Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
HAYDEN
Dinner at my mother’s house is never quiet.
Plates clatter. Glasses clink. Voices overlap in a dozen directions at once. Someone’s always asking for the butter. Someone else is telling a story that gets interrupted halfway through. And there’s at least one argument brewing over something inconsequential, usually sports-related.
Today is no different.
Yet somehow, despite the chaos, everyone’s attention keeps drifting back to Rowan.
She’s seated halfway down the table, her expression animated, obviously feeding off the energy of being in a room full of people.
“And then I realized I’d parked my van for the night in what I thought was a beautiful spot along the beach,” Rowan says, laughing.
“Turns out it was also the meeting point for a sunrise yoga class. At five a.m., someone rang a bell so aggressively I thought it was a tsunami alarm or something. I woke up convinced the world was ending. When I slipped out of my van to see what was going on, the instructor invited me to ‘embrace the morning.’ And because it’s my year of yes… ”
“You joined them?” Dylan asks with a single brow arched.
“I spent twenty minutes pretending to stretch while seriously considering whether crawling back into my van and driving off counted as personal growth.”
The table erupts in laughter.
“Don’t get me wrong. I love yoga. But there’s a time and a place for it.
And it’s not five in the morning. But as I was attempting to contort my body into a one-legged pigeon pose, I don’t know…
” She pushes out a breath, a peaceful smile tugging on her lips.
“There was something about doing yoga as the sun rose that sparked something inside me. So since that day, I’ve tried to start every day by doing yoga as the sun rises. I’ve added it to my life list.”
“Your life list?” Joshua asks from beside her, leaning closer.
Closer than I’d like.
“It’s sort of like a bucket list, I guess.
But small things. Nothing like snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef or seeing the penguins in Antarctica, as awesome as both of those experiences would be.
But my life list is more about finding joy in the little things.
Like watching the sun rise every morning.
Or slowing down and savoring that first cup of coffee.
Or sleeping in on Sundays. Little things that can make your life feel… fuller.”
I watch her without meaning to. The way her hands move when she talks, expressive and sure. The way her eyes light up when talking about the things that excite her.
She’s everything I’m not.
“What about your family?” my mother asks. “They must miss you.”
Something shifts in Rowan’s expression. Her smile briefly falters. Her fingers tighten around her fork before she sets it down.
“I don’t really have that kind of relationship with my parents.”
“Oh. I’m sorry, dear,” Mom replies.
Rowan shrugs. “My father was more upset I quit my job at the law firm where he’s a senior managing partner,” she continues.
“Couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to work sixteen-hour days on the off chance I’d make junior partner someday.
The truth is, I only went to law school because I thought maybe it would give us something in common. Maybe he’d like me more.”
My chest tightens as I listen to her. She never told me about herself or her family. Then again, I never asked.
“My parents weren’t around much when I was growing up,” she explains. “I was basically raised by nannies. My mother was too busy with her socialite friends. And my father was always gone before I woke up, and didn’t get home until after I went to bed. There was never any of this.”
She gestures around the table — the noise, the closeness, the way everyone genuinely cares for each other, even if we get on each other’s nerves at times.
It all clicks into place.
From the very beginning, Rowan pushed me to spend time with my kids. To sit down for dinner. To take mornings slow. I thought she was just trying to give them structure.
Now I realize she was trying to give them what she never had.
A parent who chose them.
“Well,” my mother begins softly, “you’re always welcome at my table. Consider yourself an honorary Lawrence.”
“Thank you.” Rowan gives her a sincere smile before shifting her gaze and landing on mine.
It lasts a heartbeat.
But in that single look, something passes between us. Recognition. Understanding. A quiet, dangerous intimacy that has nothing to do with the kiss and everything to do with what we see in each other.
“What’s been your favorite place to visit so far?” Finn asks, and I force myself to look away.
“Sycamore Falls is definitely working its way to the top,” she replies, and I feel that stupid, traitorous flare of something warm in my chest. “But before I came here, I’d have to say Santa Fe.”
“Santa Fe?” Joshua presses.
“When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Newsies,” she explains. “Okay. I still am. And the main character is always talking about Santa Fe like it’s this magical place where all his troubles would magically disappear. I’d never been, so I went.”
“And?” Joshua asks, leaning in again.
And again, I have to resist the urge to shout at him to keep his distance.
“It was incredible,” she replies. “The food. The art. The history. It felt…layered. Like the place had lived a lot of lives.”
Joshua smiles. “Sounds amazing.”
She meets his eyes. “It was.”
I shouldn’t care how he’s looking at her. Or how easily she laughs at something he says under his breath. Joshua’s a good person. One of my sister’s closest friends. Practically family.
But I can’t deny the truth.
I want to be the one who makes her laugh.
The one she curves toward.
The one who can touch her without it being wrong.
Jude nudges my knee under the table before leaning close. “If looks could kill.”
I snap my gaze to him. “What?”
“The way you’re shooting daggers at poor Josh.”
“I’m doing no such thing,” I respond, taking a long pull from my beer.
Rowan laughs again, unguarded and bright, and it’s impossible not to look.
Or, more accurately, glare, especially as Joshua inches closer to her.
“They’d make a cute couple, don’t you think?” Jude remarks.
“Who?” I ask, even though I know.
“Josh and Rowan. He’s clearly into her. Has barely looked at anyone else since we sat down to eat. Then again, neither have you.”
“I’m not into her,” I say defensively. “And Rowan’s free to date anyone she wants.”
The words taste wrong. Bitter.
Because the idea of Joshua touching her, kissing her, sets something off inside me. Something hot and possessive.
I never felt this way about Cora.
Why do I feel this way about Rowan?
“I said the same thing about Abbey,” Jude continues, not dropping it. “Our situations are pretty similar when you think about it. She was also my employee who lived with me.”
“I’m not attracted to Rowan,” I lie.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He pauses. “Want my advice?”
“No.” I take another long gulp of my beer, trying to look anywhere but at Rowan. But my eyes keep finding her.
“Too bad,” Jude retorts. “Stop telling yourself all the reasons you don’t deserve to be happy and just let yourself be happy. However that looks for you.”
I shift my eyes forward, immediately reminded of my conversation with Rowan last night. About the things that spark joy for me.
My kids.
Rowan.
And her kiss.
Hell, that kiss sparked more than joy. It sparked something I thought died with my wife.
Which is why I need to forget about it. Pretend it never happened.
Because it wasn’t just one of the best kisses of my life.
It was the most dangerous, too.