Chapter 14 #3
‘I hope one day you wear it every day and get pleasure from it like your dad did.’
Connor nodded.
‘Sixteen, eh?’ She smiled. ‘Where did those years go?’
Declan walked in and handed his brother a card. ‘When I’m sixteen, I am going to fly a glider. Arek told me that you only have to be sixteen to do that.’ Declan peered through his glasses.
‘Well you’ve got that to look forward to,’ Nina said with a smile. She turned back to Connor. ‘You could invite some of your friends over this evening if you’d like.’
‘Actually, Mum, if it’s okay with you . . .’ He hesitated. ‘I made plans to go out with Anna. She’s . . . she’s in my class.’
Nina noted the bloom to his cheek when he spoke her name.
Connor had been a little less antsy of late, as keen as ever to engage with his phone when he thought he could get away with it.
She watched him of an evening from the end of the sofa, noting the smile of relief flood his face when there was a text waiting for him.
He was like a different boy from the one she lived with at The Tynings; gone was the exasperation, the tension, that bookended her every encounter with him, and although she was uncertain if he would admit it or had even fully realised it, he was happy at Cottrell’s.
What’s more, she very much liked the person he was becoming.
This situation, which she would never have chosen, was shaping him in a positive way.
Hardship eroded his sense of entitlement and in its place a nicer, humbler boy was emerging.
‘Oooh, Connor’s got a girlfriend!’ Declan called out and ran in a circle, trying to avoid his brother’s grip. ‘Connor and Anna sitting in a tree . . .’ Declan ran down the hall as Connor tumbled after him, laughing.
After a long day at work with the now familiar ache in her back and her calves from being on her feet all day, Nina was keen to get home and see her boy on his special day.
As soon as she walked in the door she could hear Declan splashing about in the bath.
It was always a relief that the boys had in fact come home from school safe and sound.
She knocked on the bathroom door. ‘Hey, darling, I’m home! ’
‘Hi, Mum!’ he called, before continuing to splash.
‘Try to keep the water in the bath, okay?’ She pictured water pooling on the dodgy floorboards and gave thanks that they were on the ground floor.
Connor was in the bedroom, rifling through his clothes.
‘Hey, birthday boy!’
‘Hi. I’m wearing my ring tonight.’ He lifted his hand to show her. She had to say, it suited him well.
‘Perfect.’
While Declan languished in his bath and Connor got dressed, she heated up some leftover pasta and tomato sauce and sat down to eat.
‘Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?’ she asked Connor as he wafted into the room in a cloud of sweet-smelling body spray.
‘I’m sure. We are going to Sprinkles to get a milkshake.’
‘You look lovely.’ She winked at him.
Nina reached into her handbag, unzipped her wallet, and pulled out three pound coins.
‘Here. For your milkshake.’ She didn’t want him breaking into his birthday ten-pound note.
It choked her to recall the bundles of cash that used to lie dormant around the house, and others she would remove from Finn’s pockets when laundering his clothes.
She would peel off notes and fling them in her son’s direction every time he stepped out of the front door.
‘Are you sure?’ He looked from the coins in her palm to her face.
‘Yes! I want you to have fun.’
‘Thank you, Mum.’ The real thanks was the way he looked at her.
When the buzzer rang, Declan ran out of the bathroom and raced down the hall half dressed. ‘I’ll get it!’
‘No you won’t!’ Connor practically grabbed his little brother and tossed him into the sitting room. All that rugby training was clearly paying off. Nina rushed over to Declan and whispered, ‘We have to be on our best behaviour. This is important to Con, okay?’
‘’Kay.’ Declan sulked on the sofa with his chin on his chest.
Nina heard nervous laughter from the hallway and was surprised to find she, too, was nervous.
Connor stood by the door and held out his arm, encouraging Anna to walk in.
Anna looked at Connor admiringly, and Nina knew that she was right to feel the flip of nerves; from the way the two of them looked at each other, this relationship seemed already more than an insignificant crush. ‘Mum, this is Anna.’
