Chapter 4
The halls of the third floor are quiet and empty as I sneak through the corridors. I assume most of the healers are tucked away for the night, much like the rest of the school, but I’m not familiar with their schedules and practices. Training ended hours ago, as did dinner, but I remain cautious as I traverse the building. I’d rather no one knows I’m checking up on the mysterious newcomer.
When the strong odor of herbs makes my nose twitch, I slow even more. I don’t know if there will be someone watching over her or if she’s even still here. I wanted to return earlier, but Headmistress Syrinx sent for me, and that was a request I couldn’t ignore. Her questions were mostly focused on the girl, and not on the fact that I took her to the healers. I was prepared to explain how I found her on the trail again, but Syrinx already seemed to know how I located her, and surprisingly, she didn’t doubt the story. She did ask if I had any further details, and I informed her I didn’t, which she seemed more hesitant to believe. However, there was no way I was going to admit I feel a strange pull to the creature, especially when I don’t understand it myself.
When the door to the infirmary comes into view, my heart rate spikes with anticipation. The urgency to see my creature again drives me to cast shadows and shift into the room without taking precautions to make sure she is alone, but I have faith in my ability to keep me obscured. I remember the layout easily and coalesce in the corner farthest from the windows and any light they may produce.
Her scent fills the area, covering the medicinal odor of herbs and salves that permeated the halls. My heart slows, yet the desire to be closer to her doesn’t lessen with her nearness. If anything, it intensifies. I know we’re alone before I can assess the room. Either that or my senses are only attuned to her, which is almost enough to frighten me. I drag my eyes from the bed where she lies and force myself to evaluate the space to be sure no one else is here.
I like knowing I have her to myself. Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m halfway across the room and heading straight for her. The urge to be close enough to touch her startles me. It’s not an impulse I’m used to battling. My shoes are soundless as I stop two cots away, but she still shifts as if she can sense my nearness. Her head turns in my direction, allowing me to see the tattooed vines on the side of her neck that disappear under her shirt.
I wait to see if self-preservation will warn her of my approach and fully wake her, but several heartbeats pass without her stirring further. Still, I keep my distance. I don’t feel entirely in control of my own actions at the moment. My gaze traces her delicate features, wondering how this creature could possibly survive in a place like this. I wanted to prod Syrinx about her, to find out what ability she possesses that set the institute’s attention on her, but I didn’t want to give away my interest in her more than I probably already had.
As the minutes tick by with only the steady sound of her breathing, I finally start to calm, and I find myself mimicking her inhales. It makes me question if even our hearts are synced. I take a step forward with the intent to find out, but thankfully, I remember I can’t touch her before it’s too late. For that reason alone, I back up to the farthest corner of the room. I’ve never experienced the impulse to touch someone the way I do her. It’s a cruel, new torture I wasn’t prepared for, yet I know I will learn to deal with it.
As my thoughts twist, there’s one I’ve been ignoring for a while, but I’m finding it harder and harder to disregard. It seems more than brutal to think it’s possible, but without any other explanation for my fixation with the creature available, it seems almost likely that the gods have decided to punish me further by giving me a mate I will never be permitted to touch. A hot spike of indignant rage has me curling my hands into useless fists. There’s no one to fight with, to appeal to. I’m helpless, which isn’t something I’m familiar with at all.
My mind tries to come to terms with the possibility of what this could mean. Without the capacity to touch her, the bond between us could never be completed, but I very much doubt the pull I feel toward her will lessen. Will she know the same torment? Will I be able to resist? Am I strong enough to leave her if I must, to maintain both our sanities?
Hours pass, and when she finally starts to wake, I’m conflicted on whether or not I should stay. I want to, there’s no doubt about that, but is it worse being here to see and smell her without the ability to be near her, or leaving her alone and trying to pretend she doesn’t exist?
My creature lifts her head off the pillow and glances around with squinted eyes after pretending to be asleep for a few more moments. The chance I had to leave is gone, but I knew I wouldn’t be going anywhere. There’s no way I could leave her unprotected here or anywhere else.
From clear across the room, I hear her stomach growl, and it pains me to know she’s hungry while knowing I can’t provide for her. Her scent, musky and sweet, sours before she curls on her side with her hand over her stomach. It’s a practiced move, something that tells me this isn’t the first time she’s gone without. Just as I’m about to show myself, to go find her something to eat, the door to the room opens and in walks Ziv.
