Chapter 26 Cleo
Cleo
My lip hurts with how hard I bit it this morning, trying desperately to keep myself quiet as I came. On River’s orders, I had sweet dreams, mainly of her doing sinful things to my body. I woke up soaking wet and halfway to an orgasm, so what was I supposed to do? Relieve the tension, of course.
Getting myself off on a ship isn’t the weirdest place I’ve masturbated, but it’s probably the most public. In that the walls are thin, and I’m constantly surrounded by people. Even in my quarters, I feel the crew’s presence keenly.
The thought of being overheard wasn’t enough to stop my hand drifting below the waistband of my sleep shorts, though.
Not when my mind had spent the past eight hours picturing River’s face between my legs.
Hell, the dream was so vivid, I swear I woke up being able to feel her lips and fingertips all over my hot skin.
She renders me a mess. I’m the one who put caveats in our dating deal, and I’m ready to cave after just a couple of days.
However, it’s not out of pure lust. I’ve seen a side of River that calls to me on a deeper level.
I’ve listened to her joke about with her friends, me included.
I’ve watched her work with a professionalism and passion which was close to breathtaking.
She’s opened up to me and shared trauma, which I know she finds hard to talk about, even with her best friends.
River is so much more than I bargained for, and my body is responding to her… viscerally.
I ache to feel her against me, to feel her heart beating with mine as we melt into each other.
I just hope that when it happens River feels as strongly as I do.
I don’t know if sex with her again will yield anything different for her from the first time we slept together.
I know it will for me, because—frighteningly—my heart is very much involved, and that means I’ll enjoy sex so much more.
It took two orgasms to—somewhat—satisfy me enough to get out of bed. I want to rush to her cabin, climb in her bunk and stay there for the day. As much as this foray into my father’s world has been pleasantly surprising, I’d kill to be on land and near a bed right now. Does River feel the same?
I’ve just returned from the shower room when my phone buzzes on my bedside table. Hope flares in me that it’s River. A smile which makes my face ache blooms at the message waiting on my lock screen.
Sexy Sailor
Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?
You
Very well! My dreams were extremely pleasant.
Sexy Sailor
That good, huh? Do tell, I’m eager to hear all about it.
Damn, I’m getting wet again.
You
Let’s just say it ended well…twice.
Sexy Sailor
Damn, Cleo, I was trying to keep it to mild flirting, but now I want to…
Oh please, finish that sentence.
Sexy Sailor
I can’t wait to see you later. I’m going to stop texting now and hit the gym, because I have a serious case of lady blue balls.
I burst out laughing. She’s not the only one. Dropping my phone to the unmade bed, I dry myself off, humming to distract my brain from conjuring delicious images of River and me…in bed…wet and wanting.
“Jesus,” I hiss at myself.
Work, that’s what I need to do. Work until I can’t think anymore.
With a pile of interviews done and typed up, I’ve decided to get a little more involved with the crew.
So far I’ve talked to a few selected people, but I really want to experience the life of a sailor as authentically as possible.
With the permission of the captain, I’m going to shadow different sectors, with the hopes I’m put to work.
I want to know what it is about the job that thrills people enough to make a potential life at sea their career for forty-plus years.
Obviously not every crew member will retire out.
Some will do the mandatory four years and then take advantage of the many perks of being an ex-sailor.
I know the Royal Navy is pretty good at offering ex-service people opportunities to train in areas which would help them in civilian life.
For a while, growing up, I wondered why my dad hadn’t taken advantage of those programmes.
I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t want to work close to home.
It made me angry every time he came home on shore leave, only to ship out again.
The older I got, the more pissed off I became, and then he cheated on Mum and that was that. Our relationship was barely anything.
It’s possible the next few weeks might give me an insight into his mind. Maybe I can understand what drew him so deeply into this life that he couldn’t do anything else.
To some degree I see similarities to him in River. The interview she gave me was bullshit and we both know it. The real reason she belongs here is much deeper. Is it possible for someone to be born to do this? Was my dad?
My first shadowing experience will be on the bridge with the captain.
I’ve chosen her first for two reasons. First, respect.
Captain Morley has been nothing but welcoming and accommodating.
I’ve seen her only once since the dinner with my father, and I feel she deserves some time.
I want to know what it took for her to get where she is, and I really want to see her in action.
Second, I want to observe her with the crew, namely her lieutenants.
I want to satisfy my curiosity and belief that Captain Morley wouldn’t sanction the bad and discriminatory behaviour of her officers and crew.
I’ll have to spend more than a day with her for that, but we’ve still got weeks at sea, so I’m not worried.
Before I go anywhere, though, I need to call Honor, because she’ll hurt me if I fail to regale her with last night’s date—in detail—again.
“Did she sweep you off your feet?” Honor asks as the call connects.
Laughing, I shake my head. “One day you’ll say hello like a normal person.”
“Pfft, boring. I am impressed you called though. I was preparing myself for a game of phone tag until I got hold of you.”
“Well, I said I’d call, and here I am.”
“The date, Cleo. Spill.”
