Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
HARPER
“G ood morning.” I continue to where Forrest is standing, dressed and ready to leave.
There is something about a man in a suit and tie. Especially when the suit is tailored to fit him perfectly. Hugs his body at the waist just like it should, which accentuates the broad shoulders, and if I’m lucky and get to see him without the jacket on, the bulging biceps in a business shirt and the tight ass in the perfectly fitted pants is worth waiting for. Drool worthy.
“Good morning, how did you sleep?” he asks as he pushes my coffee toward me, along with a plate with a piece of toast with avocado, chopped tomatoes, and a slice of smoked salmon on the side.
“Not sure I can ever look at an avocado the same way again.” We both laugh as I take a seat at the counter and take a sip of my coffee. “Slept great. Thanks for making my bed for me, or do you have a housekeeper that comes in? I forgot to ask.” I take the first bite of my breakfast, and while I’m chewing away, he just watches me and drinks his coffee.
“I usually have a housekeeper, but I gave him a paid holiday while you are here. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” He moves from where he was leaning on the cupboard and pulls the door of the dishwasher open to put his empty cup in.
“You have a male housekeeper?” It slips out before I realize how bad that must have sounded.
“Yes, what’s wrong with that? Graham is great. I’ve had him for five years. He used to work at one of the hotels but got old enough that he needed to slow down. So, I offered him the job here, and it’s perfect for him. Nothing too hard, a few hours a day, and I pay him well. I trust him and don’t have to worry.” Forrest is trying to explain his decision.
“Oh, nothing wrong at all. I think it’s great and love when I see people breaking the molds in jobs. Look at Felisha, the number of times people said she couldn’t do this, and now she is proving to every one of those old farts, who were ready to tear her down, how wrong they are.”
“Before I knew her properly, I still knew she would be a kickass CEO. She was born to do it. Regardless of her awful upbringing by her asshole father. Just goes to show that you can push through trauma that has come from parents. I mean, look at you, tackling this head-on, even though it is bringing up some past hurt, I’m sure.” Forrest is talking while he wipes down the kitchen countertops, not even looking at me.
If only he knew what I mess I am on the inside. I totally have daddy issues, compounded with the fear of letting anyone get close to me, and let’s not forget the problem I have with anyone trying to hug me. I’m so fucked up it’s not even funny, but I have managed to hide that for years, until this brought it all back up again.
“Yeah, but I’m not letting it get to me. It’s all in the past, and as soon as we deal with this guy, I won’t even think twice about it again,” I say, trying to bluff my way through it, and take the last mouthful of my breakfast so I don’t have to talk anymore.
I stand to clear my plate, but Forrest is right beside me. “I’ll take that. You grab your things, and we can get going down to the cars. Another busy day I’m sure for both of us.”
Thanking him, I brush my teeth, and we are out the door. It’s not until I’m halfway to work driving in my car that I realize neither of us said one thing about the other night, and it’s like it never happened.
Maybe it’s for the best. Just pretend that I didn’t get fucked within an inch of my life.
Yeah, like I’ll ever forget that.
FORREST
“The castle hotel in Scotland is the last one we need to talk about. The profits are continuing to rise, and if my projections stay on track, we will be ready to do the addition by spring of next year, for the dedicated function center on the grounds. It will expand the ability to hold bigger functions.” I look across the table at Nic who is scanning the reports for this one, and I can see he is happy. He purchased this hotel so he could buy his wife a castle. Over the top, but it has brought them both joy, and luckily, it has also been a valuable addition to the portfolio.
“Perfect. Flynn, can you start the process, please?” Nic looks to my brother who is his right-hand man and our logistics person. I look after the money, Rem is our IT/tech person, as well as head of security, just keeping us all safe in all the ways. But to be honest, Flynn has a big workload across a broad range of jobs. And Nic, of course, is the decisions man. That privilege comes with being the boss.
“On it.” He notes it down on his laptop and then looks up at us all. “Are we done?” We all nod, which means the meeting is over and we can get out of the office for the day.
