Chapter 27
HELENA
“I’m so sorry, Master Navarro. Please, you have to wake up. You have to.” I sit back on my knees, uncontrollable sobs escaping me as I take in the sight before me.
“How long has he been in a coma? How long was I out?”
Freya is by my side, wrapping her arm around me. “It’s been two weeks.”
Screaming fills the room, shrill, blood-curdling, and coming from me.
“No… no… Gracie. Master. I can’t do this without you. Please don’t die.” My shoulders shake as I cast my eyes to the floor. I’m not leaving this position until he comes back to me. I ran through this hospital, my body fighting me the entire time, but to walk into this is more than I can handle. There are only so many times in life that you can be knocked down and pick yourself back up. I have no more fight left.
I’ve failed Gracie, leaving her to grieve without her mommy for two weeks. I certainly failed Flex. If I had just trusted him enough to tell my full history, things might have been different. I don’t know where to go from here. I can’t go back to my old house after what I witnessed that night. I could never raise Gracie in that house. Home is where a child should feel safe. Instead, she saw her mom beat up by a man she’d never met before being bound and gagged.
Freya rests her hand on my shoulder as I cry out, begging God to bring him back to me. Flex looks gaunt. He must have lost at least ten pounds in the last two weeks. He has IVs in both arms, wires hooked up to pads on various areas of his body, and a breathing tube in his mouth. His beautiful smile is no more.
“I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t. I don’t want to. I can’t… I can’t.” I begin to shake uncontrollably, overwhelmed by loss all over again. Flex’s leg is bandaged where Michael shot him. There was just so much blood—more than I’ve ever seen.
I saw a lot of messed-up shit when I was with Michael, but I saw his face blown out by Flex’s bullet. One minute, he was there, holding me hostage, and the next, his life had ended in the time it takes to pull a trigger. Gone.
And then Flex?—
“I did everything I could,” I mumble repeatedly, rocking back and forth. “I couldn’t stop the blood. His heart stopped. I did what I could. So much blood. He said goodbye. Gracie. I did this to Gracie. To all of you. It was my fault. My fault.” My mind races with a barrage of thoughts and memories, and simultaneously, I feel trapped in this moment as if it could span an eternity.
“Pierce, what do I do?” Freya sounds worried.
“I’m going to page psych. I’ll be right back.” I hear the door close, but I don’t look up. I can’t risk getting another glimpse of Flex. My heart can’t take the pain.
“You have to stop this, Helena. Flex wouldn’t want…”
“Flex wants to live. He wants to breathe on his own. To walk on two legs. To be Gracie’s daddy. I took that from her. From him. He was her hero. He died a hero. My fault. Too much. He’ll never wake up.”
Freya braces her hands on my shoulders. “Snap out of it, Helena. He needs to hear your voice speaking with hope and positivity. You can’t sit here flagellating yourself.”
“Don’t let them take me, Freya. I need to be here. Don’t let Pierce have me carted away. I need to be here with Flex. I have to be. I let him walk into battle for me without any of the information that could have kept him safe. Who does that? A fuckup. Me.”
“He knew before he walked into the room that day.”
“What?” My eyes find hers. “How?”
“He had Jenna identify Michael, and she found that Celest Monroe didn’t exist four years ago. He knew , and he still came for you. Flex loves you more than life itself. You can’t give up on him now.”
“It hurts.” Tortured, strangled cries flow out of me in an unstoppable wave of emotion. “It hurts. It hurts. He died. His heart stopped beating. It hurts. Make it stop, Freya. Please, make it stop.”
The door opens, and Pierce comes striding in, only to find his wife and her friend on the floor.
“Pierce, you have to do something. She’s hysterical. I’ve been trying to snap her out of it, but it’s not working. She’s spiraling.”
Freya stands from my side and takes a seat before Pierce’s arms slip under me, scooping me up into his arms. “I’ve got you, little sub.” He sits next to Freya, setting me on his lap, and holding me tight to his chest. “It’s going to be okay. We’ve got you.” Freya reaches over and clasps my hand as I curl against her Dominant’s chest.
