Chapter 14
ARRAN
Ishook my head, wondering if I’d heard right.
My pulse pounded in my ears as I asked, “You want one night only of no-strings sex? With me?”
Though I could tell from the strain in her eyes she was embarrassed, Ery set her delicate jaw with determination and nodded. “I do.”
Holy shit.
I slumped back in my chair, not sure how to respond.
Because I’d been seconds from gathering the courage to ask Eredine out on a date. A real date.
And she only wanted one night of casual sex.
Disappointment churned in my gut, and I did my best to keep that emotion off my face. How could I possibly agree to that when I wanted more? Fuck, I might as well ask Ery to plunge a knife into my heart, right? Because there was no way I could come out of this unscathed.
Yet the thought of being with her made my hands itch to reach out and touch her already. It would be a sweet bloody torture, though, being with her, knowing it was only for one night.
“You’re just staring and saying nothing.” Ery fiddled with her paper napkin, tearing off wee bits at a time. She’d lowered her gaze, depriving me of those gorgeous hazel-green eyes. “Did I mess up? Have I ruined our friendship?”
Fumbling for a suitable response, it took me a few excruciating seconds to say, “No, of course not. But why? Why one night? Why me?”
Finally, she looked up. Her expression was stiff with discomfort. But unfortunately, that was the consequence of asking your friend to fuck you.
Holy shit.
She’d really done that.
This woman surprised the hell out of me.
The noise of fellow diners faded as I anxiously awaited her reply.
“I trust you,” she said.
Joy filled me, a smile prodding my lips. I knew it was a huge deal to be given Eredine’s trust. She didn’t hand it over to many people, and I was honored she had done so to me. I only hoped I could be worthy of it. “Thank you. That means a lot. I trust you too.”
She nodded. “I know. I realized that the other night.”
I shrugged, awkward at the mention of my drunken meltdown last weekend.
The truth was, however, that I’d felt unburdened, lighter somehow, after confessing everything to Eredine.
Her understanding and compassion had blown away the dark cloud over my head.
Another reason I’d been determined to ask her out on a date today.
Not for a one-night stand.
“And …,” Ery took a deep breath, “I’m attracted to you. Obviously.”
This time I couldn’t help my smug grin, and she huffed and rolled her eyes, making me laugh. “Well, we both know I’m very attracted to you.”
Lips twitching with amusement, Ery nodded. “You’ve made that obvious.”
I laughed, unabashed. I’d never been afraid of letting someone know when I was attracted to them. “So why just one night?”
Her amusement fled. “One, I’m pretty sure you’re a casual-only kind of guy, and two, I don’t want a relationship.”
Casual-only kind of guy? Is that what I put across? “Ery—”
“I’m not cut out for a relationship, Arran.
I can’t give myself to someone fully like that.
And the reason I propose just one night for us is because I value our friendship.
There’s no harm in scratching an itch, right?
But if we were to prolong it, make it into something more, it would ruin us.
And I can’t live with that. I like having you in my life too much. ”
Fuck.
Dismay sat heavy in my gut because I heard the absolute sincerity and determination in Eredine’s words. She was certain she didn’t want to be in a relationship.
And I was certain that I did. With her. Only her. I wanted her to be with me, not just for one night. I didn’t know if anything serious would come of us dating—I only knew I wanted to try.
“You’re worried about our friendship,” she assumed, her brow creased.
Deciding I wasn’t enough of a masochist to put myself out there when I already knew the outcome wouldn’t be in my favor, I lied and nodded. “Aye. I don’t want to mess us up. But I … I am attracted to you. Very much. I know I haven’t hidden that.” I leaned forward. “Can I think about this?”
Abashed, her full lips pinched together as her gaze fled mine. “Sure.”
“Ery—”
“No, I get it. It’s fine.” She pulled her menu toward her. “What looks good?”
Feeling guilty, I wanted to keep explaining, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t thank me for it, so I pulled my menu toward me and made inane chitchat. The whole time, my pulse raced a little faster than normal.
My plot of Adair land sat on the coast about two miles from Thane’s and Lachlan’s homes and half a mile from Arro and Mac’s building plot.
Pulling up to the chunk of gorgeous real estate, I grinned at the sight before me.
Where once stood only foundations, now there was a structure, a wooden shell of the house.
I could finally visualize what my large, three-bedroom home was going to look like.
The site was abuzz with activity as I jumped out of my SUV and walked toward Thane.
My big brother smiled as I approached. “What do you think?”
“It’s coming along fast now, eh?”
“It’s getting there. C’mon, I’ll show you what’s been happening.”
