Chapter 24 #2
Oh, no. He isn’t going to play that card with me.
“I’m not some damsel in distress needing you to save me.
Did you forget I was in law enforcement for over a decade?
Maybe you didn't realize I have former military on my staff? Or that I have plenty of personal security measures in place to ensure my property is secure. Give me some fucking credit, Sebastian,” I say, the anger leaving my tone as exhaustion sets in.
I rub my temples. I want him to understand he went about this all wrong and treated me like I’m inferior to him, and that’s not going to fly.
“What? No! I don't think you're a damsel or in need of saving,” he sputters, at a loss now that I’m laying out the facts he clearly didn't account for. “I just want to take care of this mess I dragged you into.”
Oh, Sebastian. My heart hurts for the man who always thinks everything is his problem to fix. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, wanting to relieve everyone else of their problems to make life easier, only to make his life infinitely more difficult.
“You don't have to take care of me,” I say gently, finally knowing where this is coming from. “I’m more than capable of doing that myself, and you already have so much on your plate. Please don't think you need to take on my burdens on top of what you’re already dealing with. If anything, we’re in this together, and we gotta share this shit.
I wish you’d talked to me and asked what I wanted to do about it, rather than making decisions for me. ”
“I didn’t think you…” He pauses, and I hear what he’s wrestling with, understanding the way his mind works after getting to know him, and seeing the situation through his eyes.
“You didn't think I wanted to talk to you about it? Or did you think I didn't want you anymore? Because they're both untrue,” I say softly.
“You told the media we’re just friends and told me to leave,” he says, sounding hurt.
“Two things can be true at the same time,” I say, hating the pain that creeps into my voice, too.
“I still want you even though I told you to leave. It fucking tore me apart to watch you freeze when asked about us. I’ve been there so many times before.
I just saved you the trouble and gave the friends line.
Besides, if the Hydras organization finds out we’re together, who knows what that could mean for my partnership.
I’m counting on it for my business, especially now that there’s backlash on social media. ”
“What do you mean, backlash? Why would anyone attack you?” he asks quickly.
“Sebastian, think about it. I’m an out gay man, but it’s not like I advertise that as part of my business plan.
Trolls are all over it after photos of us surfaced, along with stories about me being mentally unstable.
We’ve turned off comments and messages on socials, but my address is publicly listed, and it’s easy enough to email or call the business.
It’s been rather unpleasant the last twenty-four hours. ”
I blow out a shaky breath. You’d think people would have better things to do than harass a dog trainer and his business helping pair military service members with dogs that can help them live normal lives after experiencing trauma, but no.
They popped out of the woodwork with plenty of vitriol and nasty things to say about the work I do.
Some came up with reasons why I left law enforcement that had nothing to do with the real thing.
A few even went so far as to dig into my history and say they wish I’d died when I was shot.
A particularly heinous individual said I should just finish the job now since I’m such a waste of space with my mental issues.
That hurt, given where my head has been during some dark times.
It was like my lowest thoughts grew into sentient beings with social media and email accounts, haunting me even now that I’ve long moved past feeling like a waste of space in the world.
Thankfully, I know better, and I’ve found my self-worth again.
My work means something to the people we help, and I’ll continue doing it as long as there are veterans and dogs in need of training.
Besides, no one is a waste of space, and people who struggle with their mental health in any fashion are just as valid and worthy as anyone else to live their lives.
Their brains work differently, and that’s okay.
My brain works a little differently now because of the things I’ve been through and how those experiences have shaped me.
Sometimes it’s harder than others to deal with, but it’s me, and I’m okay.
It’s taken me years to realize I now have so much more empathy for the veterans we work with who battle PTSD or traumatic brain injuries that have changed their lives.
I can relate to their struggles better and help train their service dogs to assist them in ways I might not have been able to before living through the experiences that marked my soul with black slashes.
While I’m still learning how to cope and get through those experiences even now, I’m grateful for the knowledge and ability to relate that I’ve gained because of them.
“I’ll get PR to sort this out. There’s no reason you should suffer any of this bullshit.
It’s only because I was in the photos that you are.
And don't worry about the Hydras. You're not losing the partnership, no matter what happens between us.
McKenna loves you, and she doesn't care if you do decide to be with me after all this.” Sebastian speaks with a confidence I don't feel.
I scoff at his comments. “Easy for you to say. You're the captain of the team and a star player with a multimillion-dollar contract. I’m just a dog trainer with a tiny organization that they could easily replace. If this brings bad press their way, they’re going to cut their losses rather than let me pull y’all down in any way. It’s only realistic.”
I’ve come to terms with this possibility, and while it’s going to suck when that happens, we can make it work somehow.
It’ll just put us back at square one, scraping by, trying to get enough attention from donors and training business to make the service dog portion of the business continue as a charity at no cost to the veterans who receive the dogs.
“Just trust me, that’s not going to happen. Listen, Tucker, I’m going to ask you a question, and I need a serious answer, because it’s going to influence what happens next. Will you do that for me?” Sebastian asks, and my back straightens at the command in his tone as he gets dangerously quiet.
“Yeah, of course. What is it?” I ask nervously.
