25. Addison
25
Addison
T uesday morning dawned with still no word from Noel. She mustered the courage to send him one more message. Good morning, Noel. I hope you’re okay. Should I be worried?
At work, she went about her tasks, grateful that she’d been at her job long enough that she could practically do things on autopilot. When Natalie arrived at noon, she didn’t even ask. One look at Addison obviously told her everything.
By the end of the day, she just wanted to go home and cry. How had she read things so wrong? Nothing about Noel had painted him as the kind of guy who did stuff like this, who just disappeared after spending so much time with her over the last several weeks. She’d thought they really liked each other, especially when he held her hand and kissed her goodnight the way he did.
“Maybe I’ve just been reading too much into things,” she admitted to Natalie as she logged out of her station. “I mean, I’ve definitely given him a tour of the town, which is all he originally asked for.”
“Yeah,” Natalie said with a sarcastic scowl. “But I’ve never heard of tour guides who were expected to provide home-cooked meals and kisses.”
Addison shrugged. “Maybe we’re just country bumpkins and don’t know big city expectations,” she said, trying to keep the sour note out of her voice. “I mean, it’s possible he was just taking advantage of the extra services I provided.” She made air quotes with her fingers around the words, ‘extra services.’
Natalie narrowed her eyes at her. “Hopefully, they only included food and kissing.”
“Nat. Really? You know me better than that.” The memory of sharing a few hours in the company of a certain Icelandic tour guide flashed through her mind. He’d shared his kleinur , homemade or not, and a few kisses with her under the Northern Lights, hadn’t he?
Maybe that was just the modern way of things, after all.
“And we’re not country bumpkins, girlie,” Natalie argued. “For Pete’s sake, you’ve traveled the world.”
Addison shook her head. “I just don’t get it, then.”
“Why don’t you drive over to the resort and confront him? That’s what I would do.” Natalie would, too. She wasn’t the kind of woman to let a man take advantage of her. She knew what she wanted and didn’t accept any less.
Addison shook her head again. “I can’t. I’m not like you, Nat. And we’ve only been seeing each other—if I can even call it that—for a few weeks. No one has said anything about making things official.”
“I think spending every non-working waking moment together automatically makes it official,” Natalie countered. “Just because he didn’t pass you a note asking if you want to be his girlfriend.”
“Right? That’s what I thought, too. I just feel so na?ve, you know? I mean, there were probably red flags that I missed, but because I don’t know what to look for in a—a—”
“A player?” Natalie suggested, one eyebrow raised sardonically.
“Ugh. No. That makes him sound so awful. And maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I’m not girlfriend material. It’s not like I’ve had a lot of experience in that area. Maybe I’m just not… enough for him.”
“Now you stop that immediately, girlie. Don’t let this guy make you change the way you feel about yourself. No one should have permission to do that, you hear?” She gave her a tight hug. “You, my friend, are not the problem here. He is.”
Addison hugged her back, but said, “I still find it hard to believe that he’s that kind of guy.”
“Yet, after today, evidence seems to prove otherwise,” Natalie countered.
Addison frowned and slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder. She sent her friend a concerned look. “What if he’s been in an accident or something awful like that, and he can’t respond? Wouldn’t it be awful if I was sitting here thinking the worst of him, while he’s lying in some hospital bed somewhere?”
“Don’t even go there, you hear?” Natalie shook her finger at her. “You just pray that thought right out of your head.”
“But if that were the case,” Addison admitted a little sheepishly, “at least it wouldn’t be because he didn’t want to be with me.”
“And you would feel absolutely terrible if that were, indeed, the case, wouldn’t you?”
Addison let out a frustrated sigh and nodded. “I’d feel like the worst person in the world if something bad happened to him.”
“Then go home, enjoy that delicious chicken curry you didn’t get to eat last night, and indulge in some you time. Read a book. Or go to your friend’s bookstore and find something new. Binge-watch a new show. Something to keep your mind off that man. You are not allowed to mope around, you hear?”
“Good food. Good book. Good show. No moping. Got it.” Addison gave Natalie a brave smile. “Thanks for being my friend. I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Wednesday passed in long, restless hours of confusion and concern. She berated herself for being so affected by Noel’s behavior. They’d only just begun to see each other, so it wasn’t like she had a right to expect anything from him. At the same time, she couldn’t help replaying every moment they’d spent together trying to sort out what had gone wrong.
Had she said something that had offended him? If so, why not just say so? Surely, she wasn’t so intimidating that he couldn’t tell her if she’d made some kind of a faux pas, was she?
Natalie had insisted that Addison had good reason to drive around to the resort and talk to him face to face.
“I don’t even know his suite number,” Addison had said, shaking her head.
“Then ask for him at the front desk. It’s not like he’s a guest there.”
“I’m not going to do that,” she told her friend. “I don’t want to embarrass him.”
Natalie was a take-the-bull-by-the-horns kind of girl. She would have gone to the resort Monday night and refused to leave until the man spoke to her. But she understood Addison well enough to know that wasn’t her nature, and she didn’t keep pushing her in that direction. “I hate that he’s done this to you, Addison, but if this is the kind of guy he is, maybe it’s best that it’s happened so early in the relationship.”
“If you could call it a relationship,” she said dismally.
“You were relating, weren’t you?” Natalie shot back.
“We were,” Addison acknowledged. “And I thought we were relating quite romantically, too.”
“So, stop beating yourself up. He’s the loser in this scenario.”
But Addison couldn’t get the notion out of her head that there was more to it than him simply losing interest in her. Something must have happened to so abruptly change the direction they’d been going. They’d spent almost every evening after work and weekends together, reluctantly leaving each others' company at night's end, and now, complete silence?
“It’s called ghosting for a reason,” Natalie said, her voice gentle. “People do it all the time. It’s their problem, their weakness, not yours.”
“But when it’s done to me, it becomes my problem.”
“Only if you stick around for it.”
Their conversation played out over and over in her mind as she got ready for bed that night. It was still early, but she had a good book that she’d started at Natalie’s suggestion yesterday, and there was no reason not to spend the last part of her evening reading in bed.
But once she was in her super soft knit jammies, her mug of tea on her nightstand, she sat on the edge of her bed and stared down at her phone.
“I have to try one more time,” she finally decided. “I can’t give up yet.”
Noel, please know that I’m thinking about you and praying for you. I do hope you’re well, but I have big shoulders if you ever need them. Hugs.
She sent the message, then set her phone face down on the nightstand and slid her legs under her plush bed covers and picked up her book.