Chapter 10
Frederique
I was beyond exhausted after stasis, the encounter with that mutant thing that might have once been Davidson, and the Sineater.
Most of all, I was tired of all the emotional upheaval.
I didn’t think anyone would blame me for being a hot mess after the day I’d had.
From discovering my friends were dead and my mission a failure, to running into a male who…
well, I suppose just because biology said we should procreate didn’t mean he was obliged to like me.
All of it sucked, and I felt raw, vulnerable, exposed.
I could hear his voice, low and snarly. He was talking to someone on his comm; hadn’t he said “captain”?
So he wasn’t some lone agent, a loose cannon, though he certainly seemed that way.
Beholden to no one. Least of all the Sons of Ragnar, and their loyalty to one another was supposed to be legendary.
Maybe there was a reason he was in the Zeta Quadrant; maybe they’d tossed him on his ass for being a rude asshole.
The thought made me chuckle, but the wry sound quickly morphed into a jaw-cracking yawn.
“Damn it, I’m tired. Do you think it’s safe to take a nap?
” I asked Val. She had slipped from my body after we’d reached the shuttle, save for a few very fine strands that still clung to my wrists and throat.
Sitting in her Gracka form next to me, she looked like a jackal and a German Shepherd had a silver baby.
Her sharp ears were pricked forward attentively, her snout open to show rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth.
Was it my imagination, or did she seem much bigger than when we’d first met?
She seemed bigger now than she had five minutes ago, actually.
She cocked her head, then nudged her sharp snout into my lap, pressing it against the package of rations.
I could not read any of the letters on it, they were strange, alien, and nothing like any of the scripts I’d studied back on Earth.
Not anything from the Alpha Quadrant, but the packaging still reminded me of food.
Some things were just too universal, I supposed.
Especially since all species I’d encountered needed to eat, even the Praxidar, with their weird, jellyfish-like appearance.
“Food first, huh?” I sighed, forlorn, blanketed by the heavy weight of sadness.
I was no longer mad at Sin for having sex with me and then pushing me away.
It was my own fault, I shouldn’t have pushed at such a weird moment.
Trapped with nowhere to go inside that tiny escape pod.
The sex had been fantastic, but he’d made me feel dirty, as if I were the one who had used him.
That’s not what I’d meant, not what I’d wanted.
But my brain was too tired right now to figure out how I had wanted things to go down.
It wasn’t like I was such a hopeless romantic that I’d expected him to profess his undying love for me on the spot.
Things just didn’t go that way, not ever.
Certainly not for a dusty professor who’d just rolled out of a thousand years of stasis.
I picked a bar at random, opened it, and wrinkled my nose at the strong, musky smell.
“This isn’t spoiled, is it? Is it safe for human consumption?
” It didn’t smell appetizing, and it almost made my stomach turn.
The Gracka snout leaned in closer, sniffed loudly, and then went up and down in what was unmistakably a nod of confirmation.
A clearer example of how much Val understood didn’t really exist, did it?
I brought the bar to my mouth, coughed at the strong smell, and took a tiny nibble.
It stung my tongue, and I quickly spat it out, dry heaving in horror at the awful taste.
Val was a liquid flash, sliding through the air in a strange, organic shape and covering my mouth, my face.
For a moment, I felt like I was drowning, and then it faded away, the same way Val slipped away again.
Gone from stinging tongue and throat, gone from watering, burning eyes. Just like that.
Silver pooled in my lap, covering the bar I’d opened and the bunch still in the package, then withdrew as Val settled back into her Gracka shape.
Only one bar remained on top of the blankets; the rest were piled at Val’s large paws on the floor.
This one had a yellow label. “You think I should try this one?” I asked, my stomach turning at the thought of another burning, too-spicy encounter.
It rumbled next, reminding me that I was desperately in need of some food—my last meal had been on the Lancing Light, over seven hundred years ago.
A wave of sadness broke and crashed, threatening to swallow me, until suddenly, it didn’t.
