6. Stefan
STEFAN
All I could think about was how quickly my life had imploded in the last twelve hours.
Tori was blowing me off right when I needed her most, Anja had shown up out of nowhere, I had a son that I’d never met, and my father was still an asshole. Add to that how precarious my plan to take down KZ Modeling was, and it was almost too much to handle.
I was at a loss over my wife. The way she was acting so distant today had me worried.
Obviously she had to be feeling some shock and upset over the whole Anja and Max situation—who wouldn’t?
I was upset too—but it almost seemed like Tori was trying to punish me for it, and I wasn’t sure why.
Especially considering how close we’d been in bed, just hours ago.
Had I done something wrong? The events at the penthouse last night had been a total mindfuck, but Tori was the one who’d insisted that I stay at my father’s place with Anja.
I had wanted Tori to stay, but she’d refused.
What should I have done? Put off talking to Anja and gone home with my wife, instead of leaving her to sit in our empty condo and go to bed alone in the guest room?
Should I have pushed harder to keep her at my side, so she’d have been with me during the discussion with Anja?
Tori had been so adamant. Maybe I should’ve fought her.
I went into the kitchen and poured myself some of the coffee Tori had made, gulping it down black and lukewarm, and then stuck a slice of bread in the toaster oven.
My mouth was dry, my head pounding. I was beyond hungover from the whiskey and from skipping both lunch and dinner the day prior.
I’d been so focused on prepping Tori for the big Sunday night dinner at my father’s that I hadn’t bothered taking care of myself. And now I was paying for it.
As I forced down the dry toast, I went over the events of last night. I could still remember every moment in detail, from the confrontation with Anja to arriving home and finding the bedroom empty. For one, long, horrible moment, I had thought that Tori had left me.
Not that I would have blamed her. The whole thing was a fucking mess. Anja. Max. My father. Who wouldn’t want to get as far away from that nightmare as possible?
I’d found her easily enough in the guest bedroom, her body curled up almost self-defensively under the pile of covers. My heart ached at the sight, at the realization that she’d hidden herself away from me. And then the way she’d acted this morning. It was killing me.
I wanted Tori at my side. I needed her to help me through this, to be my wife and partner.
Somehow, though, it seemed like I had fucked everything up.
Being a husband was new to me. Being a good husband was even newer.
How was I supposed to know how to act, what to say?
My own father had never provided much of an example on that front. I was doing my best.
Speaking of which—how the hell was I supposed to know how to be a dad?
That was the newest role of all. I could barely stand to think about it.
Knowing that I owed it to Max to step up after all these years helped, though.
In a way, it took the decision right out of my hands.
Of course I’d be there for him. However I could. I just didn’t know where to start.
I had barely gotten a good look at the boy before he was taken away to bed, but I’d seen his green eyes. Zoric eyes. They’d looked like a perfect mix of mine and Anja’s blue-green.
Coming home to Tori, my mind blown, I’d stripped off my clothes and crawled into the guest bed, automatically reaching for her.
I’d wanted her so much, needed to be inside her with a primal need that I’d never felt before.
It hadn’t taken much to wake her, had taken even less to seduce her.
Tori had always been easy for me to read, so I’d made it a point to learn everything that turned her on.
I knew she liked it when I took charge, when I dominated her, and I was always more than happy to comply.
Her body had been warm and welcoming under my hands, and I’d fucked her until she was panting and begging beneath me.
The tight clench of her pussy as she came had been nearly enough to set me off as well, but I’d managed to hold on for a bit longer, wanting to savor the feel of her body against mine.
I’d wanted to possess her, to fill her up, to claim her completely.
And she’d wanted that, too. I could tell by the way her body reacted to mine, how quickly she came again on my cock.
I’d fucked her hard, but she had liked it, had begged for it. I’d given her everything she’d asked for, whispering words of love and desire the whole time. I’d meant it all, even if the alcohol had loosened my tongue more than I had expected.
None of it had been a lie. I loved her. I needed her. I wanted to believe she felt the same.
My head had ached when I woke up that morning, but finding the bed empty I’d dressed quickly. When I’d stepped out of the guest room, I found her standing in the hallway, frozen, looking like she’d been caught sneaking out. And then she’d proceeded to evade me.
She’d denied her odd behavior when I’d called her out on it, but I saw right through the act. Her eyes were too wide, her smile too bright and quick. Even her voice had sounded off, higher pitched and cheerier than its usual timbre. She’d left in a hurry.
I didn’t understand. She was being distant—first insisting she leave me alone with Anja at my dad’s, then coming home and sleeping the guest room, and then trying to sneak out this morning while I was sleeping. What was she playing at? Why wasn’t she being honest with me?
It had taken all of my strength to stay upright while I questioned her. Now that she was gone, I slumped in my chair. I was exhausted. Everything ached. After finishing my breakfast, I took a few ibuprofen and got in the shower, hoping the hot water would help me think.
