Chapter 11
Eleven
Tucker
Ifinish up feeding the dogs with Rowan and Hayden while Ava resets the agility course before sending them all home.
Saturdays are busier than weekdays around here, with more of the private training clients that support our business.
We spend most of the day in group and one-on-one sessions, while still having to exercise and care for our service trainee dogs and the puppies that are getting big and rambunctious.
The puppies have already started training, and we’ve incorporated it into the schedule, too.
I need to move them out of the whelping room and into a bigger space.
I add that to my never-ending mental to-do list.
With business picking up and the extra time required for appearances at the Hydras’ events, I need to bring on more help, and that’s a good problem I hadn’t anticipated for this year.
I pull my phone out and open the notes app to write a reminder to ask Cami to put out feelers for another trainer and see if any of our seasonal help may want a full-time job.
That’s a message I can send on Monday, though.
The facility is closed on Sundays, and I get to spend the day fishing on the pond or dicking around however I want because Rowan is on dog duty and I’m officially off the clock for my one day off.
I exit the notes app and spin the phone in my hand, wondering what Sebastian’s up to.
I haven't seen or heard from him since the puppy photo shoot. Maybe I was too obvious as I took pictures of him, or too flirty in our conversation, and now he’s weirded out by me.
I’m still thinking about him all the time, which sucks for my poor heart because I learned this lesson a long time ago.
Straight men aren't romantically interested in gay guys, and falling for them just leads to heartbreak and insecurities.
I should just call Callum and see what he and the gays are up to. At least they’ll flirt with me, and I’ll know I’m wanted by someone. They’re good for my ego when I start to realize my type leans toward straight dudes who don't look twice at me, rather than a man who wants to kiss another man.
Instead, I stupidly open my texts and send one to Sebastian.
Tucker: Hey, I’m moving the puppies to a larger kennel in the barn tonight. It’s their temporary home before I get some renovations done and make more room. I thought Enzo might want to help with this dog task, knowing how crazy he is about them.
What the fuck? Am I using this man’s child as an excuse to hang out with him?
I’m shameless. No, I’m lame, and this speaks to my desperation which has been taken to a whole new level.
I exit our text thread and open Callum’s so I can quickly make other plans and pretend I was called away, in the rare possibility that Sebastian responds.
But then he does respond. I can’t stop my interested fingers from clicking out of the unsent message to Callum and moving to Sebastian's.
Sebastian: My mom has been up my ass about spending time with Enzo, so I just dropped him off for an overnight with her. If you still need extra hands, I’m more than happy to come help you out.
My heart flutters at his easy acceptance and willingness to spend time with me despite my lame excuse and no kid to use as a buffer.
I have to check the stupid grin that’s pulling at my lips.
He didn’t say he wants to be with you, idiot, he said he can help you out.
You need to calm the fuck down and not get ahead of yourself.
I type out what I hope is a chill reply.
Tucker: Only if you don't have other plans for your child-free evening. No need to come all the way out here when you don't even have Enzo to entertain. I can do this on my own, no problem, just thought he’d enjoy it.
Wow, now I’m fully sabotaging my chance to spend time with him. Do I want this or not? Whose side am I even on?
Tucker: Wait, that came out wrong. I don’t not want you to come out here if you want to. Just letting you know I can handle this on my own if you’re busy.
Oh, fuck, that’s too much of an overcorrection! Did it even make sense? Jesus, he’s going to think I’m crazy.
Sebastian: ???
Sebastian: Does that mean you do or you don't want me to come out? I don't have plans tonight, it’s not a problem at all.
See, I confused the shit out of him, and I’m making things worse.
Why am I like this? I have my shit together in pretty much every other aspect of my life, but talking to a straight guy friend is sending me spiraling, and I can't make simple text communication work. I should just tell him to have a nice night without his kid and call it quits. I’m already so far behind, I’ll never get ahead in this conversation.
The phone dings in my hand, and I almost drop it as I fumble the old thing and race to see the next message.