“Who’s up for a quick drink before heading home?” Nic asks as he stands and collects his things off the table.
Looking down at my phone, I haven’t had any messages from Harper yet, so she must still be working.
“Do you know what the girls are up to?” I ask Flynn, wondering if he has heard from Felisha.
“I spoke to Felisha quickly before I walked in here, and she didn’t answer but just sent me a message saying it’s a busy day and she will probably be late for dinner,” he replies, and that’s good enough for me.
“Okay, I’m in for that drink.” I could use some time with the guys to try to get my head sorted. When I’m at work I block it out, and when I’m around Harper, I feel like I can’t think straight, so an hour with the guys sounds perfect.
While we were talking, Rem has been messaging on his phone, I assume to Elouise, and the smile tells me he is all sorted.
“I’m in too, all under control on the home front.” Which I’m sure isn’t always the case with two kids.
“Excellent, let’s just head down to the pub across the road.” Nic nods as we are busy collecting our things, and everyone heads back to their offices to leave them there while we go for a drink.
I lock my office, and as I walk toward the elevator where the guys are all standing, my phone vibrates in my pocket, and I check it as I stop just a couple of feet from them.
Harper: Don’t wait for me, I’ll be late again tonight. Sorry.
Forrest: Thanks for letting me know. Just heading out for a drink with the guys. I’ll keep your dinner warm.
Harper: Don’t cook for me, I’ll just grab something easy when I get in.
Forrest: You will not be having a protein shake! I threw your tub of powder away. I WILL COOK YOU REAL FOOD!
Harper: You are fucking infuriating, you know that?
Forrest: This is not new information.
Harper: My clothes will stop fitting shortly if I keep eating like this.
Forrest: I’ll buy you new ones. Naked in the apartment works too.
Harper: Don’t! We aren’t doing this.
I smile to myself as I type out my reply.
Forrest: So you said.
As I press send, Flynn starts talking. “Holy shit, Forrest is smiling. Who the fuck are you texting?”
Pocketing my phone, I look up at him and the others to see them all staring at me intently. “What?” I growl.
“Nope, crisis averted, the grumpy guy is back.” Rem starts laughing, but Flynn is not about to let this go.
“You didn’t answer the question, who put that unusual look on your face? Could it possibly be your house guest?” He is smirking as the doors to the elevator open and we all start filing in.
“I’ve got a feeling we might need a beer for this conversation, so hold that thought, Forrest.” Nic starts laughing, and that’s one thing with him. When he has spoken, we all listen.
“Just a beer? This could call for something stronger to get any information out of the vault over here.” Rem knows what it’s like to try to keep something private. When he and Elouise got together, they kept it a secret from us all because Flynn had been casually flirting with her for a while. We all knew she wasn’t right for him, including Elouise, who had straight out told Flynn that. But he wouldn’t listen, and when it finally blew up, deep down, he knew she wasn’t right for him either. And now it’s turned out the way it should have, him being with Felisha who is perfect for him.
I roll my eyes at them, trying to work out how much I want to share with them, or to share anything at all.
Finally, I’m taking the first sip of my beer down at The Guards Arms pub which we frequent quite often when we are just having a quick drink after work—especially if we don’t want to run into any of our business associates. Not many frequent this pub because it doesn’t give them the contacts they are after. Whereas when we go out, we don’t want to talk work. Which is why this next hour could be the longest in my life, because I have a feeling the focus is going to be on Harper’s situation, and of course, that leads to me.
“Okay, I’ve waited long enough. What’s going on with you and Harper?” Flynn flicks a cardboard coaster at me, like we used to do when we were younger.
“She’s living in my apartment,” I say, keeping my tone neutral.
“No shit. But what has happened between you two since she moved in with you?” Flynn keeps pushing.
“We are getting along, she has learnt that protein shakes are not a meal and that I’m as stubborn as she is.” I answer very matter-of-factly but not really giving them anything they don’t already know.
