Chapter Twelve
“You okay?” Austin asks as we head toward the final address on my list.
I look at him and shrug. “Honestly, I don’t know. For as long as I can remember, this town has been like an albatross around my neck. My father might have been the bully, but everyone else just stood around and watched as he beat me down again and again. I was convinced everyone hated me.”
“And now?”
“And now, it feels like everyone just hates themselves. I don’t know if they’re feeding off the land or the land is siphoning off their emotions, but everything has become so toxic sometimes it’s hard to see a silver lining.”
“Hope can be a dangerous thing.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know the town’s history, or some of it at least. I know you’re connected to the land just like the ones who came before you.
And though power manifested differently in all descendants, one thing remains the same—a Hart was always the heart of this place.
Cutting it out is the fastest way to watch the land rot away.
I saw the writing on the wall a year after you were gone.
That’s why I moved. There was nothing good left here, nothing grew, nothing flourished. A curse had fallen on the place.”
I flinch. There is some truth to that. Though it wasn’t my intention, I remember lying in the dirt, feeling violated and in pain, where I purged that darkness into the soil beneath me. Did I do this? Did I poison this place?
“And then you came back, and slowly things are turning around.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot.”
“What happened to Andy?”
He goes rigid, his hands fisting the wheel as if the man’s name lashed open a wound. “He left town with me, but moved out when he was nineteen. He’s been married and divorced and has a kid he never sees, since his ex-moved to Canada, which just says everything, doesn’t it?”
I swallow the vomit I feel rushing up the back of my throat, trying to imagine how that woman would feel if she found out the man she married, who fathered her child, had once raped someone.
“Cece?”
I look over at him and frown.
“The others have a nickname for you. I want one too.”
I shake my head at the subject change. “You sound like a perturbed toddler.” Though I suspect he’s only trying to distract me. “She should know, right? His ex-wife, I mean.”
He doesn’t say anything for the longest time. Long enough for something to shrivel up inside me.
“I don’t know if it will make a difference. I don’t know if it will make you feel better, but I can’t see it helping her any. Perhaps if they were still together. But she’s finally free… I’ll never tell you what to do to heal. If that’s what you need, then I’ll fly you out there myself.”
The air rushes out of me, the relief so stark I almost choke on it. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s best to leave things alone. I don’t want my healing to come at the expense of someone else’s,” I tell him.
He offers me a small, understanding smile before changing the subject again. “So last up is Jackie Andrews. Wait, isn’t that Sheriff Andrews’s wife?”
“Ex-wife. They were separated before he died, apparently. She used to order from me before I went to prison and picked right up afterward. Not sure how the locals found out I was back in business so fast, but I’m assuming it was Jen.
” He tenses at her name, but I just shake my head.
“I already know it was you who found her for me. She told me, and when she found out why I wanted nothing to do with you, she made a dartboard with your face as the target,” I tease as he winces.
“She was the best I could find. I saw the useless public defender you were assigned to, and I knew the shit was going to hit the fan. I really wanted things to turn out different.”
“Me too. But maybe things turned out exactly how they were supposed to in the end. And just saying, I’m not sure I’d have made it without Jen, so thank you.”
“You know she fired me, right? Which is really not how it’s supposed to work. I don’t know who was paying her—”
“Nobody. She did it for free because she believed me, believed in me, and now I pay her.”
“I’m glad you had that.”
“Me too.”
This time, when we pull up, I jump out before he can come around to open the door, mostly just to fuck with him. When he stalks around to me with a scowl on his face, I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.
“I get the door.”
“I get it. You’re a big, strong man, and I’m just an itty-bitty woman. But believe it or not, I’ve managed to open doors all by my lonesome for years. Though there was that one time I tried to open it from the bottom…” I tease.
“Smart ass,” he growls, pinning me against the car.
Okay, so maybe I should have thought this through better. “Austin I—”
“Fuck it.”
Oh shit. I heard that from Shepard right before he—All thoughts slip from my head as Austin yanks me closer and covers my mouth with his.
There is nothing soft or sweet about this kiss.
It’s rough and unyielding, a clash of teeth and tongue as whatever has been pulsing between us detonates, leaving chaos in its wake.
I lose myself in him, my thoughts scattered and fragmented. All I can focus on is the slide of his tongue over mine, the taste of him on my lips—coffee, mint, and a hint of something I can’t place. Whatever it is, it’s delicious, and I can’t get enough.
