Chapter 16 #2
Elle’s Buccini fire erupted from her as she slammed her wineglass down on the table and twisted her head towards her brother, even as she kept talking to me. “I do not need my brother’s permission to date, Enzo. He does not control my life.”
“Actually, you do need my permission. You live under my roof and are my responsibility. Enzo very respectfully told me he was interested in dating you, and I agreed it would be a good match.”
Elle and Gio continued arguing back and forth about whose choice it was who she dated, and I kept my gaze fixed on the glass in my hand, feeling only the rage pulsing off Finn behind me. Elle stood up abruptly, storming towards the toilets, and Finn followed her.
Gio ran his hand through his hair. “Don’t worry, Aiani.
She’ll come around. It’s nothing to do with you.
It’s about me. She just loves fighting me on everything.
I probably should have pretended to be enraged by the idea, forbidden her from ever marrying you, and then she’d be all over you like a rash,” he chuckled.
My lips twitched, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile. I needed to speak to Finn. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sent another message.
It’s not what you think. Meet me at the flat after this, and I’ll explain.
Elenora returned to the table in a calmer mood, but Finn never replied to my text.
He stood like a statue for the rest of the meal and refused to look in my direction.
When Gio announced that the plan had worked and La Cassetta was no more, Elle had the most bizarre reaction, losing her shit at Gio, worried more about the people who worked there than anything else.
She fled the restaurant for a cigarette, with Finn at her side.
“Aiani,” Gio growled, annoyed by his sister’s rebellion. “Go after her. Talk some sense into her and bring her back inside. I’ve just started a war, and she’s standing on the street with only one bodyguard to protect her.”
I nodded and stood, making my way outside with two of my own soldiers.
I came face-to-face with the angriest Finn I’d ever seen.
The ice in his eyes sent a shiver down my spine as I held his gaze.
Elle was leaning against the building, texting on her phone.
As I stepped towards her, Finn blocked my path, a vein in his forehead pulsing with barely contained fury.
“I’d like to speak to Elenora. Alone,” I said, and his eyes narrowed to slits.
His gaze flicked over my shoulder to my men, and a muscle twitched in his tense jaw.
He stepped back, knowing he couldn’t cause a scene, and I exhaled, knowing I’d pay for that later.
I’d pay for this whole night later, but I never minded Finn’s punishments. In fact, I rather enjoyed them.
I approached Elle and asked if she was okay. Her reaction to her brother’s retaliation against the Leones surprised even me. She handed me a cigarette, and we lit up together, looking up at the clear night sky.
“I just don’t know why it has to be this way,” she breathed, her voice laced with pain.
“What way?”
“The rivalry. The brutality. Why can’t we all get along? The world is big enough for more than one big, bad mafia boss, I’m sure.”
I chuckled, glancing briefly at Finn to find him staring at his feet, but no doubt listening in. “Hmm, that’s not how we were raised. From the moment an heir is born, it is instilled in us that everyone is out to get us and that we can trust no one.”
“I’m sorry about how I acted when you told me about asking Gio,” she sighed.
“You mean how you lost your shit entirely at the thought of dating me?”
“No! I didn’t lose my shit entirely.”
I smirked at her, and she rolled her eyes. She explained what Gio had already told me; that it wasn’t because of me but because of him and his need to control her life, including telling her who she could and couldn’t date.
“I get it,” I breathed, peering at Finn’s lowered head, then back at my cigarette. “You want to choose who you want to be with on your own terms. But unfortunately, we don’t always get that privilege in this life.”
“You do. You’re a man.”
If only she knew how that made it worse.
I turned towards her, but made sure my voice was clear enough for Finn to hear me so he’d understand why the fuck I was doing this. I’d been nothing but honest with him about this, so I hoped he’d understand and see that this could benefit us all.
“I won’t force you to be with me, Elle. I like you.
I think you’re beautiful and a nice person.
I have to take a wife and produce an heir eventually, and I would prefer a wife who knows this life.