Nina stood up and smiled at the slight girl, whose thick, dark hair hung about her shoulders in a delicate wave.
She was wearing a close-fitting navy dress that had an uneven hem and was of a shiny material that squeaked a little when she moved.
Her heeled shoes were a little too big for her, borrowed, Nina suspected, for the occasion.
She wore little make-up; the natural prettiness of her heart-shaped face was obvious.
Nina remembered the clusters of girls that hung in packs in and around Kings Norton College, the glossy, blonde, tanned girls with designer togs, expensive watches, tiny sporty cars of their own and heads full of their next and last adventures abroad.
Anna was different. She carried an air of poverty that Nina recognised and in truth loved her all the more for it.
She pictured herself at sixteen, remembering how hard it was to look and smell nice without money; the way she watched other girls, wishing she too could wander into the high street shops and walk out with bags fit to bursting with the latest trends, convinced that if she could, then she would feel less self-conscious.
Only a year later, and life with Finn had meant she could do just that, and yet still her lack of confidence persisted, despite trying so hard.
‘Hello, Anna,’ she offered warmly, giving a small wave, thinking a handshake might be too formal and a hug the exact opposite.
‘Hi.’ Anna smiled to reveal slightly crooked teeth.
‘I’m Declan,’ he called from the sofa, without standing or lifting his eyes from his phone.
‘I’ve heard all about you, Declan.’ At this, Declan looked up and broke into a wide grin, obviously pleased his big brother had spoken about him.
‘We’d better . . .’ Connor indicated with a nod towards the door.
‘Yep.’ Nina smiled, wishing for more of an exchange, but knowing the right thing to do was wish them a nice time and not embarrass her son.
‘Have a lovely evening! And don’t forget, be back by 10.30,’ she managed. Anna gave a wave as Connor placed his hand on her lower back, in a gesture that was so grown-up, so confident, Nina knew it would stay in her memory.
As the door closed, she sat next to Declan. ‘Well, Anna seems nice, doesn’t she?’
Declan shrugged before turning his attention back to his game.
Nina had often imagined Connor going to prom.
She pictured him walking down the wide staircase of their house in a tuxedo, holding a delicate fresh corsage in a box for a lovely girl.
She would have taken great joy in ferrying him and his date in Finn’s flash car to their grand dance .
. . Now she didn’t even have a car to go and fetch groceries in, and barely the money to pay for them.
‘It’s a funny old world,’ she said.
‘Why is it?’ Declan looked up from his game.
She pulled him closer to her. ‘I was just thinking about our old life. What do you miss most, Declan, about living at The Tynings, about going to Kings Norton? Is there one thing you would like more than any other? Is it a car?’
‘You mean apart from Daddy?’
Her heart swelled at his sweet response. ‘Yes, my darling, apart from Daddy.’
Declan sighed and looked towards the window where the neon sign blinked through the blinds. ‘I miss my bed.’
‘Your bed?’ This was unexpected.
‘Yep.’ He nodded. ‘I loved my big bed. I used to be able to spread out and I liked to sleep with my feet hanging off the end, but I can’t do that here. The bunk beds are much smaller and they have that board at the bottom that stops me dangling my feet.’
‘Oh, Dec!’ she put her arm around him and cuddled him to her. ‘How can we fix this?’
‘Get bigger beds?’ he asked hopefully.
Connor arrived home at 10.30 on the dot, as if not to waste a second.
‘Did you have a nice evening?’ Nina asked from the sofa.
He smiled and nodded, as if he had a happy secret. She hoped so. ‘Well, it goes without saying that you can bring anyone here whenever you want to.’
‘Thanks.’ He nodded, no longer rebuffing the idea as stupid or embarrassing.
He opened his palm and let the three pound coins clatter onto the work surface. ‘We didn’t go for a milkshake after all. Just hung out, walked around.’
His sweet gesture, not pocketing the money for himself as he so easily could have done, made her want to howl with love for him.
‘I’m off to bed,’ he said with a yawn.
‘Happy birthday, my darling,’ she called after him.