I’d taken the afternoon off from the Gloaming’s renovations because Thane had offered to come out to my house site to update me on its progress.
We tried not to get in the way as he showed me that electrical and plumbing was being fitted.
Eventually, we made our way down to what would be my back garden overlooking the North Sea. It was spectacular.
“You’ll love it,” Thane promised. “Having this view every day is magic.”
“I’ve always been envious of yours,” I confessed. “I cannot believe I’ll have it too. We had it from some rooms in the castle, but not like this. When you stand from your living room looking out, you almost feel you’re floating on the sea. It’s amazing. We’re very lucky, brother.”
“We are that. I’m honestly still in shock you’re settling down, though. I half expected you to have packed up and left long ago.”
I frowned. “And leave Lachlan to handle the Gloaming alone? I wouldn’t do that. Not only have I invested my money in it, I wouldn’t break a promise this big to Lachlan.”
“No, I know that. I meant before that.”
I sighed heavily, trying to cool my irritation. It wasn’t Thane’s fault he’d assumed I wouldn’t stick around—it was mine. I’d left my family behind long ago. “I missed you all,” I admitted. “I missed home.”
Thane patted my back. “I’m glad. We missed you too. I don’t know what the kids would do without you now. Lachlan’s pissed off you’ve dethroned him as the favorite uncle.”
I chuckled. “That’s because I’m the cool uncle who gets them hyped up.”
“Aye, don’t I bloody know it.”
Chuckling, I stepped closer to the water and then looked back at the house. I needed to bring Eredine out here so she could see for herself what it was on its way to becoming. The thought of her scored an ache in my chest.
That ache was the awful fucking discontentment of knowing Ery didn’t want to date anyone, least of all me.
Though I suppose I should be flattered that she trusted me enough to want to scratch an itch.
Scratch an itch.
Bloody hell.
“What?” Thane scowled at the house and then back at me, and I realized I’d cursed out loud.
“Nothing.” I shook my head and turned back to the water.
“Something’s been bothering you lately. Is that something the reason you got drunk last weekend?”
“No. That was … I was just getting drunk with Lachlan.” Only the partial truth.
Thankfully, Lachlan had finally had a conversation with Robyn after he’d gotten wasted at the ceilidh.
She understood his fears, and he understood his fears couldn’t suffocate her.
He was trying. And Robyn was doing what she could to alleviate his worries without compromising her own happiness.
That was real love. What they had. Anyone could see it.
I never thought I’d envy my brothers for their romantic relationships.
Maybe I was getting sentimental in my old age. I snorted to myself.
“What now?” Thane frowned.
I heaved another heavy sigh and studied my big brother. He’d been married, widowed, and now was engaged after a somewhat scandalous affair with his much younger nanny and sister-in-law. Maybe his opinion wouldn’t be a bad thing. “I have this friend.”
Thane smirked because everyone knew what I have this friend was code for. “Okay …”
“And my friend has this very good friend who he has feelings for. But she just asked him for no-strings sex, one night only, because she doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship with anyone, and my friend doesn’t know what to do about it.
Does he have sex with her and hope it’ll just naturally develop into something more, or does he tell her no, or does he just take what he can get and sleep with her once? ”
My brother gaped at me.
“Well?” I scowled.
Thane cleared his expression. “Okay … when you say feelings, do you mean your friend has serious feelings for this woman, or is it just an attraction?”
I looked away, uncomfortable with the depth of feelings I had for Ery, honestly not entirely sure what they meant. “He wants to date her to find out if it could be serious.”
After a few seconds of silence that felt like forever, Thane said, “I’d need more background about your friend and his friend to give a truly insightful opinion …
but what I will say is that I’d worry about your friend getting hurt.
He has to trust that his friend means it when she says she doesn’t want a relationship, so he’d be risking a lot if he went into it, hoping he could convince her otherwise. ”
“So you would say no, then?”
“It depends. I knew deep down when I got into it with Regan that I was at risk of getting hurt, but I did it, anyway. It worked out for me, but it might not work out for your friend. Your friend should follow his gut, but be prepared for it ending badly if he goes for it.”
That sounded fucking delightful.
And yet, as I got back into my car, I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering, to imagining what it would be like to have Ery.
To devour every inch of her. There had been so many moments between us I’d caught myself from reaching out to touch her, where I’d been seconds from saying “fuck it” and just kissing the hell out of her.
I could make it so good, she’d need a second night, and a third and a fourth …
My hands tightened around the steering wheel as heat thrummed through me.
Aye, I think my mind had already been made up from the moment Eredine Willows asked me for one night only.