.”
I stare at the house, processing the words that Miles just blurted out.
“Who’s in the house?” I ask.
“Your dad.”
I freeze. Dad came to visit me? That’s so uncharacteristic. We’ve talked over the years, and they were stilted, surface-level conversations. We met up for lunch a few times when I lived in Colorado anytime he had a layover in Denver.
But for him to fly all the way out here? To see me?
“It’s okay. I’d like to talk to him.” I pull my shoulders back, ready to face the awkward conversation waiting for me in the house.
Miles grasps my hand in his and squeezes it as we walk up the porch. His warm hand calms me, and I swing the door open.
“Lucy,” Dad says as he stands up from the barstool.
“Hey, Dad.”
He walks forward and wraps me in a big hug. “I just got back from visiting Willa.”
I nod. “Way overdue.”
“I know. I’m going to do my best to repair that. I want to be in her life. Yours too.”
“Well, it’s about damn time.”
He releases me and stares into my eyes, looking exactly like the man I relied on so heavily during high school. “Get me that student loan info.”
My jaw drops. “What—”
“I want all login information and the history of payments. Now. You should never have been burdened with something like that, and I’m fixing it.”
I glance over my shoulder at Miles, who’s leaning against the kitchen island, his arms folded across his chest.
I wonder what he’s thinking as he watches us. I told him everything. And now he’s watching my dad try to make amends. At least I think that’s what he’s doing. It’s hard to tell at the moment.
“Dad, I can handle it.”
“I know you can, but you shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t have buried myself in work. I shouldn’t have distanced myself from Willa.”
I nod slowly. He’s accepting what he did wrong…So maybe this is genuine. My dad has never been manipulative, so I don’t think he’s trying to control the situation. I think he’s truly upset about the how we were treated.
“Willa and I have already had a long talk this morning. She told me that you had to move in with a roommate.”
My heart skips a beat as I realize I’m standing in front of my dad…with my husband. Not my roommate.
Dad finally turns to Miles. “Thank you for being there for her. Even when I wasn’t.”
Miles is uncharacteristically stoic. “Lucy is easy to care about. Of course I would be there for her. I will always be there for her.”
Dad rears back as though Miles slapped him in the face. Yet I can’t bring myself to feel sorry for him. And Miles just said he would always be there for me. I’d like to unpack that little sentence, but I have to focus on one drama-filled conversation at a time.
After clearing his throat, Dad nods and turns back to me. “I’m going to find you a house and take care of those student loans. You won’t have to worry about any of that anymore.”
“I have a full-time job—I can take care of this—”
Dad shakes his head. “Please. Let me do this.”
I nod slowly, and Dad steps toward me.
“Is it okay to hug you?”
I nod again, feeling like a life-size model of a bobblehead. And then I hug my Dad. This was not on my Bingo card this year. While I’m confused, I’m also tentatively hopeful.
“I love you, Lucy. And I should never have gotten so wrapped up in work that I left you and Willa.” He tactfully leaves off the part where Mom ended up with the majority of custody after the divorce. Something that he didn’t contest. But I guess he’s making an effort.
“Now, I have to run because Willa and I have an afternoon together. But I will be paying everything back that you did for Willa. I should have never left you with that.”
After a lengthy, emotional goodbye, Dad leaves the house, and I’m left with Miles in stunned silence. I don’t know if I should laugh, cry, or stare at the wall.
“Want to go for a walk?” Miles asks quietly.
I nod once. Because that’s the smartest idea right now. I need time to think.
Miles grabs the leash from the hook and walks to the laundry room.
When he comes back to the kitchen, he’s retrieved Alexander from the yard, and he opens the front door.
“Come on,” he says softly.
Even Alexander seems subdued. He licks my hand as he walks by, leaving a string of drool hanging from my pinkie finger.
The front door slams shut behind us.
Miles hangs on to Alexander’s leash as we walk down the sidewalk.
“So…nothing like a dramatic family get-together,” I finally say with a laugh.
Miles smiles down at me. “You okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a bigger warning. He showed up five minutes before you did.”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“We have a lot to talk about,” Miles finally says.
“I know.”
“But what do you need right now?”
He’s being so stinking sweet again, making it hard for me to remember that this isn’t going to last.
“I’m glad that my dad is putting effort in. It’s about time. But I also just feel so…tired. I should be relieved. Happy that he’s going to try and repair the emotional damage he’s wreaked. But instead, I just want to curl up into a ball.”
Miles nods and pats Alexander on his back.
“I think I need some space,” I manage to say, even though it feels like I’m ripping out my own heart. “There’s been so much…”
I want Miles to tell me to stay.
I want him to tell me he doesn’t want a divorce.
But he just nods slowly. Because this is the right thing to do. We need space. My family is a dramatic mess. But my dad did just offer to help me, and I need to get away from Miles while I sort it out.
“You’ll be okay?” Miles asks in a hoarse voice.
I force a smile. “Didn’t you hear him back there? My dad wants to pay for a house for me. And pay back the student loan. Of course I’ll be fine. Apparently I have a financial backer now.” I can’t keep the derision out of my laugh.
As if money will tape up my broken heart.
But this was inevitable. This marriage isn’t real, and now, my entire reason for being married is no longer necessary.
“What are you going to tell Goldie?” I ask.
Felix knows. He’ll be able to smooth things over. I’m glad for that.
“I’ll ease her into it. I might even blame your family,” he adds with a chuckle.
“It’s brilliant. You can tell her that you can’t stand your mother-in-law.”
“And that your dad kept interfering,” he adds with a wink.
The teasing helps lighten the mood and at least makes me feel like I can walk back to the house.
This is it.
This is the end of my roommate days and my marriage.
All I want to do is cry.