Chapter 19
“Shit! Fuck, Kitt, I’m sorry. Shit!” Austin slipped his cock out and tore his T-shirt over his head, sliding it between Kitt’s parted thighs. His release was already spilling out of Kitt.
“I never forget the condom! Shit, that’s why it was different.” Kitt’s movements were slower than Austin’s. He reached a hand over to pick up the wrapped condom as if he’d never seen one before.
“I’ve been tested. I’m clean, but fuck, Kitt, I’m sorry!”
Kitt was still staring at the condom wide-eyed, and Austin tried to clean the signs of their passionate lovemaking off Kitt when suddenly a soft knock sounded from the door. As in slow motion both their heads turned to see it open and Mike stood just outside of it, ready to step in.
“You already asleep, buddy, or could you use some company? I saw Austin’s truck out there…” The shock of the scene registered on Mike’s face, and all he could do was blink until he forced his gaze down and stumbled back a step.
“Shit…I’m sorry…” Mike’s eyes didn’t come back up as he turned away. His cowboy boots clicked hurriedly on the concrete barn floor as he hightailed it to the front.
“Damn it!” Kitt shoved away the T-shirt and started toward Mike, pulling his pants up as he went. It was awkward, but he kept running as he headed out into the barn.
“Mike, come back here!” Kitt yelled as Mike disappeared through the barn’s main door.
“I never saw anything, Kitt.” Mike’s muffled yell came as the barn door swung closed. Kitt ran toward him, but came to a sudden halt when Lady gave a strong whine. Austin ran past him.
“Let me go after him. Take care of her,” Austin said, as he went for the doors.
Kitt had a moment where everything earthly centered directly into him and he could feel Austin dripping from his ass. Lady pulled him out of his fog with another throaty whine. “Shit, she’s already foaling!”
Austin ran out the main door and Kitt pivoted on his heels, heading to Lady’s stall.
She was lying on a bed of straw, birthing her colt.
He quickly darted inside with everything else forgotten.
Kitt tried to keep Lady soothed and as comfortable as possible.
He talked her through it until the colt lay next to Lady.
Mike was behind him, handing him the suction tube.
“Is he breathing?” Mike asked. He was down on his knees beside Kitt.
Mike didn’t touch either horse; Lady wouldn’t have wanted it.
Instead, he worked alongside Kitt, handing him a towel and laid other equipment out beside him just in case it was needed.
Kitt worked the new colt, going through the steps, making sure he was fine, fit and breathing properly and then he worked on Lady.
After a few minutes a smile ripped across Kitt’s lips.
“Good girl! I’m so proud of you. He’s perfect, Lady!” Kitt grinned so big he turned to Mike who gave him a good hard whack on the back. Kitt looked over his shoulder to see Austin there. They smiled at each other before Kitt’s eyes darted back to Mike.
=?=
Austin stood back and let the men work. The awkward moments were long gone.
Lady became the only thing important to everyone inside the barn.
Austin stayed close, but out of the way as relief flooded through him.
Mike was needed here. He knew exactly how to help whereas Austin knew nothing.
He would have been at a total loss at helping Kitt bring the colt into the world.
At some point through the birth, Austin saw Kitt’s jacket hanging on the stall and put it on when the vet got there so he didn’t have to resort to putting on the come stained T-shirt he’d shoved up Kitt’s ass.
All the tension of earlier was now completely gone, in its place an exuberance. Kitt’s smile wouldn’t leave his face.
Austin didn’t know for sure how this was going to play out, but he prayed for a simple end.
He decided he’d promise to never come back to the barn again.
He’d swear on his life he would stay at the cabin or his house waiting on Kitt there in the future.
He’d also remind Kitt of Mike’s confidentiality agreement.
Surely, Kitt would be able to see reason.
And yet, Austin couldn’t stop the dread building in his heart.
=?=
Doc deemed both mother and baby healthy and the birth a success. If you could judge anything on a newborn colt, this one looked good; strong and big, a perfect match to his father. Kitt named the colt Hooch.
A yawn formed inside him, and Kitt cut his eyes up to the clock along the back wall.
He was on an adrenaline high with exhaustion just under the surface.
It surprised him that only a couple of hours had passed since this whole thing got started.
The new little colt should try to stand in the next hour or two and he wanted to stay close by, making sure Lady was able to feed Hooch like she should.
Doc left and Lady was already urging her colt to his feet.
Kitt, Austin, and Mike stood on the outside of the thoroughly cleaned stall, looking in.
The start of the night seemed a far distant memory.
What Mike walked in on; it was funny how Kitt pushed the memory so far back in his mind, he almost convinced himself it didn’t happen.
It was only the pesky wet spot in the back of his jeans that wouldn’t let him completely forget.
For about the sixtieth time tonight, Kitt reached down and adjusted his T-shirt, hoping it covered the stain.
“I shouldn’t have barged in like that. I’m sorry,” Mike said into the quiet while they were all looking down at the horses.
If Kitt was right, Mike’s tone was confused with a hint of anger.
Kitt understood and got it. He only glanced up for a second before his gaze cut away.
He could feel the heat pooling in his cheeks as he thought over the best way to respond.
Luckily, Austin stayed quiet. Thank God for small miracles.
All Kitt came up with was to try and steer Mike away from the truth. He didn’t know in what other direction; he hadn’t thought that far ahead. He tried hard to remember exactly the moment Mike walked in the room. Was there any chance Mike didn’t see everything Kitt thought he might have?
