Chapter 21
Vienna
Everything I’ve Been Missing
Oh God. He wants to see where this goes.
You need to be honest with him, Vienna—about everything.
“But the other reason I haven’t dated is because I hated the idea that Ellis would think I was trying to replace her mom,” Rhonan continues as my thoughts start to spiral.
“You—you were worried that Ellis would think that? Or was that another worst-case thought?”
He drags his free hand over his mouth. “Both, I guess. Moving on is something I’m not familiar with at all, baby.”
He just called me “baby.”
Oh God, I’m so doomed.
“Moving on doesn’t mean we’re forgetting about people, Rhonan. At least I know for me, it helps me remember Lydia even more, like she’s still with me for every decision that I make. Hell, I wouldn’t be here with you if it weren’t for her.”
He nods. “And I’m grateful for that. I just have a hard time believing that everything happens for a reason. I used to, but then…”
“Something bad happened,” I finish for him.
Nodding, he exhales heavily. “But seeing you with my daughter?” He toys with my bottom lip. “It’s making me think maybe the entire reason I haven’t moved on since Sarah is because I was waiting for you.”
“You’re laying it on thick tonight, Rhonan Hart.”
He chuckles as he brushes my hair from my face. “I think you’re the only person who could show me that it’s okay to be happy again. I don’t think I would have believed it if it were anyone else.”
Before I start sobbing in the middle of this restaurant, I crash my mouth into his, kissing him and savoring every second of his touch because I never knew that I could feel this way about another human.
The lack of experience I have in love threatens to disturb my happiness, but every second I spend with Rhonan is rewiring my brain.
I’m such a fool.
I’ve wasted so much time.
No, time is never wasted, Vienna. It’s spent learning lessons and using your newfound knowledge to live with purpose moving forward.
I swirl my tongue against his as we swallow each other’s moans.
“You’d better stop that before I hoist you up on this table and eat you for dinner,” Rhonan growls against my lips.
A throat clears behind us.
When we part, we find our waiter and two other servers standing there.
“Your—your meal is ready,” the waiter says, clearly uncomfortable.
Rhonan adjusts himself under the table and I fix my hair as they set our plates in front of us.
Right after they leave, Rhonan mutters, “I think we were just judged really hard by those people.”
My chest shakes with laughter. “I don’t even care.”
He leans over to me and presses one more chaste kiss to my mouth. “Good, me neither.”
After we sample each element of our dishes, Rhonan wipes his mouth. “Okay, so I’ve told you about my past. What about yours?”
“Oh. I, uh…”
“Vienna,” he cuts in. “I want to know. You know about all of my scars—it’s time you show me a few of your own. What made you run off to Blossom Peak?”
He’s right. The man just bared the worst moments of his life to me, and I know that if I want any chance of a future with him, I need to do the same.
Taking a sip of wine for strength, I prepare to tell him the important things. “You caught that phrase, did you?”
“I’m a sheriff. It’s in my nature to pay attention to details.”
“Yeah, well… I wouldn’t say that I ran. I actually hate running, much like you hate yoga.”
Rhonan growls. “It’s actually stupid how difficult it was.”
His comment makes me laugh. “I tried to warn you. But does this mean you’re not going to do it again?”
He shakes his head. “No, actually, I’m going to prove that I can do it now. I hate not being good at something.” He lifts another bite of his steak to his mouth. “Back to you though. Home was D.C., right?”
“Yes, and there was someone in my life that I left back there.”
“A man?”
“Uh huh.” I toy with my hands in my lap, debating how to explain this to him even though I’ve gone over this conversation in my head numerous times at this point.
But right now? Nothing I’ve prepared to say is coming to the surface.
“We met when we were young and in college. He was…charming, came from a good family, and my parents adored him. As an only child, you can imagine the pressure I might have felt to make my parents happy, especially since I felt like an afterthought to them.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, they chose to have a child but then acted like I was a hindrance to their life, not a blessing.”
His jaw ticks. “I see.”
“Anyway, Cole gave me the attention I guess I was so desperately seeking, so as soon as we graduated from college, I moved in with him and we got married.”
Rhonan’s eyes widen. “You were…you were married?”
