Chapter 13
EREDINE
It was rare when I didn’t have something planned for my days off, and this Thursday was no exception. When I’d mentioned I missed my monthly hikes with Robyn and Arro, now that they were pregnant and unable to accompany me, Regan had offered to go in their stead.
Surprising, since Regan wasn’t overly athletic, and she was also pretty busy with the kids and planning the double wedding for her and Thane, and Arro and Mac, this summer.
But I didn’t turn her down. I loved hiking, being out in nature. It brought me calm, and when I was feeling overwhelmed, a hike always soothed me.
Currently, however, Arran occupied my thoughts. We’d gone running together almost every morning this week, as per usual, and I’d tried to be normal around him. Yet I felt different about him. I felt … closer to him.
He trusted me, and I realized something amazing.
I trusted him in return.
That feeling of closeness had heightened my attraction to him.
If I was honest, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to be with him. Intimately.
However, I also hadn’t changed my mind about avoiding romantic relationships for the rest of eternity.
It was a clusterfuck of emotions.
“You’re quiet,” Regan observed about five minutes in.
I’d chosen a trail fifteen minutes outside of Ardnoch, in an area called Ardgay, perfect for people who weren’t avid hikers.
It had well-constructed paths ambling through the forests, and you could either take the path to Loch Migdale or hike to the top to survey the views. I was leading Regan to the loch.
“Am I?” I threw over my shoulder.
“Yes. You’ve been kind of quiet all week, actually.”
“Or my whole life,” I joked.
“God, I thought Pilates would keep me in shape, but you’re walking this trail like it’s a straight path,” Regan called, sounding slightly out of breath. “Arrgh!”
I whipped around at her sound of pain. “Are you okay?”
She was several steps down from me, grimacing, her hand on her lower back. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She winced again as she prodded a spot near her spine. “Just twisted my back last night, and it’s acting up.”
“We can turn around,” I assured her.
“No, I’ll be fine. I’m not ruining your hike.”
This didn’t really count as much of a hike but more a walk in the woods. Still, I’d take it. “You sure you’re all right? How did you hurt it?” I turned to continue, but at her silence looked back over my shoulder.
She looked … embarrassed. “Uh, you know.” She shrugged and followed me again.
Realization dawned. “It’s a sex injury?”
“Eredine!” Regan sounded surprised. Which kind of pissed me off. She’d have no problem telling Robyn it was a sex injury.
“Well?”
She huffed. “I just don’t want to embarrass you.”
I frowned and stopped to look at her again. “I’m not embarrassed.”
Regan flushed. “I know, I just … you don’t talk about this stuff, so …”
“I talk about it,” I insisted belligerently. “We all talk about it.”
“No, I just meant—”
“I’ve had sex, Regan. Plenty of sex. I’m not some shy, clueless virgin you have to be a prude around.”
My friend blinked rapidly, clearly shocked.
Irritated, I turned and walked again. The steps led upward before they veered and started taking us back down toward the loch.
“I’m sorry.” Regan caught up with me. It was a tight squeeze for us both, but she seemed determined to look me in the eye. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that way.”
I shrugged because I wasn’t sure I hadn’t overreacted. “So. Am I right? About your back?”
Regan gave a huff of laughter. “Yes. We tried this new position last night, but Thane has stamina, so I was in the same slightly twisted position a bit too long, and I’ve got a knot in my back the size of Scotland.”
“Get him to massage it out. He put it there.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I will.”
We fell quiet again as I took the lead. Catching sight of a doe through the trees, I halted Regan with my finger pressed to my lips and then pointed so she could see the deer. Just as I did, a buck appeared beside the doe. Regan drew in a breath as we watched them forage.
Neither of us fumbled to find our phones to capture the moment. Instead, we stayed in the moment, enjoying it.
Silently, we moved on through the trail, trying not to startle the deer. As we neared the loch, Regan spoke up. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
I instinctually tensed. Not a fan of personal questions. “You can ask.” My tone implied I might not answer.
“How long has it been? Since you had sex?”
My cheeks heated as I snorted at the blunt query. “Nosy much?”
“Yes.”
That made me laugh, and I shot her an affectionate smile.
Regan’s shoulders seemed to drop as if she was tense over asking too.
“Let’s put it this way,” I answered. “I’ve only had sex with people I’m in a relationship with, and I haven’t been in a relationship since before coming to Ardnoch eight years ago.”
“That’s a long time not to enjoy intimacy. Affection.”
“I’m aware.” I stomped down toward the loch, not needing her to point out something miserable about my life that I was fully aware of.
“I’m not judging.”
“Really?”
Regan drew to a stop beside me on the banks of the loch. It wasn’t a particularly sunny day; the water reflected the light gray clouds above our heads. But it lapped gently at the shore, and birds cawed and tweeted among the trees. I closed my eyes, listening.
But then Regan broke my meditative state. “Of course, I’m not judging you. You know I’m not that person. I’m just … I don’t … I want you to have all the things. You deserve all the things.”
I opened my eyes and met her worried gaze and softened. I knew Regan and all the Adairs cared about me, about my happiness. “Thank you.”