Sebastian: Do you want me to come?
Uh, hell yeah, I do. I would make you come so hard your eyes would roll back in your head and you’d be screaming my name.
I shake my head at my wildly inappropriate thoughts.
I’m an idiot. I know that’s not what he meant.
I need to stop taking it there when it’ll never happen.
Just be his friend and enjoy his company like you want to, and don't make it fucking weird, asshole.
I manage to take a full breath and think rationally.
Tucker: Of course, I want you to visit, but I don't want to take up your time when you could be doing literally anything else. So no pressure either way.
Finally, a reply that made sense and put the ball in his court. I sigh and palm my face, glad he can’t see me through this text exchange. I probably look nuts with all this back and forth.
Sebastian: Fuck it. I need to decompress, and your place is peaceful. I’m coming over.
“Hell yeah!” I shoot my fist in the air, holding the phone high as I celebrate.
Then I look around and realize I’m being an idiot again and getting ahead of myself.
I shouldn't be this excited about something completely innocent. The dogs in their kennels stare at me, tails wagging, some barking to join in my enthusiasm despite not knowing what the hell I’m excited over.
I catch Atlas looking at me quizzically, his sleek head cocked.
“Don’t you fucking judge me, dog. I’ve seen you sniff butts and do all sorts of atrocious things.”
He drops his head and spins in a circle before sitting and putting a paw up on the kennel door.
I laugh at his antics. He’s coming along in his training and isn't a bite risk anymore, which is huge. When we get older dogs, even adolescents like Atlas, it can be hit or miss if they’ll make it through the training curriculum and become service dogs or fail out.
Even some of the dogs we train from puppies fail out and have to be adopted out as a family pet.
It’s a rigorous environment that requires a lot from them, and not all dogs are meant for service work, which is fine.
I’m happy we could save Atlas from a shelter and see him flourish in this role.
It goes to show that everyone deserves a second chance, and a little effort and belief goes a long way to giving them a second life with a new calling.
You and me both, I think.
My phone pings again, and I quickly check my messages.
Sebastian: I’ll be there in thirty unless you need more time. I’m stopping for Coronas. I’ll pick up dinner for us, too. What do you want me to get for us to eat?
He wants to feed me?
Oh, damn, that sends my heart skittering through my chest with excitement. I say goodnight to the dogs and leave the barn, intent on answering Sebastian as clearly as I can when my brain has fucking fireworks going off in it.
Tucker: Already have steaks pulled out to grill. I’m making corn on the cob and baked potatoes, too. If you're coming all this way, I’m feeding you the good stuff. Just bring the beer and keep me company.
That was neutral enough, right? Was the last part too much?
Did it come off as desperate for attention, or like I don't mind hanging out with him? Fuck, I’m so messed up over this.
Next time, I’ll think twice before I message him.
This is some stressful shit. I down a beer when I get back inside so I can calm the fuck down, then go to the workshop and hit the weights in my makeshift home gym for about twenty minutes to work out the nerves.
Might as well use the energy for something good, like getting my sweat on.
When Sebastian arrives later, I’ve calmed down a bit and don't feel quite as in my head about everything after a good workout.
I took a quick shower to make sure I wasn't disgusting when he got here. Now, I’m trying hard to just play it cool and not think anything flirty about him because that won't help the situation.
“Hey, man, good to see you,” he says, extending his hand to grip mine and pulling me in for a typical bro hug.
I take it because that’s an acceptable form of physical touch between two friends that won't weird him out or have him flinching away from me.
No full, chest-to-chest extended hugs tonight.
“Thanks for coming over,” I reply, taking the six-pack of Corona and holding the door open for him to come in. “I didn’t mean to crash your Saturday evening or wreck your plans. You can always tell me no if I text and you're busy.”
Sebastian looks over at me as I pull two beers out of the carrier, then put the rest in the fridge. “You didn't wreck anything. I’d rather be here than alone in my house. You're better company than the walls.”
I snort out a surprised laugh. “Such high standards you have.”