” Then she might better understand the danger of my situation when I tell her the truth, and she would keep my secret.
“But I’m not a complete asshole. I would never force a woman to marry me if she didn’t want to.
All I am asking for is a chance for you to get to know me. Make your own decisions about me.”
Surprisingly, my words seemed to soften her, and she agreed to think about it.
That was all I could have hoped for at that point.
I could tell she still needed a moment to gather her thoughts, so I warned her not to stay outside too long and left her with Finn.
As we passed each other, I brushed my fingers against his, as we always did, but he snapped his hand away.
Fuck. He was livid.
I paced the living room, staring at the front door, waiting for Finn to walk through it.
I knew he wouldn’t be off duty until Elle went to sleep, but it had been hours, and I started wondering if he’d even turn up at all.
He’d never been so angry with me. Even when we’d argued before and he’d stormed out, he’d always come back, and we’d have the best fucking make-up sex.
He opened the door at one in the morning, and I jumped up from the sofa, turning to face him. He glared at me, nostrils flaring, then stepped inside and slammed the door shut behind him.
“Finn,” I breathed, honestly relieved that he was there at all. “I thought you might not come.”
“I nearly didn’t,” he snarled, ripping off his jacket and running a hand down his face. “But then I realised something.”
“What?” I felt like a lamb trapped in a cage with a furious lion. One wrong move, and he’d tear me to pieces.
“That the only person who could give me the answers to why the hell my heart is being ripped from my fucking chest right now, making me want to kill someone, is standing in this apartment.”
I licked my lips and walked into the kitchen. He looked like he could use a drink or ten to calm down. “Do you want a drink?”
“No. I don’t want a fucking drink! I want you to tell me what the hell is going on in your fucked-up head, Enzo. You’re trying to date my best fucking friend.”
I paused, bracing my hands against the kitchen island and softening my gaze. “She’s not your best friend, Finn. I know you care about her, but she’s your job. I’ve told you this before. You need to draw a professional line with her.”
That was the wrong thing to say. He stormed towards me, grabbed my shirt, and slammed me against the fridge.
His fist reared back, ready to strike. I stared, unmoving.
If he wanted to punch me in the face, I wasn’t going to stop him.
If it made him feel better, fine. I was the reason he was so livid, and I probably deserved it, but it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
His fist shook, and he bared his teeth at me before slamming me back into the fridge and letting me go. He stormed away, his fists clenched.
“Finn, I was going to explain this before tonight, but we kept missing each other. I didn’t want you to find out this way.”
“Find out what exactly? That you’re leaving me for my best friend because she has a fucking pussy, which makes your life more convenient?”
“No!” I yelled, moving towards him. He had it all wrong. “I’m not leaving you! I’d never leave you, Finn. That isn’t what this is.”
He stopped pacing, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips tightening.
“Max told Giovanni I was interested in her, and Gio gave me the green light. He said he approved of me marrying his sister. And… it makes sense, Finn. Elle is the best option for me. Gio trusts that I’ll look after her.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “Every fucking word that comes out of your mouth makes it harder not to punch you, Enzo. Do you think Gio would trust you and let you marry her if he knew the truth?”
“Which is exactly why I need to marry her, Finn!” I snapped.
Why didn’t he get it? “I’m a dead man walking without a powerful marriage alliance and an heir!
Marrying Elenora Buccini is my fucking lifeline!
And ours, too. You’re her bodyguard. You’d live with me!
We could tell her about us after we’re married. ”
“So you want to trick her? And you think she’d be okay with it? Are you listening to yourself, Enzo? These are people’s lives you’re messing with. Elenora’s and mine!”
“And mine!” I shouted, matching his hostility with mounting agitation. “What better choice do I have?”
“Uh, how about not marrying my best fucking friend and trapping her in a life of lies and secrets, where she will be miserable? Where we will all be miserable!”
I dropped my head back and tried to find some patience. How could I make him see that this would all work out?
“You’re too upset to see it now. I understand.
But in a few days, you’ll realise this is actually a great situation for us.
