Chapter 46
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
My brazenness is the steel to shatter bonds
Shohari
I’D ALWAYS hated these chairs.
The colours were too many years out of fashion compared to the galaxy, and the fancy upholstery did nothing for comfort.
Neither did the two guards with blasters aimed at me. Or the metal cuffs on my wrists. I was too furious to be upset. She pulled my spines.
I tried to focus on a breathing exercise. Staying angry wouldn’t help me get free. I had to think.
All I could see was the image from Aurora Five. Garrison kissing me.
Emotion welled up and threatened to choke me. Shohari, I’m in love with you.
When I’d told Garrison he would be too easy to love, I’d meant it. He was everything I'd never dared to want. If I woke up in his arms every morning as we flew the Dorimisa across the galaxy, I would be happy.
I’d not dared think what my future after this would look like, but that image was as strong as a rock. Anything else could fit round it, and any future without him would be bleak.
Though my bones sang in agreement, cold fear skittered through my blood. I had no experience with freedom, and it was terrifying.
But, my bones said, it is right.
I wanted to believe.
The low rumble of a cultured male voice made its way through the door, and my breath froze in my lungs. One of the guards stepped forwards. “We’re going to unlock your cuffs, mistress. Do not try anything foolish.”
Like attempting to rescue my brother? A faint smile teased the corners of my lips. It was a little late for that.
The guard thrust his arm out, my fallen jewels on his upraised palm. “Sort your headspines out. You’re a mess.”
Scowling, I wove them back in as best I could, though my headspines fought me at every step.
The guards bowed, and an older male strode into the room.
And I? I skykking stood up, didn’t I? At least I didn’t drop in a skykking curtsey.
“The beautiful Mistress Shohari. It is a pleasure.” The male was impeccably dressed in high city fashion, his voice deep and elegant.
I crossed my arms over my breasts and jutted my chin in a most unbecoming angle. “Master Rokharu fei Sinla, I presume? I’m not mating you.”
Laughter shook his broad chest and sparkled in his indigo eyes. “So I have heard.” He had? I turned my head, and he frowned. “Who struck you?”
I put a palm to my cheek. “It is of no matter.”
“I disagree.” A growl rumbled in his chest. “Tell me.”
He was… not unattractive. But he was too tall, too broad. Too spiny. Too kri’ith. “It doesn’t matter. I can fight my own battles.”
“Of that I have no doubt.”
I tipped up my chin. “You can’t charm me, Master Rokharu. Nor should you want to.” My brazenness is the steel to shatter bonds. “You should know, I’m not untouched.”
Heat filled his lazy smile. “Neither am I. Though I daresay since my mate passed a number of years ago, I’ve been disinclined to find another. Until now.”
Breathe. “May her star shine with the Ancestors.” I may have hated him on principle, but I wasn’t a monster.
“Thank you,” he said softly. “We shared a soul bond. It was very difficult.”
My headspines twitched despite my best efforts. Mate bonds were exceptionally rare on Orith; could he tell I had one, too?
“Your mother is most insistent on this union,” he said.
I forced myself to pay attention. “So I have heard.”
He tilted his head, pursed his lips, but said nothing more.
“And you?” I said, voice flat. “Are you as insistent?”
Rokharu was halfway towards me before I growled in warning, and he stilled. “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted by your beauty. Or your belligerence.” He drew his eyes down my body. “I am sure you would put up a very pleasurable fight.”
The smile he gave me was full of promise, and I realised, with stark surprise, though he left me cold, he was not the horror I’d painted him.
Having been soulbound before, his bones would want their hollow spaces filled, and he would want more than just an arranged match.
In another life, it could have been tolerable. More than, even.
But not this life. Not now I’d flown amongst the stars. Not now I’d met my Garrison. Not now he was in my bones.
“But no, fierce mistress,” Rokharu continued, oblivious to my turmoil. “I am not as single-minded, and I certainly would not wish to take an unwilling mate.” His face took on a wistful cant. “Would you consider giving me the chance to court you?”
I hadn’t given Garrison the chance to court me. “I skykked an alien, you know.” Throwing Garrison in his face didn’t fill me with pride, but my mate was big enough to feel like armour. He wouldn’t mind.
Rokharu only missed a beat. “Perhaps if I were young and out in the galaxy, I might do the same.” He smirked at my wide eyes. “I have reviewed your trading history. Quite impressive.”
“Thank you.”
“Your mother is a fool to think she could replace you with your cousin and be as profitable.”
I arched a brow. Such overt thoughts were unseemly. “I thought you held my uncle in high regard?”
“I do, and it is for precisely that reason I would tell him the same.”
I laughed. I didn’t want to, but I did.
“I am not a trader, Shohari. And I find myself weary of their overly traditional ways. Enclaves are not representative of the wider world.” He ran a hand over his headspines, and it reminded me of the way Garrison would rub his mane when he was thoughtful.