Pierce rubs slow, soft circles on my back, letting me cry my heart out. He doesn’t let go or force me to speak. When my tear ducts dry up, exhaustion takes over, pulling me back to the darkness, where I can find Flex, living, breathing, and holding me in his arms. It’s welcome when it comes.
Beeps and whirs of Flex’s machines wake me up, but I’m no longer in Pierce’s arms. He laid me next to Flex, the warmth of his body soothing me. I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep, but I make no move to open my eyes. If I do, I’m worried they will take me away. I know I’m overwhelmed and traumatized, but I need to feel Flex’s skin on mine, the rise and fall of his chest, even if it’s a machine doing it for him .
As I lay a hand over his heart, its beat is slow and steady. Strong. I need him to come back to me. I will gladly beg every moment of every day until he wakes up and gives me that smile. The one that calls out to my soul. Two halves made whole when we found each other.
“Has she been here all night?” I recognize the voice speaking to the nurse who takes Flex’s vitals every couple of hours. It’s my boss and Flex’s best friend, Dalton. He must hate me.
“Yes,” I answer.
“Oh, you’re awake. I don’t know if you’re aware that they gave you a sedative last night. You were in bad shape, so Pierce gave you something to help you rest.”
“What about Flex? Any news.”
“Pierce says they will be doing some tests today to check his brain activity. He’s still not off the vent, which is concerning at this point.” The desolation in his voice echoes my own.
“I’m so sorry, Dalton.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” His tone isn’t even the slightest bit accusatory. “We would have helped you.”
“I thought that part of my life was over. It had been four years with no sign of Michael. I changed my name the day I left him, and I swore never to tell anyone my true identity for fear that he would find me. Celest Monroe was born the day Helena Maxwell died.”
“What about your mom?”
“I waited three years before I reached out to her. I made sure there was no paper trail. It was selfish of me, but I wanted Gracie to have her Gan Gan. I should’ve left it as it was. She had no idea where I was or who I purported to be.”
“He’s gone now. You and Gracie can live a normal life.”
“Not without Flex.”
He takes a seat at his best friend’s bedside. “I want him back as much as you do. He got me through losing my mom. He’s my brother in all the ways that matter. DNA means nothing to Flex. That’s one of the many things I love about him. He has no family, but he finds his own in friends… and now with you and Gracie.”
“She called him Daddy the night Michael came for us. She made him promise to come back as soon as he got me out of there. One of the last things he said to me was to let Gracie know that he wanted to stay…” I choke out, “… and that he wanted to be her daddy.” I burst into tears.
“He deserves to have a family to call his own. I know how much he loves you and Gracie. He wanted her to have a mommy and daddy.” That’s when it hits me.
“Can you take me to his apartment? It’s a long shot, but I might be able to give him something he never allowed himself.”
I sit upright in the bed, wearing sweats and a hoodie. Freya must have changed me after I passed out.
“What?”
“It’s his story to tell when he’s ready, but I know how he lost his parents. I need to get to his place as soon as possible. Can you take me? Or you stay here, and I’ll go.”
“I’ll drive you. Naddie is on her way to sit with Flex. We’ve had someone with him twenty-four-seven.”
“How long can he stay like this before we lose hope?”
“That’s a question for Pierce, but right now, I’d say we keep hoping he’ll come back. Flex is a fighter. He’s survived worse odds when he was a Navy SEAL.”
“Did he ever tell you why he enlisted?” I’m trying to gauge how much Dalton knows. Flex told me no one else knows the circumstances of his parents’ death.
