Chapter 30
Then to top the whole affair off right proper the rain has been cooperating, moistening all those mosquito holes so we can be blessed not only with swelterin’ hot days but also with astronomical numbers of skeeters.
Guess where those little winged critters absolutely love to have dinner? At an auction!! Their IQ is miles above that which we mere human beings give them credit for being. They KNOW they can light upon our poor defenseless bodies at an auction and there’s nothing we can do about it.
So, while we patiently watch eighteen thousand pieces of JUNK sell and wait for the lovely little magazine rack to get to the block the mosquitoes begin to have their very rare type AB positive supper.
Recently I went to an auction and everything was fine until the auctioneer began his rattle—mercy, they could put a politician and a preacher both to shame. At any rate, just when he began to show off a genuine-bought-two-week- ago-two-bit-antique those bugs began their duty.
They found ME when he had started on a box of rusty spoons and I KNOW the one that lit was about the size of a half-grown buzzard. Now, I sure didn’t have any intentions of buying those spoons, but I didn’t want to donate a gallon of blood to that blasted bug either.
What could I do? Kill the varmint and buy the spoons—the man was looking right at me and rattling off something about $5.00. If I would’ve splattered blood all over me there’s no doubt he would have screamed “SOLD”!!
I came home as rich as I was when I left and without the spoons or the magazine rack.
And the mosquito filled its tank to the overfull level.
The only consolation I had as I suffered from symptoms of acute anemia was knowing that the bug most likely had a crash landing only inches from the place where he took off.
After all a gallon of liquid just cannot fit in a micro-ounce container like its stomach.
However, I have come to the conclusion that perhaps the auctioneer had made an agreement with the mosquitoes. And I wonder just how many people bought junk who really had no intention of doing so because they instinctively swatted a mosquito?