Chapter 15 Brodan #2
“Thanks, Ms. Sinclair.” Eilidh beamed.
Lewis scowled at the table.
Fuck.
Monroe’s face fell while Regan stared at her stepson in surprise. “Lewis, what do you say to Ms. Sinclair?”
He shrugged.
Double fuck.
“Lewis, do not ignore Ms. Sinclair.”
His eyes flicked up to me and then to Monroe. “Thanks.”
Shit. Fuck. Shit.
Monroe was right again.
Regan caught my eye and looked between me and Monroe, a warning in her expression for all to see. Great. Now my sister-in-law was catching the vibe, and it wouldn’t be long until Thane heard about this. My big brother would not be happy I was causing his son problems at school.
I wasn’t happy.
Because this meant I was going to have to act like I could stand to be around Monroe for Lewis’s sake.
“If you’ll excuse me,” Monroe said quietly and strode away.
I forced myself not to watch her leave and engaged in conversation with an exuberant Eilidh who tried to get me to taste everything she, Regan, and Lewis baked.
More people came to our table, and Walker became my entertainment, distracting me with the gruff and almost aggressive way he sold Sloane’s cakes for her.
What brought an American to Ardnoch as a housekeeper, and how did she get the job in the first place? Curiosity reminded me to ask Lachlan.
“I helped Mom with the pie,” Callie said to Walker during a quiet moment.
“Aye?” he asked. “You a good baker, too, then?”
Callie smiled shyly. “I like it. Mom wants to open a bakery, and I could help.”
Walker looked at Sloane. “Bakery?”
She sighed. “Pipe dream.”
“I don’t know about that. You can bake, woman.”
Her eyes grew heated at the growled compliment, and I shot Regan another look. My sister-in-law watched Sloane and Walker as if they were the best soap opera on telly.
“You should try my lemon meringue pie sometime,” Sloane offered with a hint of flirt. Not too obvious, but enough for a man to hear the invitation in her words.
Walker Ironside nodded. “That would sell well here. Next time.”
Regan looked at me, rolling her eyes in exasperation.
Walker was a perpetual bachelor. Either he genuinely was unaware of Sloane’s attraction to him or he didn’t want to lead her on. Could be either.
As Callie talked to Walker about the best flavors of buttercream (a topic I’d never thought I’d hear Walker actively engage in), my attention wandered. Like a magnet, I got stuck on Monroe.
Annoyance flared through me at the sight of her laughing with some good-looking bloke and his son. I recognized the kid from our rehearsals. He was in the chorus and one of Lewis’s friends. Martin or Michael or Mason or something with an M.
The good-looking bloke held out a cake toward Monroe, and she flushed.
He gestured with it, and she rolled her eyes before taking a bite right out of his hand.
She nodded, making big eyes at him, and the bastard leaned over and slowly wiped a crumb from her lip with his thumb.
Then he licked the crumb off his thumb. Fury swirled in my gut as Monroe blushed, murmured something, smiled sweetly at him, and strolled out of the cafeteria.
Jealousy licked up my spine as I glared at the guy. He was staring after Monroe with determined satisfaction.
Not thinking straight, I excused myself. Walker was too busy listening to Callie to notice me leave, but I could feel Regan’s watchful gaze on me. Ignoring her, I hurried through the crowds, hearing my name murmured among them and not even bothering to offer them a friendly Hollywood smile.
It was like I was possessed.
My boots echoed off the shiny corridor floors as I turned left at reception and hurried through the double doors toward the classrooms. I ducked my head into every doorway until I found her in her classroom, halfway up the corridor.
Monroe stood at her desk, staring out the window, as if in a daze.
Because of the fuckwit dad who just practically licked a crumb off her lip? Was something going on between them?
I’d meant to discuss Lewis.
To promise to be more professional, so he would go back to treating Monroe with respect.
But it was like a devil took over my body and my mouth.
“You know you’ve got some cheek slapping me on the wrist for flirting with a music teacher when it looks like you’re fucking a pupil’s parent.”
Monroe whirled on me.
I saw my words sink in.
“Excuse me?” she seethed, her eyes narrowed.
“Everybody caught the show,” I drawled, strolling with a casualness I did not feel toward her.
To my astonishment, Monroe retreated physically.
That pissed me off, her acting like she had something to fear from me.
My devil made me keep moving and she suddenly registered she was backing up and stopped.
“What do you want, Mr. Adair?” She tilted her chin defiantly.
I huffed at her formality. “I want you not to be my nephew’s self-righteous, pain-in-the-arse teacher. But here you are.”
“Self-righteous?”
“Sticking your nose in the air.” I searched her face, fully looking at her, and realizing there were more freckles on her forehead than there used to be.
There was a new one at the corner of her right eye too.
“Admonishing me and Ava for harmless flirting, while you let your pupil’s father practically lick your mouth.
” Said mouth drew my attention, and a perverse heat flickered through me.
Roe had a full, pouty mouth that had driven me mad as a teenager and made me feel guilty as hell anytime I fantasized about doing something sexual to it.
I could still remember how well she kissed. How soft her lips were.
Goddamn it.
