Chapter 30
The low light from the sizzling torches cast long shadows.
The music faded, and soon it was only his boots slapping the stone.
Without a fight, I let him carry me into a room.
My throat burned and the skin on my neck was sore.
I knew he hadn’t wanted to hurt me and I hated Belladonna even more for it.
He shut the door and locked it. A single candle burned on the lavish vanity with gold fixtures and a gilded mirror above it.
The room was large for a toilet chamber, and cold, like the rest of this godforsaken castle.
He set me on the counter beside the sink and took my face in his hands.
Tears rimmed his eyes. “Are you alright? I didn’t want to hurt you.
She made me do it. I tried to stop myself.
” His voice wavered and he pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.
“I know you didn’t want to hurt me.” I pushed him back and clenched my teeth so hard my jaw ached.
“But you’re with them. You told me you didn’t work with them.
You lied to me.” A tear rolled down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away.
My hand came away with smeared old blood.
I’d forgotten my face was splattered with it after I fought the vampires who’d captured me.
He jerked open one of the tall cupboards and pulled out a cloth and wet it under the tap. I sat in silence, watching the agony on his face as he gently wiped the dried blood and dirt from my skin. “Are you sure you’re alright? How badly did I hurt you?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. Your face is bruised, you have a fucking collar on, and you were taken by Dravyn. Belladonna almost made me choke you to death.” He sounded unhinged, panicked again.
I glared at him. I didn’t care if he felt sorry for what had happened to me. It was probably an act too. “I was there for all of it, Vander. I know. What I can’t get over is the deception, the truth of who you really are.”
He blinked back the threatening tears. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way,” he said softly. “But it’s not entirely what you think.”
I fisted my hands at my sides as fury set me aflame. “There aren’t enough sorrys in eternity for what you’re doing. I don’t care what half-truths or lies you want to tell me anymore. I won’t keep your secret. I’m telling Commander Locke.”
He pushed stray pieces of hair off my forehead. His touch was so tender it enraged me. He shouldn’t be kind to me. He was one of them and I was threatening him.
“I can’t believe I was such a fool. You’re looking for the daywalker spell?” I snarled. “I should kill you right now.”
“You’re not going to tell him. Will you let me explain?”
“No! And I am telling him. Unless he knows and is keeping your secret because he’s family. I’ll go to Commander Ace instead.”
“He doesn’t know and he thinks Oriana is dead. I’d like him to keep thinking that. It’s better if he thinks she’s gone than knows what she’s become. And I’m not going to get the spell for them. If you will be quiet long enough to let me—”
“Why should I believe you? I saw everything I needed to tonight. You like being a vampire, don’t you? All your talk about hating yourself wasn’t even true. You’re their prized assassin.”
He carefully wiped my throat around the metal collar, frowning at whatever he saw there. Bruising maybe. He’d squeezed hard enough to bruise. “I need to get this off of you.”
“You’re not going to say anything?” I snapped.
“What am I going to say, Aesira? You don’t want to believe me.
” He shook his head. “I’m not going to deny working for them.
I’m sorry you had to find out. I didn’t want you pulled into this.
This is why I didn’t want to feel the way I do about you.
This is why I fought it so hard and why I told you it was dangerous.
It’s even more dangerous than you thought. ”
“You don’t even feel remorse for being a traitor to LOA. You’re just upset you were caught. And what is it exactly that you feel about me? Hmm? I’m just your thrall, your source you’re possessive over.”
His face hardened. “You know that isn’t true. I’ve never taken your blood before tonight.”
“So what am I then? You know what? It doesn’t even matter. I will be telling Commander Locke. You’re done. You can live here where you belong. If we see each other outside the wall, well, we’re enemies. Do with that what you will.”
“Then maybe I shouldn’t let you go back. You know you can’t escape me.” He tilted his head in challenge. The vampire side of him flashed, even his fangs showed. “We can stay here. There are plenty of rooms. Eventually we could build a nice manor down in the valley.”
He’d truly lost his mind. “We? We! I would never stay here with you.”
With a soft laugh, he tossed the dirty cloth into the sink and leaned back against the door. “What happened to all the ‘you’re my heart’ talk? You knew I was a vampire when you gave this to me.” He pulled the protection knot from under his tunic and let it dangle in the open.
