Chapter 3 #2
“Thank you.” They stepped into the hall and she pulled the door until it was only open a sliver. “I’m afraid doubt is part of the job description.”
“Maybe. I’ve never been a mom but I’m a man with plenty of doubt, and I was a cop who doubted everything.” He pulled out a chair at the kitchen counter, hung his jacket on the back, then sat down and got comfortable.
Hmm. Apparently, he planned to stay a while. That suited her just fine.
Arms crossed over his chest, his long legs stretched out, he said, “Tell me what spooked you.”
With him watching her so intently, the tiny cabin seemed to shrink even more. “I don’t know.” Removing his coat and her hat gave her something to do other than admire him. “I’m probably just tired.”
“Joey.” Gently catching her arm, he turned her to face him. “That’s the kind of doubt I’m talking about.”
Staring down at his feet, she shrugged. “But you didn’t find anything.”
“Which means next to nothing.” He lifted her chin so that she looked into his eyes, then opened his hand to the side of her face.
This was new from him, touching her, letting his warm fingers linger against her skin. The urge to nestle her cheek into his palm was so strong that she forced herself to take a step way.
A few awkward seconds passed, then he said, “Sorry.”
“No, it’s just...” What could she say? I’m not used to being touched by a man? “I didn’t mind.”
“It made you uncomfortable?”
“Actually, it makes me want to lean on you, and that’s not something I should do.”
His gaze warmed even more. “Why not? My shoulders aren’t big enough?”
She snorted. “I’m sure your shoulders could support an elephant. The thing is, I’m already imposing on you too much. It’s not something I ever anticipated. I want to stand on my own. I want to prove that I can do it.”
“I get that, but you don’t need to prove anything to me.”
“To myself, then.” Hand to her forehead, she looked around the cabin. “For Ryder to really feel secure, he needs to know that I can handle things. That we’re okay. That I’ll keep him...” Her voice trailed off.
Hendrix wasn’t a fool. “Safe.”
Biting her lip, she hesitated, but in the end she nodded.
“He should also know that everyone needs a helping hand now and then. You don’t want him to be afraid to reach out when necessary.”
Probably true, but not something she’d admit right now. “You don’t need a helping hand.”
“You’re wrong on that, but any adjustments I had to make would be easier because I don’t have a kid.”
Never had she met anyone like him. Something in those gray eyes of his showed a deep sadness, and disappointment. In himself?
Willingly, she stepped close to him again. “Thank you for everything today. All of it. The pizza, the toys, wrestling with Ryder, and reassuring him.” The reassurance was her favorite part.
“I probably enjoyed it more than he did.” Sitting forward, he caught her hand and drew her closer. “So we’re clear, I plan to continue enjoying time with him because I like him. He’s energetic and smart. He’s not an imposition, and neither are you.”
Unsure of where this was going, she nodded. “Okay.”
“I like you, too, Joey.” When she stilled, he smiled at her. “Don’t panic. I’m not making a move.”
Heat rushed into her face. “I wasn’t panicking.”
His smile tilted. “You look sunburned. Relax, okay? I wanted to have a no-pressure talk.”
A talk about what? “I’m relaxed.”
Dubious, he asked, “So would you like to talk, or would you rather I just hit the road?”
And leave her wondering? No way. “Let’s talk.” Total honesty seemed the way to go. “For the longest time, I thought you didn’t like me. Even though you were nice enough, it was in this strictly friendly way of park owner to camper, you know?”
“I like you, I always have, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t particularly want to like anyone – or rather, I didn’t want to get close to anyone, especially not during Christmas. As you already know, it’s not my favorite time of the year.”
It would have been hard to miss. He practically curled his lip whenever he looked at all the Christmas decorations in her tiny cabin. At first, anyway. Now...not so much.
“I had planned to be here alone for the entire month. Just me, my bad mood, and the park, without the holiday glitter and rush, the singing and gift exchanges.”
All her favorite parts. “But here I am.”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice sounding gruff. “Here you are.”
For a few seconds, they just stared at each other. Seriously, the urge was there to cuddle up against him, to breathe in his scent.
His scent always left her breathless.
However, her son was sleeping very nearby, so this was definitely not the time to go sniffing Hendrix.
“You know I’d planned to run you off,” he said, watching her closely. “Another camper I could have ignored, but not you.”
“Why not me?”
“Because you affect me differently. You always have. I could be on the other side of the park and I’d still spot you in a crowd.”
