Chapter 16 Brodan
brODAN
It was the first time in a few weeks that the Adairs found themselves all in one place.
Thane’s house was filled with my siblings, their partners, and their children as I strolled into the living area.
My nerves had been torn to shreds the last few days, but while standing there, taking them all in, a sense of peace calmed me.
This was what I needed.
My family.
The room smelled amazing, rich with Regan’s cooking. The island was laden with ingredients for chicken tacos. Nice.
“Uncle Brodan!” Eilidh yelled before jumping off the couch.
Pure love filled me as I lifted my niece into my arms. Her long legs dangled comically. “Hi, princess. How are you today? Treating your royal subjects well, I hope.”
Eilidh wrinkled her nose as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “They make it hard sometimes. Especially Mum.”
“Eilidh Adair,” Regan, who was nearest to us in the kitchen with Robyn, admonished half-jokingly.
I snorted as Eilidh grimaced and whispered, “Oops. Forgot she was there.”
“What did I ever do to you?” Regan huffed, hands on her hips.
“You know what you did,” she said like a forty-year-old.
Shaking with laughter, I lowered Eilidh to her feet, and she gave Regan a raised eyebrow and stalked off to throw herself back onto the couch beside Arran and Eredine.
“I have no idea what I did.” Regan looked at her sister in confusion. “Do you?”
Robyn shrugged. “No, but if you’re already getting that kind of sass from her, you’re screwed when she’s a teenager.”
“You gave birth to an Adair, so good luck when Vivien starts talking.”
Leaving the sisters to tease each other, I wandered farther into the room, greeting everyone. “Where are my other two favorite nieces?”
“Napping upstairs,” Lachlan answered. He sat in Thane’s armchair, eyes closed.
I chuckled as Mac nodded from where he sat at the dining table with Arro. “The girls sleep whenever they’re together.”
“Aye, I think we’ll all have to move in together,” Arro cracked.
Lachlan’s eyes opened. “It’s sad that I almost want to do that.”
I patted my big brother’s shoulder as I passed. “Sleepless nights?”
“Vivien is going through a nocturnal phase right now,” he murmured, his eyes already closing again.
My gaze shot to Robyn, who studied her husband with affectionate sympathy.
She looked tired too. Christ, I didn’t envy them.
But then she crossed the room and eased herself onto the arm of the chair.
She pressed a kiss to Lachlan’s temple as she tenderly brushed his hair back from his face.
His eyes opened, and he smiled softly before pulling her onto his lap.
Okay.
Maybe I did envy them a wee bit.
I also worried for Lachlan. If something ever happened to Robyn or Vivien, it would destroy him.
It would destroy Thane to lose Regan or the kids. Arran to lose Eredine. Arro to lose Mac or Skye.
Growing up and losing what we had, my siblings had to have known what they risked. They were just braver than I was.
The thought attempted to sour my mood, so I pushed it away and wandered over to Lewis, playing a game on his tablet. He hadn’t said hello, and I wondered if it was because I’d bailed on the rehearsal.
As if she’d read my mind, Eredine said from her spot at the other end of the large corner sofa, “Are you feeling better, Brodan?”
I frowned.
“Regan told us you left the bake sale early because you were sick.”
“Oh. Aye. I had a headache come on.” Feeling guilty about the lie, I lowered to my haunches by Lewis, drawing his attention from the game. “Hey, bud.”
“Hi, Uncle Brodan.” He stared at me impassively.
“Can we talk?” I jerked my head toward the sliding doors, gesturing to outside.
“You’ll need jackets for that,” Regan called from the kitchen, proving she had bat ears. She moved toward the hallway. “And don’t be too long. Dinner will be ready soon.”
As I stood, Regan returned with Lewis’s jacket. He lowered his tablet to the couch and got up to shrug it on, still not looking at me or saying a word. More guilt consumed me. It was a wonder I could function with the amount of it I carried daily.
Leading Lewis to the sliders, I heard Regan ask Eilidh, “Now, what’s this about me doing something to you?”
“You know what you did,” Eilidh repeated in a huff.
“Eilidh, don’t cheek your mum,” Thane admonished gruffly.
I opened the slider door, the biting November air blasting through us.
“She ruined my favorite shoes. She said she was getting them fixed, but I found them in your closet!”
“She has a name,” Thane said with his authoritative dad voice. “And what were you doing in our closet?”
“Um …”
“Eilidh.”
“Looking for Christmas presents.”
I closed the slider behind me and Lewis as the room erupted into noise as everyone chimed in on the conversation. Except for Lachlan and Robyn, who I think might actually have fallen asleep.
