Chapter 19
FLEX
It was a bad idea to drive myself out here tonight. I could really use a drink right about now. I made fun of Celest for being concerned, but here I am, sitting outside in my car, my hands sweating.
There’s someone in a car down the street with the lights off. It’s the same one I saw last week. As I open my car door and stand, I stare them down. It could be nothing. You see all the same cars in the street all the time because they live here. I’m about to take a wander down the road to check it out, but Celest’s front door opens, and Gracie comes running out.
“Mr. Fex!” She teeters down the steps to meet me on the sidewalk, and I scoop her up into my arms.
“Hey, Gracie. I hear you’re making my dinner tonight.”
“No.” She giggles. “Mommy is making it, but I picked it.”
“I’m sure it’s going to be amazing.”
“Do you like gummy worms?” She smiles so bright it could light up a room.
“I love gummy worms, but can you keep a secret?”
Her eyes widen as she nods her head emphatically.
“Pinky promise?” I hold mine out, and she hooks her tiny pinky with mine .
“Yup.”
“When I eat gummy worms, I love to have scrambled eggs with them,” I whisper.
She turns to look at Celest, so happy, and it gets me right in the feels. She wriggles for me to put her down, then shoves her little hand into mine, pulling me toward the house.
Celest leans against the doorjamb, a cute-as-hell look on her face as Gracie and I walk up the front steps. She’s glowing.
“Hello, pet,” I say as I lean in and give her a peck on the cheek. “You look beautiful tonight.”
A blush spreads when my lips touch her silky, soft skin.
“Hi, Flex.” She smiles at the sight of Gracie tugging me inside.
“Your home is lovely.” It’s small and modest, but it has something mine doesn’t—life. Family. You could fit this place in my living room four times over, but it’s a hollow shell. There’s no one to welcome me home at the end of a rough day. Laughter doesn’t fill the air, and the aroma of a home-cooked meal is nonexistent.
“Gracie, go wash up for dinner.” She skips off down the hallway, and Celest doesn’t look happy.
“What’s wrong?”
“Sorry she’s jumping up on you and wanting to hold your hand.”
I cup Celest’s face in my hands. “No apologies. We agreed that you’re going to give this a chance. I’m a grown-ass man. If I had a problem with it, I’d let you know. You have a very sweet daughter. You should be proud.” Her shoulders sag in relief.
“Really?”
I press a kiss to her lips. “Really, so please relax and enjoy us getting to know each other better. Can you do that for me, pet?”
“I’ll…”
“Mommy, why is Mr. Fex calling you a pet? You’re a human bean.” This kid is so damn cute as she teeters toward Celest.
“I do that because I think she’s cute, like a puppy dog.”
“What can I be? What can I be?” I relinquish my hold on Celest and crouch down to Gracie’s eye level .
“Mm… I think you are like a fuzzy teddy bear. You give good hugs. What do you think, Gracie bear?”
She throws her arms around my neck and hugs me tight. “Like this?” She’s got me in a headlock, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Maybe a little softer. How old are you?”
“Free,” she says proudly, holding up three fingers.
“Wow, you’re strong for your age, Gracie bear.”
She turns to Celest, gazing up at her with adoration. “I’m Gracie bear!”
“I love it. Now, let’s show Flex to the dining table because dinner is ready.”
“Oh, I left the bottle of wine I brought in my car. I’ll be right back.”
“You didn’t have to bring anything.”
“I know, but my mom taught me good manners. Never go to a dinner party without a gift for the chef.”
“I don’t think this is classed as a party, and I’m definitely not a chef. What kind of wine pairs well with eggs and gummy worms?”
“That’s a universal dish, for sure. You could go with a vintage red or maybe some champagne.” I steal a quick kiss before heading out to my car. “I’ll be right back.”
I take the steps two at a time, only to see a guy circling my car. What the fuck? “Can I help you?”
The guy’s eyes go wide as saucers, “Just admiring your ride. Don’t often see cars like this around here.” I look him up and down for signs that he might be carrying a weapon.
“Do you live here?” My eyes flit to the car I saw earlier. The lights aren’t on, but now there’s no one in the car. “Is that your car?”
“Nah, just visiting an old friend. The car is a rental.”
I beep my car open and grab the bottle of wine I left. “Well, have a good night…”
“John.” He holds his hand out to shake. “And you are?”