And so I do. I tell her about the lovely, yet slightly chilly, stroll around the flight deck.
She gasps and squeals when I tell her about the gorgeous picnic River arranged.
Honor asked me to describe the view in so much detail I felt as if I were back on that platform, staring out to sea with the stars shining down.
Bloody hell, it was a good second date.
“Christ, Cleo. I’d have dragged her into my bed without a second thought.”
“Trust me, I wanted to. I want to!”
“Do it. Seriously, she’s going to rock your world.”
Don’t I know it!
“And don’t start bleating on about the rules you set in place, blah blah blah. You’re practically on date one hundred in lesbian terms with being in such close quarters. You like her and you want her. Go for it! Have weeks of mind and body altering sex.”
“You’re extremely bossy sometimes, my love.” I chuckle.
“Yes, you tell me nearly every time we talk. I’m right though, so get to it and ca—”
“I will not be calling you with a rundown of my sex life, Honor.”
“Ugh, fine. How is everything else going? Have you cracked the super-secret case?”
“Not yet, but I will. Look, I need to get to work.”
“Love you,” she sings.
Now my mind is back on River and it’s not ideal when I need to face the captain, so I think I’ll go for a walk around the ship first.
Stopping for a coffee in the lounge, I see Grey sitting at a table alone.
I’m tempted to sit with her, but then my gut kicks in and I know it would be a mistake.
Maybe because River said she had something to share with me.
It’s not a leap to think it’s in relation to Benson, and therefore Grey to some degree.
Instead of sitting, I order an espresso, throw it back, and leave. My legs automatically take me in the direction of River’s place, which makes me internally roll my eyes.
Get a bloody grip, woman!
Then I remember she mentioned the gym, and by God, I just can’t stop myself.
The only issue is there are five of the bloody things on board.
Searching them all just for a glimpse of her in gym shorts is close to desperation.
I’ll own it. I’m a woman possessed. I can’t think about anything else.
I can’t focus on work. I can’t focus on the investigation.
All I can think about is River. River in gym shorts. River sweating. River looking at me with those eyes.
Jesus, I’ve got it bad.
The first two gyms were a bust. I started at the one closest to River’s quarters, but no luck. The third one…jackpot!
I push through the door and am instantly hit by the smell of sweat.
There are several people scattered around the different bits of equipment.
It’s Boot’s voice that snags my attention.
I look over to where she is and audibly gasp.
Boot is standing by River, encouraging her on as she squats with rather heavy looking dumbbells.
I think I just came.
River is…well, I’m not sure I have the vocabulary to describe what looking at her is doing to me internally.
My eyes start from her trainers and slowly glide up. Muscles ripple as she strains. I’ve never seen legs with such definition. She’s wearing tight gym shorts that are plastered to her backside, making her bum pop. Thank you, gym mirrors, for that little gem.
Further up, my eyes land firmly on her abs.
Defined and sweaty. With just a sports bra on, I can see every curve and bulge.
River’s arms glisten under the halogen lights, showing me just how strong she is.
Her biceps are utterly magnificent. I want to run my hands over them.
I want to feel her strength. I want to feel her pressed against me, all that power and muscle and heat…
My mouth is dry. My palms are sweating. My heart is pounding so hard I’m sure everyone in the gym can hear it.
Tracking a bead of sweat from her throat to between her breasts, I lick my lips instinctually.
“One more, Romeo, come on you’ve got it,” Boot bellows at her. Looking from River’s bust to her face, I’m not surprised to find her staring straight at me. She’s wearing a baseball cap backwards, hiding her dark hair, and she looks good. Total butch vibe going on, and I like it.
River squats one last time, pushing up with a grunt of determination. Boot helps her guide the heavy dumbbells to the rack where they belong. I watch Boot smack River on the arse and laugh as River bends at the waist, breathing heavily.
I’ll look weird if I stay here watching much longer, so I casually walk over to them.
“Good workout?”
Boot cackles. “I love it when I get to thrash her like that.”
“You nearly killed me, you arse!” River pants.
Tutting Boot shakes her head. “I got you to put some effort in is all. You’re the one who came to me wanting a tough routine.”
I smile to myself, knowing I’m the reason she needed such a workout.
“Feeling better now?” I ask.
Boot has her back to us, cleaning the equipment. River peers up through her eyelashes. “A little,” she replies, casting her eyes from my head to my toes.
My willpower vanishes in an instant. I want her…now. Taking a step forward, I bend down until my lips are level with her ear. I do not want Boot overhearing.
“Maybe I could help with any lasting…tension?”
I’m being bold. I’m being direct. I’m breaking every rule I set in place, and I don’t care anymore. Honor was right: life is too short to overthink this. River makes me feel alive. River makes me feel brave. And right now, I want her more than I want my next breath.
In my peripherals, I see her swallow several times and I hear her breathing hitch for a second.
“I wish,” she murmurs back.
“Follow me,” I say, standing back up. “See you later, Boot.”
She turns and waves. I give River a pointed look and then head out the door, hoping she follows.