“Keeping his cards close, can’t say I blame him.” Nic laughs. “There is no way I’d be sharing anything with your brother. He is the gossip of the group.”
“Asshole, that’s not true. Your wife takes that crown.” And Flynn’s words just make Nic laugh even louder.
“True, I can’t even argue with that.” Nic slaps Flynn on the shoulder.
“That’s the problem with this little group now that you all have significant others. Nothing ever stays in this circle, because as soon as one of the girls gets a sniff that you are hiding something, they push each one of you or bribe you, and how that happens I don’t even want to know. But then once it’s in the girls’ circle then everyone knows. So, you all suck, you know that?” I look around our table at the best friends a man could have, but I still feel a little on the outside.
“So, you are hiding something!” Flynn pipes up.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Flynn, let it rest, will you.” Needing to change the subject, I know the perfect thing to deflect him. “By the way, I told Mum that you were fine for dinner this Saturday night. I told her I would arrange for a car to pick them up and bring them to my apartment. You’re cooking, so send me a list of ingredients,” I say, smiling smugly like I have managed to curve around that conversation.
“Ughhh. I’m sure Felisha and I have a thing on then. Sorry, buddy, I have to cancel.”
“Funny that she replied to me this morning saying that she would bring the wine to match your menu. So, you can stop madly texting your fiancée now.”
“You are just as bad as when we were kids, always one step ahead of me. Fine… can’t wait.” He waves his index finger in a circle in the air.
“Oh, I can tell,” I say, holding my beer in the air toward him. “You’re welcome.”
Nic and Rem laugh because it’s always like this between us.
Our conversation then drifts over to the draw for this week’s Premier League games. But the whole time we are talking, my mind is on Harper. It’s like the moment I tell my brain it can switch off from work, it creates space for her.
I wasn’t really listening until Flynn’s voice boomed next to me and had my head snapping up to look at him.
“Oh my God, you’ve slept with her already, haven’t you?”
“What?” I reply, shocked from my daydreaming.
“Sucker, you owe me that hundred pounds. I told you he wouldn’t last a week.” Rem slaps his hand on the table, pointing with his other hand at Flynn, and I glare at them.
“What the hell, you all bet on Harper and me sleeping together? How fucking old are you? Seriously, that’s just pathetic. Or was it just you two?” Feeling the aggravation building, I turn to look at Nic.
He shrugs sheepishly. “Sorry, buddy, but I had you at four weeks. I thought we had warned you enough to stay away from her that you would’ve lasted longer.”
“You’re all fucked, you know that, right?” I snap, putting my glass down on the table.
“Yes, but are you fucked?” Flynn is already laughing at his answer before he finishes talking.
“I hate you.” I glare at him, and we both know I don’t mean it.
“Fellas, and there we have it. That nonanswer is the answer we are all looking for.”
I decide I’m not sharing what is going on between me and Harper because I’m not entirely sure where we are heading.
“Moving on, I’m not talking about this.” And just as Flynn is about to continue with his barrage of annoyance, Rem looks down at his ringing phone and then holds his finger up as he answers it.
“Ashton,” Rem says into his phone.
One word and I push my beer away, attentive and looking at him to try to work out his body language which will tell me what sort of call this is.
“Damn it,” Rem replies to him, not looking happy.
All the joking at the table is gone, and we sit up, ready to run if we need to. Which sounds ridiculous, because in reality, I know she is safe, but it’s just the feeling running through me right now.
“Yeah, keeping it between us is best for the moment. Appreciate it. Will check in with you tomorrow. Bye.” Rem pulls the phone from his ear and doesn’t even stop to take a breath, turning straight to me and repeating the intel.
“Harper is fine, but there has been a further development overnight in the States. Chester has started searching on how to enter the UK with a criminal record.”
“Fuck,” I hiss, anger running rampant through me.
“We know he doesn’t have the funds for a private jet, but he’s thinking outside the box, and we all know that’s dangerous. They still have eyes on him, so there is no immediate threat, but he is getting more focused on how to get to her, and none of us are happy about that.” Rem looks at me, waiting for me to speak.