“No. He kept his motivation close to his chest. All I know is that he lost his parents when he was around thirteen. When I met him, my mom became his surrogate mother. She loved him as if she’d given birth to him. We were a happy family.” His gaze drifts to his best friend. It’s then that I notice the dark circles under Dalton’s eyes. He’s sleep deprived. His hair is a mess, and he’s in a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so casual. An odd observation I guess, but everything else feels wrong. I need something stable to hold onto. I’m floundering and I need Flex to wake up. He’s my anchor in any storm.
“Thank you, Dalton.”
“For what? ”
“For giving me a job when I needed it. I’d just left Michael. I was on the run, and everywhere I turned seemed like a dead end. I wasn’t the best candidate for the job, but you gave me a shot anyway. It gave me the chance to better myself and provide a life for Gracie.”
“And I stand by my decision. Everything you’ve achieved since then has been your own hard work and determination. I was about to announce your promotion when all this happened.”
My heart sinks. Another positive in my life taken away by my actions. “I understand. Things have changed.”
“You misunderstand me. You’re taking a few months off with paid leave to be with Flex through all of this. Then, when he’s back on his feet, you’ll be returning as VP in charge of acquisitions.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re my new VP of Acquisitions. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. So, don’t worry about anything right now. You look after Gracie, and we’ll all get Flex back and fighting fit.”
“What if he doesn’t wake up?”
“I’m not prepared to accept that as an outcome. He’ll wake up. He’s Flex-fucking-Navarro.” That makes me smile for the first time since I heard Michael’s voice that day in the lobby of The Callaghan Group.
“It’s a long shot, but I know something that might give him a reason to come back.”
“Then let’s go.”
When Naddie arrives with Ryder, I pull each of them into my arms, thanking them for everything they’re doing for their friend. I imagine most people from the club have been to see him. He’s an integral and beloved part of Venom.
“Hey, girl,” Ryder says as he pulls me into his arms. “How are you holding up?”
Tears fill my eyes. “I’ve been better. I’m going over to Flex’s to grab some of his stuff and bring it in.”
“I can come with you if you want company.”
“Thank you.” I squeeze him as tight as I can manage right now, which isn’t much, but I appreciate him. Ryder is a great guy, but I know very little about him. I didn’t even realize he owned Dulip until Flex told me. “Dalton is going to go with me. I’m sure Flex would like to hear you talk for a while. All I do is cry.”
“He’ll be okay.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head, letting me breathe for just a moment. The Doms in this room are a testament to what Flex means to each and every one of us. They have loved and cared for me and Gracie through all of this, knowing that Flex would want them to comfort me in ways only a Dom can. It’s nothing sexual. It is a feeling. A warmth and safety they know I need as a submissive. Not only them but their partners. Freya held my hand while Pierce cradled me in his arms. That is genuine love with no hidden agenda. I feel blessed to know these people and call them friends.
“We’ll be back in an hour or so.” Dalton holds the door open for me, and I follow him out, pausing just long enough to catch a last glimpse of Flex. I’m praying I can find what I’m looking for. I’m afraid on the journey over, scared to feel what has become our home without him in it. I’m terrified I won’t be able to find what I need. And I’m petrified that he won’t come back to me.
The ride to his penthouse is quiet, Dalton and I lost in our thoughts and hoping like hell that Flex will pull through.
Dalton unlocks the front door. Michael tossed my purse when he kidnapped Gracie and me. Gracie.
“Where’s my daughter?” I ask, my voice timid, guilt constricting my throat. She needs me, and I haven’t been here.
“At your mom’s. Luther has been there the entire time, making sure they’re safe. She’s doing well. Carter brought his kids over to keep Gracie company, watching movies, playing games, and probably eating way more candy than you want to know about.”
“That is so kind of him.”
“You’ve got family, Celest. Helena. It’s going to take a while to get used to that. Sorry. ”
“I know. My mom is amazing. Gracie is my heart, and Flex… he’s my soulmate.”