My eyes flew to hers to find her glowering at me. “Step back, Mr. Adair.”
See? There it was again. The insinuation I’d hurt her.
“Afraid to be too close to me? Too tempting?”
Monroe sneered, and I felt her disdain like a slice across my gut. “I’d sooner fuck a cactus.”
Ironically, her words pricked my vanity. “Quite the potty mouth for a primary school teacher.”
“I think you need to stop obsessing over my mouth and leave me alone, Brodan. I preferred it when you were ignoring me.”
I didn’t move away. I moved closer, determined to see that heat in her eyes she used to give me when we were teens.
Don’t ask me why. Call it a masochistic need to play with fire.
“I didn’t come here to argue with you, Ms. Sinclair.
I came to let you know that from now on, I will be professional and acknowledge you during rehearsals, for Lewis’s sake.
But I don’t want you mistaking it for me being interested in forgiveness or friendship. ”
Her gray eyes searched mine. Then she curled her upper lip. “I would never mistake it for that, Mr. Adair. You can choke on your bitterness for all I care, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my relationship with Lewis. You’re nothing to me anymore.”
Fury and other feelings I couldn’t quite admit to churned in my gut as I pushed my face into hers, making her gasp. “You should never have come back here. No one wants you here.”
True torment flashed in her eyes, and suddenly I remembered her parents.
All the pain they’d caused.
All the hurt they probably still inflicted upon her.
My thoughtless jibe suddenly took on a monstrous quality. What the fuck was wrong with me?
Self-hatred slammed through me, but before I could say anything, take back the words, a familiar deep voice whipped into the room. “Brodan.”
I looked over my shoulder to find Walker glaring at me. “What?”
“Out here. Now.”
I raised an eyebrow at his demand but turned back to Monroe. Her gaze had dropped to the floor, the color drained from her cheeks.
What did I care, though, right?
My gut wasn’t in knots because of her.
I opened my mouth to speak—
“Brodan, now.”
At Walker’s clipped tone, I muttered a curse under my breath and pushed off the wall.
I waited for Monroe to look at me, but she just kept staring at the floor. My eyes dropped to her fisted hands. Her knuckles were white with strain.
Anguish filled me. A thousand apologies and a thousand accusations swirled inside. I turned and stalked out of the room, glowering at Walker as I stormed past him. “What the fuck is it?”
He caught up with me quickly, but remained silent until we neared the cafeteria doors and the noise of the bake sale beyond. “Brodan.”
I stopped and looked at him. Something in his expression rendered me silent. There was a menacing air around my friend that I’d only ever witnessed when fans were getting too close to me.
“I’ll say this once and only once,” Walker warned. “If I ever hear you intimidate or talk to a woman like that again, I don’t care if you fire me, I will knock your teeth out myself.”
It was like he’d punched me. Indignation stole my breath. “I wasn’t intimidating Monroe.”
Was I?
“I saw you towering over a woman half your size and talking to her like she was shit on your shoe. Is that who you are, Brodan? Because if so, tell me now, and you won’t need to fire me. I’ll see myself out.”
Bile rose in my throat.
“You should never have come back here. No one wants you here.”
Self-directed disgust floored me. I felt so lost. So detached from myself.
This wasn’t me. This wasn’t the man I wanted to be.
The last few weeks rolled through my mind, and I stood outside myself, seeing the way I’d treated Monroe.
Even if she had abandoned me when I needed her most …
did I really want to be the man who acted like this?
Someone I hated? Someone my friends no longer respected?
I scrubbed my hand over my face, exhausted. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck!”
Walker stared at me stonily.
Flinching at his disappointment, I apologized, feeling like a wee boy. “I’m sorry, Walk. I … it won’t happen again.”
“It’s not me you need to apologize to.”
The very thought of being vulnerable toward Monroe shriveled my balls. “I can’t.” I looked at the cafeteria doors, the noise behind them increasing beyond bearing. “You don’t understand. And I can’t go back in there. Will you tell them I felt unwell and had to leave early?”
“What the fuck is going on, Brodan?”
Monroe’s downcast face flittered across my mind.
“She takes me back to a terrible time in my life. But you’re right.
” I rubbed my chest, trying to soothe the sharp pain.
“It’s no excuse. Eighteen years ago … well, if I’d seen someone treat Monroe the way I’ve been treating her, I’d have laid them out.
I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. ”
“You know …” Walker shifted uncomfortably. “You can talk to me if you need to.”
I appreciated that and said so. “But I just want to forget it. I don’t want to dredge it up.”
“I don’t know if that’s working for you. And while I thought me making your decisions for a while might be a good thing, I see I was wrong. Your life is yours again, Brodan. Keep your Black Shadow. It’s time to make your own decisions.”
I nodded, understanding. “My first decision is … to not be here.” And with that, I turned and walked away before Walker could say anything else.
The truth was, I wasn’t sure if I was angry at Monroe, or if I was just using her as a punching bag. But no woman, no person, deserved that, and if I couldn’t fix my head enough to be around her, then I couldn’t be around her.
But not being around her meant letting Lewis down.
So all that was left to do was bury the anger and move on.