“Have you ever considered casual sex? You know, just to take the edge off?”
“I can take the edge off on my own, thank you very much.”
She laughed. “Good. I’m glad. You know, until Thane, I probably had better sex with myself, anyway.”
I chuckled. “I’m so happy for you he came along, then.”
“Yeah, me too. But I’m exaggerating. I had casual sex before Thane, and it was good. I mean, it wasn’t the mind-blowing sex he and I have, but it was fun.”
“Don’t let him hear you say that,” I joked.
“He knows he’s the best I’ve ever had.”
“I’m pleased for you. Truly.” I was also envious as hell. “But your point?”
“My point is that you’re a beautiful, smart, fun woman in her prime, and if you want to have sex with someone, you should absolutely have sex with them. Casual sex is not against the law.”
“Regan, I know you mean well, but I am a grown-ass woman, and I know casual sex is not against the law or taboo or wrong. I just … I need to trust the person I’m in bed with, and I would need to trust that person to not want to make it into something more than sex. That’s an impossible combination.”
“Not impossible.” Regan stared at me with an unnerving, knowing look. “In fact, I’m certain we both know someone who fits the bill perfectly.”
I shook my head as I realized what all this was about. Remembering she’d set it up so Arran and I babysat the kids together, I sighed. “Whatever you do, do not take up matchmaking. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.”
“I’m not playing matchmaker.” She shrugged innocently. “I’m just putting thoughts out there. It’s up to other people whether they listen to those thoughts.”
“Yeah?” I smirked. “Well, why don’t you close your eyes and listen to what’s around us right now? You’ll thank me for it.” I closed my eyes and hoped she’d follow my lead.
Thankfully, she did.
She’d said what she wanted to say, so she didn’t mention it again.
Instead, we enjoyed the quiet of the loch. As we hiked back to the car later, she chatted away about wedding plans.
What I didn’t tell her was that she got me thinking.
I’d already been obsessing over Arran.
Now … I couldn’t stop imagining what it might be like to be with him.
Just one night.
Scratch the itch and be done with it so I could stop driving myself crazy thinking about it.
As if Arran heard me, my phone beeped in the side pocket of my yoga pants as we reached my car.
Meet me for a late lunch at An Sealladh in half an hour?
After I dropped Regan back at home, I drove to An Sealladh just in time to meet Arran for a late lunch. The restaurant parking lot was busy, and upon walking in, I found the place full of tourists.
Arran had texted he was already here under his surname, so I asked the hostess and she led me toward the front area that had the most spectacular views of the North Sea.
An Sealladh was actually the first place I’d spent any real time with Arran.
We’d gone to lunch with Arro, and he flirted outrageously with me, despite Arro’s presence, and I actually enjoyed myself.
Until later that day when we discovered someone had graffitied Arro’s car, and that someone turned out to be her ex-boyfriend who was now in jail for trying to kill her.
The Adairs really had been through the wringer these past couple years.
I spotted Arran before he spotted me.
He was leaning back over his chair, talking to an adjacent table of women. The one closest to him put her hand on his shoulder and laughed loudly at whatever he said.
A white-hot heat licked up the back of my neck at the sight of her touching him, flirting with him.
Who the hell was she?
Part of me wanted to turn around and walk out, but a greater part wanted to stake a claim I had no right staking.
As if sensing me, Arran’s gaze moved away from the table of what I assumed were tourists and found mine as I approached. He smiled as if truly happy to see me and then he said something to the women, gesturing in my direction, before he turned around in his seat.
The woman who touched him frowned at my approach and turned to her friends with a shrug of disappointment.
“Hey.” I slid into the seat opposite him.
“Hi.” Arran grinned. “I couldn’t go the whole day without seeing you.”
We hadn’t run together this morning because of my plans with Regan. “I’m sure you can get through a day without seeing me.”
“Can I?” His smile was flirtatious, his eyes roaming my face as if tabulating every tiny detail.
Then again, he had been flirting with a tourist before I showed up. “You looked like you were doing just fine without me.”
His smile dropped, but the light in his eyes didn’t dim. “Appearances can be deceiving.”
Those words, his expression, the deep rumble of his voice … I felt it all between my legs, and my skin flushed hot.
This was getting ridiculous.
“Are you ready to order?” A server appeared at the table.
Arran didn’t take his eyes off me. “Can you give us a few more minutes?”
“Of course.” She walked away.
“So.” Arran drummed his fingers on the menu in front of him. “What do you want?”
I swear to God I hadn’t intended to say it.
To put it out there.
The words just erupted out of me as if they had a mind of their own.
“I want a night with you.”
Arran’s lips parted in shock, his nostrils flared. “Excuse me?”
My cheeks burned as I struggled in the quagmire I’d just created. I either forged ahead, faced my fears, and had a little adventure to break up the monotony of my life … or I backpedaled and lied.
I straightened my shoulders. “I want one night only of no-strings sex. With you.”
Arran gaped like he’d never seen me before.
And I wanted the North Sea to come crashing through the restaurant to swallow me whole.