“Don’t tell her,” I demand.
“I agree, Sandon knows and understands that this stays with us.” Nic and Flynn both nod at him, and I glare daggers between the three of them.
“Not a word to your partners. Not a single damn word.” I can tell by the look in their eyes that they know I’m serious.
“We understand.” Rem places his hand on my arm, trying to calm me.
“No!” I grunt. “You don’t. I don’t want her to feel more frightened than she already does. She is so much more vulnerable than you all think. I need to protect her from this,” I shout, waving my hand in the air. “All of it.”
I take a breath, and for the first time ever, I show vulnerability. “I get it now. What happened to you all. I get it.” I hang my head, and Flynn starts patting me on the back.
“It’s okay, Forrest, it happens to the best of us, and all I’ll say is buckle yourself in, Brother. Things are about to get rocky, and I don’t mean with this fucked-up stalker business.”
“Can’t wait,” I grumble because I know he is right.
I know she’s mine, but I’m not sure she is ready to accept that yet. And she’s certainly not even close to wanting me to be hers for more than a night.
“Rem.” Flynn pulls out his wallet and throws two fifty-pound notes on the table. “He doesn’t need to answer any more, and I think we can see it’s so much more than that, so let’s leave that conversation alone now.” His eyes tell me that he has my back, and I didn’t realize how much I needed to know that until right now.
“Right, so what’s the plan to make sure we keep Harper safe? Because this man won’t survive if something happens to her, and we won’t survive him.” Flynn’s small smile is his way of trying to lighten the load, letting me know we are all in this together, while still being the annoying little brother he will always be.
The next ten minutes we discuss about how Rem suggests we handle this and set up a time to meet with Ashton before he leaves tomorrow to fly home. But by the time I get into my car and drive home, I know that I have my own plans, and I’m keeping them to myself until such a time I might need them.
I message Harper to let her know I’m home, and she replies, letting me know she’ll probably be another hour, which is what I need.
Stripping out of my suit and throwing on my gym gear, I run on the treadmill like I am chasing away all my anger that is bottled up inside. But it’s not just that. My mind is all over the place, thinking about Harper and my feelings for her. I knew I wanted to settle down and find the woman who would make me whole. But now that I think I’ve found her, I don’t know what to do with that.
Especially when she doesn’t feel the same.
Sweat dripping off me, I decide I’ll head to the shower in my room. Throwing my dirty shirt over my shoulder that I had taken off earlier, I’m walking through the apartment as the front door opens, and Harper steps through it.
We both stop and just look at each other for a moment.
I can tell she is checking out my naked abs, and I’m worried that she is about to see what that look does to me.
To stop myself from picking her up, throwing her over my shoulder, and carrying her to my room, my brain jumps to scolding her. “You didn’t message me that you were on your way home. You’re supposed to message me.” And straight away, I can tell my gruff words don’t hit well.
“Wow, hello to you too, Mr. Grumpy. And fuck off, it’s not like I was on my own. That’s a luxury I’m not allowed anymore.” She turns and heads for her bedroom.
Yep, that went well.
“No need to be so snappy,” I mumble under my breath as I follow her down the hallway to my bedroom to get in the shower.
“Another rule for your list. Forrest must wear a shirt!” she snaps, slamming the door behind her, and I can’t help but smirk as I pass her room.
“You’re welcome!” I yell after her and then close my door, and as soon as I strip off my clothes and step under the hot shower, I take my dick in my hand and try to relieve the pain in it, courtesy of the feisty woman in the next room.
HARPER
“You’re welcome,” he yells through my door.
What a prick! I’m not a child. I don’t report to him.
Sure, he is doing me a favor, but he doesn’t get to take over my life.
Plus, why is he walking around his apartment looking like sex on a stick? That’s just cruel.
I think I need a shower now to cool off.