“This isn’t what you think.”
“You weren’t having sex with Austin in the break room?” Mike asked, hooking an arm on the steel gate while looking directly at Kitt with a grin on his face. He dared Kitt to lie to him some more.
“Okay, you’re right, Mike. That part’s what you think, but this isn’t a random deal,” Austin said, from behind Kitt. Kitt could only turn and stare at Austin. Why couldn’t he ever just keep his mouth shut!
“So you’re gay? You’ve been gay this whole time I’ve known you?
Or is it a new development since Austin moved in?
You know what? It’s none of my business,” Mike said to Kitt, then shifted his gaze to Austin, and then back to the horse.
For a second, Kitt thought he may have seen hurt on Mike’s face, just like with Kylie.
Out of all the scenarios Kitt thought could happen when people found out he was gay, hurt never crossed his mind. Why was Mike hurt?
“Now wait a minute,” Austin began, but Kitt cut him off.
“I’m gay.” Kitt spoke softly, and both sets of eyes landed on his.
His heart hammered in his chest and his lungs paused in their normal involuntary intake of breath as he said the words and told the truth for the first time in his life.
“No one knows, but I’ve been this way my entire life.
Mike, I don’t know what this is gonna do to us, but I need you to keep this to yourself. ”
“It’s not a problem. As a matter of fact, I’m gonna try to do everything I can to scrub that from my memory,” Mike said with a harsh chuckle.
“Mike, it’s not what you think. I care about Kitt,” Austin piped in just as Kitt would have let the conversation be done and over with.
He’d even started to move away from the stall.
The words stopped him. He didn’t look up, he just stopped, unsure if he wanted to hear what Austin had to say or not.
“Is he why you moved here? I thought you were gettin’ married. Or is that not right? Is it a swings-both-ways kind of deal?” Mike tried for a cheeky response with a cocky grin on his face, but fell short, making even Austin pause, not sure how to answer.
“Look, I’m never breathin’ a word of this out loud again. Congratulations on the new colt, Kitt. He looks awesome just like you knew he would. Good night, and I swear your secret’s safe, buddy.” Mike pivoted on his heel and didn’t break his stride as he went out the back door.
They watched him leave as he finished the sentence. Austin started out after Mike, but Kitt stopped him with a hand to the arm.
“Let him go. There’s nothin’ you can do.
Mike’s a good guy. Whatever’s gonna happen, will happen, but Mike isn’t a talker.
” Kitt tried hard to convince himself what he said was true.
Mike was a good guy, but he liked a good story, and he liked to drink on occasion.
One slip up was all it would take to have this spreading like wildfire.
“It doesn’t matter. He can’t expose you. It wouldn’t be in his best interest. I’ll bury him if he does,” Austin said, reaching for Kitt who stepped toward him.
“Goddamn it, what was I thinkin’? I’ve been caught twice now, after never, ever bein’ suspected. Fuck it, Austin.” Kitt lowered his head to Austin’s shoulder. Austin instantly embraced him. He ran his hand up Kitt’s neck, tangling his fingers into the hair and held him close, breathing him in.
“Babe…” Austin whispered in his ear. Kitt stayed in his arms, tucked into Austin’s neck until Austin forced his head up. Austin planned a kiss, but once he got a look in Kitt’s eyes, he stopped in mid-motion.
“No. No more. You make me crazy. You make me think it’s all going to be okay and it’s not. There’s a reason I had Sean. I could go to him when it was convenient for me. You walk into my life and screw convenience. Hell, screw everything. I just wanna fuck you for the world to see.”
“It’s the way I feel about you, too,” Austin said carefully, clearly unsure of the point Kitt tried to make. Austin didn’t back away from Kitt, he kept him close, tightening his arms around his waist.
“No more, Austin. I have too much ridin’ on everything right now.
I can’t risk this. I don’t think Kylie will tell, and I don’t think Mike will, but I can’t risk a third person findin’ us out.
Those two are the only people on the planet I fully trust. I can’t risk this right now.
You have no idea the debt my father had when he died, and all I’ve done is add to it tryin’ to find a way out of it.
Right now is too important.” Kitt stepped back, breaking Austin’s tight hold, leaving them standing at arm’s length.
Kitt straightened his spine, bowed his chest, physically keeping himself strong.
“I want you to trust me, and if debt’s the problem, I have more money than I can ever spend. I can solve your money problems.” There was desperation laced in Austin’s words.
“That’s not what I meant. You aren’t listenin’.
You need to hear me. I’m not takin’ your money.
Why would you even give me the money? To sleep with you more?
Like pay me to sleep with you and be around when you want me?
No, Austin, I’m not that guy.” Kitt let anger fill him.
It was so much better than the ache in his heart, begging him to stop this right now.
He stepped farther away putting more distance between them.
“I never said that. It was never even implied,” Austin began but Mike came through the front doors of the barn. He looked at each one for a long minute, his presence back in the barn said more than the words he was clearly trying to form.
“Kitt, it doesn’t change anything and it sure as hell explains a lot. Your life’s shit, man. If this makes you happy, you need to go for it. I’ll keep it quiet, I swear.” The words were said, and Mike was gone again.
“I can’t risk this right now, Austin. We need to back off, and I need you to leave right now.
” Kitt didn’t look back as he stepped around Austin and walked straight to the break room to clean his release off the cabinets and throw away the lube and condom packets before anyone else had the chance to happen in on him.
“What the fuck have I been thinkin’?” Kitt asked himself as he slammed open the break room door.