Chapter Thirteen
ALEX
Well, don’t I feel like shit.
The heat of the water beats on my back as I stand in the shower, trying to contemplate how this went so incredibly wrong. I knew telling Tomi would be rough, and I knew she’d react, but what I didn’t count on was her finding out before I had a chance to break it to her in the right way.
She wasn’t meant to find out like that.
I was supposed to explain things.
Bringing her here tonight was stupid.
It was a snap decision, and now it’s cost me everything.
I never even thought about the certificates on the wall or the file I was working on, the one I carelessly left on the coffee table— wide-fucking-open . Full of details about Tomi’s new shop. How I’m designing it for her. How I’m going to pay for the setup and the rent. How she and Levi are going to be okay because of me.
She wasn’t meant to see it. Not like this.
If she had only scanned the first page, she would have seen my business card. Maybe even the notes about the demolition on Hope & Faith Ink. That would have been enough . That would have explained everything before she had the chance to spiral.
But I didn’t think.
I.Didn’t. Fucking. Think.
Stupid.
Dumb.
Foolish.
I clench my jaw so tight it hurts, my fingers digging into my scalp before I slam the side of my head with a thud. The impact is dull, but it doesn’t matter—it’s not enough to knock the sheer fucking stupidity out of me.
How could I be so careless?
The hurt in her eyes was clear, but the anger, the rage, that seeped from every pore. I wanted to go after her, to stop her from leaving, to try and explain everything, but I knew attempting to force the issue then and there would only push her even further away. Tomi’s stubborn. Actually, more than stubborn. In that moment, she wouldn’t have heard anything I had to say.
I have to give her time to cool down, and it kills me.
But mark my words, I will tell her about the new studio and explain everything the way it should have been done. The way I had planned, if my needs didn’t overrule my sanity.
The news hit her harder than it was supposed to because of the way she found out.
I was going to break it to her gently.
The right way.
What a total fuck up!
Every bit of this is my fault.
What the hell was I doing, bringing her here? There’s too much of me , Alex Scott, in this damn penthouse. Leaving her alone was a huge mistake and an even bigger regret.
Turning off the faucet, I step out of the shower, my skin bright red from the heat of the water. I wrap the towel around my waist and rub my hand along the mirror to remove the fog. A hazy reflection of myself appears in the mirror, and I detest the man I see before me.
I lied to her.
All this time, I believed I was protecting her, but I was being selfish because I was only protecting myself.
“You are an asshole, Alex Scott,” I mumble at my reflection.
I believe what I’m saying as I let the words sink in.
My chest squeezes, thinking of the pain Tomi must be feeling right now.
I can’t even imagine what she’s going through.
Drying myself off, I walk into my bedroom, the soft towel doing nothing to chase away the unease settling deep in my chest. My gaze sweeps over the massive, meticulously designed space—floor-to-ceiling windows, expensive furniture, everything curated to impress. Everything cold. Everything impersonal.
I curl my lip. Tomi’s right. This isn’t me. It never has been.
I only live here because my father insists it’s what’s expected of the second in charge of our firm. That image, that illusion of success—polished, powerful, untouchable. But all I see is a place that feels more like a showroom than a home.
The kind of place where nothing feels real. Where nothing feels mine .
I’d take a small suburban house over this any day—somewhere lived-in, warm, messy in the best ways. Somewhere, I could actually breathe.
Somewhere that feels like me .
Hell, even I worry I’ll break the shit in here sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I just want more freedom to do what I want with it and with my life. I don’t need all this fancy shit. It’s not who I am.
I want to share a life with Tomi. I want to share a home with Tomi and Levi. I want to come home from work knowing our home is a mess. But before all that, I wanted her here, tonight, in my bed for the first time. Not because of this place, but because then she would know me as Alex, and we could have worked through it. I wanted her to know me — all of me . For me to have no more secrets. But it was all a massive fail.
My father will be so happy.
If it all falls through, he’ll have a shop he can open, and he won’t have me spending time making Hope & Faith Ink version 2.0 perfect for Tomi.
Dragging my feet over to the bed, I climb in. My sheets feel like sandpaper even though they are God-knows-what threat count on my hot flesh. But it’s so empty without Tomi by my side. I sink into my giant bed and flick off the sidelight. The room descends into darkness as the view of the San Francisco night sky makes its way through the floor-to-ceiling windows. The stars twinkle, shining like there’s not a problem in the world.
The only problem is that there is…
I’m here alone, and Tomi is out there, hurt and angry.
Tonight’s a disaster.
But tomorrow?
Tomorrow, I’m going to make it right.
***
Unsurprisingly, I slept like absolute crap. All I could think about was messaging Tomi. But I have to do this right and in measured steps. I need her to know I’m not letting her go without a fight, a fight I intend to win.
I know she’ll be back at the shop packing up stock, so I have to head down there to talk to her. Now that she’s had some time to cool off and think things over. I’m still not entirely sure how much she knows.
Does she know I’m building her a new shop?
Or does she only know who I am?
But either way, I need to put it out on the table so she knows the whole story about me, my firm, her shop, everything .
I know she said she’d call the police if I came near her, but I have to try this, anyway.
The risk is worth it.
The thing is, my father needs some signatures from the other tenants while I’m down this way, so when I see Tomi, it’ll be the first time she’s seen me in a suit. The first time she’s seeing me as Alex.
Henry pulls the car to a stop in front of Hope & Faith Ink. The closed sign is still turned around, but I can see Jana and her working inside. Nerves filter through me, my stomach twisting in on itself as I straighten out my tie and step out of the car. “Thanks, Henry, I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”
“Sure thing, sir,” he replies, driving off to find a park somewhere.