I’d shared that last meal with the whole crew: a goodbye, a celebration of leaving Earth’s solar system successfully.
I’d sat next to Kadri, with her bright scarf and brighter smile, and laughed at the antics of the Talacan foursome—their males jostling as they made a spectacle out of wanting to feed her, to the amusement of us all.
Val’s soft whine made me lift tear-filled eyes to hers, and with a nod, I picked up the bar and tore it open.
This one smelled much, much better—like strawberries and banana—though I doubted that’s what it was made of.
“Better,” I agreed, though I didn’t feel any better.
I ate by rote, barely tasting whatever semi-sweetness was in it.
It filled me. It didn’t make my tongue burn or my eyes sting. That was good enough.
With food in my belly and blankets wrapped around me to keep me warm, I did not want to do much else.
Maybe that made me the coward this time around, but all I wanted was to close my eyes and sleep.
I’d slept a long time, and still I was exhausted, but that was just the effect of the stasis, wasn’t it?
A few sips of water, and I gave in, surrendering to rest. Even if Sin and I were two ill-fitting pieces of a puzzle, I did trust him to keep me safe.
When, much later, I sleepily blinked open my eyes to utter darkness, I didn’t expect to be alone.
I thought, at the very least, that Val would be with me or that Sin had sat down in the pilot seat and was staring at me with a somewhat creepy, unreadable look.
I shifted upright, and light blinked on inside the shuttle in response to my motion.
The shuttle was empty. It was just me, the blankets and crates full of supplies.
My breath fogged lightly in the air when I exhaled, a testament to the dropping temperatures.
How much time had passed? Irrationally, fear sank into my bones at the thought.
Had I slept too long again? I wasn’t in stasis this time, but I still found myself checking nearby surfaces for dust and grime.
What if I’d been out for years, and there was no Sin, and no Val? What if I was all alone again?
Then my eyes caught a glint of silver around my wrist. I touched it with my other hand, and it felt warm, alive.
Val. She was still touching me, a piece of her living body split off to stay with me.
I wasn’t alone. My breathing eased, and the panic began to fade away.
It allowed me to see everything with much clearer eyes.
The ship was closed, some supplies were gone, and on the chair across from me was a whole pile of yellow-labeled ration bars.
There was bottled water too, and if I wasn’t mistaken, next to the food supplies, a pistol glinted silver.
I picked it up and stroked my fingers along the handle.
So, he’d left me armed and fed, but where had he gone?
There was no message, and I didn’t expect one.
Sin was not the demonstrative type; he acted like he barely tolerated me at all, except when he was kissing me.
My body tingled at the memory, and I tamped it down, furious.
“No more of that. He doesn’t want it, so I’m not going to make a fool of myself any further. ” Easier said than done.
At least I didn’t feel so tired now, lighter after I’d slept, as if it had put time and distance between me and the disastrous crash of the ship.
How had it happened? I hadn’t had enough of a chance to look at the ship’s logs or retrieve my personal effects when we fled.
Davidson had been out of his pod, though, and the others disabled. Had he done something?
Instantly, my mind flashed with the image of that thing that had attacked us: dark shadows, pink and blue tentacles, and a face that was much too human—far too much like the man I’d once known.
It had been him, but I struggled to believe much of his mind remained.
He’d flirted with me again before I’d climbed into my pod for the stint in stasis.
I recalled the uncomfortable feeling that had filled me as he made the flirty remark.
I’d shut him down once, and I hated having to do it again.
My eyes went to the shuttle hatch, certain I’d heard something and hoping it was just Sin.
But what if it wasn’t? He’d left a gun for a reason; he wouldn’t do that if he thought I was safe.
There had been shadows in the water, something attacking our pod.
I’d seen it get swallowed by far-too-enthusiastic waves when Sin somehow flew us to the island.
A noise made the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
I clutched the gun more tightly in my grip, fingering the controls and wondering if I’d even know how to work it.
The design was unfamiliar to me; did it even have a safety feature, or was it just point and shoot?
I had trained with a laser gun, just not one like this.