Chapter 51
The Browns announce the arrival of a new addition to their already topsy-turvy menagerie. Thomas made his somewhat unconventional appearance one evening a few days ago when he was chauffeured to our house on top of the car battery.
If the real facts were revealed he was probably only following orders given by three children. He was too big to hide in their coat pockets or book satchels!
So now in addition to three kids, one retarded dog and one severely ugly mutt (to use the term “dog” in reference to Bit would be using the word extremely loosely), one dumb bird who won’t talk and whistles off key, and a whole tank full of fish, we now add Thomas—a CAT!!
My mind goes back several years when all of the above-mentioned was still in the future. There was the husband, Charles, me, and a guy named Charley Driggers, Drigg, who lived with us.
One night while we were eating supper, we heard this pitiful wailing and opened the door to find a “poor little kit ty” on the porch. We adopted it immediately!!
Poor little homeless castoff just had ONE minor problem—well, maybe TWO!
! IT was a SHE! And SHE was thoroughly convinced if humans went to the little room at the top of the stairs, then that’s exactly where she would go!
To the dickens with going out in the cold—humans didn’t!
And throw away the litter pan—humans didn’t scratch around in them neither! !
Charles didn’t take too kindly to her decision and even though majority (Drigg and I) ruled when we voted he informed the two of us that our pet WOULD go to Aunt Doris’ farm if we couldn’t convince her to change her erring ways.
We tried counseling with her, but all psychology failed. We tore up those steps like our feet had wings when we heard the familiar scratching on the tile floor. But we never did convert that cat OR convince her it wasn’t kosher for her to use the room at the top of the stairs.
Then one day, Drigg went in to take a shower. Seems he had this great girl all lined up for a date. The roof of the apartment building rose a good three inches when he started singing and he wouldn’t have heard a hurricane pass through the bedroom, a tornado rip up the
town, or Charles and me have an argument!!
The cat took advantage of the opportunity, but she knew Drigg would be upset with her, so she discreetly hid her doings with Drigg’s towel.
Still singing, he hopped out of the shower, grabbed the towel, and commenced to dry his leg. I don’t need to tell you what it was that he rubbed into his leg. ’Course he said he was most powerful lucky that night because he ALWAYS dried his face first!!
After he ran the water bill up to an unheard-of amount, used a whole bar of soap, and was twenty minutes late for his date with Miss Wonderful, the vote was taken again! Majority ruled. The cat went to Aunt Doris’ farm.
Thomas has been right mannerly these days. He knows his place and is doing fine. But should Thomas surprise us all and transform suddenly into Thomasina, the minority (that’s ONE—me) WILL rule—and I hope Thomas likes Aunt Doris’ farm!!!