I take a breath, peeking inside the studio from the sidewalk. Tomi looks amazing, even if I can tell from here she’s lacking energy. Her hair’s up in her usual ponytail with that red bandana wrapped around her head, coupled with tight jeans and a flannel top. She has a style which is utterly perfect. Today, though, she’s wearing ballet flats instead of heels. She’s going for comfort instead of glamor, but she’s still flawless.
I make my way to the door. My palms are sweaty as I reach for the handle and turn it. As I step inside, Tomi and Jana spin to me. Tomi’s face is pale, but the redness under her eyes doesn’t get past me and shows me just how tired and hurt she actually is.
Her eyes widen while she takes in the sight of me in a suit for the first time, then they narrow, and her lip turns up in obvious disapproval. “So, this is the real you?”
Nodding, I walk in further, picking up a broom to start sweeping the floor. “I’m still me, Tomi.”
Jana snorts but keeps pulling the pictures off the walls.
Tomi keeps working on dismantling the workstations as I sweep. “Just you have a different name, wear different clothes, and are as disguised as the devil himself. Yeah… still you,” she snaps.
I can’t help but feel happiness forming on my lips. “There’s my sassy gir—”
“I’m not your girl.”
I stop sweeping and place the broom carefully against the reception desk. “I’m sorry, Tomi. I know it came as a shock—”
“A. Shock ?” She spins to face me, her cheeks bright red. “Shock? No. Actually, I don’t think the word shock covers it, Alex .”
“Stop saying my name like that, Tomi. I’m Xander to you. I’m no different—”
“Just stop ! I told you if I saw you again, I’d call the police. I meant it, Alex .”
I grit my teeth, walk up to her, pull out the small pink and silver cherry blossom keyring, and hand it to her. She glances down at it, her breath catching for a moment, taking in the beauty before she stands tall, puffing out her chest like you see men do just before they’re about to get into a fight. She snatches the keyring from me, tossing it onto the desk with reckless abandon. “You think you can waltz in here and impress me with some cheap-ass keyring just because it has a cherry blossom on it?”
Shrugging, I tilt my head. “It’s actually Swarovski and has real diamonds in it, but that’s not the point. The point is—”
“The point is, you’re trying to hussle me, again , Alex!”
My girl is one tough woman.
Exhaling, I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out a piece of paper. Her eyes narrow on me. “Here. Just read this.”
She rolls her eyes. “Why the hell should I?”
Swallowing hard, I shrug. “If our time together meant anything to you, Tomi, please … just read it.”
She snaps the paper from my hand, then turns away from me, opening it to read it over. I inhale as I glance at Jana to see her watching us carefully.
Tomi’s head snaps back to face me.
I can’t read her.
Is she happy?
Is she angry?
Shit! I can’t tell.
“Is this supposed to be some sort of buy-off?”
My head snaps back. “What?”
She scrunches the paper in her hand and throws it at me. “You think you can take this place away from me, this place that means every- fucking -thing, and replace it with a new one. And I’m supposed to believe that you, you… of all the lying, deceptive, manipulative scumbags in the world, are going to pay my rent?”
Jana’s eyes light up, just like I hoped Tomi’s would, but, of course, Tomi’s as stubborn as they come.
Of course, she’s going to fight me on this.
“Yes. The answer is yes, Tomi. Because I’ve been coming here as a customer for two years, and because of that, I know you. I know the workers. I know what this place means to all of them, to you, to Levi…” I take a step closer as she tilts her head like something clicks in her mind.
“And just how exactly did you get it past us that you’re Alex Scott? When you came in the first time, you would’ve had to show us your ID to get a tattoo. Jana would have seen your name?”
I glance at Jana— she already knows —who is folding her arms across her chest with the biggest of frowns appearing.
I gulp down the lump in my throat. “I used a fake ID. I knew if you saw who I was, you probably wouldn’t deal with me—”
“What? You did that so you could scope out the shop, you fucking asshole!”
“No, Tomi, no. I swear. It was so I could get my tattoo done by the best, without you thinking I was doing exactly what you’re thinking. If I came in and told you who I was, when I started sending you emails a few months later, it would have been… weird .”
“And this isn’t?”
I exhale, trying to bring it back to my original point. “I know this is messed up. I couldn’t find a way to keep the original Hope & Faith Ink building, but I have been working on a new design that’s going to be similar to what it is now, but with a few better features, with things you wanted in your dream store.” I sigh. “I’m doing this for you because I can. Let me give you this, Tomi.”
She scoffs. “Right, so I can be indebted to you for the rest of my fucking life? No, thank you, sir . I don’t have the money to fall back on if shit hits the fan. Then I’d need to pay you back everything.” She folds her arms defiantly. “No. The answer is no . Firmly, no . Now leave, Alex, you’re not welcome here.”
My chest aches at the idea of never seeing her again, so I make a move. “You’re still my girl, Tomi. Whether you want to be or not. Whether you believe me or not. You will always be my girl .”
She laughs unrestrained. “Who says shit like that? I’m not your girl, Alex. Now get the fuck out.”
I glance at Jana, who has softened her stance toward me. I smile weakly at her, then turn and walk toward the door. “I’m not giving up on you, Tomi. Ever !”
“Please do,” she replies, making me laugh.
“There’s my girl .”
“Not your girl,” she cuts back.
“Yes, you are,” I state, walking out and closing the door behind me before she can say anything more.
I turn back to see her watching me and dip my head, to which she flips me the bird. If anything, that little action has only made me more determined to get her back.
And I will.
I just have to show I’m not giving up on her.
She needs to know how much I care about her and Levi.