“A stranger with a nice car. You might not want to loiter around other people’s cars. They might get the wrong impression.” It’s a thinly-veiled threat .
He puts up his hands. “No worries, my friend. Just thought you had a cool car.”
“Goodnight, John.” I wait until he walks away and take note of his license plate. If it’s a rental, it will be easy to find out. I make a mental note to check if he follows me when I leave tonight. One of two things is happening right now, and neither of them is good. Either he’s keeping tabs on Celest, in which case, I will be putting twenty-four-seven security on her and taking this guy out, or he’s following me, and I’m going to have to break his face.
When he gets in his car and drives off, I make a quick call to Luther. “Hey, man, can you run a plate for me?”
“Of course.” I give him the details and tell him I’ll call him later. Right now, I want to focus all my attention on Celest and her family. Tonight is a big deal for me, and I want to make a good impression.
“Thanks, Luther.”
With the bottle in hand, I head back inside, where Celest is putting the dinner plates on the table. She looks so domesticated. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but honestly, I’ve never seen a sub of mine in a setting like this.
“Can I help?” Her face brightens at my voice, and fireflies take flight in the pit of my stomach. I am falling so hard for Celest, and I didn’t see it coming. The thought that we could remain friends with benefits is laughable now.
“There are wine glasses in the second cabinet from the left, but you don’t need to do anything. You’re my guest.”
“Be ow-r guest, be ow-r guest, put a silver to the twest.” Gracie dances around the table singing her little heart out.
“I get a song and everything.” I smile.
Celest looks at me with a giggle. “It’s from Beauty and the Beast .”
“Which one am I?” I tease.
“Definitely the beast.” She winks at me, but it’s not a compliment, is it? I must have a confused expression because she immediately starts rambling. “It’s a good thing. Women always talk about the beast being their first bad-boy crush when we were kids. You haven’t seen it?”
“Why would I watch a chick flick? ”
“It’s a Disney movie. Did you grow up under a rock? Everyone knows Beauty and the Beast . The castle is under a spell. The dishes are alive. They sing the song.”
“You’re really cute,” I blurt out without conscious thought.
“Am I cute? Am I cute?” Gracie asks as she grabs hold of my pant leg.
“Yes. You are extremely cute. The cutest kid I’ve ever seen.” I’m not even lying. She’s adorable.
“You sit next to me, Mr. Fex.”
“I would be honored. You can just call me Flex. No Mister needed. We’re friends, right?”
“Yay! Mommy, Fex is my friend.” I don’t think a woman has ever been that excited to be my friend, probably because Gracie and I are on the same emotional maturity wavelength.
“It’s F-Lex, baby.”
“I saying that, Mommy. Fex! Fex! Fex!”
“I’m just going to legally change my name.” I’m rewarded with a breathtaking smile from Celest, and it makes my pulse race.
She wasn’t kidding when she said we would be eating the meal Gracie picked out. There, in the center of the table, is a bowl of gummy worms, a mound of scrambled eggs, and a dish full of sweet potatoes.
Celest takes a seat on my right. Leaning in, her lips brush against my ear, “I’ll order pizza when she goes to bed.” I close my eyes, letting the soft scent of her perfume intoxicate my senses.
“It’s lovely to see you again, Felix,” Celest’s mother interjects, pulling me out of my daydream.
“Likewise, Mrs. Monroe. I’m happy to be here.”
“She’ll get annoyed at me for saying it, but I haven’t seen such a vibrant smile on my daughter’s beautiful face in quite some time. I like you already.”
“Thank you, Nora. I appreciate you allowing me into your home. I hope you’ll be seeing a lot more of me.” I let my gaze wander to where Celest sits with an expression I can’t quite place. The face that isn’t straight-up happy gives me cause for concern .
“It’s not my home. Celest took me in. I just help out where I can.”
“She’s trying to make me sound more appealing and less pathetic. I live with my mom, and I’m a single mom. It is what it is.”
“You don’t give yourself any grace, darling. You’ve been through so much, and the strength you’ve shown every step of the way…”
“That’s enough. Let’s just eat.” Celest’s tone is clipped, almost rude, but I can see her putting up walls. What has she had to deal with in her life? I want to know these things—to understand all of her journey and what led her to Venom. To me.
This might be the most surreal dinner of my life. I spent plenty of years eating dry cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but this combination is?—
“So, I guess I need to watch Beauty and the Beast .” I direct my words to Gracie, who is mushing gummy worms into her sweet potato. “Do you want to watch it with me sometime?”
