Chapter 5
The deeper we get into the residence halls, the more of a spectacle I become. Figures scurry out of rooms to openly stare at me, and Ziv does nothing to dissuade them from doing so. I keep my eyes locked on the space ahead of me, not making eye contact with anyone or even acknowledging them until we round a corner and deep blue skin catches my attention. The image of the male from my thoughts solidifies, bringing him into focus. He’s stunning in an otherworldly way. His eyes glow an eerie purple much lighter than his rich skin tone and are offset by his inky shaggy hair. He doesn’t have a pupil, but I know he’s returning my gaze without question. My stomach drops, and I swallow convulsively, until it’s as if my body can’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing anymore.
I force myself to break eye contact when I move past him, even though I’m tempted to turn my head to keep him within sight for a moment or two longer. When we finally turn the corner ahead, my shoulders sag in what I’m going to call relief, even though I don’t really have the proper words to describe it.
Ziv shifts his attention to me long enough to relay the fact that he noticed my distraction, but he doesn’t question me about it. If I were braver, I might ask him to confirm that was Kage, the male who found me, but I’m not.
It takes me a heartbeat to realize Ziv has stopped, so I end up taking a step too far and nearly colliding with his shoulder and arm, but thankfully, my body reacts for me, almost repelling me back with the memory of his strange touch fresh in my head. I turn my attention to the door he’s standing in front of. There’s a small window above my eye level, with an iron cage barring it. If I had to bet, it’s to keep whatever’s inside there, not to stop anyone from getting in.
“It’s for your protection,” Ziv mutters under his breath so only I can hear him, but his effort is wasted since we’re alone now. There are no prying eyes watching my every move…at least that I can see anyway. There are other closed doors with similar protection cages, and for all I know, there are monsters behind each window, biding their time to escape. The bars on the window don’t make me feel safe, they remind me I’m trapped.
The large male beside me grasps the iron ring hanging from the door and turns his wrist before shoving the heavy door open, revealing a dark room. I glance over at him, wondering if he’s expecting me to walk blindly inside and dreading the thought I might not have a choice. He seems to sense my unease and enters ahead of me. His back is swallowed up within two steps, but only for a breath. Light flickers to life, illuminating the sparsely appointed room. The space is small but still much more than I could have hoped for back home, where I had to share a room with a number of people. I won’t get into why I was appreciative of that on most occasions, because my head is already in a dark enough space for now.
I scan the room, purposely avoiding Ziv, who seems to be taking in the sight as much as I am as he spins to assess the room. The wood floor is worn smooth but clean, the bed under the single window is wide enough for two people, and the mattress looks much thicker than the one I was lying on upstairs.
“Is there someone else staying here?” I glance at the wardrobe and the small desk, wondering if I’m missing their belongings.
“No, it will just be you. Why do you ask?” From the corner of my eye, I see Ziv squinting at me in confusion. He probably thinks I’m an idiot. Clearly the room was empty before my arrival.
“The bed is huge, but I’d rather take the floor than share it with a stranger,” I answer to give some sort of explanation, even if it makes me look foolish.
He looks over his shoulder and softly mutters, “It’s less than half the size of mine,” then adds, “These rooms are usually held for those who are more…” He glances back at me again and tilts his head. “Larger.” I get the impression he was going to say more powerful and corrected himself, but it’s unnecessary. I know my place, and it will never be among the powerful.
“You may place your things in…” He trails off, only now remembering I don’t have any items to place anywhere. “I will have some things delivered for you,” he amends.
“I’ll manage,” I reply dismissively. I don’t want to be indebted to him or anyone else, nor do I have a way to pay him back anyway, because I don’t think they will pay me for my services any more than my father did.
The tension in the room only grows from that moment. I take a chance and look over at him, because the heavy silence is too much to bear. When our gazes collide, he slowly states, “I will have things delivered for you.”
I don’t argue with him this time, since his tone offers no room for it. Instead, I drop my gaze, pretending to find the floor very interesting.
“Little flower,” he calls, dragging my attention back to him. He waits several long seconds before speaking, as if to make sure I’m paying attention, or maybe he just wants to make me wait. “I’m going to get you something to eat.” I open my mouth to object, but he silences me with a look. “Do not open the door for anyone but me, do you understand?”
I nod quickly. I’d probably agree to just about anything right now, especially if it means I’m going to get some food. “Tomorrow, I will show you the mess hall. The student facilities are closed for the night.”
“Okay,” I agree again.
“Don’t open the door for anyone else,” he reminds me. I’m starting to wonder who he’s worried about, but I don’t question him. With one final glare in my direction, Ziv pulls the heavy door open and exits the room. I notice he ducks his head when passing through the doorframe—good thing, too, because I’m certain he would have gotten a nasty goose egg on his forehead if he hadn’t.