I get dressed in my thick cotton pants and a long-sleeve cotton top; it’s the time of year where I just want to feel cozy as the wind outside starts to get that slight chill to it. October is the start of when we forget what summer was and get ready for the bleakness of winter. By the time I have showered and dressed, my temper has subsided, and I know I need to go out and apologize to Forrest. I can’t tell him what to do in his own home. I’m here as a guest, and as much as I hate it, I need to be polite to him.
The smell of food as I walk toward the kitchen reminds me of the text messages he sent earlier that I had forgotten about.
“I told you not to cook for me,” I say, seeing him dishing up two plates of pasta.
“And I ignored you,” he replies, not even flinching.
“That’s kinda rude.” I sit down on the stool because I don’t want to sit at the table tonight. I’m not in the mood for formal; casual is all I can take.
“So is ignoring my part of the text where I mentioned that being naked in the apartment works for me.” He pushes the plate toward me with a fork and a spoon.
“You’re hilarious.” I pick up the pepper grinder and crack it over the top of what looks like fettuccini carbonara.
“I’ve known that for years, but everyone thinks that Flynn is the clown of the family.” Walking around the counter, he takes the stool next to me, and I realize I didn’t think this through very well. Sitting at the counter, he is way closer than he would’ve been at the table.
“No arguments that Flynn is a clown,” I say, taking the first bite, and the rich creamy sauce is outstanding. “But I think you might give him a run in the cooking department. This is so good.” And without realizing it, he has defused our argument from before, and it’s like we are back in our bubble of the two of us chatting and joking together.
He shrugs. “Thank you, but there is no way I could cook for more than two people at once. To be honest, I think you might be the only one I have ever cooked for.”
“What do you mean, surely that’s not possible.” My shocked voice makes him stop eating to explain.
“When you have a brother and best friend who were both chefs in their earlier career, there isn’t much need for me to cook. And before they moved back here from Australia, I didn’t really have the need to cook for anyone. Every time I go home, Mum wants to cook, and when I catch up with friends in the finance world, it’s at a restaurant or a bar. Mainly because the meal is more about talking work or trying to schmooze someone to get them as a client. It just wasn’t my style. And when you have money, it’s easier to order food if you are entertaining someone at home…” His voice trails off as he tries to describe when he brings a woman home to his apartment.
“You mean when you bring a woman home to spend the night,” I offer, trying to help him out.
“Something like that.” He takes another forkful of pasta to try to cover up his awkwardness.
“But you cook for yourself, so why don’t you just order food in for that too? Or hire a chef?” I ask the obvious.
“Because I like to cook and…” He looks down again at his plate.
“And what, finish that sentence,” I say, poking him in the arm with my finger.
“And then I know what is in the meal, and I can control what I eat and the quality.” As I look at him, there is the faintest blush on his cheek that I’ve never seen before.
“Why does that embarrass you?” Softly, I put my hand on his arm now.
“It doesn’t, it’s just I’ve never shared that part of my life before. I exist in here, in my world, and don’t have to share that with anyone. It’s probably why I’ve been single for so long. I don’t know that anyone would cope with my OCD and control issues on certain things.” Yet here he is voicing it all to me.
“Then why are you looking for someone to share your life with? Are you searching for anyone who will put up with your pain-in-the-ass personality?” I question him.
“Not just anyone, someone special—annoying, but special,” he mumbles as he pushes his stool back and stands, grabbing his plate as I hadn’t realized he had already finished his pasta.
As I continue eating my dinner, the same thought keeps running around my head until it gets to be too much, and I stop him as he is walking from the kitchen toward his office.
“Forrest.” He turns to look back at me from the door. “Why do you cook for me then?” I gulp at the heated stare he gives me.
“Because you are someone special, Harper. Good night.” He closes the door behind him as he retreats into his office, and I am left standing here, trying to ignore the blissful feeling that ran through my body at his words.
“Shit. I can’t be your someone special,” I whisper.
* * *
Sitting at the desk that Forrest had set up for me, I’m trying to distract my thoughts with work. It works for him when he wants to avoid this whole us thing. So why isn’t it working that way for me too?