“That was before I knew you were a snake.”
“The name Viper wasn’t your first clue?”
With a scoff, I sneered at him and lunged for my carving. Kace was right, he didn’t deserve to wear it. He caught my wrist, then the other, and spun me around to pin me to the wall. “Take it off,” I spit. “You are not my heart. You’re a traitor.”
“My feelings for you haven’t changed even if yours have. I’ll be keeping it, my askair.”
“Don’t call me that. I am not your lover.” I fought against his grip. “I’ll give you your dagger back by shoving it into your black heart.” I jerked again to pull my hands free, but he pinned them even higher above my head.
“I guess I didn’t teach you how to get out of this situation. The worst thing you can do is get your hands caught.”
I rammed my knee up to hit him in the balls, but he shifted just in time for me to nail his thigh instead.
“Good one. You almost got me.” He shoved his thigh between my legs, and stepped on my toes, controlling me even more. “Now what?”
How many hours had we spent training just like this? Countless, and I still couldn’t get away from him. He had no weaknesses, none. I slowed my breathing and tried to think of something... I lifted my gaze to his full, slightly parted lips. Well, maybe he did.
I pushed forward and our lips met. Just like before, I wanted to melt into him.
Heat bloomed in my core. I moaned against my will.
He dropped my wrists and cupped my face, kissing me harder.
Damn it. Damn him. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, and his knee lifted me higher against the wall.
My head swam like I’d drunk too much wine.
How could a kiss make me feel I could float to the stars?
I couldn’t get enough of him. I wanted his lips all over me.
I wanted his touch in places I’d never experienced.
But I’d been fooled enough already. I threaded my scarred hand into the back of his hair, gripping it. Then I pulled his viper dagger and pressed the point of it to his neck. My heart thundered but my hand was steady.
He smiled against my lips and pulled back just enough to look into my eyes. His fangs were out, his eyes lit up. “Using all your weapons I see. Clever.”
I was breathing too fast. So was he.
It struck me like lightning: the two birds, the raven of death, the eagle of life, both tearing at me. I stood before that shadowed path now.
“Do it. Cut my throat and run. But remember, if you don’t get my heart, I’ll be right behind you, and you’d better hope I get to you before anyone else does.”
“If I don’t, are you going to keep me as your prisoner here? Lock me up in a cage? That’s the only way I’d stay.”
“If you’d stop being dramatic, we could leave and go home. I don’t like it here either.”
“Dramatic?” Oh, he was insufferable. I pushed the blade enough to indent his skin and a bead of blood welled up. “Why don’t you let me free so you can go kiss Belladonna again.”
His eyes darkened and his hands tightened on my waist. “You think I liked that? She did it to show how much power she has over me. Just like she forced me to grab you by the throat. You’re lucky her power doesn’t work on you.
” A tendril of guilt coiled around my heart.
I jerked his head back, exposing his throat even more. “Careful, I might like that.”
“Stop it,” I hissed. Did drinking my blood make him delirious? This was not the time to play with me. Unless this was how he truly was and he’d been hiding this side of him the entire time. I didn’t know what to think anymore.
He gripped my knife-wielding wrist, and we stared into each other’s eyes. “Can you drop the weapon on me?”
“No.”
He pursed his lips. “Fine. Keep it there if it makes you feel better.” He let go of my wrist and rested his hand on my hip. “You saw my sister.”
“Yes.” Liar! I wanted to shout but only arched an eyebrow. “And she wants to be a daywalker too.”
“Notice that she isn’t, Aesira.” He sharpened his tone finally. “I told you Dravyn killed everyone and took her?”
I nodded.
“Well, that was true, but I didn’t tell you that Oriana had been having a secret love affair with him.
I thought she’d been going out to meet her old flame from the academy, but I was sorely mistaken.
Dravyn didn’t take her against her will, she wanted to be with him.
They’d been seeing each other secretly for months.
When she snuck out that night with the other apprentices, she didn’t know he was going to find them and kill them all or take her that night, but she should have been ready for that. ”
“When did you find out she was alive? You said you found her bleeding out on the floor. Was that true or another lie?”