30. Emerson #2
Because my gaze hadn’t left his, I saw it, the change in his features so swift his body jerked.
“I am worried about all of that. I have not a single worldly possession. Well, I have some clothes, but you get it. I don’t know where I’m going to live.
I don’t know how I’m going to work. Hell, I don’t have a driver’s license or identification.
I don’t know where my sister is, or if she’s okay.
I’m dreading having to talk to my parents, which I’m going to have to do.
My head is still a little jumbled from the shit I lived in.
But I trust you. So, that means I know while I’m scared as shit about all those things, I do have the one thing that’s most important—you.
You promised me you’d take care of everything and all I had to do is believe.
I’m believing, Thaddeus. I’m here with you, in your arms every night, believing you’ll handle all the details of our life until I can wrap my head around it all and then take some of the burden.
I need this time to digest everything that has happened, but what I don’t need is time to know where I’m at, because I know. And where I’m at, is with you.”
“Do you love me?” he inquired, and I jerked this time. How could he ask me that?
“Yes.”
“You haven’t said it.”
“Yes, I have.”
“No, agápi mou, I’ve said it. You say, ‘me, too.’”
I thought about the times he’d told me he loved me.
Starting with the first time back in Manicore before he left with the team.
He’d said, ‘I love you,’ and I returned the sentiment with my agreement, not the words.
And since then, I’d done the same. I hadn’t said it first. I hadn’t given him the words. Damn.
“Thaddeus.” I stood from the patio chair and walked the short distance.
When I stopped in front of him, my hands went to his chest and my eyes locked on his.
“I love you. I loved you a decade ago. I’ve loved you every day since.
And I love you now. I’m sorry I haven’t given that to you.
But I swear it, I love you with every part of me.
I’ve never doubted it. I’ve never regretted it.
And I know I’ll die loving you. That’s where I’m at. ”
I rolled up to my toes to kiss him, but he didn’t lean the rest of the way.
Instead he hauled me up and I had no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist. His mouth came down on mine and his tongue swept my bottom lip.
I opened for him and his tongue pushed mine back in so he could deepen the kiss.
God, the man could kiss. My body heated and it had nothing to do with the beautiful Southern California sun beating down on us.
Then we were moving. He carried us inside, through the living space, and into the bedroom. Thaddeus laid me on the cool, white comforter, and stared down at me.
“You’re sure?” he asked.
I took a moment, not to contemplate his question but to peruse.
His abdominal muscles were defined in a way you knew he put work into his body.
Same with his chest and arms. A decade ago, Thaddeus was cut—he had a twenty-two-year-old’s lean physique.
Now he was a man—he was bulkier, bigger, he’d filled out, and it was way hotter.
I sucked in a breath and as much as I didn’t want to, if we were going there, I had to. “I haven’t been with anyone in over a year, I’ve been to a doctor since then, and everything’s okay. I have a birth control implant in my arm.”
“I get tested for work every six months, I haven’t been with anyone since my last test,” he returned.
He continued to stare down at me and said, “You didn’t answer me.”
“Yes, Thaddeus, I’m sure.”
“There’s no going back, Emmy. If you need time, take it, I’ll wait.”
I needed to do something to hurry this along.
I was sure, I knew I was, and I didn’t need more time.
My hands went to my jean shorts and I unbuttoned them, unzipped, then pulled them over my hips, taking my panties with them.
I shoved them down my legs and kicked them off.
Next was my t-shirt and sports bra. Once those were over my head and I’d tossed them to the side, I was fully on display.
“I’m sure, honey,” I whispered.
I’d never had any hang-ups or insecurities about my body when I’d been with Thaddeus. He’d always made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, but now I was fighting not to squirm under his scrutiny.
“Thaddeus?” I called. I waited until his gaze travelled up my body and his eyes met mine. “I love you.”
His running shorts were off before I could blink and his knee was on the bed, and he was flipping me to my stomach.
“Up on your knees, agápi mou, I want to see my mark.”