I decide to call the one person who won’t judge me. I mean, she will be pissed at me but would never judge me.
“Hi, hun.” Just hearing Felisha’s voice is enough to make me want to burst into tears.
“Can we talk, just us?” I ask, knowing that Flynn won’t be far away if she is at home.
“Got to take this in the office,” I hear her mutter and the noise of her moving.
“I’m sorry I’m interrupting your night or whatever you two were up to.” We work so hard that we value our private time that much more.
“I don’t give a shit what we were about to do. You call, I answer, you know that. So, what’s wrong, I can hear it in your voice.” I hear the sound of the door in her office closing, and it’s like permission for me to open my mouth and pour out all the confusion that is trapped in there.
“I should’ve listened. You told me, but I ignored you. Seriously, sometimes I just wish I wasn’t so stupid.” I blab it all out so quickly, I’m not sure she even caught everything I said.
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” she replies as I tuck my legs up on my chair and lean back away from my desk.
“Ughhh, you are going to make me say it, aren’t you.”
“You bet I am.” She laughs at me, and I know she’s lying that she said that she doesn’t know what I’ve done.
“Fine,” I huff at her. “I slept with him, okay? There, I said it.”
I listen to her laughing on the other end of the call. “And was it good?”
“No,” I snap.
“Liar,” she replies without hesitation.
“Fine, it was phenomenal, alright? You know, like out of this world, if you must know.” I close my eyes as the night replays in my head.
“So, what’s the problem then?” At least she has stopped laughing at me.
“The problem is that when he looks at me like he does, all sultry and sexy, I want to do it again!” I throw my hand in the air in frustration. “But that can’t happen, you know that.”
“Why can’t it, Harper? Let’s get real here. That man has it bad for you, I can see it in the way he looks at you. And why do you think he moved you into his home? Not just for shits and giggles.” I hate when she isn’t on Team Harper when I’m ranting.
“Because I made that rule a very long time ago and you know why. I’m not breaking it for a man I’m yelling at half the time because he is such an arrogant prick. Sure, he might be the best sex I have ever had, but it’s done now, so I move on like I always do and find my next target. He’ll be hard to beat, but I’ll work on finding someone.”
“Christ, Harper, this is not a game. Men aren’t like prizes you can rack up on your little trophy list.” Her voice changes in tone to be more like a mother than my friend.
“Oh, so it’s different now that you have changed camps and got off the single list. You have standards I need to adhere to.” I’m getting snappy now, and that’s not what this phone call was supposed to be.
“Back the fuck up. That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” Both of us fall silent and take a breath.
“Sorry,” I mumble at the same time she does too.
We both giggle a bit, and then I state the obvious. “We are always in sync, even talking at the same time.”
“Yeah, but you need to tune into my brain and listen to what I’m trying to tell you, Harper.”
“Probably,” I mutter.
“I’m going to come straight out and say this. I have never pushed you before because no man was ever good enough for you, but I can tell that Forrest is different. You can ignore the signs all you like, but you know I’m right. So maybe it’s time to put the trauma from your dad behind you and allow yourself to be happy. And I don’t mean with a nice home, beautiful clothes, traveling, all the materialistic things we both thought was all we needed up until now. Learn from me—they mean nothing, they truly don’t. Being loved and loving freely is the most amazing thing in this world. No Gucci handbag or trip to Milan will ever match it.”
“God, you are making me sound like I’m just a money-oriented woman who doesn’t have one bit of emotion in me.”
“No, that’s not what I said. You are the most beautiful soul, but you are just afraid to let anyone else see that. Let him in, Harper, he might just surprise you.”
“But what if he hurts me?” I whisper my greatest fear in life.
“But what if he doesn’t?” Felisha whispers back at me.
It’s a struggle to hold back tears. “Next time can you be on Team Harper?” I mumble to her.
“I am. You just can’t see it, but you will, and then I’ll be right here with my, ‘I told you so.’ Just like you did with Flynn.”
But that was different. She was worthy of his love.
I’m not lovable. My dad taught me that.