As he saunters across the floor, seemingly eager to reach my creature, I think about killing him, if only for the simple fact that I could. I doubt it would ease the frustration and resentment I feel, but it wouldn’t make it worse either.
When he reaches for her so easily, placing her against the headboard of the cot as if she’s too weak to do it herself, I revisit the idea of ending him. It’s only her soft words, spoken like a caress, that keep me enthralled enough to ignore him. I hang on her every word, longing to be closer to her, but I settle for eavesdropping to glean any information I can. I take solace in knowing that I will someday kill her father after learning he’s the reason she was left to walk up the mountain.
Her bright eyes are sharp, but she keeps them averted from Ziv in a way that makes me question why she seems timid, and it reaffirms my worries about her being at the institute. The others here will see her softness and try to exploit it or crush her. I’m not going to be able to let her out of my sight…not that I planned on it anyway.
When Ziv tells her she’s lucky I found her, a shot of pride strengthens my core. The fact that she agrees so easily is even more profound.
I listen closely when she asks why she’s here, hoping I will learn of her gift, but neither of them gives anything away about her ability, other than she tried to conceal herself in some way in an effort to avoid coming here. Most think it’s a great accomplishment to be selected to attend, and that it means you’re the best, but the reality is none of us can take credit for what we can do. We can develop the skills we’re born with, but we don’t manifest them. The gods are the only ones with that control.
“Briar,” she states firmly, as if Ziv calling her by her surname was wrong in some way. It’s the first time she meets the other male’s eyes, and I find myself wondering why it’s so important to her.
Ziv mutters something, but I’m not paying enough attention to him to make out what he said. I do notice when Briar throws her legs off the bed, preparing to rise. Even more noticeable is the way her cheeks flame as she drops her gaze to the ground. Now I really regret not paying attention, because I want to know what he said to cause such a reaction.
She stands for just a moment, then her knees buckle as if she’s going to drop right back to the bed. Ziv is quick to catch her, keeping her on her feet. On instinct, I take a step forward, but when Ziv rips his touch from Briar, I settle back into the shadows. The next few moments between them are filled with an awkward tension.
When Ziv speaks again, his tone is purposely flat. “I will show you to your room.”
I wait for several long moments after they clear the doorway to trail after them in an effort to make sure they don’t realize they are being followed. I’m honestly a little surprised Ziv didn’t notice I was in the room, but he didn’t seem to be aware of me at all. Keeping myself swathed in shadows, I track the two of them down to the main floor, then over to the dorms. It’s going to get much harder to monitor them without anyone’s knowledge, so I fall back with hopes that the abnormality of her being shown to her room by our head combat instructor in the wee hours of the morning will cause enough of a stir to get people talking about them, and they won’t notice me stalking them.
When I was biding my time earlier, before I could return to her, I scoped out the dorms, looking for vacant rooms they may put her in. With that information in mind, I make the quick decision to head to one of the halls that had two unoccupied rooms, but before I break away, I notice a few novices still lingering in the halls, tempting the fates by being out of their room at this hour. As Ziv and Briar walk down the hall ahead of me, I catch more students emerging from their rooms instead of running for cover, confirming I was right about her arrival causing a stir in the dorms.
I go unnoticed as I blend with the others peering out doors and blatantly standing in the halls. The news of her arrival travels fast through the ranks, ensuring almost everyone is out of their rooms. My creature keeps her head up and her eyes trained straight ahead, allowing me to get a good long look at her delicate features and sharp gold eyes.
Whispers follow in their wake. Some are questioning why Ziv is escorting her, while others seem more interested in who she is and where she came from. I find myself holding my breath the closer she gets. Every cell in my body is fighting to announce myself to her, and to snarl at everyone sneering at her back with suspicion.
I exhale like I just took a hit to my gut when her eyes dart in my direction, and her golden irises gleam with something like recognition. Every fiber of my being is keyed to her as if she trapped the breath in my chest. I find it impossible to look away, even as she continues to stroll past me, breaking the connection. It’s not until she and Ziv turn the corner, heading toward one of the other empty rooms, that I actually start to breathe again. It takes effort to keep my feet rooted to the spot, even as the questions of who and what she is grow louder and more insistent.
I barely remember walking back to my room. All I can think about is her eyes on mine, as if she knew me or felt the connection we share. My guts feel like someone just shoved a corkscrew down my throat and gave them a mix. I don’t know if I want to throw up or peel my skin off. The one thing I know is that I want to see her again, and I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to fight the urge.