I scrambled up on all fours, even though I couldn’t see his face.
And if there was ever a time I wished I could, it was right then.
I could hear his intake of breath. I could feel his body coil.
But I couldn’t see it. It sounded great, it felt great, and I was sure the look in his eyes would be even better.
His calloused hands roamed my back, pushing my hair to the side as they went. His hands stopped moving, but then something better happened. He traced the first Greek letter of his name, and I looked over my shoulder the best I could to watch. And damn, I was thankful I did.
So much emotion was etched into his features it was breathtaking.
Wonder mixed with primal love and I loved my tattoo more in that moment than I ever had before.
“Mine,” he moaned.
He was nearing the last letter of his name—I didn’t have to see to know. His name was seared into my flesh, and I’d memorized each letter long ago. With one hand still using a finger to trace, his other moved between my legs and cupped my sex.
“Mine,” he repeated, as he thrust a finger inside of me. “All. Fucking. Mine. ”
His hand moved from between my legs and the tip of his dick replaced his finger. In one fast, violent thrust he was fully inside of me.
“Oh, God,” I choked and my head fell forward.
I lost sight of Thad’s reaction, not that I would’ve been able to focus on it anyway. He was slowly gliding in and out in total contradiction to how he’d entered me.
“My beautiful Emmy.” His voice sounded hoarse, and my stomach fluttered at the sound.
He bent forward and kissed over the ink on my back, sending chills racing over my overheated skin.
“Thaddeus,” I whined, unable to say anything else.
“You did this,” he said and placed another open-mouthed kiss on my tattoo. His tongue came out licking over the letters. “You marked your pretty skin with my name. You branded yourself with my name and tied yourself to me for eternity, agápi mou. You are mine.”
“Yes, yours. For eternity.”
His body stilled and his mouth came to my ear. “Say it again,” he demanded.
“Yours, Thaddeus.”
He resumed his slow, lazy strokes when he growled, “When you come, I wanna hear my name falling from your pretty lips.”
“Okay,” I panted.
“Hold on, Emmy.”
“I am.”
“No, baby. Hold the fuck on, don’t ever let me go. I promise you I’ll never let you down.”
“I’m holding on, Thaddeus.”
“I want you to marry me.” It took a second for my sex-muddled brain to comprehend what he’d said.
But I didn’t have a chance to respond, not that he’d exactly asked me a question, before he continued.
“I want it legal. I want you to take my name. I want you to have the babies we talked about having. Which means, that damned thing you talked about that’s in your arm needs to come out. ”
“Okay,” I moaned, because there was nothing else to say. I wanted those things, too.
“I want that to happen soon,” he went on.
“Okay.”
“We lost too much time. We’re not fuckin’ around this time, agápi mou.”
“Okay,” I repeated.
Only this time my answer came out breathy. This was because his hand slid down my stomach and he was strumming my clit as he spoke.
“That’s it, Emmy baby, take it. Grind down.”
My hips bucked, not because he’d suggested it but because I was so close, I couldn’t do anything but find it.
“Close,” I panted.
“Don’t need the warning, baby. You’re tight as all hell, and you’re clamping down. Hurry, Emmy. I got you.”
Thaddeus straightened and I lost his heat on my back, he started pounding harder and I was gone.
I found it.
My thighs shook, my arms gave way, and at the last second, I remembered his request and I came shouting his name.
“Fucking beautiful,” he roared and slammed deep. “Feels so damn good to be home.”
Sometime later when I’d come down from the high that was Thaddeus Bench, he was on his back, I was pressed close to his side, one thigh thrown over his, one arm over his stomach, and my palm resting on his heart.
Not only did I believe, but I knew deep in my soul, Thaddeus had meant every word he’d said. They weren’t spoken in the heat of passion. They weren’t said to make me feel good. He spoke the truth, so there was nothing I could do but hold on.
Which I figured would be easy. And I had to agree, it felt good to be home.
“I love you, Thaddeus,” I whispered.
“ Se agapó , Emerson.”