By the time he pulls back, I feel like putty in his hands—hands that are thankfully holding me up because my legs feel like Jello. I press my fingers to my lips, which feel swollen, and try to corral my thoughts and feelings into something manageable. But that seems impossible right now.
“Holy fuck. What was that?”
“Well, if you have to ask, I’m obviously not doing it right.” He chuckles, moving closer again. I’d back up, but the goddamn vehicle is in the way.
“Okay, slow your roll there, mister. You are not supposed to be kissing me. I have someone to kiss me—two someones, possibly. Maybe. Ugh, I keep messing everything up.”
“I’m not sure I can stop, now I know what I’ve been missing.”
“Try.”
“Never was great at following orders either. I like giving them, though,” he says, his voice dipping low.
I shiver, which makes me scowl. “Stop using your sex voice on me.”
“Oh baby, you haven’t heard nothing yet,” he murmurs against my ear. His rough hand slides up my ribs to my breast, his thumb gliding over my nipple, which my lightly padded bra does nothing to hide.
“Ever fucked in the back of a car? It’s a rite of passage.”
No, but I fucked the sheriff in the front seat of one.
“I was in prison, remember? I missed out on a lot of rites of passage.”
“Then let me show you what the fuss is all about.”
I sigh. “Austin.”
Hearing the tone of my voice, he takes a deep breath and reluctantly pulls back, not much, but enough for me to breathe without my chest brushing against his. With the distance between us, it’s impossible not to see how hard he is and how big. I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry.
“The package. I mean, it’s not that big. I can handle it on my own. Shit, that sounded even worse out loud.”
He grabs my hand and places it on his hard cock. “Trust me, Cece, my package is anything but small.”
“You’re making it hard to think. Just…not here. Not now.”
“Then when?”
“I don’t know, Austin. This is not a good idea, surely you know that.”
“Perhaps. Now ask me if I care?”
“Well, of course you don’t care. It’s my fucking heart on the line,” I hiss.
“Is that what you think? That I won’t get hurt? You really have no fucking clue what you do to me, do you?” He searches my eyes before cursing. “Fuck me.”
Nope. Bad idea. I ignore the image of us doing just that and turn away before I have a stroke and keel over. I mean, I’m not sure I even like this guy, so how I’ve gone from wanting to choke him with my ovaries to imagining him—nope. Do not go there.
Maybe I’m sick. I touch my hand to my forehead. I do feel warm. And my cheeks are definitely hot. Oh, thank god, I’m just sick. For one scary moment, I thought I might be addicted to dick.
He grins. “I’m sure there are worse things to be addicted to, but I can promise you here and now that’s one addiction I’ll never try to cure you of.”
My mouth drops open. “I said that out loud.”
“You did. Glad to know this isn’t one-sided. You’re fucking with my head too. There are dozens of other women out there who make more sense than you and me.”
I narrow my eyes at the motherfucker because that was unnecessary. He didn’t need to make me sound like a hideous troll.
“But I don’t want them. I want you. I’ve always wanted you, even when it was illegal.”
“Pervert.”
“I can’t help it. You bring out the worst in me.”
“Yay me,” I deadpan.
Whatever he might have said next is cut off by the sound of a door opening.
“To be continued...”
I’ll be sure to hide out on the ranch for the next fifty years or so. It’s the only place I know I’ll be safe from his penis, mostly because I’ll have Riggs’s penis doing penis-y things to me.
Dear god, woman, stop thinking about penises.
“Calliope?”
“Huh?”
“I asked if you were okay?”
“Oh yeah, I’m great.” I paste on a smile.
“Good, you want me to grab the package?”
I whimper and let my eyes slip closed so I don’t have to see his knowing smirk. “Please.”
“You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I’m so okay.”
“Great. And just out of curiosity, how wet are your panties?”
“Soaked. Dammit, Austin.” I stomp my foot and walk around to the back of the truck to get the damn package myself, ignoring his laughter. “Sneaky bastard.”
I grab the box and head to where Jackie stands with her arms crossed.
Her once-black hair is now a beautiful silver.
It hangs down her back, accentuating her slim waist and overall trim figure.
The years have been kind to Jackie. Even though her face shows signs of aging, she wears it really well.
I can only hope I look half as good as she does when I get to her age.
“Goodness, Calliope, I wasn’t expecting to see you in person. You look stunning. I see ranch life agrees with you.”