I spin once the door is closed behind him, taking advantage of my time alone to inspect the room. I leave no door or drawer unopened but find nothing for my efforts, other than a dust bunny or two under the bed in the far back corner when I flip up the blanket. Just as I prepare to rise, I notice a floorboard that’s a little higher than all the others. I drop down onto my belly and reach under the bed, only to hear a loud knock at the door. I hop up so fast, I end up smacking my knee on the side of the bed and have to bite my lip to keep from yelping in pain.
When the knock sounds again, even louder this time, I balk. I don’t even know if I’m supposed to answer it. People didn’t knock at my father’s house, they barged in, as privacy wasn’t something many of us were afforded. I limp toward the door and lift up on my toes to peer out the square window, but I’m not tall enough to see out properly.
“Briar?” Ziv’s deep voice, edged with a tremor of urgency, rings through the wood at the same time the sound of the handle twisting registers. I don’t move back fast enough and end up getting bowled over by the door.
He looks even taller when I look up from the floor after landing on my ass. I think I must have caught him off guard, or at the very least startled him, because his liquid silver eyes are comically large for the briefest moment before he lets out a string of curses that would sear a demon’s horns.
“What are you doing? Why didn’t you answer the door?” he chastises while pulling me up to my feet with one hand and balancing a heavy plate in the other. My mouth waters the minute the aroma hits my nose, and I’ll admit, the thought of answering him isn’t even close to what’s on my mind.
As a matter of fact, the only thing I’m thinking about is climbing up his body and snatching the dish to see how much I can shove in my mouth before he backhands me and if it would be worth it. Long seconds pass without another word spoken, and I realize he’s staring down at me with a strange look on his face while I’m ogling the food. He must think I’m a savage.
I step back and run my knuckle under my lip, just in case I really was drooling, but I can’t force my eyes from the plate. I think I see meat of some kind. That must be what that delicious odor is. My father would occasionally have meat, but he never shared, not even with his sons.
“Little flower,” Ziv says softly, and I chance a look at him. If he makes me watch him eat it and offers to let me lick his fingers as my father tried to get me to do, I would do it. “When was the last time you ate?” His head tilts to the side with the question. I’m picking up his cues, and I think that means he’s really interested in the answer.
I tell him the truth. “I don’t remember.”
“Today?” he prompts, and I shake my head. “Yesterday?”
I shake my head again but decide to come up with something because I have a feeling he won’t stop asking until he’s satisfied. “I had some berries.”
His eyebrows furrow so deeply, I know the answer bothered him, probably because I wasn’t specific enough. “Two days ago.” When his nostrils flare at my answer, I add, “And some bread.” It’s a lie, but just a small one.
He slowly lowers his arm, bringing the plate closer to me. I’m tempted to snatch it from his hand, but I know better than to steal, especially from someone bigger and stronger than me. “Go sit down.” The words rumble from deep within his chest. I cross my ankles and bend my knees, then drop directly to the floor near his feet.
“Get up!” He hauls me back up before I can get my feet under me again. I’m going to get whiplash if he doesn’t stop jerking me around. Unlike the last time he helped me up, he doesn’t release me as quickly. Instead, he lowers his head until our faces are level. The snarl on his lips has me pulling my head back as far as I can get in a bid to create some space between us.
“Sorry,” I blurt out. I want to avert my eyes, but I can’t seem to look away from him. It’s as if my brain insists on knowing when the attack will come.
He ignores my apology. “Which village did you come from?”
“Rale,” I supply immediately.
Ziv eases back slowly and releases my arm. I drop down on my heels, not even realizing I lifted onto my toes to ease his hold. “Go sit on the bed.” He lowers his eyes from my face, and I skitter away to do as I’m told, sitting on the very edge of the bed. By the time I look up, his back is to me, and my stomach sinks in disappointment. He isn’t going to share the food. I take solace in knowing I won’t have to watch him eat. My father took great pleasure in that particular torture.
After only a short moment, Ziv faces me again. My eyes drop to the plate, expecting it to be empty, but it’s not. In fact, it doesn’t look like he ate any of the food. Hope rekindles in my gut that I try to quash, but as he extends his hand while approaching, I lose the battle. When the heavy dish hits my thighs, I have to force myself not to cover it with my hands or grab the thick white bone sticking out of the meat and shove it into my mouth.
“Eat, little flower,” Ziv intones somberly. My hand twitches, but I keep my eyes on the large male in front of me. This could be some sort of a trap, but I’m too desperate, too hungry not to risk it. I finally drop my gaze to the food and spy the largest piece of meat available. My mouth waters as I fist the white bone just as I imagined and extend it toward Ziv. My arm actually trembles a little under the weight, or maybe I’m just that anxious.