“Yes, but it extends beyond that. We’re your family. When you hitched your wagon to Flex, you get the whole package. Me, Naddie, Pierce, Freya, Ryder, Matteo, Eli, Genevieve. We’ve all been splitting our time between your room and Flex’s at the hospital. We’re a big, dysfunctional, kink family, and it’s pretty amazing. You and Gracie are part of the family now, so get used to it. We will always have your back. Now, what are we looking for?”
“An answering machine.” He looks at me like I just told him I need the blood of a virgin for sacrifice.
“Are you kidding?”
“No. I told you, it’s his story to tell, and I don’t want to betray his confidence. Just trust me. Where would Flex keep his most prized possessions.”
“Hidden safe in his closet.”
“Do you happen to know the combination?”
“Yeah. We know each other’s major information in case of an emergency. I always thought it was overkill, but I guess he’ll have the last laugh when he hears about this.”
“If it means he’s awake and talking to us, I’ll gladly listen to his ‘I told you so’ for the rest of our very long lives.”
“True. Okay, let’s go and check the safe.”
I’m nervous as I walk through the apartment. It’s a sinking dread—a cold glass of water shocking my soul. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what else to do. I have to help him. I can’t be this pathetically useless, not after what he did for Gracie and me.
The bed is just as we left it, his bedside table undisturbed. I told him to use a bookmark, but he just left his current read open and turned it face down on his side of the bed. When we reach the closet, I grab an overnight bag and stuff some of his clothes in it and a few essentials for me too.
Dalton slides a panel in one section of the closet, behind Flex’s suits, and there, hidden, is a safe. Dalton quickly punches in the code and opens the heavy metal door, and I’m not prepared for the sight before me .
There’s a Harry Winston ring box sitting at the front of the top shelf. I ignore it and the fact that Dalton is staring right at it with his jaw just about hitting the floor. “Any idea why that’s in there?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you see an old answering machine circa the late 90s?”
I never thought to ask if Flex had a safe or about codes for anything in the penthouse. I got handed a key for the front door and the elevator code when we moved in. That’s the extent of my involvement in this place to date. When Flex comes home— if he comes home.
“Could this be it?” Dalton pulls out a time capsule of the worst day of Flex’s life. I can’t believe he’s never listened to the messages left on the machine. As far as I know, his grandma listened to it and kept the machine for him in the hopes that one day, he would endure the final words his parents left him with.
“Yeah. Let’s go.” I take it from him and put it safely in the overnight bag.”
“Why don’t you have a soak in the tub or a hot shower? Get some fresh clothes on. I’ll wait in the living room.”
“I want to get back to Flex as soon as possible.” He stops me in my tracks.
“Flex will be mad at all of us if you don’t take good care of yourself. Freshen up, let me take you to see Gracie for a little bit, and then I promise I will take you back to the hospital. Your mom said Gracie is really missing both of you.”
Sadness washes over me. My baby girl has been dealing with so much. “She must hate me. I’m a terrible mother. She went through something awful and hasn’t had me or Flex to comfort her.”
“She’s missing you, but honestly, it’s good that she hasn’t seen you.”
“Why?”
“You seem quick to forget your own injuries. Michael’s attack on you was brutal, and you didn’t even look like yourself the day it happened. That would’ve devastated Gracie to see you like that. Your physical wounds are healing. I know the internal ones will take years, but you, Gracie, and Flex will get through it together. ”
“Do you really believe he’s going to pull through? Your honest opinion. I don’t want you bullshitting me because you think I can’t handle it.”
He scrubs his hand over the stubble on his jaw. “I need to believe it, not for you but me. He’s gotten me through the hardest moments of my life. I have to hold onto hope that he’s going to make it. The alternative is unthinkable. I can’t and won’t accept that.”
“Okay. Let me take a quick shower, then we can go see Gracie for a little while.”
“Deal.” As he turns to leave, I reach for his arm.
“Dalton.”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For everything.” I throw my arms around his neck, giving him a quick hug before turning on my heel and heading for the bathroom as he returns to the living room.