We’ll be together all the time, and Elenora will keep our secret because she loves you.
I’ll let her have discreet affairs and give her the freedom she craves. Finn, it’s a win-win.”
He stared at me as if I were a stranger. I stilled. That look was more terrifying than his anger. In fact, there was no sign of anger in his expression at all. Just pain. He dropped onto the sofa and rested his head in his hands.
My gut twisted, and guilt spread through my veins because I knew I was to blame.
This was because of me. Because of who I was and who I could never be.
Because of what I could never give him. And I hated it.
I hated being born with the name Aiani and what it meant. But I was too selfish to let him go.
I sat beside him and pressed my forehead to his temple. He exhaled a shaky breath, his hunched shoulders trembling.
“Finn, I’m sorry. I know this isn’t how we'd like it to be, but I’m trying. I’m trying to find a solution, a way for us to be together and stay safe. Just… trust me. This will work for us.”
He lifted his head and pressed his hands to his mouth. He looked… devastated.
“Finn…”
“I can’t—” He jumped up from the sofa, putting distance between us that suddenly felt more than physical. “I can’t believe I have to do this.”
“What?” I whispered, but my stomach was already knotting itself. My instincts knew exactly where this was going, yet my mind refused to acknowledge it.
“I never thought I’d have to break up with someone I’m hopelessly and madly in love with.”
I stood up, diving for him, but he pulled back, his outstretched arm telling me not to touch him. “Finn. We’re not breaking up! You aren’t listening. I’m doing this for us so we can always be together.”
“No.” He shook his head, tears in his eyes that I knew he’d never let fall. “You’re doing this for yourself. There is no us in this decision.”
“That’s not true! I’m fighting for us, Finn. The only way I know how.”
He nodded, placing his hands on his hips. “I know you believe that, but this isn’t the way.”
“What other way is there? Tell me,” I shouted, losing my damn mind. “I love you, Finn. I love you so fucking much, but I’m terrified. Every morning, I wake up believing this will be the day I die. I can’t live like that.”
“And I can’t live like this,” he said, staring into my eyes. “I love you too, but the ugly truth is that being in love doesn’t always mean you’re happy. I’m not happy, and I won’t be if you marry Elle and keep me as your bit on the side. Do you know how that feels?”
“Finn, please.”
He stepped closer and grabbed my face. “Choose me.”
I closed my eyes, pressing my trembling lips to his as my hands slid through his hair. “I do choose you, Finn. Why can’t you see I’m doing this for us?”
He exhaled against my lips, then let me go. “You’re doing this because you’re scared. But I don’t live in fear, Enzo. I can’t. This is over.”
My eyes widened as he slammed the card key onto the kitchen island, grabbed his jacket, and marched towards the door.
My body sprang into action. He couldn’t leave me.
I wouldn’t let him. He was angry. He just needed to calm down and think straight.
And I knew exactly how to remind him why he would never leave.
I grabbed him, swinging him around so his back slammed into the wall.
My lips crashed into his, my hands clawing through his hair as my body caged him in.
For a second, he kissed me back with the same fire and aggression, our tongues locked in a battle of wills, and I thought we were safe.
This was us, blending back in sync. But then he shoved me off so hard I stumbled back, falling into the table. We panted, our gazes locked.
“No more,” he breathed with a gentle shake of his head. And then he was gone.
I stared at the door, unable to believe he’d really refused me.
He’d actually left. My knees buckled, and I fell to the floor, my hand still gripping the table for support.
Shock gave way to denial. He’d come back.
He just needed time. A few hours. Maybe a few days.
Weeks, even. He’d come back. Denial hardened into determination.
I’d prove to him that this would work. I’d get him back.
I continued to message and call him every day for weeks. All went unanswered. Every night I sat in that apartment, waiting for hours, but he never showed. Finn Rossetti was stubborn, but so was I.
I thought I knew what was best for us, but it turned out I was a clueless, deluded fool.
I was fighting for the wrong thing. I was fighting to survive.
When I should have been fighting for happiness.