“Yes,” I say, not sure if now’s the time to explain all the details about that. “Lydia never liked Cole,” I continue. “And as my best friend, I should have listened to her more, but I was blinded by him, Rhonan. Until…”
His spine stiffens. “Until what?”
“Until things weren’t good anymore,” I say, not ready to get into everything else that made my marriage fall apart.
“Did he get physical with you?”
“No, but he was emotionally and verbally abusive. I lost so much of myself that it was too late when I finally realized that I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.
” Telling him this makes me want to hide under the table, like he’s going to look at me differently now, like he might feel that the Vienna Lewis he’s gotten to know can’t possibly be the woman I’m describing right now.
Rhonan pulls me into his chest, burying his hand in my hair and breathing me in deeply. “I am so sorry, Vienna. But I respect you for leaving a relationship that wasn’t healthy. That takes a lot of courage and strength.”
His words quiet those doubts I was just thinking of almost instantly.
“You deserve so much better than that,” he continues.
“I know that now,” I whisper back.
He releases me and smooths my hair from my face again. “What made you finally decide to leave?”
“It was Lydia, actually. A few days before she died, she said, ‘I’m not going to be here to look out for you anymore, Vienna. So I need you to start looking out for yourself.’” The memory makes me grow emotional.
“She died before I left, but I finally did because when you lose someone, it can make you reassess the way you’re living, you know? ”
He nods. “And do you feel like you’re doing that? Living differently?”
I take a second to consider my answer. “I do in some ways. I mean, I never would have ridden a mechanical bull before losing her.” We both smile at the memory.
“But let’s just say that you’re not the only one with something to fear, Rhonan.
I’m afraid that I’m going to let myself get blinded again from the truth, and it terrifies me. ”
He frames my face with his hands. “I can fucking promise you that I will never make you question how I feel about you, or how real this is.”
This man. God, I think—I think I might love him.
“Pinky promise?” I hold out my pinky to him, watching the corner of his mouth lift before he intertwines his pinky with mine.
“I promise, Vienna. You’re mine now.”
Rubbing my nose against his, I say, “I never really liked that possessive title before you, Rhonan.”
“Anything before me was just practice for the real thing then. Let’s think of it that way.”
“I like that.”
His lips find mine, kissing me softly as I taste the food and wine on his tongue.
“You know, we’re going to have to watch the kissing in front of Ellis moving forward,” Rhonan says when we part and I pick up my fork again.
“Because she thinks it’s gross?”
“Yeah.”
“That might be hard,” I say, placing a piece of my steak in my mouth and smiling as I chew. “I sort of like kissing you. But I adore your kid too.”
He licks his lips, smiling back at me. “You know, I love that you light up when you talk about my daughter. Honestly, it’s one of my favorite things about you and a big part of the reason I feel comfortable pursuing this.
But I want to know what lights you up, Vienna. What makes you light up on the inside?”
I finish chewing. “What do you mean?”
“Like, for me? There is nothing that makes me happier than hearing Ellis’s laugh.”
“Oh, I agree.”
“But also, the meatball sub from The Happy Belly Deli.”
“Is it that incredible?”
He moans as he closes his eyes. “You have no idea, baby.”
“I think you and Joey from Friends could be best friends.”
“We could, I assure you.”
“What else?”
He looks toward the ceiling as he thinks.
“I mean, I love when my father gets excited about a new blend of wine that he’s working on and shows me what he’s thinking before everyone else.
And, I love when I get to turn the sirens on in my cruiser because, contrary to what you might think, I don’t get to do that very often. ”
“Not too many crimes and emergencies in Blossom Peak, are there?”
“Nope. But now it’s your turn. Tell me what makes you tick, Vienna.”
The casually laid-back man sitting in the booth with me is someone I barely recognize, but damn, do I like the vibe of him too. I mean, the grumpy, closed-off single dad was a turn-on to begin with. But this man? The one who’s relaxed and genuine? The one who is honestly interested in me?
Yeah, this is the man I’m head over heels for.
“Well, I love the smell after it rains,” I start, thinking about what would be things that make me appreciate being alive. “I love coming home to Roscoe.”
“I still can’t believe you never had a pet before him.”
“Cole hated animals,” I say without thinking.
Rhonan’s smile falls. “I hate him even more now. What kind of person hates animals?” Clearing his throat, he says, “But continue, please.”