“I could make you happy, I am sure. If you were to give me a chance.”
Were I a different version of myself, able to give him the chance, I found I would believe him.
The pain I’d been so terrified of stabbed at me, even at such an abstract thought. Good. I didn’t want anyone else. “I am not yet at the point where I would give Mother the satisfaction.”
“I understand.” His tone was tinged with sadness. “You cannot blame a male for trying.”
I could not. And if he knew the change in me, he would not blame me, either.
Rokharu turned away, as though gathering himself, and when he turned back, he had a shrewd glimmer in his eyes. “I had the most curious message this morning.”
Finally. “Is that so?”
“Indeed. From Inupa dai Yakri, of all people.”
“Fancy that,” I said, keeping my voice neutral.
“She insinuated you had a secret that would make you most unsuitable for a mate. And I suspect it is something with more gravitas than liaising with aliens.”
“Your instincts serve you well, Rokharu.”
“They have done thus far. And my instincts tell me you are in need of an ally.”
My headspines twitched. Spines of Kri, this male was full of surprises. “You would aid me, even after being so summarily and crudely rejected?”
Light streamed through the window, catching on his tusk gems. “Especially after. You are a refreshing delight, and if I cannot make you mine, I can certainly attempt to make you happy today.” His smile hardened into a grimace. “Unlike some, I am not without the moral integrity tradition requires.”
Sweet, blessed relief whispered through my bones, radiating outwards until it welled up in my throat. I never would have dreamed of finding an ally inside my parents’ house, or even on this planet, and yet here one was, this most unexpected of males.
“The armed guards did not escape my notice,” he continued. “Will you tell me what is happening?”
Gods. Could I trust him? It had to be an omen, to meet a male capable of a soul bond and for him to offer aid.
Never asking for help hadn’t served me well, I supposed.
I set my jaw and looked him in the eye. “I am rescuing my brother.”
Saying it aloud strengthened me; the rightness of it settled in my chest.
Rokharu’s suave, competent mien dropped away, his jaw hanging open. A muscle twitched in his cheek. “Well, that I was not expecting. Especially as you do not have a brother.”
Sadness and anger beat a solemn cadence in my chest as I watched the sway of hypra blooms through the window.
“As Mother wishes you to believe. He is kept under house arrest. There is a longer story which, if plans go in my favour, you will hear. But if your integrity is as resolute as you have already shown, you would agree with my plan.” I huffed a laugh.
“She used you as a threat, you know, to keep me under her fist. I was never… Orithian enough for her.” I would never be enough for her.
I dragged my eyes to his. “If I’d met you, it would have been no threat at all.”
A smile lit his face again, and I turned away. “I shall take it as a compliment.”
“You should.” When had I complimented Garrison?
I didn’t want a relationship with Rokharu, yet we were sharing easy words. Over the last week—more than—Garrison and I hadn’t shared much more than strained silences.
Time to fix all this ulthshit.
My bones twinged, and as I rubbed my forearm, Rokharu tracked the movement.
“Show me your arm.” He seized my hand, and I growled but didn’t resist, frozen by what he uncovered.
Deeper stripes of colour decorated the inside of my elbow, trailing underneath and along the spines there.
Mating marks weren’t just a legend?
A myriad of emotions danced through his eyes. “Shohari, these marks are fresh.” His gaze went distant. “I remember when I received mine.” He sucked in a breath and returned to his formal bearing. “We need to get you back with your taamhia kizathi. What do we need to do?”
My taamhia kizathi. My soulbound mate.
A howl lodged in my throat, and I pushed it down. “I need to find my crew. And… my other companions.”
“Do I want to know who these companions are?” I tensed at his gruff tone, but the hand he placed on my arm was gentle, if stiff.
“I cannot pretend not to be outraged at the idea of outsiders touching our soil.” He swallowed, headspines twitching, the only emotion I’d seen from them.
With a terse set of his jaw, they stilled.
“As long as they mean Orith no harm and are leaving with you, I shall find it in me to pay no heed.”
I stepped into the window’s light and turned my face to the sun, letting his example seep into my bones. In this place where wearing a mask was compulsory, I had to trust, had to shed my prickly armour, had to be real.
Crossing the room to meet him, I placed my hands in his, ignoring the stinging protest in my bones.
“Thank you, Rokharu. I am touched by your kindness. Shall we pay my mother a visit? It might be advantageous to”—I sucked in a lungful of air—“pretend all is as she wishes for now. Buy some time for my friends to do as they need.”
He gave a deep incline of his head. “As you wish, mistress. It would be my pleasure.” He held out his arm. “Shall we?”
Of all the things I hadn’t expected to do today, I took the arm of Rokharu fei Sinla with a smile.