“Yes! Can we, Mommy? After dinner?”
“Not tonight, but maybe another night.”
Gracie scrunches her nose, her bottom lip quivering. “I promise we will do it another night. Pinky swear.” We make our pact, and she goes back to playing with her dinner.
Celest looks mortified as I fill my plate with scrambled eggs. I set it down and reach for her thigh, giving it a light squeeze of reassurance.
“I’m sorry.” She doesn’t meet my gaze.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Celest. Gracie and I are living our best lives right now.” I give Gracie a conspiratorial wink that makes her giggle.
“I should’ve just made something else.”
“You’re being a fun mom. I love it.” She flinches at my words, and I’m not going to lie, it hurts.
I turn my attention to Celest’s mother. “Do I get some dirt on Celest as a kid? I know you’ve got stories, Nora. Your daughter is way too feisty to have been a quiet child.”
Her eyes mist for a moment as she looks at Celest. “Yes, she was always getting into mischief. Any room she walked into, she took the spotlight.”
“I can imagine.” Fuck, I know exactly what it is to witness Celest drawing everyone’s eye.
“When she was Gracie’s age, she would sing all day long. She could recite the entire script of Beauty and the Beast and the lyrics to every song.”
“Now I definitely need to see this movie.” I look at Celest, but she’s pushing gummy worms around her plate.
“I got her Belle’s princess dress for Christmas that year, and she wore it everywhere we went. People would stop me in the supermarket to tell me how pretty she was and ask her if she was going to a fancy dress party.”
“And I told them no, and that I wore it every day,” Celest interjects. “Mom would always chastise me for it because she didn’t want strangers thinking that I didn’t wash or change my clothes.”
“She’s right. And, every night after she fell asleep, I would sneak in and steal the dress, wash and dry it, and then put it back where she left it.”
“That’s so sweet.”
“I’m very lucky.” Celest offers a tight smile to her mom, some unspoken conversation taking place before my eyes. “Most moms would’ve given up on me long ago.”
“Not true. You’re a wonderful person, Celest. I’m proud to call you my daughter.”
“I envy your relationship. You seem very close.”
“We are now.” Again, there’s an undercurrent of context I don’t understand. When Celest is ready, I hope she’ll confide in me.
“What about you, Felix? Are you close with your family?” The gnawing in the pit of my stomach returns as it always does when people ask me who loves me unconditionally in this world.
“I don’t have any family left. It’s just me.”
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Celest reaches for my hand, our fingers intertwined.
“How would you know? It’s not something I talk about with anyone. ”
Nora gives me condolences for a wound inflicted long ago. This is why I don’t tell people about my parents. It’s pouring salt into a cut that runs so deep it shredded my soul. I haven’t even told Dalton what happened to them. He’s the closest thing I have to family—and his mom. Losing her last year was devastating.
“Well, you have us, Felix.” As kind as she is, I don’t have it in me to get close to anyone else. It makes me question what I’m doing here. Am I inserting myself into another family?
“That’s incredibly sweet, Nora.” It’s all I can muster. I came here tonight because I want the chance to make a life with Celest, but all of my old insecurities come flooding back. Conversation dwindles as we finish dinner, and Gracie is half-asleep.
“Come on, sweet pea. Time for bed.” Celest lifts her into her arms.
“No, Mommy. I want to see Fex.”
“It’s okay, Gracie bear. I’ll see you another day. I have to get going anyway.”
“Oh.” Celest hugs her daughter tight, and I feel like I’m imposing.
“Thanks for dinner. I’ll call you.” Shit. What am I doing? I’m an asshole.
Nora takes Gracie from Celest’s arms. “I’ll let you two say goodbye. Or not. There’s no need to rush off. Stay. Talk.” She not so subtly scurries down the hallway.
“You don’t have to leave.”
“I shouldn’t have come. I don’t belong here.”
“I knew this was going to happen. You’re right. You don’t belong here in a dive house with a dive submissive. The bike that everyone likes to ride and discard when you’re done feeling charitable.” I’m not sure what she hears, but it isn’t what I meant at all.
“This isn’t about you.”
“Jesus, Flex, at least come up with a better line. Admit it. You decided you ‘love’ me because it suited your narrative. The reality isn’t as great, is it? A poky house in a shit neighborhood with a slutty single mom who served you a three-year-old’s version of dinner.”
