Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
ALEX
“ W hy are you being so grumpy?” Julian asks in an exasperated tone. “How many times have you told me you want to find love? That’s why you didn’t want anything to happen with those chicks, right? Because you think it’d be cheap. Well, if you don’t try, you’ll never find the real deal.”
“You’re drunk,” I mutter, looking down at my phone.
My last text reads.
Alex: So there you have it. I can’t be casual. I can’t be fun. It’s the wrong holiday for it, so you can call me Scrooge.
“I know that look on your face. You should go and talk to her.”
“Who?”
Julian rolls his eyes. “What’d you mean, who ? The woman you saved, the one you keep looking over at every couple of seconds.”
He’s right. I can’t help it. Sitting at the table with her friends, Tori is fascinating.
She makes me ache just by looking at her, imagining tearing her sparkly top away, revealing her tender mounds, her eager nipples, her eyes growing wide, but not with fear this time—with the same hunger burning in me and making my pole stiff.
“I’m busy trying to make my secret Valentine texter understand I’m not who they want.”
Julian points his finger at me. From how it wobbles, he won’t win the ‘I’m not drunk’ argument anytime soon. “Listen, I can go along with it most of the time.”
“With what?”
He grinds his teeth. “With your you-don’t-give-a-damn act. But there have been many, many times, Alex. Maybe you were overworked, a little tipsy, or sleep-deprived when you made these admissions…”
“You’ve already forgotten what you were going to say,” I mumble.
He covers his mouth to hide a burp. “I haven’t.” He snaps his fingers. “You’ve told me many times you want something real. Well, this is your chance.”
“You’re being overdramatic.”
“You’re trying to hide how you really feel,” he snaps back.
Damn Julian and his perceptiveness.
I watch Tori across the busy bar. She furrows her eyebrows as she types, cute, interested. Who’s her Valentine? I want to find the jerk and tell him to back off even though I just said I’m not interested because clearly, that’s a lie when it comes to Tori.
She puts her phone down… and mine vibrates.
My heart pounds like it does when I put on the gloves and pick up the scalpel. It’s the same mixture of fear and adrenaline. Only then do I have to become cold.
If my hunch is correct, I won’t be able to remain cold. But I can’t tell Julian. He’ll lose it.
Valentine Stranger: It takes a special kind of man to come to a bar for a Valentine’s event and be this stubbornly miserable .
She glances up at me and then looks back down at the table. Are her cheeks burning?
I should remember Robin and Lena, the betrayal, the heartache, the responsibility.
A memory of my little brother when he was a kid comes to me, a smile on his face. “I’m a robin, a bird, and I’m going to fly away…”
Poor kid didn’t know how right he was.
She picks up her phone, types quickly, and sends a text. My phone vibrates again. There’s no way this can be a coincidence. Luckily, Julian is absorbed in his phone, seemingly forgetting he was giving me a speech about seizing the moment and following my heart.
Valentine Stranger: Or maybe you just want to make sure I’m hot enough to deserve your attention.
My dick throbs. I try not to stare, but it isn’t easy. What if it isn’t her? I’ll be a man twice her age, ogling her, imagining the sound of her moaning.
Alex: You don’t know what my type is.
She types on her phone—I get a text.
Valentine Stranger: Why don’t you tell me?
Julian looks up from his phone. “What the hell?”
“Huh?”
“What’s happened between me sending a few messages and rejoining the physical world?”
I laugh. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t look so miserable anymore. Have you finally realized I’m speaking the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but?” he says enthusiastically.
“I may have said a few times,” I admit, “that I want to find the real deal. But you’re forgetting the second part, where I come to my senses and realize it’s for the best if I keep my world simple. Surely you’d prefer if I stayed single so you’d have a wingman.”
“Bro, no offense," he says, giving me a droll look, “but you’re the worst wingman. I’d rather see you happy.”
“Wow, Julian, that was actually quite moving.”
“I’m not always a jerk. Duty calls…” He picks up his phone.
I do the same. She wants to know my type. I haven’t really got one. Lena looked nothing like Tori. I don’t even want to compare them.
Alex: I like brunettes with wavy, somewhat wild hair. And I like it when I can tell they’ve made an effort but still want to let some of their natural wildness show. I like women with full figures, curves in all the right places, and jeans that show off just how voluptuous they are. I like women who need saving but pretend they don’t.
I hesitate before clicking send. If I’ve got this wrong and my texter isn’t Tori, I’m going to look insane.
If it is her, though, maybe this could be it.
I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’ve had my heart shattered before, a betrayal that still gives me twisted nightmares sometimes, dreams in which I scream to stop, but I can’t make any noise. I can’t change the past.
I’m trying to pretend there’s no romance in me, but I felt something when I stood up for her. Screw it. I click send…
I watch as she picks up her phone. As she reads the text, a smile lifts her gorgeous lips. She touches her hair.
Then she looks right at me, raising an eyebrow. The confidence makes my steel throb, almost rigid. I need to control myself. I’m in public. But dammit, she’s making it difficult.
Valentine Stranger: Aren’t you going to ask me my type?
I look at her, a smirk on my lips.
Alex: That was going to be my next question.
Valentine Stranger: I like silver foxes who clearly go to the gym, but they’re not all showy about it. They don’t feel the need to advertise their hunky bodies. They just ARE hunks. I like saviors, sure, but only if they know that the saving was a one-time deal and a girl can mostly take care of herself.
Alex: Ah, it seems we’re not destined to be together after all. I like a woman who can admit she needs her knight in shining armor.
She laughs. I can’t hear it over the music, but the flash of her teeth is a beautiful sight.
Deep in my mind, the grumpiness tries to take over. What about what Lena did? Look at Mom and Dad. They loved each other in the beginning, and it didn’t help.
Somehow, while texting Tori, I believe I can fight through all this.
Valentine Stranger: Maybe you should be a little more understanding. Some women would happily slap certain kinds of men if given the chance.
Alex: That’s what I’m for.
I stop texting without clicking Send. Then I feel Julian grinning at me. He’s got a proud look on his face. Not just happy, but like he’s personally accomplished something.
“Why do you look so pleased with yourself?”
He shrugs. “Maybe I’m considering a career change.”
“Is there not enough money in psychology?”
“I’ve got a new calling… call me Cupid.”
“What did you do, Julian?”
“Don’t get that tone. You look like a kid on Christmas morning. You should be thanking me. You’re happy; this is it. This is your night .” He’s speaking in the grandiose way of a cheerfully drunk man.
“Explain.”
“A certain bar owner may or may not have asked me for your cellphone number… because she may or may not have noticed a degree of chemistry between you and a certain lady… and now, a certain chief of surgery might be texting like a teenager falling in love…”
I let out a laugh, a mixture of relief and pure joy.
So it is Tori… I was almost certain already, but knowing for sure is good.
“Her friend was in on the game too. The spunky redhead. Why don’t we go and talk to them both?”
I realize I’m smiling. It feels good. I’m letting go.
Then my pager goes off.
Julian throws his hands up when he sees me take it from my pocket. “You brought that thing with you?”
“I bring it everywhere with me,” I say, instantly becoming colder, more robotic. “I’m needed for a surgery consultation.”
Dammit. I want to talk to Tori some more. It’s like fate is slapping me with a reminder why my quest to find love—Julians’ right, there’s always been a quest even if I try to ignore it—is doomed.
“Sorry,” I say, standing. “I can’t ignore this. Obviously.”
“No, I get it.” Julian sighs. “God damn you, Alex. Now go and save somebody’s life.”
I look over at Tori one last time. She’s got her phone in one hand. With the other, she’s twisting her hair around her finger as I walk away.