Chapter 8 Knife Against My Shoulder
I remained motionless, staring at Han Zheng's face. I tried to see any hesitation or reluctance there.
But he only fluttered his eyelashes slightly and nodded.
I refused to give up. I asked him urgently, clutching at a straw. "Then why are you following us?"
"I said it. I like Wen Ci. At first I wanted to use him to drive you away. Later I really fell for him."
"But since he is with you now, I cannot drag him back. What? Cannot I follow and watch for a few days?"
"......"
My heart ached almost to spasms. It took a long time before I heard my own hoarse voice. "I don't believe it."
Something hot slid across my face. I wiped it and repeated with a sneer.
The evening wind made my head dizzy. I grabbed Han Zheng's wrist and pulled him into my arms. I held the back of his head and kissed him.
He struggled fiercely. I pinned both his hands above his head. My other hand slid down along his waist and abdomen.
Han Zheng's body stiffened. His voice trembled in panic. "There... someone might see..."
Yes, outside.
I should tie him up at home to make him behave.
Without waiting to get home, I dragged Han Zheng into the car and impatiently tore open his clothes.
I knew Han Zheng's body the best. As soon as I approached and touched him, he could not help trembling.
I was the same.
When we were at our best, we wished to grow on each other. Even in our fiercest fights, when he said he had no feelings for me, his body remained honest.
He used to like my body so much. There should be some reluctance.
Even if he treated me as a tool, using me longer would be fine.
I never thought that nearing thirty, I could be so undignified for love.
Just when I felt I was going crazy, something cold pressed against my shoulder. It instantly pulled back my clouded mind.
I lifted my eyelids. The boiling blood cooled suddenly.
It was the knife I gave Han Zheng for self-defense.
My own name was carved on it by my hand. People who knew me would not dare touch him.
Back then, Han Zheng sat on my lap watching me carve. He mischievously held my hand and pointed it at his chest.
"Jiang Zhong carving name on me is more convenient? This way everyone knows I am yours."
But now, he held this knife against me.
"Let go of me! I have no feelings for you anymore, can't you understand?"
His words cut sharper than the knife.
"I understand."
I held Han Zheng's hand that gripped the knife. I met his panicked eyes and leaned down to kiss him.
The knife tip pierced the skin into the flesh. The sudden pain quickened my breathing. But my nerves thrilled at Han Zheng's cry.
"Jiang Zhong! You are crazy!"
"Get up!"
My blood flowed down the knife handle onto Han Zheng's hand. His hand trembled. His angry rebuke became incoherent pleas.
"Jiang Zhong... Jiang Zhong... can you get up please..."
"Please... if you get up I will listen to everything you say..."
Han Zheng's rambling cries were swallowed by my kiss. The thick smell of blood mixed with his low whimpers.
It felt like a dream before death.
So all it took was some blood to gain Han Zheng's pity.
I thought obsessively. If I died on him now, he would never forget me.