Turning to Lewis, the deck light illuminating us, I grinned. “Your sister is something else.”
Lewis smirked as he rubbed his chilled hands together. “Her friends told her that Santa only brings one present and the rest is from our family. Then they told her all the good places to hunt for them.”
“Did you join in the hunt?”
He shook his head. “I’d prefer to wait until Christmas.”
Nodding, I turned and stared out at the blackness beyond.
Clouds obscured the moon tonight, and I couldn’t make out the sea.
But we could hear it crashing against the coast. Despite the cold nipping at our skin, the fresh sea air was awesome.
Not for the first time, I considered that plot of land waiting for me along the coast from my siblings’ architect-built homes.
Thane had designed each one to maximize the spectacular view.
“It’s freezing,” Lewis reminded me.
“Right.” I glanced down at him. “I just wanted to chat with you about something. First, I’m sorry for leaving early on Friday.”
He dropped his gaze. “It’s fine.”
“No. It’s not. I haven’t been acting … I haven’t been the best uncle to you, and I’m sorry.”
Lewis frowned. “You’re helping with our school musical. The other kids think I’m lit.”
“Lit?”
The wee shit smirked. “It means cool, Uncle Brodan.”
Right. I knew that.
“Anyway, some of my friends have even seen your movies.”
My lips twitched. “And they think you’re lit because of me?”
He nodded seriously.
Grinning, I reached out and hugged him to my side. “You’re a good kid, Lew. But … I noticed that you’ve been a bit rude to Ms. Sinclair lately, and I think I know why.”
My nephew stiffened against me but didn’t pull away.
“You know, a long time ago, Ms. Sinclair and I were best friends. A bit like you and Callie.”
“Really?” He stared up at me, shocked.
“Aye. When we were your age. Younger, even. We became friends in P1 and never looked back.” A hollowness gaped in my chest. “But life happens, and stuff that I won’t get into because it’s private occurred between us.
I think you’re old enough to understand that.
That some things are just between two people. ”
Lewis nodded, solemn.
“But all you need to know is that my behavior has been wrong.” I’d had two days brooding alone in my room at the estate, Walker’s threat ringing in my ears, to really step outside myself.
To see myself for the prick I was. Guilt and fear had warped me.
And I vowed to stop letting them control me.
“I’ve been rude to Ms. Sinclair, and it’s going to stop.
I don’t want you thinking she’s wronged me somehow and acting accordingly, as much as I appreciate your loyalty.
Ms. Sinclair is a good teacher, and I know you like her.
She deserves to be treated with respect. ”
He relaxed, the tension seeming to drain out of him. It made me feel like an even bigger selfish bastard.
“Okay, Uncle Brodan.”
“You’re a good kid,” I repeated.
“Am I a good actor?” He grinned.
Chuckling to see the Adair charm I’d used in my career shining back at me, I nodded. “Aye, you’re that too. But if I have my way, you’ll follow in your dad’s footsteps. You know he’s way more lit than me, right?”
“You think so?” Lewis seemed chuffed about that.
“Oh, aye. Your dad is the very best of men. I can only hope to be half the man your dad is, Lew.”
My nephew puffed up his chest with pride and nodded. I might be an uncle that Lewis admired, but Thane was the dad he hero-worshipped. The man he loved and most wanted to be like.
An ache splintered in my chest as I stared down at my nephew, filled with more love for the boy than I’d ever anticipated. That ache, I realized, was longing. Perhaps even something like envy toward Thane. It shocked the shit out of me. But I couldn’t deny I felt it.
That pull a man might feel when he wanted children of his own.
Fuck.
Off-balance, I shrugged off my confused feelings with a smile. “Come on, let’s go eat tacos.”
Stepping back inside, delicious heat hit us at the same time my family’s curious gazes did. I was sure Thane would ask me later what all that was about, but the rest of them could just wonder. Nosy buggers.
A short while later, all of us seated around the dining table, we created a cacophony of noise that Lachlan kept wincing at, his attention on the baby monitor beside his plate. Finally, our conversation died down as we dug into the tacos Regan and Robyn had put together.
“I just wanted to give you a heads-up,” Regan said, breaking the verbal silence, her eyes on me. “That social media journo, Harriet Blume, who was here annoying everyone this summer, is gossiping about you on her platform.”
Ignoring my irritation, I swallowed a bite of taco. Wiping my chin with a napkin, I replied, “What’s new? The gossip rags will gossip.”
“Well, she’s posting frequently about you and how you’re here hiding because Celia Bergstrom broke your heart.”