Chapter 15 #2
‘Are you sure?’ she asked, a little nervous of being in such close proximity to the man who was, after all, still a stranger.
‘Yes, of course! Jump in.’ He leaned over the central console and pushed the door wide.
Nina slid into the comfortable interior and was instantly and powerfully taken aback by the memory of her old life, when she got into a car not dissimilar to this one, every single day, to nip to the shops, to drop and collect the kids from their fancy school. It felt like a lifetime ago.
‘Are you okay?’ Jacob asked as she stared at the illuminated dials of the dashboard.
She nodded. ‘I forget sometimes about the life I’ve left.
Our circumstances have changed quite a bit and I’m so busy living every day, but just now I climbed into your car, and I realised that it’s been a while since I sat in anything this comfortable.
I took my beautiful car for granted, took a lot of things for granted.
’ She pictured her freezer stuffed full of food, the cupboards bursting with expensive crockery, her beautiful, beautiful flowers, delivered weekly, not to mention the spacious beds where her youngest could sprawl with his feet dangling off the end . . .
‘And it’s not that I miss the things, the stuff, even the house.
Strangely, what I miss most is the freedom that being comfortable gave me.
I had choices because I could afford to have choices.
’ She stopped abruptly. ‘God, Jacob! You offer me a lift and here I am gabbling on. I am sorry. Ignore me.’
The car pulled ahead slowly in the traffic.
‘Don’t be sorry, not at all. I understand. And I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way, but if you ever need anything . . .’
‘Oh God! I hope you don’t think I was . . .’
‘No! No, I really don’t.’ He held up his hand. ‘But I just wanted to put that out there, that if you need help, you know where I am and it would be my pleasure to help you.’
Nina shifted to face him. ‘That is very kind of you.’
‘There is something I wanted to say to you too, actually . . . but I’m a bit out of practice.’ He gave a crooked, nervous smile and tapped the leather steering wheel with his thumbs.
‘Oh?’ She swallowed, feeling sick at the prospect that he might be about to ask her out. He rested his arms on the steering wheel and leaned forward, avoiding her gaze, and for this slightly removed stance she was grateful. ‘I wanted to ask you—’
‘You are a lovely man, Jacob,’ she interrupted him.
‘Thank you.’
She took a deep breath. ‘And I am flattered by your attention, but I have a lot going on and I am still finding my feet, really . . .’
Jacob let out a sigh. ‘Oh damn, well this is really awkward.’
‘No, no.’ She placed her hand on his arm. ‘Please don’t say that. It doesn’t have to be. You and I get on so well and we are going to see each other every time you visit Miss Molly. But the thing is . . .’
‘No, Nina.’ He held up his hand. ‘You misunderstand me.’
‘I do?’ She faltered.
‘When I say this is awkward, I don’t mean you stating the obvious. I mean I knew you had only recently lost your husband. And I don’t think of you as anything other than a friend. A good friend.’
‘Oh, okay then.’ She smiled, placing her hands in her lap, a little confused and more than a little embarrassed. ‘So what’s so awkward? What did you want to say to me?’
Jacob let out a deep breath. ‘I . . . I was going to ask you for Tiggy’s number. I’d like to ask her out.’
Nina let out a squawk of laughter. ‘Are you kidding me? Tiggy?’ She laughed.
Jacob chuckled, leaning forward on the steering wheel again. ‘Yes! I fancy your sister! I’ve been trying to pluck up the nerve to ask you since I met her in the car park. I thought she seemed brilliant, and I figured the nicer I was to you, the more you’d recommend me to her.’
‘Oh my God, I am so embarrassed.’ She covered her face with her palm while laughing.
‘Nina, don’t be.’
‘You fancy Tiggy!’ She spoke with relief.
‘I think she’s great. Feisty.’ He smiled at her like a schoolboy.
‘You’d be right.’ She laughed. ‘I would be happy to give you her number, once I’ve okayed it with her first of course.’
‘Of course.’ He smiled. ‘I’d treat her like a lady.’
‘Oh well, she would find that very disappointing.’
They both roared with laughter again.
Nina couldn’t wait to get in, and texted her sister rather than interrupt her at work. Tiggy called back almost immediately.
‘Are you winding me up?’
‘No, he asked me for your number, said he’d like to ask you out. He said he thought you were great!’ Nina squealed her excitement.