“Mommy, Mommy!” The moment I step foot in my mom’s apartment, Gracie comes running at me. I pick her up without thinking, my ribs screaming from the impact of my little warrior.
“I missed you so much, sweet pea.” I drop to my knees, hugging her tighter than ever before.
“I missed you, Mommy. I so happy to see you.”
My mom comes into view, tears streaming down her face as she falls to her knees beside me. “Oh, darling. You’re okay. We’re okay.”
I catch Dalton wiping an errant tear from the corner of his eye. “You saw nothing. If you tell Flex, I’ll deny it.” I laugh. For the first time in weeks, I laugh.
Turning my attention back to Gracie, I check her over, kissing her cheeks so much she tries to push me off. “How are you, sweet pea?”
“I good. Where is Daddy?” It’s the first time I’ve heard her call Flex her daddy, and I can’t help the sob that escapes me. I pull her back into me, squeezing her tight .
“He’s still at the hospital, Gracie.”
“When is he coming home?”
“I’m not sure.” I don’t want to give her false hope.
“He’s going to come. We did a pinky promise.” Of course, he took the time to alleviate her fears before walking into the line of danger to save me. He always has her well-being at the forefront of his mind, even in the darkest of moments.”
“Then he is for sure coming home soon. He always keeps his promises.”
“Yay!”
“Let’s go sit down for a minute. I want to talk to Gan Gan.”
Dalton hangs back, giving me the space I need to explain everything to my mom. She must have been worried sick. I heard her at my bedside more than a few times, but it takes a village, and I know my friends from Venom really stepped up when we needed them. They all seem to know Gracie now and are completely smitten with her. Flex was right when he said I birthed the cutest human on the planet.
“I’m going to go and give you guys some space,” Dalton interjects.
“No, I’m coming.”
“Mommy, can you read my bedtime story? I miss your funny voices.”
“Listen to your daughter. Text me after bedtime, and I’ll come pick you up. Rest easy, knowing I’ll be sitting by our boy’s bed in the meantime.”
“Thank you, Dalton.”
“Are all the men you know a crazy level of handsome with good manners?” Dalton and I exchange an amused glance at my mom’s observation. If only she knew how strict these men really are. It’s all about good manners at Venom.
“Yes, Mom. It seems statistically impossible, but all of Flex’s friends are handsome as heck.”
“Any older men looking for a date?” my mom asks while Dalton is mid-sip of a bottle of water, which he sprays across the room .
Gracie thinks it’s hilarious and descends into a fit of giggles, taking the rest of us with her.
When Dalton leaves, I slip right back into mommy mode. Bathtime is fun, and Gracie splashes half of the tub on me by the time I’ve finished washing her hair. I braid it, find her favorite book, and tuck her in tight before I start reading.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes, Mommy.”
“Then, we’ll begin.” I don’t know why, but I always ask. It’s a ritual before starting a beautiful fairy tale.
“Mommy, does Fex not want to come home?”
“Why would you ask that? You made a pinky promise.”
A tear rolls down her face. “I worried because I called him Daddy, and then he was gone.”
My heart grinds to a halt before dropping into the pit of my stomach. She’s been worrying herself this whole time, and I wasn’t here to reassure her.
“Do you know what Flex told me the last time I saw him? Before he got sick.”
“What?”
“That I needed to give you a special message.” Her little face lights up.
“What’s the memmage?”
“He said, ‘tell Gracie I want to stay, and I want to be her daddy.’ That’s exactly how he said it.”
“He did?”
“Yes, sweet pea. Flex is going to be your daddy. He already is. He’s just very sick right now, which is why Mommy has been spending so much time at the hospital.”
“Can I come see him?”
“Not tonight, but soon, okay? I will take you to see him soon, sweet pea.”
“Okay. I have a daddy.” Her smile is so bright it could light the night sky, and I want so badly for Flex to wake up and come home to us.
“Now, are you ready this time?”
“Yes, Mommy.”
“Then, we’ll begin. Once upon a time…”