As I stood under the spray, I realized that I couldn’t put off my paternal duties any longer than I already had—and since Tori had said she would be gone until later tonight, I might as well tackle the kid issue right away. Decision made, I started feeling better already.
I toweled off and got dressed, putting on my usual uniform of a perfectly tailored suit, Italian shoes, sleek designer watch, and a slim silk tie.
When I looked in the mirror, I saw what I needed to see: someone who had their shit together.
Someone formidable. Someone who wasn’t going to be pushed around.
Then I grabbed my cell phone and dialed my father.
“I’m not going to make it into the office today,” I told him, keeping my voice calm and collected. “Figured I should take some time off and get to know the kid.”
He couldn’t know how thrown I’d been by all of this, or that I was worried about my marriage or Tori or anything else. I had to appear unflustered. Untouchable.
“You have my blessing,” my father said. I could hear the glee in his tone, could tell he was gloating over all his vile plans coming together, whatever they were. “Take all the time you need, Stefan. Nothing’s more important than family.”
After asking for Anja’s number, I’d gotten off the phone, hating him even more.
As I dialed her number, I found myself pacing in the living room, unable to sit still.
I wasn’t nervous about talking to her—I was nervous about seeing my kid.
She wouldn’t deny me that, based on the conversation we’d had last night, but I had no idea how I was supposed to act around Max, or if he’d even accept me as his mother’s ‘friend.’ Springing the whole dad thing on him today wasn’t part of my plan, but I was hoping to at least start building some kind of relationship with him.
Anja and I could discuss the logistics of it later, once I had a better idea of what I was capable of offering, and if the boy seemed open to seeing more of me.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Anja. It’s Stefan,” I said.
“Hey. I’m glad you called,” she said, sounding relieved.
Hearing her voice, I realized I was still angry at her.
Even though most of my fury was rightfully directed at my father for instigating and enabling the whole disappearance, I still couldn’t help feeling frustrated and betrayed over the fact that Anja had been fully capable of reaching out to me for the last eight plus years—had had every opportunity to contact me and tell me that we had a son—but instead chose to remain silent and hidden.
And I still didn’t know if I could trust her.
It was then that I realized I didn’t know what name to use. She’d mentioned that my father had helped her get a whole new identity; surely she wouldn’t go by Anja anymore.
“What name do you use now?” I asked. “Should I call you something else?”
She laughed. “My friends call me Annette. But Anja is good. It’s nice to hear it again.”
“Okay. So. The reason I’m calling is because I’ve given it some thought, and I feel like we should spend some time together,” I began.
“Yes of course,” she said eagerly. “Max too?”
“Max is the only reason we have to spend any time together,” I said. “And if he was over eighteen, I would be calling him, not you.”
I wasn’t trying to be harsh, but I wanted to be clear with her from the beginning. This wasn’t about her and me. This wasn’t about what we’d had or even about the declaration of love she had dropped at my feet last night. This was about Max. This was about our son.
“Okay,” Anja said, but some of the happiness had gone out of her voice. “I understand.”
“I took the day off,” I went on. “Pick a place we can go. Somewhere Max would like.”
“Somewhere Max would like,” Anja repeated slowly, taking a moment to think. “Why don’t we go to the zoo? He loves animals. Those are his favorite channels on TV, too.”
I filed away this information in my mind for later, committed to learning everything I could about my son.
It would also help me break the ice when I saw him.
Part of me wanted to beg Anja for a full run-down, to take notes on all his likes and dislikes, to get whatever information I could that would make it easier to build a relationship with the kid.
But I also wanted to learn about him on my own.
Do the hard work myself. Let Max tell me what he liked, and show me who he was.
Children were more complicated than people gave them credit for, but I was willing to take the time to figure him out. Hopefully he’d feel the same about me.
“I’ll send a car over to pick you up at my dad’s place,” I told her. “My driver will wait at the curb. Meet me at the front gates.” I hung up before she could say anything else.
Maybe it was cold, maybe it was cruel, but Anja’s feelings weren’t my priority right now.
Tori’s were. Unfortunately, she’d left that morning without giving me a clear understanding of what she needed or wanted from me. I had no idea what to do. But as I’d learned in the past, when it came to Tori, she valued honesty and openness. I could manage that.
Quickly I texted her, telling her what I was doing with my day.
Took off work—going to the zoo to get to know Max better. Anja will accompany us. Let me know if this is a problem. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with any of this.
I waited for a response. And waited.
Nothing.
I knew she was in class, but I couldn’t wait all day. I also couldn’t imagine she’d have a problem with my plans, and I hated the idea of canceling on my kid last minute. I kept an eye on my cell until I had to walk out the door to meet Anja and Max, but Tori never replied.