‘You’re sure he wants to go out with me?’
‘Yes, with you! God!’
‘But why? He only met me that once.’ Tiggy seemed genuinely perplexed.
‘And that was enough. He saw that you are gorgeous, and sexy, and funny, and kind, and sweet.’
‘Ah, thanks, Nina, but I already know that. Just a sec . . .’ Tiggy pulled the phone away from her mouth and bellowed, ‘Give me one second. I know you need beer, but I am on the phone to my sister! Sweet Jesus!’
‘And you have the lovely dulcet tones of an angel,’ Nina added, before they ended the call. She immediately sent Jacob her sister’s number and signed the text ‘Cupid’.
The next morning, Tiggy appeared at the flat bright and early, bouncing nervously. ‘So, I’m going out for dinner with him.’
Nina tried to make sense of her sister’s blank expression. ‘When?’
‘This Thursday. I’ve taken the night off work.’ She huffed. ‘Dean was miffed, it’s quiz night and it gets busy.’
‘Forgive me, Tig, but I can’t tell if you are happy or angry about the situation.’
‘Both.’
‘Would you like to talk about it over a cup of coffee? I’ve got an hour or so before I have to leave.’
‘I’d like that. It’s good to talk to you.’
‘For me too.’
Tiggy followed her in.
‘So, lovely Jacob wants to pick you up and whisk you off for a fancy meal. What’s not to like?’ Nina asked.
‘I don’t go out with people like Jacob Sutherland.
I go out with guys who are not like Jacob Sutherland.
I go out with guys who hang around the pub, who ask to borrow a fiver the day before payday and who might, if I’m lucky, split a kebab with me on the way home, but who never, ever take me out to dinner!
He seems stable and grown-up and normal. And that scares me.’
‘Oh now I get it. Yes, definitely do not go out with him. All that stability, grown-upness and normality can be most off-putting,’ Nina said.
‘You can joke, but I don’t think we are going to have anything in common,’ Tiggy responded.
‘Well, you won’t know until you spend time with him, and no one’s saying it has to be a regular thing. Go out with him once and see how you get on. What have you got to lose?’
‘Erm, my reputation! Imagine if one of the regulars at the pub saw me getting in and out of a fancy pickup. I’d never live it down.’
Nina handed her a cup of coffee. ‘Get him to drop you around the back if you are worried.’ She tutted. ‘Look, I just want you to have a nice time, a good evening, and I think you just might.’
‘What am I supposed to wear?’ Tiggy pulled at her denim jacket.
‘It pains to me say this, but you would look fantastic in anything. Don’t stress it. Jeans and a nice shirt, whatever you are comfortable in. It’s important you are relaxed and you are yourself, but not too much of yourself.’
Tiggy snorted.
‘I mean it, Tig, he already likes you for you. Just go and be you.’
‘Supposing it’s awful and we sit in silence with nothing to say?’
‘Then you go to the loo and text me – and I will give it ten minutes and give you the call, saying I need you here right away! And you can make your excuses and leave.’
‘Okay. That’s good to know.’
‘You could at least try to look a bit happier about the whole event,’ Nina said.
Tiggy grinned at her with a fake Cheshire cat smile. ‘Can I ask you something?’
‘Sure.’ Nina shrugged.
Tiggy’s expression was sincere. ‘If you had your time again with Finn, and this was your first date, what would you do differently?’
I wouldn’t jump so quickly. I would make him wait. I wouldn’t give up so much of me. I would slow everything right down. I would look beyond the gloss of money . . .
‘God, you mean what would I do differently on our first date or for our whole life? Because for our first date I would definitely wear flat shoes – my feet were killing me, as I recall.’ She tried to diffuse the very real question that her sister was asking.
‘I guess . . .’ She paused. ‘I guess I would be a lot more open about all the things that frightened me and not be afraid of exposing my faults – I’d try and trust him to love me in spite of those things,’ she went on.
‘And I guess if he couldn’t love me with all my faults then I’d have walked away in the opposite direction. ’
‘And how could he have not?’ Tiggy kissed her sister on the cheek.
Nina sighed. ‘But the truth is, I would probably do everything exactly as I did, because I would have been the same girl with the same mind and the same experiences and naivety. It was hard not to be impressed by what was on offer, and swept along.’
‘I get that.’