“It’s safe.” He misunderstands my offer, assuming I want him to test it.
I shake my head. “I would rather die happily with a full belly than worry about poison. Don’t you want some?”
Ziv crouches, placing his elbows on his knees, and evaluates me with a critical eye. “You would share, even though you’re clearly starving?” His head is tilted again.
“Considering I wouldn’t have it if you didn’t give it to me…” I leave my reply open-ended and hope my proposal speaks for itself. I know there are ways to earn favor, and they are not above me.
Ziv leans forward, his razor-sharp canines bared, and takes a bite of the meat still in my grip while his eyes are locked on mine. My stomach does this weird flip-flop, causing me to squeeze my thighs together for some reason. I wasn’t expecting him to do that or my reaction to it. Heat crawls up my neck, and I would bet my cheeks are red.
I push the meat toward him again, hoping he’ll take it this time, but he just licks the corner of his mouth and chews slowly as he savors the bite. “Eat the rest.” He nods his head at the meat still in my grip.
I tear off my first bite, almost managing to sink my teeth into the same spot he bit. Thick juices spill down my chin, but I don’t care as the meat melts in my mouth. “Oh gods, that… What is this?” I whisper in awe while still chewing. I’ve never tasted anything so decadent in my life.
“Beef.” His brow is furrowed again, but I don’t waste time examining him, nor do I waste another drop of the succulent juices when I finish off the beef so there isn’t even a morsel left on the bone.
The plate is still heaped with food, but I know if I eat another bite, I could risk making myself sick. Even now, I can feel the weight of the food heavy in my belly.
As I’m staring mournfully down at the plate, Ziv reaches out, and I flinch back. His silver eyes swirl so quickly, I almost get dizzy at the sight. He inches forward slowly until his thumb swipes under my bottom lip, then he pulls away. My tongue makes a natural path along the same one he took before I start to use my sleeve to clean my face better, but I stop in my tracks when he sucks the same thumb he used into his mouth. My belly flops again, but this time, when the flush hits my cheeks, I understand why it’s happening. I only pray he doesn’t notice.
I make a point of looking down at my lap to avoid his gaze. It’s not hard to understand why I would develop a crush on Ziv. One look at him is all it would take for most, but the fact that he gave me food and has been nice catapults him to near godhood, not to mention I’m pretty sure he actually is a fallen deity of some kind. The sting of embarrassment overrides the fascination warming my belly.
As if he can sense my unease, Ziv rises to his feet and creates some much needed space between us, even though the room is too small and he is too large for anyone to ever truly escape his presence. He starts backing toward the door, and a strange sense of nervousness combined with acceptance fills me. I’m not looking forward to being locked in the room, but at least I’ll be alone.
“When I leave, you need to lock the door,” he instructs.
I peer around him, looking at the handle. “How?” I ask, placing the plate on the bed so I can rise.
From the corner of my eye, I see his head snap around as if he’s surprised by my question. “How what?”
“How do I lock the door?” I examine the metalwork on the door, but it’s completely foreign to me.
Ziv mumbles something under his breath, probably commenting on how simple I am, but I’d rather look like an idiot than leave the door unlocked, so I don’t have much of a choice. With purposeful movements, he shuffles me out of the way, takes hold of the iron next to the door, and flips it to cover the heavy wood, then he uses his boot against the door to secure it in place before twisting a rather delicate knob that makes a clinking noise when the iron shifts, digging into the floor and ceiling, effectively barring the door. Without prompting, he twists the knob again, showing me how to unlock the latch. “This isn’t foolproof, but it’s the best the rooms have to offer.”
I take a long look at the weathered metal, wondering who or what is strong enough to make it ineffective, and decide I don’t want to know.
“Next time I knock, answer the door.” He jerks the wood open as if it weighs nothing and ducks under the frame, disappearing like he couldn’t wait to be gone.
I close the door quietly but quickly and have to use both hands to force the latch into place. Thankfully, the knob twists easily, sinking the rod back into the stone floor and ceiling. I spin, placing my back to the door, giving into the temptation to make sure I truly am alone. Satisfied, I pad over to the bed and pick at the remaining food. I hate the thought of it going to waste, but I also don’t want to make myself sick. I have no clue where a privy is or feel the desire to locate one.
I eventually ease myself back onto the bed as weariness weighs on me. It’s surprising I could even still be drowsy after being asleep for what must have been hours, but I am bone-tired. Thankfully, when I close my eyes after staring at the ceiling for a short while, my mind is empty of thoughts, allowing me to fall into the abyss waiting for me.