She laughed at that, finding it silly.
“Joey,” he chided. “Your hair is like a beacon on a sunny day.”
Without thought, she touched her tumbling curls. “My hair is a little wild.”
“Yeah, it is.” This time when he reached out, he did so slowly, giving her plenty of time to withdraw.
Only she didn’t. She stayed still while he coasted his fingers down one twining curl. “It’s bright and soft, and whenever you’re outside, the sun reflects off of it.”
“It’s the same color as Ryder’s.” In that moment, she realized something monumental: she had no idea how to talk to a man. Not anymore.
Hendrix outright grinned. “On Ryder, it’s cute. Whole different thing with you.”
She supposed that made sense, only she wasn’t doing too great of a job at rationalizing right now.
“You share the same green eyes, too.”
“His dad’s hair was straight, like Ryder’s, but darker. He didn’t get a bit of my curl.”
“Whatever combo of genes he got from you and his father, he’s an adorable kid.”
A direct shot to her heart. “I’ve always thought so, but then, I’m his mother and I love him.”
Hendrix shifted his teasing fingers from her hair to her cheek, his touch gently seductive. “Is that how you see yourself? Only as Ryder’s mom?”
No only to it. Being his mother consumed the majority of her existence. “It’s my number one role.”
“I respect that.” His attention moved to her mouth. “The thing is, I’ve always seen you as more. A mom, yes, but helpful to all the kids in the park, nice to campers, hardworking.” He waited a beat, his brows gathering closer, his gaze intent as he murmured, “Smokin’ hot.”
Surprise parted her lips, but since nothing came out of her mouth, she pressed them closed again. Certain that she’d just ignited, she fought off a sigh.
“When men look at you, most men forget you’re a mom and see you only as a sexy woman.”
Sexy. Smokin’ hot. Those were not words applied to her – certainly not since Ryder was born. She wasn’t sure if she should grab him, or unleash a silly giggle.
“The thing is, you could be the hottest woman on the planet and if you didn’t so obviously care for your son, I’d have no trouble pretending you didn’t exist. Kids deserve love and support.”
He was winning her over in multiple ways. “I agree.”
“As a cop, there were times when I could help, but other times when the court system left me tied up in knots. I’d see shit happening and I couldn’t do anything to make a real difference.
” He stared into her eyes until the connection almost felt tactile.
“The way you are, how much you care, it’s a big part of the appeal for me. ”
Score one for the struggling single mom. “So.” She licked her dry lips, more than a little aware of how he tracked the movement of her tongue. “I’m super-flattered. I need you to know that, okay? You’re...” She gestured at him, at his gorgeous face and incredible body. “All that, you know?”
“All what?”
How could she put it into words? Scrunching her nose, she said, “A female fantasy? Mouth-watering?” When he quirked a smile, she rushed on. “I’m just sorry that having company at Christmas is such problem for you.”
“Hey.” That single word, said so softly, was followed by the brush of his thumb over her cheek.
“Before you tax yourself with all your worries, I need to know if you’re interested or not.
But understand, Joey, no matter your answer, you and Ryder are welcome to stay here for the rest of the month, rent free.
In fact, I’d prefer that you stay because I have a hunch that your jumpiness is related to trouble, and – with no insult intended – I’m much better equipped to handle trouble than you are. ”
She stared at him. “You said so much, I’m not sure where to start.”
“Interested? Let’s cover that first.”
Okay, sure, she could do that. Cautiously, because it felt a little daring to admit, she whispered, “I’m alive, so of course I’m interested.”
The second the words left her mouth, she bit her lip. What am I saying? Before Hendrix could reply, she held up a hand. “Wait.” Ordering her thoughts wasn’t easy. “You have to know that as Ryder’s only involved parent, I’m never alone.”
“I’m aware.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss over her knuckles. That was sizzling enough, but then he turned her hand over and pressed another kiss, this one warmer, to the center of her palm.
Her toes curled and her breath quickened.
“Never,” Hendrix said, “not under any circumstances, would I want to come between you and your son.”
“That’s not how my husband had felt.” Remembering how Ted had been left a heavy weight on her soul.
Almost from the day Ryder was born, he’d resented his own son.
He’d been fine with letting Ryder cry as long as “the kid” didn’t interrupt his dinner or interfere with the game he was watching on TV.
His parents hadn’t been much better, always complaining that she spoiled Ryder, as if she should have been spoiling her husband instead.