“I know I fucked up by not answering quickly enough when asked about us. I wanted to give it the proper attention because it’s important to me. But I see how it looked to you, and I’ll never make that mistake again. Knowing that, are you still in this with me?”
It takes me a moment to answer after that admission, but it’s easy enough.
“Yes, City Boy. I am,” I whisper, because I can’t speak the words at full volume with the anticipation and emotion running through me.
My smile is about to bust my cheeks wide open.
I skate my free hand over my face and into my hair, gripping to give me something to do as my heart races around my chest.
“Oh, thank fuck. Baby, I need you so bad, and I thought you were going to tell me to fuck off,” he says, sounding so relieved, I have to laugh.
“I’m kind of obsessed with you, so that’s not happening. Just don't make decisions for me, and let me into that fucking gorgeous head of yours, okay? I can handle whatever you need me to. I just want to make your life a little easier.”
“I know you can handle anything, and you do make my life easier. My brain slows down and I feel at peace when I’m around you, even in the middle of everything I have going on.
” Sebastian blows out a shaking breath. God, he must have been on edge, thinking I was going to blow him off.
“You’ve always been so capable and strong.
I should have known you had this covered, and I’ve learned my lesson twofold now on how to handle shit in the future. ”
“Good. Learning from mistakes is what matters. I kinda owe you an apology, as well. I’m sorry for thinking the worst. I should’ve given you the benefit of the doubt and not jumped to conclusions at the first sign of trouble.
You get a fresh start, and I won't compare you to everyone who came before you, even when I’m scared.
” Fuck, that was hard to admit. But if he can get vulnerable and admit he’s learning, then so can I.
“It was warranted. I went about things all wrong, but thank you. Now, don't freak out,” he says ominously.
I’m instantly straightening from my relieved slump against the cabinets. “What? Why would you say that?” I ask quickly.
“I posted a photo of us to my socials just now and made a statement.”
My brows bunch, and I try to think of any photos we could have together other than when I was having a panic attack at the arena during the hockey game. “You didn’t post those photos from the game, right?” I ask, horror making my words come out strangled and quick.
“Oh, hell no. I posted the selfie I took of us on the dock with the sunset that night I, uh, broke down on you,” he explains quickly.
Relief washes over me before the next wave of dread crests and pulls me under. “What kind of statement did you make, Sebastian?”
“You’ll have to look for yourself. I’m going to be late for warm-ups if I don't change and get out on the ice right now. But I want you so fucking bad I’m going to be thinking of the next time I can be buried in your ass.”
“Fuck,” I groan, falling for his distraction and pushing my palm into my hardening dick. “You’re a goddamn temptation on ice, baby,” I tell him, shaking my head and wondering how this is my life, talking to a professional hockey player like this.
“It’s not temptation if I’m a sure thing, is it?” he tosses back. “I can't wait to see you again. We get home late tonight. Can I see you tomorrow?” His hopeful tone sends a warm current of reassurance through me.
“I’d like that,” I whisper with far too much longing. I turn and drop my forehead against the cabinet, cringing at my neediness.
He lets out a pleased rumble. “Mmm. Good. I’ll see you then. Don't forget to check your socials, Country Boy.”
I smile. “Have a good game, Big Daddy.”
“Fuck,” he growls. “You know it’s not fun to skate with a hard cock in my pads, right? Now, who’s the temptation? You fucking tease. You’re gonna get it tomorrow.”
I laugh. “I’m counting on it.”
“Damn, you know how to end a conversation.” He laughs, and we hang up at that.
I look at my phone and sigh as I click into Instagram, wondering if that’s the platform Sebastian uses the most. I don't know how to navigate the app all that well, but there’s a notification of a tag request from someone we follow, Monty22, and I tap into it.
It is Sebastian’s profile, and it’s the selfie from the dock, like he said.
He has a contemplative look, and I’m softly smiling at him like he was already my whole world, even then.
The caption has me moving to the breakfast bar and sitting on one of the stools so I can read it through again without the risk of my legs giving out.
Monty22: I knew someone who chased the beauty of sunsets, basking in their warmth and happiness, and she made me see that, too. My world went dark when she was taken from me, and I thought it would stay cold forever.
It took finding a man who made me feel that same warmth and happiness to realize sunshine could be found in human form.
His quiet and stillness bring peace to my racing mind and let me rest. His arms hold me up when I’m breaking down.
His kiss brought me back to life. He’s the one I think about first when I wake up in the morning, and he’s the last thing on my mind at night.
I’m in love with a man who makes me feel more like myself than I have in years, and it’s so beautiful to have that again after losing the person I thought was going to be my partner for life.
I’ve felt Eliana guiding me toward Tucker from the moment I met him.
Every interaction felt orchestrated perfectly with her touch, so I’d know she approved and wanted me to move on with a man who was made for me.
As usual, she was right, and I know she’d be gloating right now to read that.
So, thank you, Eliana. He’s perfect. Enzo and I both love him.
I let my phone drop to the tile countertop in shock as I finish reading. Holy. Fucking. Shit. That was more than Sebastian claiming me publicly. He said he’s in love with me.