“Celest, stop.” I’m doing this all wrong .
“Why?” she whispers, pushing me toward the front door. It’s for the best. I don’t want Gracie or her mom to hear any more of this. “Fuck ’em and chuck ’em, right? It’s worse that you tried to dangle the idea of a real relationship. I should have known better. You’re a player. Always have been, always will be.”
I step outside but grab her hand, pulling her out with me, the door closing behind us.
“As your Dominant, I’m telling you to stop.”
“Fuck you, Flex.”
I cinch her hands at the small of her back, my lips a whisker away from her, the scent of her perfume invading my senses. “I have to leave, pet. I have to. Don’t you understand?”
“Understand what? That you’re the same as all the rest of them?”
“That I love you. I fucking love you. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is for me? I haven’t let myself love a woman ever. I don’t want to love you because everything I love burns to the ground. I infect everyone who cares for me.”
“Is this about what my mom said? That you have us? What happened to your parents, Flex? You can talk to me. Please, talk to me. I don’t understand what’s going on.”
My heart aches as my lips crash down on hers, and she steals my breath away. “I’m sorry, pet. I can’t do this right now.”
“Is that it? We’re done?”
“No. I don’t know. I’ll end up hurting you. I will lose you, and I… I won’t survive it.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Flex. I’m right here.”
“And you flinch when I tell you I love you. Do you love me, Celest?”
“I…” Her hesitation tells me everything I need to know. How the fuck did I get myself into this mess?
“I need to leave.” I fish my keys out of my pocket and take the steps down to the sidewalk and my car. I hear Celest following behind me, but I can’t do this. I’ve broken my own rules. The ones that keep me from divulging the parts of me I don’t want anyone to know .
“Flex, please don’t go.”
“I have to, pet,” I say without looking back.
“Then I’m coming with you. Give me five minutes.”
“You don’t have to do that. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. Please, Master, promise me you won’t leave.” It’s the one thing she knows I can’t ignore. She asked as my submissive, and I’m helpless to refuse her.
“Fine.” I slip into the driver’s seat of my Porsche 911 and slam my hands into the steering wheel. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” I’m such a piece of shit. I wanted Celest no matter the cost, and seeing her tonight only serves to deepen those feelings, but I know it’s not fair to her. Or Gracie. Or Nora. People I love die.
I sit in silence, my heart hammering in my chest, my adrenaline pumping. If I were a better man, I’d start the car and put this street in my rearview mirror, but I’m the playboy Dom. The bad boy. Good for nothing but a good fuck.
The passenger door opens, and Celest sinks into the seat next to me, a rucksack in hand. “Let’s go.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m coming home with you for the night.” Hope blooms, but I’m quick to shut it down.
“No. You have Gracie. I’m not taking you away from her.”
“She’s already sound asleep. I sang her a song, and she was out like a light.”
“What’s with the bag?”
“I just told you. I’m coming to stay at your house tonight.” We’ve never actually slept in the same bed before. It’s pathetic, really. I fell in love with this woman, and yet I still keep her at arm’s length. I’m the same scared little boy I once was.
“No. I’m not taking you away from your daughter.”
“My mom is with her. She’ll be fine. I think we need to have an honest conversation, and it’s going to take more than a few minutes in your car.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Master. I’m sure.”
The engine roars to life, and the lights illuminate the cars parked in the street. We speed through the streets and across the Madison Avenue Bridge, the radio providing the only respite from the silence. I don’t even chance a glance in her direction.
By the time we pull into the underground garage of my building, the tension between us is palpable. “I’ll get your door.”
I kill the engine, get out, and walk around to the passenger side to open Celest’s door. She slips her hand into mine as I lead her to the elevator and up to the penthouse. She doesn’t speak, her grip tight as she leans into me.
When the elevator doors close, whisking us up to the top floor, Celest pulls my hand up to her lips, pressing an achingly soft kiss to my skin. It’s such a tender action. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“For letting me come with you.”
“I don’t deserve you, pet.”
“Don’t say that. Maybe this is our chance for something more.”
Before I can answer, she pushes up onto her tiptoes and captures my lips with hers. It’s not frantic like every other kiss we’ve shared. She has my heart in her hand, capable of protecting it or crushing the life out of me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m a truly selfish man. If I weren’t, I’d have refused to bring her here. Once I have her in my bed, in my arms, I won’t let her go. Right or wrong, it’s inevitable.