Chapter 9 #2
Moving past her, I opened the rear hatch of the shuttle, but I did not touch her to guide her inside.
She was flagging, and even with Val lending her strength, she needed a break.
She needed rest. My symbiont told me she was in good health, and because she was my mate, just like Frederique had boldly dared me to admit, that meant Val could heal her.
That left emotional exhaustion as much as physical, after all she’d been through.
“Sit down,” I said, sounding angry even to my own ears.
I flicked a finger at one of the jumpseats just behind the pilot and nav chairs.
Half-expecting a fight, I only felt more worried when she trudged by to do as ordered, sinking into the seat and pulling up her legs until she was just a small ball inside the too-large chair.
All pale face, huge, wounded eyes, and messy black curls.
Pretty. Downright gorgeous. And if my life weren’t a mess, all mine.
Then the thought curled through my gut—that Talac males always shared their mate.
With only a small portion of the population female, at close to an 80-to-20 ratio, every male knew they had to share.
In fact, most Talacan males were attracted to either sex and happily settled into bonds with one, two, or even three males before they ever went looking for their female.
If Frederique was supposed to be my mate, did that mean I had to find her more males?
The thought killed any desire for mating, for having her, for thinking about the future.
No, I couldn’t do that. I was a bastard for it, but I simply didn’t share.
A faulty Talacan, and a faulty Son of Ragnar. Perfect.
Moving past the crates of supplies that had been tightly packed into the back of the ship, I located a stack of blankets and dropped them in her lap. A pack of ration bars, which held several different flavors, followed. That should do it. Best I had to offer right now.
“I’m calling my captain. Don’t go anywhere,” I warned, piercing her with a look she barely returned at all.
Her hands were busy with the blankets, smoothing them around her into a cozy little nest. Val was helping, rumbling a purr and pulling on corners with her Gracka snout.
Most of the armor had slid away from Frecderique, leaving circles of silver around her throat and wrists once again.
She looked… small, tired, weak. And instead of feeling a sense of distaste, a feeling of wanting to step away as fast as possible, I only felt the desire to remain at her side.
I was swearing loudly—internally—when I stalked from the shuttle to make my call in private.
My fingers were rough on my comm device, stabbing at the small screen until a crack webbed across the surface.
Then I cursed loudly again and forced myself to breathe deeply.
Focus. Forget her. Think only of the mission and what I wanted to report to Asmoded.
He was my only friend out here, and I wanted—perhaps even needed—to be reminded of that.
It took a moment to connect, not because there was any interference on the planet, but because I used extra precautions to make the call untraceable.
A built-in feature Ysa had provided, particularly necessary for this mission since we didn’t know who was in that castle on the cliff.
My gaze flicked to it as I waited for Asmoded to answer, noting only a handful of lights and, otherwise, only dark walls and impenetrable fortifications.
Unless, of course, you were me. With Val’s help, I’d breach that hold in no time at all, and I was anxious to get started.
“Sin, everything all right?” Asmoded asked in lieu of a greeting.
His voice was cool, calm but I could sense the concern anyway.
I never called unless I had good reason, and not enough time had passed yet for them to worry.
The only reason I was making this call was because I wanted to get away from Frederique’s pale face and the heavy weight of guilt that pressed on my shoulders when I looked at her.
Even picturing her green, wounded eyes made my chest feel tight, my lungs struggling to draw in air.
I’d never struggled to put my emotions aside before.
Never. I didn’t like feeling out of control.
“Fine, I had a run-in with the locals, whatever they are. I have samples for Dravion; that should make him happy.” Blood from the mutant freak I’d slashed to bits aboard the Lancing Light, collected after the first scuffle.
I’d been somewhat rational then, unlike now.
With Frederique stowed in my shuttle, it was tempting to abort the mission altogether—because completing it meant leaving her alone, or leaving Val with her, and myself open to attacks, vulnerable.
“I will pass along the news, but I doubt that’s why you called.
Are you coming back?” Asmoded drawled. It was silent, no background noise, no murmured voices.
That probably meant he was in his ready room, going over reports, doing payroll, or selecting new missions.
We had nothing lined up, but I had no doubt he’d have something before I got back from this desolate water world.
“No,” I hissed, furious at the thought of not completing what I’d set out to do.
I was going to invade that stronghold, damn it, and I would destroy it and come back with further data on Jalima’s operations.
I might not personally have had a beef with the bastard crimelord, but enough of the people on the Varakartoom did that I owed it to them to see this through.
Like Asmoded, like Solear, who had not long ago been my main source of sustenance.
Nowadays, I had to skulk around outside the crewquarters just to get a trickle of the darkness Val needed to survive.
“Okay,” Asmoded responded, amused by my vehemence.
He chuckled as if I’d made a joke. “Shall I leave you to it?” I faltered, realizing how pointless this call was in the first place.
Unless, of course, I did as I really should and reported finding the Earth vessel and its sole survivor.
Would Frederique have passed out from her exhaustion by now?
Was she sleeping? My eyes flicked to the open hatch.
I could not see her from here, and I refused to move so I could peek in.
“I wanted to know if there was any activity, considering my delay.” Not phrased exactly like a question, Asmoded responded to it anyway with an all-clear. Then the call disconnected, as if he were done with the hand-holding. Well, so was I. Enough weakness. It was time to get this over with.